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Making You Mine...

Author's note: What inspired me to write this piece? Wow, let's see. Um... all my fiction work is actually just...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: What inspired me to write this piece? Wow, let's see. Um... all my fiction work is actually just a really twisted version of things that do go on this world and I try to incorporate a lot of maturity and importance as well as comedy and action. I realised people are taken from their normal lives and are forced into situations where they feel as if they do only have two choices and in their case neither sound endearing, I just really wanted to spread the this message. Please post this everywhere, this can help you anytime...
"When there are only two clear options available to you, make a third..."  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

Fainting? That is so uncool.

Chapter Four
It was so beautiful. Gothic but extravagant. The rooms were cold, lonely and desolate but romantic and mystical. I felt like a princess.
“Hello,” One of the maids asked. Oh yes they had maids. Of course they had! Because they’re just filthy rich criminals. “I’m Rebecca,”
“Hello,” I shook her hand.
“May I escort you to your room, M’lady?” She stood there smiling.
“My r-r-room.” I stuttered.
Then I felt his hand on my
I dedicate this to my fans. Books are something that authors do, and it is our hard work. but we would be nothing. I would be nothing if no- one commented or voted, which I hope you do. So thank you, Stay dedicated, and I will too.
back. I knew it was him. His cold hand, his cold touch. I was shivering. In repulsion. Then his breath on my neck. “Just play along, girly.”
He really does get to me. Oh, he’s got it coming to him.
I turned back to Rebecca. “That would be lovely, thank you.”
There was a massive staircase that begun in the concrete hallway and spiralled upwards onto numerous floors. Five floors. Oh you’re good Grace.
I was on the very first floor, thank god. The hall ways were all a deep red and was very feminine.
“All twelve candidates are placed on this floor.” Rebecca said leading the way.
“I don’t follow.” I scurried over, still in bare feet, my toes brushing across the lush carpet.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I do believe Prince Kaspar asked me to tell you about the competition.”
“Twelve contestants,”
“Right, yeah. I didn’t enter any competition…”
We stopped outside the last door. “No-one does. You get picked.”
Then she left. Left me standing. In a house full of criminals, in a competition I had been picked for. This is messed up.
I opened the door, creaking with its every shudder of movement sweeping across the red carpet at my feet. Everything in the room was a blood red or black. It was amazing. Magnificent and exquisite.
And they even had a king bed. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
Wait, what am I thinking? This can only be trouble.
How long have I been here? Lying on this bed lost in thoughts. I don’t know, but someone was knocking on my door.
“Come in.” I cried. My voice slightly muffled by the bed sheets.
Rebecca walked in and curtsied at the door, Prince Kaspar has asked me to prepare you for the first dismissive ball.
This is going to be good.
“I can’t breathe.” I gasped for breath, doubling over.
“Oh,” Rebecca let out a small squeal messing around with the straps on my corset and immediately I felt the pressure across my chest loosen, slightly, but enough to breathe.
“How’s that? I’m sorry.” She kept fumbling round the dress.
“It’s ok.” I wheezed.
It had as corset, and a very long skirt. It was nice.
But only nice enough for those Georgian era duchesses.
“Why the hell, am I wearing this?” I muttered, In don’t think Rebecca heard. I think she did however notice my gesture towards the dress. The dress with the ruffled train and and lace old fashioned corset. It was a pale skin colour, and pretty in a - rather old fashioned way.
I had asked her before. I had practically screamed at her to tell me why I was wearing this stupid dress, but no. No answer.
“OK, you’re done!” She exclaimed happily, her hands clapping together excitedly.
I don’t know how many times in the duration of this ‘kidnapping’, really twisted kidnapping, that I am not happy. But once again. I am not happy. Damn, is pretty much all I had to say at the moment.
Rebecca took me by the hand and led me back through the twisting corridors. Vases, clocks and roses lined the walls and I felt as, for some odd reason, like I was in the mad hatter’s tea party. This place really is odd.
And then we reached the stairs. It was different. A blood red carpet lined the clean white marble stairs and roses curled down the banister.
It felt so so special.
And so so wrong.
“Go on down.” Rebecca whispered in my ear urging me on. I made my way down the stairs, the tapping of my heels was muffled against the carpet. At the bottom, the carpet led to a side door, I hadn’t noticed when I walked through here before, and I took it.
Ballrooms? Do people still have those? Apparently. Imagine the theme that I had passed in the corridors. Roses, red and black, them imagine it hanging from the ceilings and crawling up the walls.
And inside were rows and rows of tables. I walked in. at the far end was a raised platform with a microphone. I felt numerous eyes on me. I looked down.
Ms Hammond.
Well, that’s odd. I pulled out the satin chair and sat myself down. I looked around. We were sat at the back sat opposite an identical table of six and in front there were large rectangular tables that look as if they held some very important people.
Chastity sat on the opposite table. There were other girls sat next to her, all looked our age and they all leaned towards her captivated in Chastity’s every word. She was always very popular. I was not; I was a maverick in my own right. I like to think I was the exciting one, but I think to a lot of people it’s actually Chastity.
I didn’t receive glares but I could feel they’re eyes, burning into me. Scouring me. I feel, all of a sudden, very vulnerable. I am in a room full of kidnappers, of course I do.
Someone walked up to the microphone, Kaspar. “Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, especially to our contestants…”
I swear on my life he winked at me.
“… A good evening to all. What a wonderful start to the competition…”
The crowd laughed and cheered. I looked around properly for the first time; Kaspar’s words just whispers in my head. The people around me. Some were cheering along and smiling and others were crying. Sobbing into their hands, clutching the tablecloth.
“…I will now explain the competition and its prizes…”
He winked again, not at me, at Chastity and the other table.
“There are three clues, you must find them all. It is rather simple. Two rules however…” He cleared his throat.
This is a weird night.
“No alliances, anyone found working in a group will be disqualified. No cheating, no telling where the clues are or leading anyone there purposely. You will be disqualified. And the prize…”
All the girls swooned, I peered over at Chastity. I bet you any money she was smitten, with him.
“My hand in marriage, and becoming queen of the vamperic kingdom.” He shouted raising his arms, the whole room jeered.
That was it. Enough. That was enough. I could feel my eyes flickering finding the back of my head, my head lolling backwards. The shadows consumed me, they ate me.
In simple words, I just fainted.

Dear Mother.
Six Gone Already
Never trust your servant. If you ask them to tell your son that you want him to pick six girls they will tell him that your father wants you to get twelve girls. Unbelievable.
It was a messy job, six obsessive girls. But now they’re gone. Gone. And you know what I mean when I say ‘gone.’
We can’t let any of these loud mouthed kids back into the world knowing vampires exist, now can we?
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next »

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This book has 19 comments. Post your own now!

JustExisting said...
Nov. 26, 2017 at 12:10 pm
please write moreeeeeeeeeeee
candyfromhawaii said...
Oct. 28, 2016 at 3:10 pm
yes moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee please
EstherC said...
May 19, 2015 at 7:56 pm
I love this! You haveee to continue it.
The_Fantasy_Life said...
May 19, 2015 at 2:03 pm
Amazing... You have NO choice, but to finish... PLEASE!!!
Cheshirekat said...
Jul. 11, 2014 at 3:31 pm
Wow you have to finish this!
bubbles6 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 28, 2014 at 8:51 am
You should right more, I really can't wait to see where this goes.
LostInStereo said...
Feb. 11, 2014 at 5:49 pm
The storyline is unique, which makes the story very entertaining. However, I agree with the other commenters when they say to check your grammar. Also, be sure to stay in the same tense throughout the entire story. I do the same thing when I write. I begin writing in past or present, and end up in the other. It helps immensely with the flow of the story if you are sure to stay in a single one. Also, it doesn't make sense if the story is in present tense one sentence, and past in the next. Good... (more »)
RoseRatchet said...
Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:41 pm
uniqueish idea, please continue and please check your grammer.
RoseRatchet replied...
Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:43 pm
*grammar, also please ignore the irony of these comments
FallenAngel170198 said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:15 am
Write more please? :D this is awesome
HeLLo2u2 said...
Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:46 am
this was realy good but id go through it againg and cheak your spelling and gramar.
RachelB2 said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:33 am

"i kicked and trashed"

no, you didn't trash, you thrashed

Cheshirekat replied...
Jul. 11, 2014 at 3:02 pm
The irony of this statment is killing me..
RachelB2 said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 7:29 am

Hey Rachel here

great book and i actually think that it wasn't just cjrlotte using my accoung which she made for me...

FULLSTOP said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 4:25 am

HI!!! annoying psycho here...


a) this is an AMMAZING BOOK

b) whilst it deserves comments, try this: comment on other people's work, and ask them to look at yours when they do. It works

FULLSTOP replied...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 4:26 am
actually, can you look at some of my work? 
Renegade9891 replied...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 4:52 am
kk, I'm a looking.
FULLSTOP replied...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 5:09 am
k btw Lou Lou i can't find ur orum. wassitcalled?
Renegade9891 said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 3:48 am

Hello, everyone. 

I would really appreciate it if you could all vote and comment. I would love comments even if they are negative. I, as a writer, still have LOADS to learn.

Thank you,


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