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Conflicted (Unfinished)

Author's note: This piece really means a lot to me and I am trying my hardest to make it the best that it can...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This piece really means a lot to me and I am trying my hardest to make it the best that it can be. Most of the time, I have experienced the events and feelings portrayed in the chapters, and I am trying hard to make the readers feel like they are right there with the characters.  « Hide author's note
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Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Finally the weekend had come. I was walking out to my car with Ava when Kristy skipped up to us.
“Hey guys! Happy Friday!” Kristy exclaimed, jumping up and down.
Ava turned to me, ignoring Kristy. “I forgot to tell you, my family decided to leave early this weekend, so I can’t do anything tonight.”
I frowned. I was sort of looking forward to making plans with Ava, Sam, and Jessica tonight. I guess we will have to figure something out for next weekend instead.
“It’s okay. I think my family was going out to dinner anyways.” I said.
“Okay, sorry about that.”
“It’s no big deal.” I said, smiling.
Kristy was glowing behind Ava. Why was she in such a good mood? She looked like she was about to burst with excitement.
“What is it Kristy?” I asked.
“Well there’s a party tonight, if you wanna go,” she blurted out, winking at me.
Suddenly, butterflies filled my stomach and my eyes went wide. I had totally forgotten about Carter’s party! Yes! This means I can go now!
“Oh, yeah! Sure, that’s what I can do!” I said, trying to hide my excitement.
“Sounds like fun!” Ava said, smiling. I’m sure she was disappointed she couldn’t go, but we aren’t normal partiers anyways.
“Okay, I gotta go, I’ll call you later Amara. I can drive you over there,” Kristy said, waving and walking the opposite way.
“Bye Kristy, sounds good!” I said, walking with Ava to my car.

Here I was again, sitting in front of my closet, trying to figure out what to wear. I wanted to look good tonight. Carter was going to be there which means Jonathan probably will be too.
Kristy had called shortly after I dropped Ava off. Kristy said she was going to pick me up around 6:00pm, so I had about an hour.
I took another shower when I got home, so I still had wet hair and a towel around me, staring at my closet. I was getting frustrated so I decided to work on my hair and make-up, and about twenty minutes my hair was slightly curled and I had some shimmer eye shadow, making my eyes shine more than usual. I tried not to over-do my makeup. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard.
I looked in my closet one last time and found the perfect clothes for a party. I grabbed my darkest skinny jeans and light blue top. The shirt flowed easily over my body and had some sequins on it, making marks on the wall when lights hit them. I smiled just thinking about tonight. I grabbed my phone, stuck it in my butt pocket, and slid on some cute flats. Okay, ready to go. I looked at the clock. Ten minutes to spare.
I checked myself in the mirror, brushed my teeth, and put some clear lip gloss on. Okay, finally ready. My phone started ringing.
“Hello?” I asked into the phone.
“Come on! Let’s go party!” Kristy’s voice, screamed into the phone.
I laughed and said, “Okay, Kristy, I’m coming.” I walked downstairs.
“Mom! I’m leaving!” I yelled, not sure where she was.
“Okay, honey! Have fun! Keep in touch please,” my mom’s voice rang out from somewhere in the house.
“Will do!” I yelled and walked out the front door. I jumped into Kristy’s car so excited for the night. “Hey,” I said.
“Amara! You look so good! I’m going to have to keep an eye on you,” Kristy said, backing out of the driveway.
“No, Kristy. Please, I just want to have fun tonight. I really need this.” I pleaded, smiling at her.
She groaned. “Fine. Okay. I guess I’ll let you have some fun tonight. But be safe!!”
“Kristy!! I’m not planning on having sex!” I exclaimed.
“Well you never know. These are senior boys, hun. You gotta be smart.”
“Okay, okay.” I said.
The drive to Carter’s house was relatively short. He lived about fifteen minutes away from my house and the party was already busy when we got there. Kristy didn’t want to be the first ones here, so we arrived a little late.
Carter’s house wasn’t too big. About the size of mine, but he had much more space for cars than I did. He lived down a long road and had a lot of open grass area to park cars.
When Kristy and I got out of the car, a few guys around us, whistled. I smiled to myself. I was going to have fun tonight. I’m usually not a drinker. I’ve actually never had anything alcoholic before, so I wasn’t going to go too overboard tonight, but you never know.
I followed Kristy to the front of the house and we walked in the front door. We walked deeper into the house, pushing our way through the people that were already there. There was music blasting and I could barely hear anything. I laughed, both nervous and excited.
“Kristy!!” I heard someone yell. I turned around and saw a few guys walking our way. She smiled a waved.
“Hey, guys. How are you?” She asked, totally flirting.
“Pretty good,” One said, looking towards me.
“Oh!” Kristy, spoke up. “This is Amara. She’s a friend of mine and Carter’s.”
“Hey, I’m Liam. This is Tom and Alex.” His smile was genuine and I had no choice but to smile back. He was cute. He had short, dark hair and was slightly taller than me.
“Hey,” I said, smiling. “So, how do you know Carter?” I asked Liam, as Kristy and the other two boys left, walking towards the kitchen.
“Oh, we used to go to school together,” He said.
“Where do you go to school now?” I asked, curious.
Woodland High School was the other main high school in Woodland, where I lived. East Land High School was built many years later, because Woodland was overflowing with students. Where you lived determined where you attend school, so Liam and Carter were obviously in different school zones.
“Oh, gotcha.”
“I assume you go to East Land then?”
“Yeah, I do,” I said, nodding my head.
“Lucky. That school is so nice.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” I smiled and looked behind Liam to see Carter coming our way.
“Hey, Liam! Talking to my girl Amara are you?” Carter asked Liam, as he draped his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way.
“I was. How are you?” Liam asked.
“Pretty good! You?” Carter asked.
“Good! You throw a nice party!”
“Thanks man! Glad you could come.”
Liam smiled and waved to someone behind me. “Well, I’ll talk to you guys later,” Liam said, and walked towards the person he waved to.
With Carter’s arm around me, it was pretty hard to focus on what was going on around me. His arm felt so nice there, and I wanted him to keep it there forever. I leaned into him and he hugged me closer.
“Come on. I want you to meet some people.” Carter whispered into my ear, his breath making me shiver.
He pulled me through the crowd and he stopped every now and then, introducing me to a few of his guy friends. Most of them went to Woodland, so I had never met them, and damn, most of them were so hot. I wish I went to Woodland.
About an hour later Kristy came up to me and Carter. Carter and I were sitting around the bar in his basement. I had told him I would drink a beer or something, but he wouldn’t let me drink, which was probably best. He decided not to drink any tonight either, which made me feel better.
“Amara, come on let’s go.” Kristy said.
“What?” I asked.
“I said, we are leaving.”
“No, I want to stay here.” I said, confused. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just thought you might want to go home. You’ve been here a while.”
“I’m just getting started!” I winked at Carter, laughing,
“Well, how are you going to get home if I leave?” Kristy asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I said, disappointed.
“I can bring you home, Amara,” Carter said, putting his arm around me.
“Are you sure?” I asked him.
“Yeah, for sure. If you want to stay, you can stay.”
“Okay! Thanks.” I said, kissing his cheek.
“You sure Carter?” Kristy spoke up.
“Yeah, it’s no big deal.” Carter ensured.
“Okay, well then I’m going to leave. Bye Amara! Remember what I told you.” She smiled and then left.
I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself.
“What was she talking about?” Carter asked, poking my side.
I laughed, “Oh, nothing.” I stood up, “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”
“Why?” He asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him.
“I dunno. I’m bored with down here. Let’s go mingle upstairs.” I said, giving him a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes.
“Well, if you do that, I have no choice.” He smiled and stood up.
We walked upstairs and the first person I saw was Jonathan. I bet that is why Carter didn’t want to come up here. He wanted to keep me to himself.
I looked back at Carter and his eyes found Jonathan. He tightened his jaw and looked back at me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” He said, shaking his head.
“Well, obviously something’s wrong.” I said, and he pulled me into the living room, where a lot of people were dancing.
He worked his way to the middle, as if to hide me. He pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing my back against his rock hard abs. I moved my hips back and forth and his arm around me tightened.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” I said, leaning back so he could hear me.
“I just want to have you to myself for a little bit longer. I’ve been having fun with you,” He said into my ear, his breath washing over me making shivers crawl down my spine. I smiled and kept dancing and soon, part of me wanted to turn around and kiss Carter, right there. But I’ve never kissed a boy and I’m not sure if Carter would want me to.
I few minutes later, I felt Carter stiffen behind me. I looked up and saw Jonathan coming towards us. Carter stopped dancing and took my hand, walking us over to Jonathan. I squeezed his hand gently and he looked back to smile at me.
“Hey guys,” Jonathan said, smiling at me.
“Hi Jonathan,” I said, letting go of Carter’s hand. Jonathan still made my heart skip a beat. His smile was so amazing I couldn’t stop smiling, and his eyes kept pulling me in. I couldn’t stop staring.
“You having fun Amara?” Jonathan asked.
I blinked a couple times and smiled. “Yeah! Carter has introduced me to a bunch of people.”
“Well that’s good. Glad you’re having fun.” Jonathan smiled. “Amara, do you want to dance with me?” He asked.
I’m pretty sure I blushed and I nodded my head. I felt bad for leaving Carter, but I had been with him all night so far.
Jonathan took my hand and pulled me to the middle of the dance floor. He pulled me against him and I felt secure. His hands were on my hips as a moved them back and forth. I could tell he was enjoying himself, because he was breathing heavy in my ear and he was holding me close to him, like he was never going to let go.
“You look good tonight, Amara,” He said to me over the music. I blushed and smiled to myself, glad he couldn’t see me.
“Thanks,” I managed to get out.

Carter’s POV

I can’t say that I’m mad, because I had my chance. I had spent most of my time with Amara tonight, and I had the most fun I’ve had in a while and I wasn’t even drinking. I told myself not to because I didn’t want Amara to drink too. It’s better for her.
I was surprised that Kristy left without Amara. Kristy seemed really protective of Amara , so something must have gone wrong for her to be that upset. But I guess Amara was with me, so that probably made it better for her.
Of course, now Jonathan’s with her. I suppose I should make sure that he doesn’t manage to do something stupid.
I mean, Jonathan is a good guy, one of my best friends and we’ve only known each other for a few months, but still. For some reason , I feel like I need to make sure Amara is okay, especially with him. I feel like he’d be the one to take advantage of her. I just know he’s that type of guy. I see the way he watches Kristy even. It’s like he’s never happy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hooks up with a girl tonight, even after he’s been hanging with Amara.
Maybe I should really go make sure she’s okay.
I started walking towards where I last saw them, dancing in the living room. It reminded me of when I had danced with her there earlier. I had enjoyed that so much. She was an amazing dancer. She was driving me crazy and it had been so hard for me not to push her farther. I just enjoy holding her close to me. It felt right.
I eventually pushed through the people there. Even though people were starting to leave, it was still busy. I was going to have a lot of work to do tomorrow.
“Carter!” I heard my name called and stopped to look around. I saw Liam and waved.
“Hey Liam.” I smiled. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I am leaving soon. I guess it’s raining pretty hard, and people are having a hard time seeing. Supposed to get worse too.” Liam said.
“Really?” I looked out the nearest window. It was hard to see because it was dark, but I believed Liam. “Okay, well drive safe, man.” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling his into a chest bump hug, that all us guys do.
“Will do. Thanks for the party too.” Liam said.
“Anytime!” I said, as Liam turned to leave.
So it’s raining. Maybe I should get Amara home now. Before it gets worse. I started walking towards my living room again.
“Jonathan!” I yelled, he was walking with Amara towards the basement.
He didn’t hear me so I thought I would meet them at the basement door.
“Amara,” I said, getting her attention.
“Hey Carter!” She said, smiling. I ignored the butterflies in my stomach and the urge to kiss her.
“Liam just told me that it’s raining pretty hard, making it hard to see.” I said, hoping she would get the hint that I need to take her home, even though I really didn’t want to.
“Oh, so you probably want to take me home then right?” she asked, still smiling.
“I really don’t want to. I want you to stay, but I need to get you home safe.” I said, hoping she’d understand.
“Carter, you have a lot going on here, why don’t you let me take her?” Jonathan spoke up, and I tried hard not to punch him. “I mean, it would just be easier for you. And safer too. You don’t need to drive all the way to her house and then come all the way back. I can just drop her off on my way home.”
As much as I hated to admit it, I knew Jonathan was right.
I nodded me head. “Yeah, I guess that’s safer.” I said. “Thanks for looking out for her. Kristy left her behind earlier and wanted me to make sure she’s having fun and stuff. So thanks.” I said, feeling like a fool.
“Anytime. I’ll make sure she’s home safe, for Kristy. I wouldn’t want her mad at me.” Jonathan said, smirking.
I just shook my head laughing. “Alright you guys, well thanks for coming.” I said.
“We will definitely have to do this again sometime,” Jonathan said. “I had fun.”
“I wouldn’t mind smaller group of people,” Amara said, speaking up. She winked at us and I looked at Jonathan.
He looked back and me and we both smiled. “I might have to take you up on that Amara,” I said, pulling her into a hug.
“Alright, well just let me know!” She said, laughing. Her laugh made my knees weak. Why did she have the effect on me? It was hard, but I let her pull away from my body.
“Keep me in the loop about this ‘party’ we are going to have,” Jonathan said. “I want to be there.”
“For sure, man. And thanks for bringing her home too.” I said, fist bumping him.
He smiled back and then Amara and him left, leaving me wishing I had stolen a kiss from the beautiful girl Jonathan was leaving with.

Jonathan’s POV

In the end, I was glad I went to the party. I had heard Carter talking about it, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. I knew hot girls were going to be there and I don’t mind drinking and having fun, but I just didn’t feel up to it. Carter had mentioned Amara coming to his party earlier in the day, which became the only reason for me to go. I just wanted to see her outside of school. See what she was like.
In the end, I had had a ton of fun. Amara was just a fun girl to be around and she didn’t have to be drunk either. Sometimes the girls that throw themselves at me are drunker that I can imagine and I hook up with them just because they make me laugh. Drunk girls are the funniest to be around.
But tonight, no drinking for me. I didn’t even feel the need to have a drink, which was weird for me. Usually, it’s the first thing I do. But for Amara’s sake, I didn’t. I didn’t want to pressure into drinking, so I just stayed away from it.
When I first arrived at the party, I ran into Kristy. I had asked her if Amara had come with her, and she started to get all defensive. I didn’t know what I did, so I just sort of let it go. But she kept telling me not to talk to her, and all this random shit.
So I asked her what was wrong and she just told me that Amara was special, and not to hurt her. She told me Amara had never really had a boyfriend before and hadn’t been kissed. This really surprised me. Amara was beautiful, and I’m sure that she could get any boy to kiss her if she really wanted.
All night I was thinking about kissing her, especially knowing she had never been kissed. It made me want to do it more, but I wanted to respect her, for now.
Kristy must have been pretty mad at me, because according to Carter, she had stomped off, leaving Amara. I wonder how that worked out. I bet Kristy would be pissed if she knew I was bringing her home.

We were in the car now, Amara and I. The roads weren’t too bad, but I can see why Carter had wanted me to get her home. I looked over to where she was sitting next to me in my car. She looked deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked her, curious.
She looked over at me, and smiled. “Nothing really. I had a really good time tonight.” She said.
“Me too.” I said, glad I was driving her home.
I was trying hard not to pull the car over and kiss her, but I knew I just had to focus on getting her home.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked me, her eyes pleading for an answer.
I thought for a moment. “I was thinking about you,” I finally said.
“What about me?” She asked.
“You’re a good dancer. Did I tell you that? I wish we never stopped.” I looked over to her and she was blushing, and she knew it. “I love making you do that.” I said, smiling at her.
She brought her hands up to her cheeks, as if that would really help. I grabbed one of her hands and pulled her hand away. I kept a hold of her hand, never wanting to let it go. Her hand was so soft and small. It made me think of when she touched my face that day at the parade. “I told you, you’re cute when you blush.” I said, to her.
“I know, but still. It’s annoying,” she said.
“Whatever you say,” I said, rolling my eyes. I stole a glance her way and caught her sticking her tongue out at me.
“So, you going to tell me where you live? Or do you expect me to know?” I asked her.
She laughed and directed me to her house. Soon after that, I pulled into her driveway.
“You know, I live just over there,” I said, pointing out her window. We were less than a mile away from me house.
“Really?” She asked and I nodded my head. She smiled at me and I winked back at her, but she just rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for the ride Jonathan.” She said, opening her door.
“Anytime Amara,” I said, wishing she could stay with me forever. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.” She said, looking back at me. “Seeya later,” She said, and I waved, before she shut my door.
God. I should have kissed her. Now, I wasn’t going to get her out of my head. I pulled away from her house shaking my head. My next job was to get her number. That would make everything better.

Amara’s POV

I opened my front door and took my shoes off.
“Amara, honey? Did you have fun?” My dad’s voice was in a whisper.
I looked up the stairs and saw him standing there in his pajamas.
“Yes, daddy, I did.” I said, walking towards him.
“Good. Glad you had fun.”
I gave him a hug. “Goodnight daddy.”
“Goodnight sweet heart. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I walked to my room and quickly shed my clothes, crawling into bed with a bra and underwear on. Ugh. I was tired. I wish tonight hadn’t ended. I had had so much fun with Carter and Jonathan. I glanced at my clock. 1:00am. No wonder I was so tired. I had been partying for a while. I laughed to myself.
I knew Carter was jealous because Jonathan took me home, and I felt bad, but Jonathan was right, it was safer. I hope that these guys don’t fight over me like that all the time. I don’t know who I would choose. They are both sexy and fun to be around.
I wish I was more ‘out there.’ Maybe I would have gotten my first kiss. I knew it was coming soon. I was just tired of waiting for it. I guess I sort of wanted to get it over with, but not regret it either. So I guess I did have to be smart about it too.
I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I could still feel Carter’s hands on my body as we danced and I could feel the tingling in my hand from where Jonathan had held it on the way home.
I just couldn’t get them out of my head. Carter and Jonathan were both so beautiful; I didn’t know what to do. After thinking about my night longer and having butterflies invade my stomach, I soon drifted off to sleep, hoping for good dreams.
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This book has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Jaguar17 said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:58 am
This is awesome, hope there['s more :D hurry and write more <3
ForThoseWhoHaveHeart said...
Jun. 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm
This was simply amazing. I hope you almost done with the next few chapters! I loved it.(: Continue with the good work.

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