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Author's note: This piece really means a lot to me and I am trying my hardest to make it the best that it can be. Most of the time, I have experienced the events and feelings portrayed in the chapters, and I am trying hard to make the readers feel like they are right there with the characters.
“Amara! Let’s go! We can’t be late!” My mom was screaming at me from the bottom of the main staircase leading to our grand foyer.
“I’ll be right there mom!” I yell back, checking myself for the third time in my bathroom mirror. God. She really knows how to stress someone out early in the morning.
I grab my cheer bag and my cell phone and go downstairs. I run in to my six year old brother and accidently knock him down.
“Ugh. Sorry Alex.” I said, barely stopping to make sure he’s okay. “Are you okay?” I ask as I keep running down the stairs.
“Yeah, Amara. I’m fine,” Alexander says as he follows me down the stairs.
“Sorry, bud. I was just in a hurry.” I said to him and ruffle his hair. Alex just rolls his eyes at me and pushes me aside. “Love you too,” I mumble.
“Amara! Let’s go!” My mom screams at me again.
“Mom! I’m right here! No need to yell.” I yell, and grab my water bottle off the counter.
“Sorry, I just don’t want to be late. We still have to decorate the float and make sure we get a good spot. We don’t want Mary getting mad.” My mom came rushing into the kitchen, cleaning up a few things before grabbing her car keys.
My mom was right, though. My cheer coach, Mary, is always uptight on parade days. We don’t want to make it worse by showing up late, especially when my dad drives the “float” that all the cheerleaders walk behind.
“Aren’t the football players going to be there this week? Since it’s the biggest parade of the year?” I ask, stuffing a bagel in my mouth.
“Yes, honey. That’s why we need to be there early. I think the football coach has a fire truck coming for them to ride in.” My mom said, stopping for a moment to look at me. “You look beautiful, Amara.”
“Thanks mom.” I said. I wanted to look cute today, for this parade, because I knew the football players were going to be there. I didn’t really know most of them because I never made a point of talking to them, but this school year was going to be different. So, I wanted to make a good “first” impression.
“Jack? Is the car ready, hun?” My mom asked my dad.
“Yes, Melanie, everything is ready. I just need people in the car!” My dad, clarified. Even my dad can be a little stressed out on parade days.
“Amara, do you have the streamers and paint ready to decorate the car? You might need some tape too, because I think Mary is bringing signs for us to hang up,” My dad said to me.
“Yeah, I do. It’s all ready.” I ensured.
“Okay, then let’s go! People in the car now!” My dad yelled.
My parents, Alex, and I all piled in the car and my dad backed out of the driveway. It was only a five minute drive to the parade, so my family didn’t talk much.
When people mention parents who are involved in the cheerleading program at my school, my parents are always mentioned first. My parents do everything to make sure that my cheerleading experience in the best.
I have been cheering since I was in sixth grade and my parents have supported me the whole way through. My best friend, Ava, and I have cheered for the past six years together and both of our parents are always helping out. This year is probably the last year my parents are going to “run” this cheer program. They want to actually watch some of my season and relax before I go off to college. I’ve still got a year, since I’m starting my junior year, but they are just planning ahead.
Being captain for the past three years also brings attention to my family. Ava and I have been captains together since we were freshmen at East Land High School. Without sounding bitchy, all the younger cheerleaders know who we are before they meet us.
Ava and I aren’t typical slutty cheerleaders though. Neither of us have had a serious boyfriend before. Well, I did in eighth grade, but I barely count that.
Did I mention how our school hates cheerleaders? At most schools, cheerleaders are the prom queens and at the top of the food chain, but at our school, we are the dead center of the food chain. We aren’t discriminated against like some people expect, but we definitely don’t get to talk to the football boys on a regular basis. That’s why today’s parade is so important. My days of not talking to football players is over.
I’m sitting with a satisfied grin on my face when my family pulls into the parade line. There are very few people here, that’s how early my family is. My dad stops the car and we all get out.
I take a deep breath before I open my door. Parades are always hectic with Mary as a coach. Everything has to be perfect, so I’m just bracing myself.
“Amara, honey! Will you bring me some tape?” My dad yelled at me.
“Yeah, dad. One second!” I yelled. I took one last breath before opening my door.
I gasped and was thinking about closing my door when I saw what was waiting for me outside. The first thing I saw was a boy face down in the ditch and I already knew today was going to be a long day.
At first I just stared. I didn’t really know what to do and obviously I was the only one that noticed a boy lying face down in the grass.
I slowly got out of my dad’s truck and set my bag down on the grass a few feet away from the boy. I walked over to him and bent down carefully.
I sat there for a few moments, just staring, waiting for him to do something first. When he didn’t, I gently poked him shoulder.
“Hello?” I asked, hoping that the boy would respond. I sat there for a few more seconds before I started pushing this boy over. He needed to wake up before someone saw him.
I started to push on one side and then realized how heavy he was. This guy was more muscular that I thought. Maybe he was a football player.
I gave one more push and the boy flopped over so he was now laying on his back. This gave me a good chance to look at his face.
This boy had a strong chiseled face that made him look older that I was guessing he was. His light brown hair was short, but cute, which I liked. He was handsome and looked calm, but then again he was sleeping. I let out a breath that I realized I’d been holding. He really was cute.
I reached out to touch his face, which was a little stubbly from lack of shaving. My fingers lingered over his cheek for a moment before I gently stroked his face. His face was warm, probably because he has been laying on it, and he looked to be about my age, if not a year or two older. My hand felt like it was on fire and I couldn’t pull away.
Suddenly the boy flinched and squeezed his eyes tighter. I pulled my hand away quickly. The boy slowly opened his eyes and all I saw was blue that seemed to go on forever. His eyes were the brightest blue I have ever seen in my life. I tried to look away, but they kept pulling me back in. I felt like I was looking into the eye of a hurricane. His blue eyes swirled around the black center bringing me in with them.
“Who are you?” The boy had finally spoken and I was still lost in his eyes. He gently reached out and touched my bare arm. His hands were so soft I almost wanted this moment to never stop. I leaned into his arm, not wanting his had to leave my skin, even though his touch sent heat waves across my body. “Who are you?” He asked again, and he closed his eyes, breaking the spell they had on me.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said and tried standing up, flustered, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back close to him. His eyes were pleading with mine, asking for an answer. “My name is Amara,” I finally managed to tell him, my voice almost a whisper.
He smile was so genuine, I never wanted to leave him. “Oh, my name is Jonathan.” His voice was like silk. So smooth and calming. I wanted to listen to him talk all day.
There was an awkward silence between us as we stared at each other. Neither of us knew what to say.
“Amara! I need that tape I was asking for!” My dad yelled over to me from the other side of the car. He couldn’t see me. The silence was broken and we were both brought back to reality.
I stood up slowly, whispering to Jonathan. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” I started walking away. “Coming!” I yelled back to my dad.
I grabbed the tape out of the back seat of the car and went around to give it to my dad.
“Thanks, sweetie.” My dad said to me, taking the tape.
“Where’s Mom and Alex?” I asked.
“Alex had to go to the bathroom.” He responded, busy with his work.
“Oh,” I said, walking away. I didn’t want to get stuck with a job right now. I needed to talk to Jonathan.
I walked back over to where I left Jonathan only to find that he was gone. The only thing left was a bunch of matted down grass from where he was laying. I looked around and didn’t see anyone. I was disappointed. Where did he go? Didn’t I ask him to stay where he was?
“Amara! Will you come and help us put some streamers on the truck?” My mom’s voice rang out.
Reluctantly, I walked over to the back of the car and stopped breathing. Jonathan was helping my mom hang up the streamers. What is going on? My heart started beating faster than usual and Jonathan looked over at me.
He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Oh, Amara, this is Jonathan. He’s on the football team at your school and was here early, so he decided to help out. Isn’t that sweet?” My mom didn’t look at me because she was too busy with streamers. “I’m surprised you guys don’t know each other, Amara. You need to be more social and get with handsome guys like Jonathan.”
I blushed slightly. God. My mom. She would say that in front of him.
Jonathan was still looking at me. He smirked and I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh.
“Well, to be fair, Mrs. Collins, I just moved here at the beginning of the summer. I only know a few guys that go to the school.”
“Oh, well, then I guess you two can be friends going into the new year.” My mom said, smiling at me.
I just rolled my eyes. Jonathan was adorable, but there was no way we could even be considered friends. The last time I had a friend that was a guy, was in eighth grade, and he was my boyfriend. Jonathan was probably like all the rest of the boys I’ve ever met. Annoying, full of himself, and hungry for more than I can give him, if you know what I mean. Boys are pigs.
“Amara,” his voice made me regret what I was just thinking. “I want to talk to you,” Jonathan said.
I turned around and found him right behind me. I took a step back, unprepared for his closeness.
“Yeah?” I asked. I was still in shock from his eyes. Are they real?
“Yes, they’re real.” He said, letting out a breath.
“Oh, uhm. Did I say that out loud?” I asked him, embarrassed.
“No, you didn’t.” He laughed. I blushed. “I just get asked that a lot and you haven’t been able to take your pretty eyes away from them since I opened them.” He smiled again.
Did he just call my eyes pretty. I thought we were talking about his eyes. I was blushing more now.
“Oh, well you’re eyes are unbelievable. It’s hard to take mine away.” I mumbled, not sure I wanted him to hear me admit that.
“I heard that.” He smiled, his finger quickly brushing against my jaw line. Then he turned around to go and help my parents with something else.
Maybe this kid can be one of my friends.
Jonathan and I didn’t really talk for the next thirty minutes. We were too busy finishing up with the decorations, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t catch him staring at me a couple of times.
My coach finally showed up and so did the rest of the cheerleading team. The football boys shuffled around and looked uncomfortable, but I don’t blame them. Mary was barking orders at them and they just didn’t know what to do. A few cheerleaders mingled with them, including me and Ava.
“Ava, come here. Let’s go talk to them.” I said under my breath, so that only she could hear.
Ava nodded and then we walked over to them. We were both smiling and laughing as we approached a boy in our grade.
We talked to him for a few moments, but I only wanted to talk to Jonathan. Speaking of him. Where was he?
“Amara? Can you come here please?” Mary’s voice was high and demanding.
I left Ava to talk to the boys and walked to where Mary was standing behind the truck.
“Yes?” I asked , Mary.
“Can you get the girls ready to start walking. Make sure all their bags are in the truck and everything?”
“Yeah, of course.” I walked away and went up to a couple of girls telling them to get ready.
Five minutes later, the truck was rolling and everyone was following behind it. We waved to all the people and smiled as we walked along the streets. I was happy to be out, getting some sun. It was hot out and the sun was shining down on us the whole morning. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was sunburned later.
I’m walking behind about forty cheerleaders in short skirts and yet I’m only looking for one girl. Amara was beautiful, and I don’t even think she knows it. The moment she touched my face I felt like I belonged to her. I can still feel her soft hands stroking my cheek.
Her brown eyes locked me on her face as soon as I opened my eyes. I knew what she was feeling when she told me she was lost in my eyes. It was happening to me too. I’ve never see deeper brown eyes in my life. Then again, I really don’t make a point of looking into girls’ eyes…
I take another deep breath and try to look around somewhere beside the pack of cheerleaders ahead of me. I’m glad that I wasn’t on the fire truck like the most of the football boys. I would’ve been able to watch Amara the whole time. A couple other guys and I decided to walk in front of the fire truck instead. It seemed safer down here anyways.
I don’t even know why I am here to be honest. I know this sounds bad, but I don’t even care that I am part of the stupid football team. We have sucked for the past three years, and I doubt we will be better this year. The only reason I am here is because my coach bribed us, with a shortened practice next week, but everyone had to show up. I didn’t want to get my ass kicked by my teammates so I came.
Too bad, my car is broken down and I had to have my sister drop me off. I wouldn’t have been here so early if I had my own car. I probably could have slept in a couple more hours. My sister had to go to work and the only time she could drop me off was an hour before I actually had to be here. I guess I am sort of glad that I was dropped off early though. I got to meet Amara, didn’t I?
God. I’ve only known her for an hour and I can’t get her out of my head. What am I going to do? Nothing probably. I mean I won’t have any classes with her. Her mom mentioned that she was a junior, and since I am going to be a senior it will have to be a complete miracle for me to have a class with her. But that doesn’t I won’t see her in the hallways, I hope.
I really need to get my mind off of her. I don’t need her invading my mind right now. I know that sounds mean but I have to focus on my grades this year if I wasn’t to go into the army after I graduate. Plus she probably won’t want to get to know me anyways. She’s too good for me.
“Dude, you okay?” someone punched my arm, playfully.
“What?” I paused, “I mean, yeah I’m okay.”
“Okay, man. Whatever,” another guy said.
We kept walking and I kept looking for Amara in the group of girls walking ahead of me. I got a glimpse of her and my heart sped up. What was wrong with me? She was whispering to her friend, Ava, I think. They were snickering and looking around. I wonder what they were talking about.
We finally finished the parade and Amara’s dad pulled the truck into the parking lot to begin tearing down all the hard work we put into it this morning.
I liked Amara’s parents. They were pretty easy going and it was obvious how much they cared about her. My parents would never go into that much trouble for me. I mean, my parents care about me and all, but they wouldn’t do something like this.
I felt really comfortable around her parents this morning, her mom especially. Mrs. Collins was funny and she liked to tease Amara. Amara was blushing the whole time her mom was talking to her and I couldn’t help but think how adorable Amara looked.
I noticed I was smiling to myself as I walked up to the black truck Amara’s dad was driving, and I quickly frowned, hoping no one saw. I needed to grab my bag from the back of it before I called for a ride home.
“I saw that,” her voice sent shivers down my spine as she mimicked my tone from earlier. “I can’t help but wonder what you were smiling about,” Amara said, her eyes gazing up at me.
I grabbed my bag from the back of the trunk and looked at her. “I was think about you.” I said, knowing that would catch her off guard.
She looked confused at first and then her cheeks grew red.
I laughed to myself. “I was actually thinking about how cute you are when you blush like that.” She turned redder and stuck her tongue out at me. I laughed again and she turned to walk away. I couldn’t help but smile.
I called one of my friends Carter, hoping he could give me a ride. He and I had only just met a few months ago when I moved here, but he had invited me to a few parties and had got to know him and a few other people really well.
“Hey, man. Can you do me a huge favor?” I asked, after Carter answered the phone.
“Yeah, anything. What’s up?” he asked.
“Can you pick me up at the end of the parade?”
“Yeah, for sure Jonathan. Give me five minutes.”
“Great. Thanks,” I said.
“Sure.” Carter said and hung up.
I hung up and locked my phone sliding it into my front pants pocket. I ran my fingers over my short hair and took a deep breath. I needed to find somewhere to sit under a tree nearby until Carter showed up.
Finally the parade was over. Thank God. As much as I thought parades were fun, they were always a relief to get over with. Mary was sometimes too much for me, not to mention all the other girls. Plus I had to deal with the boys who thought they were too good to be here and kept laughing at us the whole time. No doubt making fun of our stupid skirts and lame ass cheers. Typical East Land behavior. I barely even noticed anymore.
Talking to Jonathan after the parade made me smile inside. I had been thinking about him the whole time, and even messed up a few cheers because I was…preoccupied. I was talking to Ava about him a little, but she had a story to tell about her own “boy” she found. I tried to listen hard, but I was having difficulty focusing on her.
I was embarrassed after I talked to Jonathan. I never blush, but then again I never talk to boys. He told me I was cute when I blushed, which only made it worse. So I just walked away. I didn’t really feel like embarrassing myself more. I’m sure I’ll see him around school, at least I hope.
I walk around picking up random garbage and left over decorations that were left behind or blown away in the wind. About thirty minutes later we are ready to head home again. Everyone has left now, except my family and Ava and her family. Not going to lie, I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t get to see Jonathan one more time before he left. I just wanted to hear his voice again.
“Uhm Ava?” I asked. “When is the first day of school?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “Amara, seriously? Did you just ask me that question? I don’t even want to talk about it.”
“Well can you at least tell me?” I asked.
“Uhm I dunno. Like five days or something.” She paused and looked at me. “Why?”
“I was just wondering.”
“You hate school,” she accused.
“No I don’t! That’s you.”
I smiled at Ava. She was my best friend for a reason.
“Amara! Ava! Want to go out for a bite to eat?” My mom yelled. She was talking to my dad and Ava’s parents.
I looked at Ava and she didn’t look like she cared much.
“Yeah, sure.” I said.
“Okay, then. Let’s get in the car.” My dad said, climbing into the front seat of the truck.
Ava and I had the friendship that didn’t need words. We could tell if something was wrong with each other before they even spoke a word. I could tell Ava was angry by the way she was walking, that was how well we knew each other. Although, we were complete opposites when it came to everything, we somehow made it work.
Some people are actually jealous of our friendship, which I think is ridiculous, but I could care less. Ava and I are in it for the long run. We know more about each other that our parents do and tell each other almost everything.
Some people say we can actually talk telepathically, which we obviously can’t, but it sometimes seems like we can. We finish each other’s sentences and say things at the same time. She the only friend that I can say “Do you remember that one time we did that one thing?” and Ava will know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s how close we are.
Of course, we have had our rough times, but that only makes our friendship stronger. And recently, there hasn’t been one of those and we plan to keep it that way.
“So where should we go to eat?” Ava asked me, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“Somewhere good.” I said. Ava decided to ride with my family and my brother decided to ride with her brother and family.
“Well that’s a given.” She said to me and I smiled.
“I don’t care, really, I guess.” I said. “I’m actually feeling like some Mexican.”
“I was just going to say that,” Ava said, laughing. I just shook my head.
“Mom, can we have Mexican?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure, honey. That’s fine. I think Caldwell’s are okay with that.” My mom said turning around to look at me.
“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be find,” Ava spoke up.
“Okay! Mexican it is!” I said, throwing my hands in the air. Ava rolled her eyes at me. “You know you love me,” I said.
“Surre..” She said, trying to hide her smile.
God. I love my best friend.
Sitting in my room the night before my first day of junior year, my heart was racing. I really had to make sure to look cute tomorrow. I was going to be seeing a lot of new people because my classes were different this year. I mean, of course, I would see a lot of the same people, but you never know who you may find in one of the math classes. There were usually a couple of people from different grades in those classes. Everyone learns math at different rates and some people are just better than others.
I took another deep breath and looked in my closet one more time. I had to get this just perfect. My phone started ringing and I was glad for the distraction.
I looked at my screen before answering. Good. I really needed to talk to Ava right now. “Hey Ava.” I said, into the phone.
“Amara, I’m freaking out right now. I have no idea what I am going to wear tomorrow.” Ava’s voice sounded stressed.
“Okay, good. I’m not the only one.”
“Amara, are you trying to impress someone? You never have issues picking out what to wear!”
I blushed into the phone. I had a history of not telling Ava about my boy encounters, and I was going to keep it that way. That was just one thing I never talked to her about. “No, Ava. Just wanna look cute. Well, I guess, you never know who might be in our new classes.” I teased, trying to get her mind off of me.
“Oh, I know right?”
We talked for a while longer, and by the time we hung up, we had both figured out what we were going to wear. We had also decided to carpool and we figured out a time for me to pick her up before school tomorrow.
I laid down on my bed defeated. As much as I wanted the school year to start, I really wasn’t ready for the work load. Junior year is the hardest. College searches. Hard classes. Jobs Maybe a boyfriend. I already have a headache.
Sometime later, I actually managed to fall asleep. I don’t remember what time it was when I finally closed my eyes, but my phone is what woke me up the next morning.
“Amara! Are you up? Ready to go?” Ava’s voice was wide awake.
“What?” I asked. “What time is it?”
“You got thirty minutes, until I expect you in my driveway! Let’s go woman! Get out of bed!” She had way to much energy for me right now. Shit, she had too much energy for herself right now. She’s the one I am always trying to wake up in the morning. She is NOT a morning person.
“Okay,” I said and hung up.
I rolled back over slowly, and then realized I needed to take a shower so that I looked the best for the first day of school. What if I saw Jonathan?
I hopped into the shower and my mind started to wander off. Soon my stomach was filled with butterflies in anticipation for the day ahead. I should have gotten Jonathan’s number last week. What if I never see him? As of now, I would be happy with a glimpse of his sexy body from the opposite end of the hallway. I don’t even need to talk to him, although that would be a bonus. His laugh made me weak too. Now my heart was beating fast. I jumped out of the shower and got dressed.
I was blow drying my hair when my mom, scared me as she poked her head inside my bathroom. “Amara? You ready?”
“Jeez Mom!” I said, jumping. “You scared me! Yeah, I’m almost ready.” I said, turning back towards the mirror to triple check my make-up, not that I had much on.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Junior year. Here we go. Deep breath. I’ve got my favorite pair of jean shorts on and a simple pink V-neck shirt from Victoria’s Secret on. Nothing too special but I was revealing my long legs and toned skin. I pulled a cute necklace off my hook and grabbed my backpack. I was officially ready to go.
I had left my hair natural today. Letting my simple , but stunning, brown hair flow over my shoulders as I walked out the front door. I had grabbed a bagel and my keys as I passed through the kitchen, saying goodbye to my family.
“Love you!” I yelled, as I shut the front door.
Okay, now to Ava’s.
I drove the quick five minutes to Ava’s house and waited in the drive way.
“Hey,” Ava said, hopping into the car. “You ready?”
“Yup!” I said, backing out of her drive way.
We pulled up to the school parking lot ten minutes later. I parked my car and me and Ava joined all the other students trying to make it in the school.
“Look! It’s Jessica and Sam.” Ava said, pointing ahead of us.
I scanned the crowd but wasn’t really looking for our friends. I was looking for Jonathan.
I kept following Ava and soon found myself surrounded by all our friends, most of them from cheer.
One of my closer friends Kristy, was there. She was a senior and I was really going to miss her next year.
“Hey, girl.” Kristy said pulling me into a hug, when she saw me coming. “How are you today?”
“Good. You?” I asked, my mind was still somewhere else.
“Happy but sad. I’m really going to miss you next year girlie. I hope you know that,” she said to me, smiling.
“I’m going to miss you too. Don’t worry.” I said. “Listen, I got to go. I’ll see you later!” I gave Kristy a quick hug and then grabbed Ava’s arm.
“Come on! We can’t be late our first day.” I said, pulling her inside East Land High School. We walked to our lockers on the main floor and put our back packs away.
“Amara, what’s your first class?” Ava asked. We compared schedules and we didn’t have any classes together until fifth hour, but we did have lunch together, which was always good.
We soon parted ways and I went to take a seat in my first hour. History. Gross. I sat in the back, hoping to be able to nod off or preoccupy myself with something besides the Civil War and World War I.
Before I knew it, I was on my way to second hour. I talked to Ava for a few minutes in the hallways before making my way to my math class. I was disappointed that I hadn’t seen Jonathan yet, but maybe he would somehow end up in this class.
I turned the corner and walked into my next classroom, taking a quick survey to see if I knew anyone. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw Jonathan staring at me from the back corner of the class room. Some kid was turned around in his seat, talking to Jonathan, but Jonathan wasn’t paying attention to him, only me.
I blushed and smiled, making my way over to him. He smiled and nodded as if he knew I was going to ask him if I could sit by him. I set my stuff down and took a deep breath.
“Hey,” I said, but I came out as a whisper.
“Amara,” he said my name, so smoothly, I had to close my eyes. I felt like I needed to savor this moment. My stomach was in butterflies and I slowly opened my eyes. “How are you?” He asked me, his eyes boring into mine.
“Just trying to make it through the first day of school.” I smiled. “You?”
“Good. Better now.” He smiled and then looked to the front of the classroom. His friend had turned around too, and I realized the teacher had begun the lesson.
I smiled and tried to focus, but having Jonathan next to me for an hour was throwing me off and I was good at math.
About thirty minutes later our teacher was done teaching the lesson and had decided to give us the next fifteen minutes to work on our homework. Unfortunately for me, I was going to get nothing done. Not with Jonathan sitting next to me.
“So, are you going to introduce me to your hot friend?” A male voice was whispering to Jonathan, and without looking up, I knew it was the guy that had been trying to talk to him earlier.
I heard Jonathan laugh, making me smile, but I tried to look busy with my homework. Honestly though, I wasn’t even comprehending what was going on in this class. I felt like I was doing equations with letters instead of numbers.
“Hey, Amara.” Jonathan’s hand brushed my shoulder, sending me nerves on a spiral. I looked up at his beautiful eyes and smiled. “This is Carter. I met him earlier this summer. Carter this is Amara.” Jonathan was looking between me and Carter.
“Hey,” Carter said, his voice sounded like velvet. What was I getting myself into?
“Hey,” I said, staring at him. He was beautiful. His eyes were a dark sea green, matching the shirt he was wearing perfectly. He had tousled sand colored hair that fell perfectly on his head, making him look really sexy. Why was I suddenly meeting all these handsome men?? Carter’s smile did something for me too. I don’t know what it is, but I felt complete. Like I was missing something before, but now I’m not. Right then, I knew I was going to be friends with Carter.
“So, Amara, you’re a junior right?” Carter’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Yeah, I am.” I said, sounding really stupid.
“So you must be pretty smart, right?” Carter said, smiling at me.
“Yeah, I guess?” I said, not sure what he was getting at.
“Good. I’m not going to hesitate to ask you for some help later. I’m sure I’ll need it.” Carter winked at me and then laughed. I couldn’t help but blush as I rolled my eyes.
“I might need help too,” Jonathan finally spoke up. “We might just have to get together and, uhm, study up.” He said, trailing off towards the end of his sentence.
“Do you expect me to believe the lies you guys are feeding me?” I asked. “I mean clearly you guys are smart enough to be in a Calculus class. I really don’t think you will need any extra help.” I said, putting my stuff away and anticipating the bell.
“Well, you could just play along,” Cater suggested as the bell rang. I stood up and both guys were looking at me for an answer. Both their beautiful eyes checking me out too.
“We’ll see.” I said, leaving the classroom, trying to figure out how I was going to make it through the rest of the day.
The moment Amara stepped into my classroom second hour I knew two things. One, my day had just gotten 100% better and two, I was going to struggle in this class. Not just because I think that Calculus was going to be hard, but because I have this beautiful girl sitting next me.
I regretted introducing Amara to Carter as soon as I did. Carter always has his way of reeling girls in. Not to say that I don’t do the same, but there was something I saw between them that was weird. But I guess I can’t really say much. It’s not like I know her that well anyways. I was just glad to have her in a class.
“Dude, how did you know Amara?” Carter asked. He hasn’t stopped talking about her.
“I met her a couple weekends ago. At the parade. She’s a cheerleader.” I replied with no emotion. Cater and I were walking to lunch together after third hour.
“Oh, man. She’s cute. Did you see her smile?”
I smiled to myself. Is he for real? “Yeah, man. I did.” I laughed and then shut Carter out. I had had enough of his questions.
I sat down at the lunch table with Carter and some of the other guys I had met earlier over the summer. I needed to get Amara’s number. How was that going to work?
A few girls sat down at our table a couple minutes later and I realized I recognized a few of them from one of the parties I went to. This girl Kristy was one of them. She was beautiful too. Whenever she was around, I couldn’t take my eyes away from her. Tall with blonde hair. Baby blue eyes pulled me in whenever I talked to her, which sadly, was only a couple times. I should change that.
I scooted over when I saw her look at me and she took the hint, setting her bag down on the table space next to me.
“Hey, you. You were at one of Carter’s parties over the summer right?” Kristy’s sweet scent washed over me as she sat down.
I inhaled her scent and nodded my head. “Kristy, right?” I asked, hoping I was right.
She smiled and I knew I was right. “Surprised you remembered,” She said. I winked at her.
“Jonathan, how have you been doing. How’s your first day at East Land going?” One of Carter’s friends was asking me the question, I don’t remember his name, but I answered and took another bite of my sandwich.
Before moving here, I wasn’t too excited about switching schools senior year, but so far the decision has paid off. Who would have known there would be so many beautiful girls here?
I think I have seen Amara before. She’s friends with Kristy, I believe, through cheer. I was glad I had a class with Amara this year. I have always noticed her talking to Kristy at the football games, that I have gone to, and always wondered what she was like, and now I knew. Utterly wonderful. She was beautiful, sexy, smart. She had the prettiest eyes that lit up when she smiled. I mean everything about her was pretty. The most adorable thing was when she blushed. She had put butterflies in my stomach during second hour when she smiled.
Jonathan seemed to have something going on with her though. I couldn’t quite pin it down, but I was going to find out. I know it wasn’t hard to have a soft spot for Amara, but it wasn’t like he owned her. He was totally blowing me off when I was asking him questions about her. He was acting possessive and it was creeping me out. I would have to have a talk with him later, for sure.
The rest of my day went easy and uneventful. I was walking out to my car when I saw Kristy talking to someone by the front doors.
Me and Kristy were best friends. Always have been, always will be. We met in junior high and we just clicked, right away. Nothing has every come between us either, and we can talk to each other about anything. I mean, of course she still has her girlfriends that she goes shopping with and everything, and I still have my bros, but all in all we have each other’s back.
I walked up behind her and tickled her waist, making her squirm. “Carter! Stop!” I laughed as she pushed me away from her. I threw her arm over her shoulder, in a friendly way, and focused on who she has been talking to. I met Amara’s eyes and was immediately sucked into them, never wanting to look away.
“Hey, Amara, how was the rest of your day?” I finally managed to ask, trying to focus on something besides her eyes.
“Wait you two know each other?” Kristy asked, pulling away from me. She hadn’t even let Amara answer my question.
“Yeah, we have Calculus together,” Amara explained, her voice so sweet.
“Oh, well that’s cool! You guys should become good friends!” Kristy exclaimed and jumped up and down. I laughed, Kristy just had one of those personalities.
“Oh, we will. Don’t you worry about that.” I winked at Amara and she blushed, making me want to go over and kiss her right there. I swallowed and looked back towards Kristy. “Hey, Kristy. I want to have a party this weekend. Can Amara come over too?” I looked at Amara and she just smiled.
“Yeah, of course! That would be fun. But we aren’t going to corrupt my baby, Okay?” Kristy asked, hugging Amara. God. I wish I was doing that right now.
“Kristy, it’s fine. I don’t care.” Amara said, rolling her eyes.
“No, I’m serious. You need to be a good child, not like me.” Kristy said.
“Fine.” Amara said, but she was looking at me smiling. I knew she was just saying that so that Kristy would shut up.
“Okay, well, I’m going to go. I’ll talk to you later Kristy. I’ll give you details for the weekend and you can give them to Amara.” I said, walking away.
“Okay, sounds good.” Kristy said.
“Bye ladies!” I said, waving and turning around at the same time.
“Bye Carter!” They both said, making me smile. I wonder what Jonathan was going to this about this.
I was so glad to finally be home. I had had cheer practice for two hours after school, and I couldn’t really concentrate. My first day of school had gone totally different than I thought. Jonathan was in one of my classes. I had met his best friend Carter and been invited to a party! Good thing Ava was out of town this weekend. I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling like I was ditching her.
The only homework I had tonight was math. Go figure. I guess this was going to become a habit. I was never going to get anything done in that class. It was hard enough to pay attention during the lecture.
So, when Jonathan introduced me to Carter, I literally thought I was dreaming. I mean is it possible to have the two hottest guys I’ve ever met in the same class as me? It was ridiculous.
I was so happy after math that I was early to third hour because of how fast I was walking. Unfortunately we had had assigned seats in that that class, and I was stuck next to Parker Evans. A hockey player who had treated me like shit my freshmen year. I mean yeah, he was cute and everything, but he never treated me right. Ava kept telling me we were in love and how we were going to get married someday, but I wasn’t seeing it. Seriously. Who tells their future “wife” to f*ck off three times a day. Not my husband.
The rest of my night was uneventful, not that they usually were. I called Ava, and talked to her for a little bit, before eating dinner.
My brother, Alex, had told me he had a good day, which was good. He switched schools this year and I was worried he was going to have a rough time, but he spent the whole dinner telling me all about his new friends. I was happy for him.
After dinner Alex and I watched a movie before he went to bed, and I was so exhausted I followed him to bed twenty minutes later. I needed my beauty rest for tomorrow. Who knew what I was going to get into?
Finally the weekend had come. I was walking out to my car with Ava when Kristy skipped up to us.
“Hey guys! Happy Friday!” Kristy exclaimed, jumping up and down.
Ava turned to me, ignoring Kristy. “I forgot to tell you, my family decided to leave early this weekend, so I can’t do anything tonight.”
I frowned. I was sort of looking forward to making plans with Ava, Sam, and Jessica tonight. I guess we will have to figure something out for next weekend instead.
“It’s okay. I think my family was going out to dinner anyways.” I said.
“Okay, sorry about that.”
“It’s no big deal.” I said, smiling.
Kristy was glowing behind Ava. Why was she in such a good mood? She looked like she was about to burst with excitement.
“What is it Kristy?” I asked.
“Well there’s a party tonight, if you wanna go,” she blurted out, winking at me.
Suddenly, butterflies filled my stomach and my eyes went wide. I had totally forgotten about Carter’s party! Yes! This means I can go now!
“Oh, yeah! Sure, that’s what I can do!” I said, trying to hide my excitement.
“Sounds like fun!” Ava said, smiling. I’m sure she was disappointed she couldn’t go, but we aren’t normal partiers anyways.
“Okay, I gotta go, I’ll call you later Amara. I can drive you over there,” Kristy said, waving and walking the opposite way.
“Bye Kristy, sounds good!” I said, walking with Ava to my car.
Here I was again, sitting in front of my closet, trying to figure out what to wear. I wanted to look good tonight. Carter was going to be there which means Jonathan probably will be too.
Kristy had called shortly after I dropped Ava off. Kristy said she was going to pick me up around 6:00pm, so I had about an hour.
I took another shower when I got home, so I still had wet hair and a towel around me, staring at my closet. I was getting frustrated so I decided to work on my hair and make-up, and about twenty minutes my hair was slightly curled and I had some shimmer eye shadow, making my eyes shine more than usual. I tried not to over-do my makeup. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard.
I looked in my closet one last time and found the perfect clothes for a party. I grabbed my darkest skinny jeans and light blue top. The shirt flowed easily over my body and had some sequins on it, making marks on the wall when lights hit them. I smiled just thinking about tonight. I grabbed my phone, stuck it in my butt pocket, and slid on some cute flats. Okay, ready to go. I looked at the clock. Ten minutes to spare.
I checked myself in the mirror, brushed my teeth, and put some clear lip gloss on. Okay, finally ready. My phone started ringing.
“Hello?” I asked into the phone.
“Come on! Let’s go party!” Kristy’s voice, screamed into the phone.
I laughed and said, “Okay, Kristy, I’m coming.” I walked downstairs.
“Mom! I’m leaving!” I yelled, not sure where she was.
“Okay, honey! Have fun! Keep in touch please,” my mom’s voice rang out from somewhere in the house.
“Will do!” I yelled and walked out the front door. I jumped into Kristy’s car so excited for the night. “Hey,” I said.
“Amara! You look so good! I’m going to have to keep an eye on you,” Kristy said, backing out of the driveway.
“No, Kristy. Please, I just want to have fun tonight. I really need this.” I pleaded, smiling at her.
She groaned. “Fine. Okay. I guess I’ll let you have some fun tonight. But be safe!!”
“Kristy!! I’m not planning on having sex!” I exclaimed.
“Well you never know. These are senior boys, hun. You gotta be smart.”
“Okay, okay.” I said.
The drive to Carter’s house was relatively short. He lived about fifteen minutes away from my house and the party was already busy when we got there. Kristy didn’t want to be the first ones here, so we arrived a little late.
Carter’s house wasn’t too big. About the size of mine, but he had much more space for cars than I did. He lived down a long road and had a lot of open grass area to park cars.
When Kristy and I got out of the car, a few guys around us, whistled. I smiled to myself. I was going to have fun tonight. I’m usually not a drinker. I’ve actually never had anything alcoholic before, so I wasn’t going to go too overboard tonight, but you never know.
I followed Kristy to the front of the house and we walked in the front door. We walked deeper into the house, pushing our way through the people that were already there. There was music blasting and I could barely hear anything. I laughed, both nervous and excited.
“Kristy!!” I heard someone yell. I turned around and saw a few guys walking our way. She smiled a waved.
“Hey, guys. How are you?” She asked, totally flirting.
“Pretty good,” One said, looking towards me.
“Oh!” Kristy, spoke up. “This is Amara. She’s a friend of mine and Carter’s.”
“Hey, I’m Liam. This is Tom and Alex.” His smile was genuine and I had no choice but to smile back. He was cute. He had short, dark hair and was slightly taller than me.
“Hey,” I said, smiling. “So, how do you know Carter?” I asked Liam, as Kristy and the other two boys left, walking towards the kitchen.
“Oh, we used to go to school together,” He said.
“Where do you go to school now?” I asked, curious.
Woodland High School was the other main high school in Woodland, where I lived. East Land High School was built many years later, because Woodland was overflowing with students. Where you lived determined where you attend school, so Liam and Carter were obviously in different school zones.
“I assume you go to East Land then?”
“Yeah, I do,” I said, nodding my head.
“Lucky. That school is so nice.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” I smiled and looked behind Liam to see Carter coming our way.
“Hey, Liam! Talking to my girl Amara are you?” Carter asked Liam, as he draped his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way.
“I was. How are you?” Liam asked.
“Pretty good! You?” Carter asked.
“Good! You throw a nice party!”
“Thanks man! Glad you could come.”
Liam smiled and waved to someone behind me. “Well, I’ll talk to you guys later,” Liam said, and walked towards the person he waved to.
With Carter’s arm around me, it was pretty hard to focus on what was going on around me. His arm felt so nice there, and I wanted him to keep it there forever. I leaned into him and he hugged me closer.
“Come on. I want you to meet some people.” Carter whispered into my ear, his breath making me shiver.
He pulled me through the crowd and he stopped every now and then, introducing me to a few of his guy friends. Most of them went to Woodland, so I had never met them, and damn, most of them were so hot. I wish I went to Woodland.
About an hour later Kristy came up to me and Carter. Carter and I were sitting around the bar in his basement. I had told him I would drink a beer or something, but he wouldn’t let me drink, which was probably best. He decided not to drink any tonight either, which made me feel better.
“Amara, come on let’s go.” Kristy said.
“What?” I asked.
“I said, we are leaving.”
“No, I want to stay here.” I said, confused. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, I just thought you might want to go home. You’ve been here a while.”
“I’m just getting started!” I winked at Carter, laughing,
“Well, how are you going to get home if I leave?” Kristy asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I said, disappointed.
“I can bring you home, Amara,” Carter said, putting his arm around me.
“Are you sure?” I asked him.
“Yeah, for sure. If you want to stay, you can stay.”
“Okay! Thanks.” I said, kissing his cheek.
“You sure Carter?” Kristy spoke up.
“Yeah, it’s no big deal.” Carter ensured.
“Okay, well then I’m going to leave. Bye Amara! Remember what I told you.” She smiled and then left.
I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself.
“What was she talking about?” Carter asked, poking my side.
I laughed, “Oh, nothing.” I stood up, “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”
“Why?” He asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him.
“I dunno. I’m bored with down here. Let’s go mingle upstairs.” I said, giving him a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes.
“Well, if you do that, I have no choice.” He smiled and stood up.
We walked upstairs and the first person I saw was Jonathan. I bet that is why Carter didn’t want to come up here. He wanted to keep me to himself.
I looked back at Carter and his eyes found Jonathan. He tightened his jaw and looked back at me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” He said, shaking his head.
“Well, obviously something’s wrong.” I said, and he pulled me into the living room, where a lot of people were dancing.
He worked his way to the middle, as if to hide me. He pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing my back against his rock hard abs. I moved my hips back and forth and his arm around me tightened.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” I said, leaning back so he could hear me.
“I just want to have you to myself for a little bit longer. I’ve been having fun with you,” He said into my ear, his breath washing over me making shivers crawl down my spine. I smiled and kept dancing and soon, part of me wanted to turn around and kiss Carter, right there. But I’ve never kissed a boy and I’m not sure if Carter would want me to.
I few minutes later, I felt Carter stiffen behind me. I looked up and saw Jonathan coming towards us. Carter stopped dancing and took my hand, walking us over to Jonathan. I squeezed his hand gently and he looked back to smile at me.
“Hey guys,” Jonathan said, smiling at me.
“Hi Jonathan,” I said, letting go of Carter’s hand. Jonathan still made my heart skip a beat. His smile was so amazing I couldn’t stop smiling, and his eyes kept pulling me in. I couldn’t stop staring.
“You having fun Amara?” Jonathan asked.
I blinked a couple times and smiled. “Yeah! Carter has introduced me to a bunch of people.”
“Well that’s good. Glad you’re having fun.” Jonathan smiled. “Amara, do you want to dance with me?” He asked.
I’m pretty sure I blushed and I nodded my head. I felt bad for leaving Carter, but I had been with him all night so far.
Jonathan took my hand and pulled me to the middle of the dance floor. He pulled me against him and I felt secure. His hands were on my hips as a moved them back and forth. I could tell he was enjoying himself, because he was breathing heavy in my ear and he was holding me close to him, like he was never going to let go.
“You look good tonight, Amara,” He said to me over the music. I blushed and smiled to myself, glad he couldn’t see me.
“Thanks,” I managed to get out.
I can’t say that I’m mad, because I had my chance. I had spent most of my time with Amara tonight, and I had the most fun I’ve had in a while and I wasn’t even drinking. I told myself not to because I didn’t want Amara to drink too. It’s better for her.
I was surprised that Kristy left without Amara. Kristy seemed really protective of Amara , so something must have gone wrong for her to be that upset. But I guess Amara was with me, so that probably made it better for her.
Of course, now Jonathan’s with her. I suppose I should make sure that he doesn’t manage to do something stupid.
I mean, Jonathan is a good guy, one of my best friends and we’ve only known each other for a few months, but still. For some reason , I feel like I need to make sure Amara is okay, especially with him. I feel like he’d be the one to take advantage of her. I just know he’s that type of guy. I see the way he watches Kristy even. It’s like he’s never happy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he hooks up with a girl tonight, even after he’s been hanging with Amara.
Maybe I should really go make sure she’s okay.
I started walking towards where I last saw them, dancing in the living room. It reminded me of when I had danced with her there earlier. I had enjoyed that so much. She was an amazing dancer. She was driving me crazy and it had been so hard for me not to push her farther. I just enjoy holding her close to me. It felt right.
I eventually pushed through the people there. Even though people were starting to leave, it was still busy. I was going to have a lot of work to do tomorrow.
“Carter!” I heard my name called and stopped to look around. I saw Liam and waved.
“Hey Liam.” I smiled. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I am leaving soon. I guess it’s raining pretty hard, and people are having a hard time seeing. Supposed to get worse too.” Liam said.
“Really?” I looked out the nearest window. It was hard to see because it was dark, but I believed Liam. “Okay, well drive safe, man.” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling his into a chest bump hug, that all us guys do.
“Will do. Thanks for the party too.” Liam said.
“Anytime!” I said, as Liam turned to leave.
So it’s raining. Maybe I should get Amara home now. Before it gets worse. I started walking towards my living room again.
“Jonathan!” I yelled, he was walking with Amara towards the basement.
He didn’t hear me so I thought I would meet them at the basement door.
“Amara,” I said, getting her attention.
“Hey Carter!” She said, smiling. I ignored the butterflies in my stomach and the urge to kiss her.
“Liam just told me that it’s raining pretty hard, making it hard to see.” I said, hoping she would get the hint that I need to take her home, even though I really didn’t want to.
“Oh, so you probably want to take me home then right?” she asked, still smiling.
“I really don’t want to. I want you to stay, but I need to get you home safe.” I said, hoping she’d understand.
“Carter, you have a lot going on here, why don’t you let me take her?” Jonathan spoke up, and I tried hard not to punch him. “I mean, it would just be easier for you. And safer too. You don’t need to drive all the way to her house and then come all the way back. I can just drop her off on my way home.”
As much as I hated to admit it, I knew Jonathan was right.
I nodded me head. “Yeah, I guess that’s safer.” I said. “Thanks for looking out for her. Kristy left her behind earlier and wanted me to make sure she’s having fun and stuff. So thanks.” I said, feeling like a fool.
“Anytime. I’ll make sure she’s home safe, for Kristy. I wouldn’t want her mad at me.” Jonathan said, smirking.
I just shook my head laughing. “Alright you guys, well thanks for coming.” I said.
“We will definitely have to do this again sometime,” Jonathan said. “I had fun.”
“I wouldn’t mind smaller group of people,” Amara said, speaking up. She winked at us and I looked at Jonathan.
He looked back and me and we both smiled. “I might have to take you up on that Amara,” I said, pulling her into a hug.
“Alright, well just let me know!” She said, laughing. Her laugh made my knees weak. Why did she have the effect on me? It was hard, but I let her pull away from my body.
“Keep me in the loop about this ‘party’ we are going to have,” Jonathan said. “I want to be there.”
“For sure, man. And thanks for bringing her home too.” I said, fist bumping him.
He smiled back and then Amara and him left, leaving me wishing I had stolen a kiss from the beautiful girl Jonathan was leaving with.
In the end, I was glad I went to the party. I had heard Carter talking about it, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. I knew hot girls were going to be there and I don’t mind drinking and having fun, but I just didn’t feel up to it. Carter had mentioned Amara coming to his party earlier in the day, which became the only reason for me to go. I just wanted to see her outside of school. See what she was like.
In the end, I had had a ton of fun. Amara was just a fun girl to be around and she didn’t have to be drunk either. Sometimes the girls that throw themselves at me are drunker that I can imagine and I hook up with them just because they make me laugh. Drunk girls are the funniest to be around.
But tonight, no drinking for me. I didn’t even feel the need to have a drink, which was weird for me. Usually, it’s the first thing I do. But for Amara’s sake, I didn’t. I didn’t want to pressure into drinking, so I just stayed away from it.
When I first arrived at the party, I ran into Kristy. I had asked her if Amara had come with her, and she started to get all defensive. I didn’t know what I did, so I just sort of let it go. But she kept telling me not to talk to her, and all this random shit.
So I asked her what was wrong and she just told me that Amara was special, and not to hurt her. She told me Amara had never really had a boyfriend before and hadn’t been kissed. This really surprised me. Amara was beautiful, and I’m sure that she could get any boy to kiss her if she really wanted.
All night I was thinking about kissing her, especially knowing she had never been kissed. It made me want to do it more, but I wanted to respect her, for now.
Kristy must have been pretty mad at me, because according to Carter, she had stomped off, leaving Amara. I wonder how that worked out. I bet Kristy would be pissed if she knew I was bringing her home.
We were in the car now, Amara and I. The roads weren’t too bad, but I can see why Carter had wanted me to get her home. I looked over to where she was sitting next to me in my car. She looked deep in thought.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked her, curious.
She looked over at me, and smiled. “Nothing really. I had a really good time tonight.” She said.
“Me too.” I said, glad I was driving her home.
I was trying hard not to pull the car over and kiss her, but I knew I just had to focus on getting her home.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked me, her eyes pleading for an answer.
I thought for a moment. “I was thinking about you,” I finally said.
“What about me?” She asked.
“You’re a good dancer. Did I tell you that? I wish we never stopped.” I looked over to her and she was blushing, and she knew it. “I love making you do that.” I said, smiling at her.
She brought her hands up to her cheeks, as if that would really help. I grabbed one of her hands and pulled her hand away. I kept a hold of her hand, never wanting to let it go. Her hand was so soft and small. It made me think of when she touched my face that day at the parade. “I told you, you’re cute when you blush.” I said, to her.
“I know, but still. It’s annoying,” she said.
“Whatever you say,” I said, rolling my eyes. I stole a glance her way and caught her sticking her tongue out at me.
“So, you going to tell me where you live? Or do you expect me to know?” I asked her.
She laughed and directed me to her house. Soon after that, I pulled into her driveway.
“You know, I live just over there,” I said, pointing out her window. We were less than a mile away from me house.
“Really?” She asked and I nodded my head. She smiled at me and I winked back at her, but she just rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for the ride Jonathan.” She said, opening her door.
“Anytime Amara,” I said, wishing she could stay with me forever. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.” She said, looking back at me. “Seeya later,” She said, and I waved, before she shut my door.
God. I should have kissed her. Now, I wasn’t going to get her out of my head. I pulled away from her house shaking my head. My next job was to get her number. That would make everything better.
I opened my front door and took my shoes off.
“Amara, honey? Did you have fun?” My dad’s voice was in a whisper.
I looked up the stairs and saw him standing there in his pajamas.
“Yes, daddy, I did.” I said, walking towards him.
“Good. Glad you had fun.”
I gave him a hug. “Goodnight daddy.”
“Goodnight sweet heart. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I walked to my room and quickly shed my clothes, crawling into bed with a bra and underwear on. Ugh. I was tired. I wish tonight hadn’t ended. I had had so much fun with Carter and Jonathan. I glanced at my clock. 1:00am. No wonder I was so tired. I had been partying for a while. I laughed to myself.
I knew Carter was jealous because Jonathan took me home, and I felt bad, but Jonathan was right, it was safer. I hope that these guys don’t fight over me like that all the time. I don’t know who I would choose. They are both sexy and fun to be around.
I wish I was more ‘out there.’ Maybe I would have gotten my first kiss. I knew it was coming soon. I was just tired of waiting for it. I guess I sort of wanted to get it over with, but not regret it either. So I guess I did have to be smart about it too.
I closed my eyes and let my mind wander. I could still feel Carter’s hands on my body as we danced and I could feel the tingling in my hand from where Jonathan had held it on the way home.
I just couldn’t get them out of my head. Carter and Jonathan were both so beautiful; I didn’t know what to do. After thinking about my night longer and having butterflies invade my stomach, I soon drifted off to sleep, hoping for good dreams.
The rest of the weekend was boring compared to Friday night. I talked to Ava a little bit, but she was usually busy doing something while she was out of town. I mostly worked on homework. I know, it sounds stupid, but I had a lot of math to do… I wonder why that is.
It may also sound weird that I was actually excited to go to school on Monday. Of course, I was actually excited to go to math.
When second hour finally came around, I could barely control myself, I was so excited. I walked into class and immediately found Jonathan’s eyes in the back of the room, staring at me. He smiled and I smiled back as I made way over to him.
“Hey Amara,” Jonathan said, giving me the chills. His voice was so sweet.
“Hi,” I replied, setting my books down on the desk next to him. “How was the rest of your weekend?” I asked.
“Boring, compared to Friday night.” He winked at me and I couldn’t help but blush as my stomach flipped.
“I had fun too. I wish that night never ended.” I said, completely serious.
“We can always do something like that again, just you and me.” He smiled, genuinely.
I just smiled back, not sure what to say. I was still uneasy about Jonathan. I know he was completely gorgeous, but I’ve heard things about him that make me question him. I guess at his old school he was a complete player and slept around with anyone he could lay his hands on. That reputation at East Land hasn’t developed yet, but I don’t want to be one of his “girls.”
“Amara,” Carter said, finally speaking up. I turned to look at him, smiling. I’ve heard nothing but good about Carter. I already trust him more. “I’m really glad you came on Friday. I had an amazing night with you.”
I blushed once again. This was just sort of getting awkward. “Thanks for having me over. It was a great party.” I said.
Jonathan was about to say something when the teacher started talking.
“Class, we are going to have a test tomorrow, but it won’t be graded. I just want to see where you are in your skills before the actual lessons begin. So today, I am going to give you work time for the hour. Hopefully you can use this time to your advantage and study a little bit on the stuff you all learned last year.” My teacher kept talking, but I had stopped listening after ‘work time for the hour.’ That means talking to Jonathan and Carter. I smiled to myself.
“I’m not going to get anything done.” I told myself out loud.
“Why not?” Jonathan asked.
“I never get anything done with you two sitting next to me.” I said, closing my book and taking out my cell phone.
“You don’t have to sit with us,” Carter said, jokingly.
“But, I want to.” I said, knowing that I was contradicting myself. “I study better when I’m alone anyways.”
“Well, okay then.” Jonathan said. “Hey, Amara, what are you doing after school?”
I looked at Jonathan. “I have cheer practice until 5:00pm, tonight. Why?”
“I have football until 5:30. Do you want to go do something after?” Jonathan asked, and I could tell he was nervous.
“Sure!” I said, nervous and excited.
Jonathan looked relieved and let out a nervous sigh. “Great. I can pick you up around 8:00pm if you want.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
I had forgotten Carter was sitting with us until he spoke up. “Just don’t do anything stupid,” he said under his breath.
I gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head, telling me to let it go. Maybe I’ll talk to him later about it. I already knew that Kristy didn’t really like Jonathan, but there had to be something good about him.
“Amara, can I have your number then?” Jonathan asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I nodded and told him my number. I was trying not to laugh as he typed it into his phone, because I noticed Carter writing it down a his math assignment. Way to be secretive about it, I thought to myself. I guess that worked out well.
The rest of math was sort of awkward after that. Carter didn’t really say anything and Jonathan was actually working on his math assignment. I could feel the tension between the two boys and I was actually looking forward to the end of this class.
When the bell finally rang I rushed out of the classroom and ran into Kristy.
“Hey Amara! How is your day going?” She asked.
“Uhh, sort of interesting actually.” I said, looking behind me to see Jonathan and Carter walking opposite ways. They were definitely mad at each other.
“Are they both in your class?” Kristy asked, following my gaze.
“Huh, interesting. They both seem to like you. Got to be careful, hun. I don’t want them to hurt you. They’re senior boys. I swear to you, they only want one thing.”
I kept quiet, not wanting to tell her that I was hanging out with Jonathan tonight. After the way she apparently acted on Friday night, I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy to hear about that. I bet Carter will say something to her though.
The rest of the school day was slow and boring and cheer was even worse. I was excited about hanging out with Jonathan, just me and him. I wonder what we were going to do.
It was almost 8:00pm when my phone vibrated and I had a text from an unknown number.
Amara, leaving now. See u in a few.
I was just going to assume the text was from Jonathan. I smiled to myself and told my mom I was leaving. I opened my front door and sat on my front porch to wait.
About ten minutes later, I could see someone walking down the street, and I could tell it was Jonathan. I guess he decided to walk to my house.
“Amara!” He said, and I stood up.
“Jonathan, what are you doing?” I asked.
“I thought we could go for a walk, maybe find a spot to sit and watch the sky and stars.”
I smiled as I walked towards Jonathan. “Sounds good to me,” I said.
The sun had just set and I knew it would be getting darker soon. When I finally got close enough to see Jonathan, the only thing I could see clearly, were his eyes. I smiled, as my heart sped up. Was I ready for this?
“Hey there,” he said, grabbing my hand.
“Hi,” I said, barely able to breath. What was I getting myself into.
“Where should we go?” He asked. “What about that little park area up the street?”
“Sounds good to me,” I said, as we started walking.
My hand felt completely normal in his. It fit perfectly and I never wanted to let go. I kept wrapping his fingers tighter around me and his thumb was constantly moving on mine. Comforting me and giving me the chills.
When we finally got to the park, he found a nice grassy area and we sat laid down, looking at the stars.
Jonathan pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, never wanting to let go. He kept moving his hand on my back, a constant reminder he was there, holding me tight.
We made small talk, learning more and more about each other. We watched the clouds move across the sky, trying to make them into objects and pointing them out to each other.
Awhile later, I saw a shooting star light up across the sky, and butterflies invaded my stomach.
“Amara, did you see that?” Jonathan asked, pointing to the sky.
“Mmhmm,” I said. “The shooting star?”
“Yeah, wasn’t it cool?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I pulled myself closer to him, wanting him to never let go of me. He held me tight and kept me warm. I never wanted this night to end.
We laid there for a while, in our own thoughts, when finally Jonathan adjusted so he was laying over me, and I knew he was going to kiss me.
“Amara, I know I barely know you, but I can’t take it any longer. Kiss me, please.”
I was really nervous. Scared to mess up, but I tugged on Jonathan’s shirt, pulling him towards me. He smiled just as his lips touched mine and then my thoughts were numb.
Jonathan’s lips were so gentle, so sweet against mine. He laid his body on top of mine, holding my hands above my head, pinning them to the grass beneath me.
He sucked on my lip gently, and I could feel his tongue trying to reach mine. I pulled my hands out from beneath his and locked them around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hand moved down my leg, grabbing my ass.
I let his tongue slip into my mouth and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I had a tingling sensation going through my body as his tongue danced with mine.
I needed some air so I pulled away slightly and Jonathan moved down to my neck. I could feel him sucking my skin gently and I knew he was going to leave a mark, but at that point I didn’t even care.
I pulled his head back up to mine, and my lips found his once again. His tongue was instantly in my mouth, and I felt like I couldn’t control myself anymore. I never wanted this moment to end. This feeling was amazing, and I was kissing Jonathan.
Jonathan pulled away, sitting up and straddling my body. He smiled down at me and I smiled back. His hands found my hips, and he touched my bare skin, where my shirt had rode up. He bent down slowly, and kissed my bare stomach, sending waves of excitement through my body. He moved up, kissing my chest and then my nose, ever so gently. Stopping real quick to peck my lips.
His hands felt like fire on my body, and I never wanted his hands to leave. I wanted to pull him back on top of me, and kiss him until I couldn’t breathe anymore.
“Amara, you are so sexy,” he whispered, kissing my lips one last time. I blushed, glad that he couldn’t see me completely.
Jonathan laid down next to me again, and pulled me in close, his hand resting on my bare skin at my hip. We laid there in silence for a while.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Jonathan said.
I rested my chin on his chest and thought, looking into his beautiful eyes.
“I’m thinking about how that was my first kiss, and how I will remember it forever.” I said, feeling like a little kid.
He just smiled and I laid my head back down.
We watched the moon rise higher in the sky, and I thought about how I should probably get back home soon, but I didn’t want to leave.
“Jonathan,” I said. “What time is it?”
He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. “Almost 10:00pm.” He said. “We should probably get you home, huh?”
“Unfortunately, yeah.” I said, “But,” I whispered, slowly rolling on top of him.
I touched my lips to his slowly, but he pulled me closer to him and our lips met. I smiled against him, and enjoyed the feeling of his hands on me and his lips touching mine. My heart was pounding in my chest and I pulled him closer to me, never wanting to let go.
When I finally pulled away, he whimpered, wanting more, but I knew I needed to get home. He stood up and he pulled me up gently afterward, straight into a hug. He pulled me in tight to him, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his. His hands were around my waist and moving down, grabbing my ass, but I didn’t even care. His touch was sending shivers through my body. I nuzzled my head into his neck and breathed in his scent, never wanting to forget anything about this night. I never wanted this night to end, and I knew that he didn’t either.
When I finally pulled away, Jonathan grabbed my hand and we began walking back towards my house.
“Amara, we are going to do this again sometime. I had fun,” Jonathan said, as my house came into view.
“Yeah, I agree.” I said, squeezing his hand.
He looked over and smiled at me, and I smiled back wanting to turn around and go back and just have him hold me. I had felt different with him. I felt safe and I knew that I could trust him now.
When we reached the bottom of my driveway, I turned to him, not wanting to say goodbye.
“How about one more goodnight kiss.” He said, smirking.
I leaned in and kissed him gently, but he pulled me closer and our lips danced around each other’s. I pulled away unwillingly, and I could tell that Jonathan could have kept going. He groaned quietly and pouted, but I kissed his cheek and turned to go.
“Bye, Amara.” He said, letting go of my hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I turned around. “Bye Jonathan. See you,” I said, and smiled, trying to figure out if tomorrow was going to me awkward or not.
Walking away from her house, I knew that I was never going to forget that night. I didn’t really know what I was going to do with Amara, when I invited her out tonight, but I knew I was going to steal her first kiss. I couldn’t handle myself anymore.
She was just too precious to leave her without a kiss.
The night went perfect, and damn she is an amazing kisser. I loved the feeling of her soft lips against mine and her tongue was so sweet. Her body was so hot and I felt like I needed to be careful with her, scared she was going to break. Her skin was like silk and when her shirt rode up I couldn’t help my let my fingers linger there for the rest of the night. Everything about her was perfect. I never wanted to let her go. There was just something about her that made me never want to leave her alone. She never left my mind and my heart started beating fast whenever I thought about her.
I could have kissed her forever, if we had that time. Two hours was not enough time with her. I needed two years.
Out of all the other girls I have been with, Amara was one of the best experiences, and all we did was kiss. I can’t imagine what she’s like in bed. That thought sent my body on a whirlwind, and I had to try to calm my body down. I would never be able to look at Amara again without thinking about tonight. How was I going to be able to control myself.
When I asked her to kiss me I could tell she wanted to, but was scared. I wonder what she would have been scared of. She was completely perfect. Everything about her.
When I finally managed to make it home, I texted her. Maybe that would help me get her off my mind.
Thanks for tonight. So sexy. See u later.
I couldn’t help by smile whenever I thought about her. God. What is wrong with me?
I made it to my room and crawled into bed, replaying the night in my head over and over again, wishing it never stopped.
When I woke up the next morning, I was scared to see Jonathan during math. I knew that it was going to be awkward, especially with Carter listening in the background.
Speaking of Carter. I looked at my phone and saw I had a text message. After Jonathan had texted me last night, I turned my phone off and was now just turning it back on. Turns out I had missed a text from Carter.
Amara, its Carter. Be careful. Okay? I need to talk to you.
The message was from late last night.
Sry Carter. When do u wanna talk?
I got out of bed, ready for school, and driving to meet Carter in twenty minutes. Ava didn’t need a ride because she was going to go in early for math or something before me. I pulled into the parking lot and found Carter leaning against his car.
“Hey, Carter.” I said.
“Hey Amara,” He said, and pulled me into a hug. I felt at home there, and never wanted to let him go.
“So, you needed to talk to me?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Carter paused. He was trying to think of what to say. “I dunno. I just don’t want you getting hurt with Jonathan. He has..”
“A reputation, I know. Don’t worry.” I smiled, but I could tell Carter wasn’t satisfied.
“Well, yeah. But,” Carter was stammering.
“Carter, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“What did you do last night?” He blurted out. So that’s what he wanted to know.
I blushed. “We kissed. That was all.”
Carter looked relieved. “Okay, I’m glad he didn’t do anything more. Just be careful okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I got you.” I said, rolling my eyes. “Come on, let’s go to class.”
Carter and I walked into school and then to our separate classes for first hour. I knew Carter was right. I did need to be careful, because Jonathan does have a reputation. I seem to find those types of guys. I just want to have fun, I guess. Or maybe it was because Jonathan was giving me attention, so I just went along with it. I really don’t know. I guess I will just have to wait and see how everything plays out.
I was super confused by the time I got to second hour. I had no idea what to think of last night, and regret was lingering on my mind. I don’t want to have my first kiss with some stupid guy who I am never going to talk to again.
As I walked into the classroom, I cleared my mind of all thoughts and focused on the issue at hand. Jonathan and Carter. They were facing away from each other, not talking. Great, I thought. Now, Carter is mad at Jonathan for hanging out with me. My mind processed what I just thought. Could Carter be…jealous..?
I set my stuff down on my desk next to Jonathan, and no one said a word. Well, this is awkward. The three of us were silent all during math and I actually got my homework done. What was up with the attitudes in here? I certainly wasn’t going to say anything first.
There were about ten minutes left in class when Carter turned around and looked me straight in the eye.
“Amara, are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance?”
I was totally caught off guard. “Uhmm, not as of right now. When is it?” I asked.
“Three weekends from now.” Jonathan spoke up, and I looked at him. He was still facing forward, not even looking at me.
“Oh, well I guess I could go. Isn’t that the dance where the girls ask the guys?”
“Yeah, it is.” Carter said.
I just nodded my head and my mind started going crazy. Who was I going to ask?
Finally the bell rang, and I jumped out of my seat, trying to get as far away from Jonathan and Carter as possible. Leaving the classroom I spotted Christy.
“Christy!” I yelled and caught up with her.
“Hey Amara! How are you?” Christy asked, with her normal excitement.
“Good. I have a question. Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance?” I asked.
“Yeah, I think so. I have a friend from Woodland that I am thinking of asking.” She pause as if she was thinking, and then her eyes got big and she blurted out, “You should totally ask Carter! Oh my gosh! We could get the whole group together and we could all go!”
I laughed. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
Throughout the rest of the day I kept thinking about the dance. Ava, and the rest of my friends hate school dances and never want to go, so I was planning on going with Christy’s group of senior friends, who I knew well anyway. The only issue was trying to find a date and picking between Jonathan and Carter. Christy doesn’t know about me and Jonathan, and I hope to keep it that way. The only issue is that sometimes, Jonathan hangs out with Christy’s group of friends, which could get awkward if I end up going with Carter.
I guess I still have some time though. So I can wait.
After school, I was walking with Ava to my car when Carter ran up beside me. “Amara.” He said, a little out of breath. “I talked to Jonathan.”
“Oh, so you guys are talking?” I asked.
“Well, sort of. I needed to figure out if he was going to be around for Sadie’s.”
“And?” I asked.
“He said he is out of town that weekend.”
“Oh, good to know.” I said. “Thanks.” I smiled.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Carter said, walking the opposite direction.
Was that a hint? Does Carter want me to ask him to Sadie’s?
Ava never said anything to me about Carter talking to me, she never really does. She was relatively quiet the whole day, so I was wondering if there was something wrong.
“Ava, how was your day?” I asked.
“It was good.” She replied without looking at me.
“Well that’s good.” I said, not knowing what to say.
“Well, actually, I need to tell you something. You promise you won’t get mad?”
“Yeah, Ava, I promise.”
“Like, you’re seriously going to kill me when I tell you.”
“I doubt that. Just tell me.”
“I talked to Ryan last night,” Ava said.
I didn’t really have anything to say. I guess I was just caught off guard. Why was Ava talking to my ex-boyfriend?
“Oh, I don’t care. I feel bad that I ruined your guys’ friendship anyways.” I said, trying not to look like I cared.
When I broke up with Ryan, almost a year ago, I broke his heart pretty bad. I was scared going into the relationship in the first place because I didn’t want to lose our friendship, so, we promised going into it that nothing would change after the relationship ended. That was the only condition I had during our relationship, so he promised me the day he asked me out and the day I broke up with him that we could still be friends.
I haven’t heard from him since. No one has heard from him. He shut out every one of my friends, including Ava. When he doesn’t talk to me, he doesn’t talk to my friends. That’s why I can’t really be mad at Ava. Ryan and Ava were really good friends when me and Ryan were going out. It’s not fair that he doesn’t talk to her.
Ryan is the reason it takes me awhile to really trust someone, especially guys, with friendships. I don’t want them to leave and never talk to me or use me to their advantage. That’s why the whole situation with Jonathan scares me.
“Are you sure you don’t care?” Ava asked, interrupting my thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I gave her a reassuring smile.
“Okay, well I might be hanging out with him this weekend. Just to talk.”
“Okay, have fun.” I said, not knowing what to say.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ava said, getting out of my car. I had barely noticed that I was even in her driveway.
“Bye,” I said, smiling.
As I drove away, I am trying to tell myself that I really don’t care that my best friend is hanging out and talking to my ex. I mean I don’t really care, but deep down I know there is a part of me that knows I’m not okay with it. Now, I just have a weird feeling about it. But I can’t let it bother me. It shouldn’t bother me.
I am still arguing with myself when I pull into my own drive way.
“Hey honey, how was your day?” my mom asks, as I walk in the door.
“It was good. Nothing too exciting.” I reply, knowing that she would die to know that I might be asking Carter to Sadie’s. “What did you do today?” I ask.
“Nothing really. Ran some errands, went for a run, did some bills,” She says, wiping the kitchen counter down.
“Oh, sounds exciting.” I say. I wait for a couple minutes to see if she is going to ask anything else before I tell her I am going to work on homework.
That night, I did nothing. After working on homework for maybe thirty minutes, I had dinner and then went to bed. No texts from Jonathan. Nothing from Carter. Ava didn’t even call.
There was something definitely going on between Carter and Jonathan, but I think that my mind has finally decided to ask Carter to the dance. I mean, I want to go with someone I know I will have fun, so why not? Carter is fun to be around and Jonathan’s out of town. Perfect.
The next couple of days at school went by in a blur and I barely paid attention to what was going on around me. I was in one of those moods when I don’t want to talk to anyone and just want to sleep all day, but I really needed to ask Carter to the dance.
After school. I would ask him after school. Ava was staying after for an extra cheer practice, so I was slowly making my way out to my car, but also keeping an eye open for Carter. I was almost to my car, when I noticed his car a couple spots down from me. I looked around and saw him talking to one of his friends and walking towards his car.
I slipped in between the cars parked around ours and made it to his car just before he did.
“Carter,” I said, a little out of breath from trying to make it to his car before him.
“Oh, hey Amara. How are you?” He casually put his arm around me and smiled.
“I’m doing good,” I said, getting nervous. “So,” I said, smiling, “I have a question for you?”
“Yeah? What is it?” He smiled, and I knew he knew what I was going to ask him.
“Do you wanna go to the Sadie’s?” I asked.
“Of course!” He replied, smiling as usual.
I smiled back. “Sorry I didn’t ask you in an exciting way. I feel bad since it’s your senior year.” Usually when people are asked to dances, especially Sadie’s and Prom, the way they ask each other is way out of the ordinary. One time, a couple years ago, some senior asked his date to prom by asking a police officer to pull her over first. I mean, these ideas are crazy. The girls usually do balloons or notes, but I’m just plain, old, and boring.
“No, it’s okay,” Carter said, interrupting my thoughts. I must have still looked perplexed because he added, “I promise,” and he bent down and kissed my forehead.
“Okay,” I said, a little bit fazed by his kiss.
“It’ll be a fun night, I promise. I’m excited!” Carter said. He was making me even more excited.
“Christy said something about getting your group together before or after the dance too, so I’m sure it will fun, Carter.”
“Yeah, I knew there was going to be something like that. Well, I’ll talk to you later, okay, Amara?” Carter said.
“Alright,” I said. “Seeya.”
I walked back to my car and hopped in, blasting Andy Grammer through my speakers, making my day even better.
I called Christy when I got home and told her about me and Carter. She was super excited and called some other people in her group to get the before and after party on the radar. We had two weeks until the dance.
Christy’s friend Emily decided to have the party at her house before the dance, which was good because I knew Emily really well from cheer. We had cheered together for two years.
Emily and Christy were the two seniors graduating this year that I was actually going to miss. They were the ones who were always there for me when my actual group of friends weren’t and of course I always went to dances with them too. They were fun to be around, even if they were a bad influence.
After working on homework for an hour I told my mom about me and Carter going to the dance together and she started freaking out…in a good way. She started blabbing on and on about a bunch of random crap that I really don’t care about. I mean seriously? Who cares how I get to the dance. I still have two weeks to figure it out.
I laughed at her in my head and told her that I was going to work on some more homework before dinner. She smiled and let me go, freeing me of her random comments.
When I got to my room, I saw that I had a text message from Jonathan. My heart started beating fast and I read the message. I was scared and nervous. What did he want?
It read. Simple enough. I called Jonathan.
“Hey,” he said, on the second ring.
“Hi,” I paused. “Did you want to say something?” I asked.
“Oh, uhm, yeah. You’re going to Sadie’s with Carter right?”
“Yeah,” I said, hesitating a little bit.
“Okay. Just curious.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Well I was supposed to be out of town that weekend, but I guess my plans changed and I am going to be in town. Just wanted to see what your plans were.”
“Oh,” I paused, feeling really bad. “I’m sorry.”
“No! It’s okay. I think I found someone from my church that I might go with. She is really nice and I think she is in your grade. Anyway, Emily asked me to come to her party. You’re going right?” Jonathan asked.
“Yeah, pretty sure.” I said.
“Okay, so yeah. That’s the plan then. Just wanted to make sure you had found a date.”
“Why? Were you going to be mine?” I asked, and then instantly regretted it.
“Well, if you had asked me, I may have considered it.” Jonathan laughed. “Well I go to go, Amara. See you tomorrow.”
“Okay, bye.” I said and he hung up. Well that was interesting. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he was saying to me and I guess I was surprised that he was even talking to me again. I guess I had it in my head that I wasn’t going to hear from him anymore.
I guess there are just a lot of things to be expected. My life was just whirling out of control.
I had about thirty more minutes until Carter came to pick me up. I was nervous. My parents were going to make him take pictures with me before I was able to get in his car, which required him to actually meet my parents. He had complained all week about meeting my parents, but I kept tell him to stop being a baby. He hasn’t complained about it since.
Tonight was going to be a long night. Me and Carter and about six other couples were going over to Emily’s house before the dance. Then, we were all going to drive up to the school together. The dance goes until 11:00pm, but I will be surprised if we last for that long. I think, after the dance, the whole group is going over to Jackie’s house, another friend of Christy’s that I knew.
There was a knock on my front door and everyone in my house froze.
“Don’t say or do anything stupid!” I yelled to my parents, as I went to get the door.
I opened the door. “Hey Carter,” I said, letting him come inside.
“Hey girl,” He said, smiling.
“You must be Carter?” My mom asked, smiling.
“Yes, ma’am. Nice to meet you,” Carter said. I smiled to myself, because I knew Carter was trying hard to get my parents to like him.
“Carter,” my dad said, holding his hand out for Carter to shake.
“Sir, nice to meet you.” Carter said shaking my dad’s hand and acting like a total gentleman, which was totally handsome.
“You guys want a picture before you leave?” My mom asked.
“Sure,” Carter said, smiling at me. He threw his arm over my shoulder and smiled as my dad took a quick picture.
“Looks good,” My dad said.
“What time would you like me to have her home by?” Carter asked.
“Doesn’t really matter, Carter,” My mom said. My parents were so easy going.
“Let’s say before 2:00,” my dad spoke up.
“Alright,” Carter said, “sounds good.” He smiled at me.
“Okay, well by guys,” I said to my parents.
“Bye Honey, have fun!” My mom said, as we left my house.
“Oh, Amara, I forgot to tell you that I had to drive Jonathan over to Emily’s also.” Carter said.
My heart started beating faster. “Oh, okay.” I paused. “So my parents weren’t that bad, were they?” I asked him, getting in the car.
“No, I was never worried.”
“Sure you weren’t,” I said, and Carter just rolled his eyes at me.
Carter backed out of my driveway and started to Emily’s house, which was literally less than a mile from my house.
“Thanks for the ride, Carter.” Jonathan said, speaking for the first time.
“Anytime, man.” Carter said, as we all got out of the car.
We all walked in the house and Emily’s mom greeted us.
“Hello guys. Amara, how are you?” she said, hugging me.
“Good, thank you. I haven’t seen you in a while,” I paused, “I miss coming over here,” I said. I used to come over here all the time to help Emily with stuff for cheer.
Emily’s mom smiled at us, “Well everyone is down stairs eating. Feel free to help yourself.”
“Thank you!” Carter said, taking my hand and leading me downstairs with Jonathan behind us.
I think we were the last ones to show up. Everyone was already down here eating and laughing.
“Hey Amara!” Christy yelled, wrapping me up in a hug that pulled me off the ground.
I laughed. “Hey Christy,” I said, hugging her back.
“You can put my date back on the ground now,” Carter said from behind me, letting his hand rest on my lower back. Christy reluctantly put me down and Carter put his arm around me protectively. I looked around the room and saw Jonathan with is arm around his date, and I’m not going to lie. I was jealous.
“Come on. Let’s go get food.” Carter said, pulling me to the bar. We both grabbed a plate and a few tacos and went to sit down.
A few games were going on around us, but I wasn’t interested in playing. Carter was up and playing after he ate, but I sat on the couch and waited. James, a senior I talk to in my Spanish class came over and sat down next to me. He casually put his arm around me and I leaned into him. He was just a nice kid I had known before having class with him.
“Bored?” He asked.
“No, just, I dunno.” I said, not really knowing how I felt.
“Well, we will be heading over to the school soon. You will have fun there, I know it.”
“I hope so.” I paused. “Are you going to Jackie’s later?” I asked.
“Yes, ma’am. You?”
I nodded my head. We sat like that for a while before anyone came up to us.
“Hey, do you guys want to head up to the school now?” Christy asked us.
“About time.” James said, standing up and pulling me with him.
“We are going to try to leave as many cars as possible here. So we are all going in Emily’s truck and Adam’s truck. Amara, Carter is going with Adam so I would go with him too.”
I smiled and went to find Carter.
“Carter!” I said, and he turned around and looked at me.
“Yeah?” he said, holding his hand out for me to take.
“We going with Adam?”
I grabbed my things and headed to Adam’s car. Adam was another senior who was friends with Carter. He went to Woodland, but they had been really good friends before high school.
We all piled into the trucks and drove to the school, blasting music so loud the car was vibrating. We all laughed at tried to act normal, but we couldn’t help but belt the lyrics out.
We finally arrived to the school and we ran into the school like crazy people. Carter paid for my ticket and we headed to the dance floor. The whole group stuck together in the middle of the giant mob of students that filled the school gym. It was super dark but there were strobe lights everywhere.
“Amara! Come here girl!” Carter yelled to me from across the circle we were all dancing in. I slowly moved my hips and danced my way over to him causing Adam and James to whistle. I laughed and Carter grabbed me and pulled me into him.
“Are you trying to tease me?” He said into my ear, but the music was so loud, only I could hear.
I laughed. “Maybe,” I smirked and he just rolled his eyes.
“Get your ass over here,” he said, grabbing my hips as I pressed my back up to his chest.
I moved my hips back and forth and I could tell Carter was getting excited. He pulled me closer to him as I grinded against him, rubbing my ass against his crotch. His hands were tight on my waist and I could tell he didn’t want me to stop.
I put my arms behind me and wrapped them around his neck.
“Amara.” That was all I heard from Carter, but it came out more like a groan. I smiled to myself and kept dancing against Carter.
“Can I get some of that?” James asked, winking at me.
“No,” Carter said, smiling. “She’s mine.”
I smiled and tried to pull away from Carter, but he held me tight against him.
“Come on, Carter. I was turned on just watching her. Share her will ya?”
“Yeah, Carter.” I said, rolling me eyes and smiling.
“Fine. One song. But then you’re mine for the rest of the night.”
I just shook my head and grabbed James’ hand. James was much taller than Carter and was more built. Carter was strong but skinnier than James.
“One song’s all I get?” James asked.
“Don’t waste it,” Carter said, smiling.
James pulled me towards him and I started to work my magic again, grinding against his crotch and immediately feeling him against my ass. I smiled to myself as James brought me closer to him.
“You’re such a good dancer, Amara.” James said into my ear, making me shiver.
I pushed a little bit hard against him in response and James let out a groan only I heard. I laughed to myself and started to sing the lyrics of the song playing.
Carter came to collect me after the song ended and James was mad, but Carter didn’t care. He wanted me to himself.
I saw Jonathan’s date walking towards the drinking fountain, so I told Carter I would be right back and followed her.
“Hey, your Jonathan’s date right?” I asked.
“Yeah, and you’re Amara right? Carter’s date?” She smiled.
I nodded me head.
“I’m Sarah,” she said. “I don’t think we formally met.”
“I don’t think we ever did,” I said smiling. “Nice to meet you. You having fun?” I asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Sorta. I really don’t even know Jonathan that well. I thought he was super cute, so I agreed to come, but now I want to go home.”
“I’m sorry! What happened?” I asked, curious.
“He’s been ignoring me this whole time. Hasn’t danced with me once. He’s been dancing with a bunch of other girls though. He’s just a dick. I should have expected that though. I think I am going to leave.”
“Okay, sorry about that.” I said.
“It’s okay. Will you tell him I left?” She asked.
I hesitated. “Yeah, sure.” I finally got out, not sure how well that was going to go over.
“Well nice talking to you. Maybe I’ll see you around,” Sarah said smiling.
“Bye.” I said.
How long does it take Amara to get a drink of water? She’s been gone for at least two songs.
“Hey,” Jonathan said to me. “Looking for someone?” He asked.
“My date.” I said.
“Me too. She went to get water.”
“Really? So did Amara. They must be up to something.”
Finally I spotted Amara coming back to the dance floor.
“Amara!” I yelled. She saw me and started to make her way over to me. I groaned internally. She was wearing white shorts, showing off her toned legs, and a loosely fitting tank top, making me want to take her right here.
“Hey, Carter,” She said, coming up to me and Jonathan.
“Do you know where Sarah is?” Jonathan asked.
Amara looked at him. “Uhm, she went home.”
“What?!” Jonathan yelled.
“She left.” Amara said flatly.
“Why? Did she tell you why?” Jonathan was getting angry, and he never does that.
“Dude, relax. She probably had a good reason. Go find some other chick to dance with.” I said, to him and he looked at Amara. “Besides Amara,” I said. “I’m not sharing her anymore.”
“Anymore?” Jonathan asked.
“I danced with James earlier.” Amara spoke up.
“And you didn’t dance with me?” Jonathan asked.
“You never asked.” Amara replied without any emotion. What was wrong with her?
“Well I am asking now.” Jonathan said.
“No. I’m dancing with her.” I said, pulling her into me.
Jonathan glared at her and then turned and left, walking towards the door.
Well that went well.
“Sorry if he’s mad at you later.” I said.
“I don’t care.” She said, smiling up at me. She was facing me as we danced together, turning me on more. I tried to keep myself under control, but it wasn’t working out well.
“You okay?” I asked, trying to get my mind off the sexy body dancing against me.
“Yeah,” she said. I knew she was lying, but I let it go. If she wants to tell me, she will.
After a few more songs, Christy came up to us. “We are going to head over to Jackie’s now, if that’s okay with you.” I nodded and grabbed Amara’s hand.
We all piled into the cars and drove back to Emily’s to pick up our individual cars. Now it was just me and Amara in my car.
“Do you know how to get there?” I asked Amara.
“Yup!” She said, sounding like her normal self again.
“Great! Feel free to tell me where to go,” I said, waiting for her to tell me where to go.
We finally made it to Jackie’s house after only a few wrong turns, all my fault. Apparently I don’t know how to follow directions, according to Amara. I parked my car, helped Amara out of the car, and we walked into the house together.
“Hi Amara!” Jackie’s mom said as she walked into the house.
“Hi!” Amara said, taking off her coat. “Nice to see you.” I swear Amara knows everyone.
“You too. Everyone’s downstairs, you two.” Jackie’s mom said, shutting the front door.
“Thanks!” I said, following Amara down to the basement.
We walked downstairs and the basement was filled. There were more people here than there were at Emily’s. Everyone was gathered around the T.V.
“Carter! We are watching a movie. Hurry sit down!” Christy yelled.
I grabbed Amara and pulled her to the ground with me. I leaned against the front of the couch and she laid down next to me, laying her head on my lap. It felt totally right for her to be there. I stared down at her and smiled, gently moving her hair out of her eyes. I saw her smile, but she didn’t look up at me.
The movie started and I let my hand rest on her waist. She closed her eyes , and I was pretty sure she fell asleep, but I just watched her. She was so beautiful. I wonder what put her in a bad mood earlier.
James came down the stairs a few minutes later and sat down on the other side of me. He actually laid his head on my lap too, careful not to wake Amara up. That’s the relationship James and I have. If people didn’t know us, they would this we were gay. We sorta have the real “bro-mance.”
After the movie ended, people got up to leave. I gently stroked Amara’s cheek and she woke up, looking confused.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep.” She said, sitting up.
“Don’t worry about it. You just missed a really bad movie,” James said.
“You ready to go?” I asked Amara.
“I guess.” She said.
“I know. I don’t want you to go either.” I smiled and she blushed. I loved that about her.
She stood up and then helped me up. I gave her a good hug when I finally stood up. I buried my face in her hair and he sweet scent washed over me.
“I had so much fun tonight,” I whispered in her ear, and I could hear her take in a breath. I smiled.
“Me too Carter.”
“Let’s go,” I said, grabbing her hand. I led her out to the car and we made our way back to her house. I pulled up in her drive way and helped her out of the car. It was almost 1:30pm. Not too late, and not too early.
Amara was about to walk up to her door when I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back towards me. I pinned her between my car and myself with my arms on either side of her sexy body.
She blushed and I just smiled at her.
“I really had fun tonight, Amara.”
“I did too, Carter. Thanks for taking me.”
“Thanks for asking me.”
There was a pause and I saw her eyes flicker to my lips, and that was all I needed. I gently grabbed her face in my hands and pulled her up towards me, letting my lips graze against hers. I wanted to take it slow, in case she changed her mind.
Her arms snaked their way around my neck and she pulled me towards her, deepening our kiss. I knew she wanted more. I pressed my whole body against hers and really took her in. I could feel my insides growing warm and I felt like fireworks were exploding in my stomach. I sucked on her lower lip and I heard her let out moan, turning me on. She opened her mouth more and I quickly slipped my tongue between her lips and gently massaged her tongue. I moaned and I could feel her smile against my lips.
She started to pull away so I kissed her a few seconds more before I let her lips leave mine. I gently kissed her forehead and pulled her into me.
“We need to do this again,” I whispered into her ear.
“Yes,” was all Amara said.
I closed my eyes and pulled away, not wanting to leave her.
“Well, as much as I don’t want to, I should probably go.” I said.
“Probably.” She said, her lips were red and puffy, making her look to adorable.
“I’ll see you later okay?” I asked.
“Mhmm,” she said. “Thanks again, Carter.”
“Anything for you Amara,” I said and I managed to make her blush again.
“Bye.” She said, walking towards her door. I really didn’t want to leave her, but I crawled into my car and drove home in silence, never wanting this night to end.
There was now a new issue. Jonathan. What was going on between them? I really don’t want to mess anything up, but she doesn’t deserve him. Hell, she barely deserves me, but I know I can treat her better.
When Amara told me Sarah had left, I wasn’t surprised at all. Jonathan hadn’t been paying attention to Sarah all night. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why Sarah left. I felt bad for the girl and I just don’t want that to happened to Amara either. I had known Amara from a distance for the past couple years because of her friendship with Christy and Emily, but I never really paid attention to her. Now I wish I had.
I had finally got home and was lying in bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about Amara. She was an amazing kisser and I couldn’t get that moment out of my head. I tried to be so gentle with her, scared to break her almost. She was just so innocent, I didn’t want to hurt her. He lips were so soft against mine, I never wanted her to stop. She drives me crazy. I mean she even managed to get me under her spell just by the way she moved her hips against mine. Amara was special. I had to do something about her. It’s my senior year. What do I go to lose?
I got out my cell phone and sent her a message, hoping this would help me get her off my mind long enough for me to fall asleep.
Thinking of you. Had so much fun tonight(:
I threw my phone on the other side of the room to refrain from checking it every five seconds. About ten minutes later, just as I was falling asleep, my phone vibrated. I got out of bed and read the message from Amara.
I did too Carter. Goodnight(:
I read and realized I was smiling at my phone like a loser.
I sent quickly and then turned my phone off, content and ready to go to bed, hoping to have sweet dreams about Amara.
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face. Last night’s events flooded into my head and I couldn’t help but think of Carter. I had so much fun last night, I wished it had never ended.
I was glad it was the weekend. It would make my class on Monday easier having a few days between the kiss I gave Carter. I didn’t want Jonathan to suspect anything. I still didn’t know what was going on with my love life right now. It was all just too confusing. I was already overwhelmed and it had only been a few weeks since my junior year started.
The rest of the weekend went by in a flash. I talked to Carter throughout the weekend. We always had something to talk about which was really nice. He was like the best guy friend I have never had. I feel like I can really be myself around him and he actually cares about me. I haven’t talked to Jonathan in a really long time. Math was just awkward. I talked to Carter the whole hour and joked around with him while Jonathan sulked in the corner. One day he even got up and sat on the other side of the room and talked to some football players.
It was almost like Jonathan and I had never had that night under the stars. I knew it though, I knew it was a joke to him. He lied to me. I had been thinking about this lately, and I really could feel something breaking inside me. There was just an emptiness in my life and I knew that it was because of Jonathan. It just made me hate him even more.
Carter was helping me through it though. He was always there. I sometimes texted him at 1:00am because I couldn’t sleep, and he would always respond, ready to listen. He was a real friend. We’d been talking for almost four months now. Christmas was just around the corner and I was really going to miss seeing Carter every day. We had become really close over the past few weeks and we talked all the time.
I was also finally getting used the fact that I was never going to talk to Jonathan again. He’d been ignoring me, especially lately. I hadn’t really talked to him since that first and second week of school.
I was really surprised when he stopped me in the hallway after school on the Friday beginning our Christmas break.
“Hey,” Jonathan said, grabbing my arm. I tried to pretend that he wasn’t having any effect on my, but I could tell it wasn’t working.
“What do you want?” I asked, I was trying so hard to stay mad at him and shut him out, but his piercing blue eyes were boring into my chocolate brown ones.
“I need to talk to you,” he said.
“Well what are we doing?” I asked, pulling my arm away from him, and taking a step away from him. I felt bad about acting this way, but I couldn’t let him back in.
“Please, hear me out.” He begged and I just stared at him, waiting to explain. “Listen,” he said, “Can we go back to my place? Somewhere private?”
“Sure,” I said, and then regretted it. I was letting him back in.
He smiled and turned to walk away, so I followed him without another word. We arrived at his house shortly after. I got out of his car and followed him into his house. I think his parents were working still, because the house was silent. We were alone. Great. Just what I needed.
“Amara, please just listen to me, okay?”
“I’m listening.” I said, crossing my arms.
“I’m sorry I was shutting you out.” He let out a sigh, but I knew there was more. “I probably hurt you more than I think and I’m sorry. I was just really confused.” He took a deep breath. “But I wanted to tell you this before you heard it from someone else.” Pause. “I’m leaving.”
At first I didn’t think I heard him right. What? He’s leaving? But he just got here! Jonathan must have seen the confused look on my face and began to explain.
“I applied for the Army last summer, just seeing if I could get into their pre-training programs, so I could get ready for the real training. I didn’t expect to get accepted into the program so early..” he trailed off.
Why was he telling me this? “So when are you leaving?” I asked, curious.
“Next week.” He replied.
“So soon?” I asked, not meaning to say it out loud.
“Yeah. I will be able to train for six months before I can start the real training that way. I have good enough grades to graduate early so I guess that’s why this all worked out.”
“Why are you telling me?” I asked, suddenly curious on why he thought it was even important for me to know in the first place.
He hesitated. “I dunno. I just thought you might want to know.”
“Tell me why, really.” I said, knowing he was lying to me.
“I dunno, Amara. There was just part of me that knew I had to tell you. I know you don’t probably care, but I just thought you should know. I feel bad because of earlier.”
Whatever. I thought to myself. He was just so stupid. I’m so done with him. He lies. I don’t even know why he bothered to tell me. What did bother me though was the fact that he though I didn’t care, because deep down there was another piece of me that was falling away. I mean the Army? What if he dies. One kiss. My first kiss, and he’s just gone? I’m supposed to remember him forever. What is something horrible happened to him? For some reason my eyes started to tear up, but I could never let him see my feelings for him.
I blinked a couple times. “Okay, well thanks for telling me.” I said and turned to leave.
Jonathan didn’t say anything to me. He just let me walk away. I don’t even know what just happened. What was going on? Do I have feelings for Jonathan? I thought I was over him. We only talked a couple times since school started. Sure we kissed and hung out a couple times, but it wasn’t like I had real feelings for him. Then again, I thought I was in love the day I first met him. I guess I really don’t know what I’ve got until it’s gone. I wonder what he’s thinking.
When I got outside I called Carter and asked him to pick me up. I has left my car at school and needed to pick it up before the weekend.
I few minutes later I was in the car with Carter. It was silent as he drove to the school. The only thing I told Carter was that Jonathan was leaving. I still hadn’t figured out what else was going on.
“Feel free to call me if you want later. Or text me Amara. I’m always here for ya girl,” Carter said, dropping me off at my house. “I’m always willing to listen and look out for you.”
“Thanks Carter, really,” I said, trying to smile.
I walking into my house and crawled to my room throwing myself onto my bed. I curled myself into a small ball just as tears began to leak from my eyes.
Someone please explain to me what was going on. I don’t have any feelings for Jonathan. I hadn’t talked to him in so long, why was all the emotion flowing out now?
As soon as Amara left, I went up to my room and fell onto my bed. I had no idea what had just happened. I hadn’t talked to Amara in almost four months and now I was just told her I was leaving. Right out nowhere. I probably hurt her even more.
I really didn’t know what I was thinking when I stopped her in the hallway. Part of me just wanted to tell her I was leaving before I was gone. I didn’t want to hurt her more, I guess. I was seriously confused on my emotions though. I mean I knew I felt something for here, I mean everyone did.
After kissing her, I just never got her out of my head. I had known that there was a chance that I could be leaving in the middle of the year, but tucked that away, I guess.
I had been trying to put space between me and Amara lately. She had been really good friends with Carter, which was good. As much as I hated to say it, he was better for her. At least he wasn’t ditching her. I knew that Carter could take care of her when I was away, so I reluctantly let her go. Now, I regret it. I should have stayed close to her. Although, I think it will be better this way. She doesn’t deserve me and I don’t want to hurt her again anyway.
I had been hooking up with Christy lately also, which was weird and I don’t think Amara knew about it. Christy and I were in a sort of “friends with benefits” sort of relationship which was good because there were no emotions involved, which made it easier for me to tell Christy we were done because I was leaving. I was talking to a few other girls to, just trying to get my mind off of Amara, but that never worked out the way I wanted it to.
There is just so much going on right now, it is overwhelming. I really needed to focus on the Army and preparing some ass kicking in a couple of weeks. I was actually really excited to get my training started. I have always wanted to be in the Army and now my dream was finally coming true. Hopefully the next six months would go by fast, though.
I get to come home in the summer for a few weeks before heading off to another training camp in Missouri. Maybe I will be able to talk to Amara then, if she doesn’t forget me.
I had so many thoughts running through my head, it was hard to fall sleep, but I finally managed after thinking about the first kiss I stole from Amara.
The rest of winter break went really well after the random encounter with Jonathan. My family traveled to Iowa for Christmas to visit all my grandparents. The break was way too fast, but I had talked to Carter throughout the two weeks we had off.
Now, I was back home, and getting ready for a New Year’s party at my house. My family has a close group of friends and almost all of them are coming over tonight to celebrate.
Throughout the night I was super busy, running around and getting things to help my mom out. I barely had time to count down and drink my champagne right after the new year, but I soon found myself falling asleep on the couch in the basement…
Returning to school in early January was going to be so much different. Jonathan was going to be gone, and all I had left was Carter. He was graduating too, so we only had a few months left together before he moved on and went to college.
“Hey girl! How are you?” Christy asked, seeing me for the first time in a while.
“Pretty good. Not really excited to start school again, but I guess I’m alright,” I said, but deep down I really missed seeing Jonathan.
“Well we are all going prom dress shopping this weekend if you want to come along.”
“Why would I? I don’t have a date.”
“Well you can just give us some opinions then.”
“Who are you going with?” I asked, Christy.
“Well, I was going to go with Jonathan, but he left.”
“Wait? Jonathan? You talked to him?”
“Yeah, we hung out a couple times.”
“Oh,” I said, disappointed that I wasn’t the only girl he had had his eyes on.
“Didn’t I tell you about that whole situation, it’s kind of funny.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Well we hung out a couple times and we kissed and fooled around a little bit. We were “friends with benefits” I guess you could say. Anyway he asked me to prom, but then he left and I dunno, I guess I sort of liked hanging out with him, but now I’m mad that he just got up and left. And he never even said anything to me.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” This was getting awkward. She had no idea I had hooked up with Jonathan.
“I’m glad he’s away from you though. He’s bad for you. You need to find a date to prom.”
I let her think that one over awhile. “Emily thinks Carter should ask me.”
“Carter? Why him? That would be weird. I mean I want you to have a date and everything, but I feel like he sees you like a little sister, and prom is a serious thing. Plus, it’s his senior prom.”
“Yeah…” I said, feeling uncomfortable. Did Carter really think that? But he kissed me! Did Christy know about that?
I slowly walked away from Christy to my second hour class, not really looking forward to it, for once.
I sat down in my usual spot, next to and empty desk now. Carter came in later.
“Well, now that Jonathan is gone, can I sit next to you?” Carter was in a surprisingly good mood.
I nodded and he sat down.
“Amara, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I really didn’t even want to see Carter right now.
“Amara, you can tell me.”
I just shook my head and got up to get a pass to the bathroom, leaving Carter behind.
I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls.
How could Christy say that? I mean, she was probably right, I think. She knows more about Carter than I do, but still. I liked Carter. I really did, but it’s no use if he thinks I’m his little sister. That’s just weird. So, why did he kiss me?
Maybe Christy is all wrong. She didn’t see how Carter and I interacted. Maybe she was jealous of my relationship with Carter. I mean, ever since the dance I went to with him, she has been anti Carter being with me. She’s been trying to set me up with a guy in my grade that goes to her church.
And then she goes and tells me she has been hooking up with Jonathan! What I hypocrite! I mean seriously?? Why would she do that to me! She lectures and lectures me. Stay away from Jonathan. Stay away from Jonathan. And then she goes and locks lips with him!! UGH! She probably liked him and wanted me to stay away from him. And now she’s doing that with Carter. What happened to my life? Why was this all falling apart?
I hadn’t realized, but hot tears were dripping off my cheek and onto my lap. I needed to go home or something. I can’t be here anymore.
I snuck out of the bathroom and went to my locker to get my things. I walked to my car, got in and drove. I had no idea where I was driving too, but after twenty minutes, I arrived at my destination, smiling. This is just what I needed.
There’s something wrong with Amara, and I wanted to hurt whatever put her in a bad mood. She didn’t even smile at me.
She got up and left in the middle of class and I was just waiting for her to come back. I waited and waited. When the bell rang, signaling the end of second hour, I was on a mission to find her. I went down to her locker, noticing it was empty.
I stopped Christy in the hallway and asked her if she had seen Amara.
“No why?” She asked, full of concern.
I explain how she left class early and I hadn’t seen her since.
“Well, maybe she left. I’m sure she’s fine, Carter,” Christy assured me.
“Do you know what she is in such a bad mood?” I asked. “I think something’s wrong. She looked like she was about to cry when she left.”
Christy thought for a moment. I thought I noticed realization in Christy’s eyes, but that emotion disappeared a moment later.
“No, I don’t know.” Christy turned away and I went to my third hour, but not before calling Amara, but of course she didn’t answer.
I have no idea where Amara went, but I was sure, she wasn’t at school anymore. At lunch, I went out and looked for her car in the parking lot. I followed her in this morning and knew where she had parked. That spot was no empty and I felt my heart sink.
Where the hell was she?
I arrived at the river’s edge twenty minutes after escaping from school and life in general. You know those days when you just want to be away from everyone? Yeah, that’s what I was feeling.
The St. Croix river docks has always been my favorite place to go with I needed to think, write, or just be alone with my own open space. Usually in the summer the sound of the waves lapping up against my toes that I dangle in the water calms me, but now that the river is frozen that special sound is impossible to hear. However, I decide to take advantage of the fresh air and sit down on the dock anyway.
I look out over the ice covered water and take a deep breath, taking in my surroundings. The cool breeze and the clear sky really brings me back to normal and I am starting to feel more relaxed already.
This is where I needed to be. In this moment, this was perfect.
I had left my phone in the car on purpose, knowing Carter would try to reach me, since I literally just left him in math alone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.
I grabbed my notebook and pen from my purse that I had carried down on the dock with me. I slowly flipped through the pages until I found blank one. I’d been writing in this notebook a lot lately, which may or may not be a good thing, considering I only usually write in this notebook when my life is out of control.
Writing in the only thing that helps me organize my mind. No girl, or boy for that matter, can do what my notebook can, so I lean back on my lined pages quite frequently.
After maybe a half an hour, I finally put the cap back on my pen and close my notebook, feeling completely renewed and ready to face the world again.
I sit back on my hands and take in my surroundings once again. I can’t bring myself to get up and leave this peaceful place. I’d fall asleep here if I didn’t think I was going to freeze my face off or have the whole city out looking for me.
I just feel so at home here, though. I mean all the workers and owners of the docked boats know me by name, that’s how much I’m down here. My family has our own boat docked down here too , so I guess that helps, but when I’m down here without my family, like today, my lovely neighbors know to leave me alone and don’t bother me.
There’s no one down here today since the docks are closed for winter, but I shut my eyes and imagine the bustle of people and the sound of the waves. Summer is growing closer and closer every day. If only I could take one giant leap and be there right now.
I finally got my head on straight and stood up and headed towards my car, leaving my docks behind.
I climbed into my car and turned up the heat, realizing how frozen my hands are. I picked up my phone. Five missed calls. Seven text messages. Carter had been the missed calls and some of the text messages. Christy had texted me asking me if I was okay and Ava asked where I was.
I looked at the time, it had only been two hours since I left school, and I can’t go back. What was I supposed to do?
I texted Christy and Ava telling them I was alright and just wasn’t feeling good, so I had gone home.
My phone started ringing in my hand as I was starting my car. Carter’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hello,” I said, flatly into the phone.
“Oh my god. Amara. Are you okay? Where are you? I’m so worried about you. Are you okay?” Carter’s voice was frantic.
“I’m fine,” was all I said. I didn’t know if I should confide in Carter or be mad at him.
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“Carter, no. What do you mean?”
“I’m in my car. Meet me somewhere so we can talk.”
“But, Carter. What about school?”
“Who gives a shit. Meet me at my house as soon as possible. You gotta tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Okay,” I said, excited and scared.
“Okay, see ya soon!” Carter hung up before I even had the chance to said goodbye, so I put my phone down and put my car in reverse.
Okay. Carter’s house we go. I could do this. I just had to be completely honest with him.
I arrived at Carter’s house twenty minutes later. I parked behind his car in the drive way and then walked to the front door.
“Come here.” Carter’s voice scared me. I hadn’t seen him sitting on the front porch, waiting for me.
I kept walking towards him. His look of worry on his face made my heart melt, because I knew he was genuinely worried about me. I was special enough to him.
When I got close enough to him, I leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Amara,” he whispered. “You gotta talk to me girl. What’s on your mind baby?”
His nickname for me sent butterflies into my stomach.
“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s really not that big of a deal Carter,” I said, pulling away from him as we walked into his house.
“Well something’s bothering you.” Carter paused, sending me to the couch as he went to the kitchen. “Amara, do you want anything to drink?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks though.”
A moment later Carter’s hands came from behind the couch and wrapped around my neck down to my stomach.
“Amara, please tell me what’s on your mind. I want to help you. I hate it when you’re like this. Please,” Carter begged.
Carter’s arms disappeared, leaving me cold again, but he came around the couch and sat down next to me, letting a hand rest on my leg.
“Talk to me hun,” Carter said.
“Okay. So Christy told me that she had been hooking up with Jonathan and that you look at me like a little sister.”
“Are you serious? Does she know how much I love your body and how much I love kissing you?”
I smiled, but then it faded quickly. “Obviously not.”
“Well you can forget she said that, because I’m pretty sure sublings don’t do this…” Carter leaned over and kissed me gently, wrapping his arms around me. He stayed there for a second longer than I expected before finally pulling away, leaving me speechless.
“I don’t think I would do that if I looked at you like a sister. Don’t you think?”
I just shook my head.
“Thought so. Okay, so what about this stuff with Jonathan?”
“I don’t know.” I murmured.
“You miss him don’t you.”
I looked up at Carter, and then nodded my head. “I do.”
“I’m sorry Amara. You were put in a very bad situation. I wish there was something I could do.”
“Me too.” I paused. “I guess he’s just gonna have to be something that I need to get over. I mean I have you right? You can get me through this?”
“Of course,” Carter said without hesitation. “I’d never hurt you.”
I laid down on the couch, my feet laying across Carter’s lap. I closed my eyes, defeated with today. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
A few minutes later, Carter laid down behind me, his arms pulling me into him and his head nuzzling in next to mine. My heart is now on overdrive and I’m scared he can feel it beating.
“Close your eyes, dear. Let me hold you,” Carter whispered into my ear.
I closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me. The warmth of Carter’s body and the state I’m in, made it extremely easy to fall asleep and a couple hours later, I woke up to Carter kissing my forehead.
“Feel better,” He asked me as my eyes opened.
“Much,” I said, waking up still.
“Good, because we are going out to dinner. You and me.”
“Really? I look horrible! Right now? I just woke up from a nap. Gross Carter.”
Carter just smiled. “Amara you look beautiful, relax. Let’s go.”
Carter helped me up off the couch and we walked to my car.
“Give me the keys, Amara. I’ll drive.”
I threw him the keys and then hopped into the passenger seat.
“Where are we going,” I asked, curious.
“It’s a surprise,” Carter said, almost giddy.
“I don’t like surprises, Carter,” Amara said, looking over at me.
“Well imma change that, then.” I replied, smiling.
Amara didn’t look too convinced.
“Amara, do you trust me,” I asked her, placing a hand on her thigh.
“Yes,” she replied, looking at me.
“Okay good. Relax please. Treats on me.”
She nodded her head and looked back at the road. I hated seeing her like this and I was sort of mad at Christy for bringing this upon her. She would have been fine if Christy hadn’t said anything to Amara this morning.
My phone vibrated and I saw that I had a text from Christy. Speaking of the devil. I left it alone since I was driving and hoped that Amara wouldn’t notice.
“You have a text, Carter.” Amara’s voice was quiet and she sounded disappointed again.
“I know. Just ignore it. You’re all I’m worried about right now.” I saw Amara smile a little bit, but it vanished quickly.
“But it’s from Christy,” she said.
“And I’m with you right now. It’s not important. Trust me Amara. All my focus is on you right now.”
I finally pulled into my favorite restaurant in Woodland. There were tons of really good restaurants in Woodland, but most of them were super bland and boring. They were all the same. Champs however was a perfect atmosphere and had awesome burgers and fries.
“Champs?” Amara asked.
“Yeah! Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “I haven’t been here in forever, but it’s so good.”
Amara’s excitement brought a smile to my face. Success. Amara was smiling again and her old self was already coming back.
“Surprises so bad now?” I asked her.
“Not your surprises.”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the restaurant.
Dinner was the best I’ve had in a long time and I think that I can say the same for Amara. She really seemed to be enjoying herself and she loved the food, which was a good distraction from reality.
We talked most of the time about random things that were on her mind, being careful not to mention Jonathan or Christy though. As dinner wound down I could tell her mood was losing its happiness.
“Amara,” I said, trying to get her attention. She had spent the last few moments staring off into space, deep in thought.
“Hmm?” She responded, still in a daze.
“Amara, look at me.”
“What?” He eyes snapped back to mine and I noticed her lose her breath for a second. “Carter, your eyes.”
“What about them?”
“They’re so…so mesmerizing. The perfect aqua blue…”
She was totally caught in a trance. I blinked and she snapped out of it.
She paused. “Everything. You’re such a nice person. You really make me happy.”
“Well good Amara. That was the plan.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.
We stood up and grabbed our coats, paying on the way out and walking into a blistery wind.
“Home for you?” I asked Amara once we got into the car.
“As much as I don’t want to…yes please.”
“We can do this again sometime. I promise.”
“Okay,” Amara said, smiling.
“You’re beautiful when you do that.”
“Do what?” She looked confused.
“Smile,” I said. Of course, the smile on her face grew and her cheeks turned a shade of pink. “You’re adorable.”
“Carter! Stop,” She said, drawing out the end of her words, which only made we want to kiss her.
“Nope!” I said, popping the “P.”
“Okay, okay.” She said, defeated. “Carter?”
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know Amara. Lots of stuff. You’re on my mind. I want you happy and smiling. I had a lot of fun tonight with you and I really want to do it again sometime. You make me happy too ya know.”
“For what,” I asked.
“For dinner. And tonight. And just everything. It really means a lot to me.”
Thank God we had just pulled into her driveway, because I didn’t know how to respond any other way than by kissing her. So I put the car in park and reached over gently pulling her delicate face towards mine until our lips brushed and butterflies rushed through my body.
I love it when Carter kissed me because he was always so gentle with me. He seemed like he was scared to break me and I absolutely loved that feeling.
I grabbed his shirt to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere and gently pulled him closer to me.
“Amara,” he whispered. “We need to stop. Or else I’m gonna take you farther than I want to right now.” He kissed my nose and brought me closer. “Kissing you like that makes me want you more than ever. I guess I have to be careful.”
I just smiled. Could a guy really want me like that? Or was he just being a pig like every other guy his age?
“Carter..” I said, scared to finish my sentence.
“Being hurt again.”
“I promise I’m not going to hurt you. Trust me. Please.”
“Okay. I trust you.”
“Good. Now I want you to go inside and climb into bed and sleep so that I can see your beautiful smiling face in class tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said, unlocking his car door and climbing out. “Thanks again for tonight.”
I looked back on more time and waved over my shoulder as Carter pulled out of my driveway.
I was lucky right? To have him? So I had to be careful. I mean obviously I’m not the only girl going after him, not that I necessarily want anything more anyways, but still. I feel like Christy is going to put up a fight, especially if she keeps acting the way she did this morning.
I think the hardest thing right now is forgetting about Jonathan. I know it’s going to be hard, but I had to try. I went through my text messages and deleted all of our conversations. I went into my contacts, preparing to delete his number but I just stared at it, unable to press one button.
I threw my phone down on my bed and stood up.
“Yes?” I said, waiting for the door to open.
“Hey,” my mom said as she opened the door. “You doing alright?”
“Yeah, you just scared me.”
“Oh, sorry dear. What are you up to?”
“Just finishing up some homework. Going to bed soon. I’m exhausted.”
“Okay, well I won’t bother you then. Just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. Did you have fun tonight?”
“Yeah, I did.” I had texted my mom telling her of my dinner plans with Carter. “It was nice to get out.”
“Well that’s good to hear. Alright, well I’m off to bed Amara. I’ll see you in the morning, sound good?”
“Yup! Goodnight, mom.”
As my mom closed the door, I looked back at my phone, Jonathan’s name still on the screen.
I picked it up one last time, stared at his name and then pressed the home button, exiting out of my contacts. I just couldn’t do it. Not tonight.
I walked to my bathroom and washed my face and changed into my PJ’s. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and Carter was right. I needed some good sleep tonight.
I crawled into my nice, warm, cozy bed and turned off the lights, and waited for sleep to overtake me.
I closed my eyes and the only thing I could see was Carter’s eyes, staring back at me, giving me the comfort I needed to fall into a peaceful sleep.