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Conflicted (Unfinished)

Author's note: This piece really means a lot to me and I am trying my hardest to make it the best that it can...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This piece really means a lot to me and I am trying my hardest to make it the best that it can be. Most of the time, I have experienced the events and feelings portrayed in the chapters, and I am trying hard to make the readers feel like they are right there with the characters.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 9 10 11

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I finally got my head on straight and stood up and headed towards my car, leaving my docks behind.
I climbed into my car and turned up the heat, realizing how frozen my hands are. I picked up my phone. Five missed calls. Seven text messages. Carter had been the missed calls and some of the text messages. Christy had texted me asking me if I was okay and Ava asked where I was.
I looked at the time, it had only been two hours since I left school, and I can’t go back. What was I supposed to do?
I texted Christy and Ava telling them I was alright and just wasn’t feeling good, so I had gone home.
My phone started ringing in my hand as I was starting my car. Carter’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hello,” I said, flatly into the phone.
“Oh my god. Amara. Are you okay? Where are you? I’m so worried about you. Are you okay?” Carter’s voice was frantic.
“I’m fine,” was all I said. I didn’t know if I should confide in Carter or be mad at him.
“Where are you? I’m on my way.”
“Carter, no. What do you mean?”
“I’m in my car. Meet me somewhere so we can talk.”
“But, Carter. What about school?”
“Who gives a shit. Meet me at my house as soon as possible. You gotta tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Okay,” I said, excited and scared.
“Okay, see ya soon!” Carter hung up before I even had the chance to said goodbye, so I put my phone down and put my car in reverse.
Okay. Carter’s house we go. I could do this. I just had to be completely honest with him.
I arrived at Carter’s house twenty minutes later. I parked behind his car in the drive way and then walked to the front door.
“Come here.” Carter’s voice scared me. I hadn’t seen him sitting on the front porch, waiting for me.
I kept walking towards him. His look of worry on his face made my heart melt, because I knew he was genuinely worried about me. I was special enough to him.
When I got close enough to him, I leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Amara,” he whispered. “You gotta talk to me girl. What’s on your mind baby?”
His nickname for me sent butterflies into my stomach.
“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s really not that big of a deal Carter,” I said, pulling away from him as we walked into his house.
“Well something’s bothering you.” Carter paused, sending me to the couch as he went to the kitchen. “Amara, do you want anything to drink?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks though.”
A moment later Carter’s hands came from behind the couch and wrapped around my neck down to my stomach.
“Amara, please tell me what’s on your mind. I want to help you. I hate it when you’re like this. Please,” Carter begged.
“Okay okay.”
Carter’s arms disappeared, leaving me cold again, but he came around the couch and sat down next to me, letting a hand rest on my leg.
“Talk to me hun,” Carter said.
“Okay. So Christy told me that she had been hooking up with Jonathan and that you look at me like a little sister.”
“Are you serious? Does she know how much I love your body and how much I love kissing you?”
I smiled, but then it faded quickly. “Obviously not.”
“Well you can forget she said that, because I’m pretty sure sublings don’t do this…” Carter leaned over and kissed me gently, wrapping his arms around me. He stayed there for a second longer than I expected before finally pulling away, leaving me speechless.
“I don’t think I would do that if I looked at you like a sister. Don’t you think?”
I just shook my head.
“Thought so. Okay, so what about this stuff with Jonathan?”
“I don’t know.” I murmured.
“You miss him don’t you.”
I looked up at Carter, and then nodded my head. “I do.”
“I’m sorry Amara. You were put in a very bad situation. I wish there was something I could do.”
“Me too.” I paused. “I guess he’s just gonna have to be something that I need to get over. I mean I have you right? You can get me through this?”
“Of course,” Carter said without hesitation. “I’d never hurt you.”
“I promise.”
I laid down on the couch, my feet laying across Carter’s lap. I closed my eyes, defeated with today. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
A few minutes later, Carter laid down behind me, his arms pulling me into him and his head nuzzling in next to mine. My heart is now on overdrive and I’m scared he can feel it beating.
“Close your eyes, dear. Let me hold you,” Carter whispered into my ear.
I closed my eyes and let sleep overtake me. The warmth of Carter’s body and the state I’m in, made it extremely easy to fall asleep and a couple hours later, I woke up to Carter kissing my forehead.
“Feel better,” He asked me as my eyes opened.
“Much,” I said, waking up still.
“Good, because we are going out to dinner. You and me.”
“Really? I look horrible! Right now? I just woke up from a nap. Gross Carter.”
Carter just smiled. “Amara you look beautiful, relax. Let’s go.”
Carter helped me up off the couch and we walked to my car.
“Give me the keys, Amara. I’ll drive.”
I threw him the keys and then hopped into the passenger seat.
“Where are we going,” I asked, curious.
“It’s a surprise,” Carter said, almost giddy.

“I don’t like surprises, Carter,” Amara said, looking over at me.
“Well imma change that, then.” I replied, smiling.
Amara didn’t look too convinced.
“Amara, do you trust me,” I asked her, placing a hand on her thigh.
“Yes,” she replied, looking at me.
“Okay good. Relax please. Treats on me.”
She nodded her head and looked back at the road. I hated seeing her like this and I was sort of mad at Christy for bringing this upon her. She would have been fine if Christy hadn’t said anything to Amara this morning.
My phone vibrated and I saw that I had a text from Christy. Speaking of the devil. I left it alone since I was driving and hoped that Amara wouldn’t notice.
“You have a text, Carter.” Amara’s voice was quiet and she sounded disappointed again.
“I know. Just ignore it. You’re all I’m worried about right now.” I saw Amara smile a little bit, but it vanished quickly.
“But it’s from Christy,” she said.
“And I’m with you right now. It’s not important. Trust me Amara. All my focus is on you right now.”
I finally pulled into my favorite restaurant in Woodland. There were tons of really good restaurants in Woodland, but most of them were super bland and boring. They were all the same. Champs however was a perfect atmosphere and had awesome burgers and fries.
“Champs?” Amara asked.
“Yeah! Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “I haven’t been here in forever, but it’s so good.”
Amara’s excitement brought a smile to my face. Success. Amara was smiling again and her old self was already coming back.
“Surprises so bad now?” I asked her.
“Not your surprises.”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the restaurant.

Dinner was the best I’ve had in a long time and I think that I can say the same for Amara. She really seemed to be enjoying herself and she loved the food, which was a good distraction from reality.
We talked most of the time about random things that were on her mind, being careful not to mention Jonathan or Christy though. As dinner wound down I could tell her mood was losing its happiness.
“Amara,” I said, trying to get her attention. She had spent the last few moments staring off into space, deep in thought.
“Hmm?” She responded, still in a daze.
“Amara, look at me.”
“What?” He eyes snapped back to mine and I noticed her lose her breath for a second. “Carter, your eyes.”
“What about them?”
“They’re so…so mesmerizing. The perfect aqua blue…”
She was totally caught in a trance. I blinked and she snapped out of it.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
She paused. “Everything. You’re such a nice person. You really make me happy.”
“Well good Amara. That was the plan.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.
We stood up and grabbed our coats, paying on the way out and walking into a blistery wind.
“Home for you?” I asked Amara once we got into the car.
“As much as I don’t want to…yes please.”
“We can do this again sometime. I promise.”
“Okay,” Amara said, smiling.
“You’re beautiful when you do that.”
“Do what?” She looked confused.
“Smile,” I said. Of course, the smile on her face grew and her cheeks turned a shade of pink. “You’re adorable.”
“Carter! Stop,” She said, drawing out the end of her words, which only made we want to kiss her.
“Nope!” I said, popping the “P.”
“Okay, okay.” She said, defeated. “Carter?”
“What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know Amara. Lots of stuff. You’re on my mind. I want you happy and smiling. I had a lot of fun tonight with you and I really want to do it again sometime. You make me happy too ya know.”
“I know.”
“Thanks again.”
“For what,” I asked.
“For dinner. And tonight. And just everything. It really means a lot to me.”
Thank God we had just pulled into her driveway, because I didn’t know how to respond any other way than by kissing her. So I put the car in park and reached over gently pulling her delicate face towards mine until our lips brushed and butterflies rushed through my body.


I love it when Carter kissed me because he was always so gentle with me. He seemed like he was scared to break me and I absolutely loved that feeling.
I grabbed his shirt to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere and gently pulled him closer to me.
“Amara,” he whispered. “We need to stop. Or else I’m gonna take you farther than I want to right now.” He kissed my nose and brought me closer. “Kissing you like that makes me want you more than ever. I guess I have to be careful.”
I just smiled. Could a guy really want me like that? Or was he just being a pig like every other guy his age?
“Carter..” I said, scared to finish my sentence.
“I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Being hurt again.”
“I promise I’m not going to hurt you. Trust me. Please.”
“Okay. I trust you.”
“Good. Now I want you to go inside and climb into bed and sleep so that I can see your beautiful smiling face in class tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said, unlocking his car door and climbing out. “Thanks again for tonight.”
“Anytime Amara.”
I looked back on more time and waved over my shoulder as Carter pulled out of my driveway.
I was lucky right? To have him? So I had to be careful. I mean obviously I’m not the only girl going after him, not that I necessarily want anything more anyways, but still. I feel like Christy is going to put up a fight, especially if she keeps acting the way she did this morning.
I think the hardest thing right now is forgetting about Jonathan. I know it’s going to be hard, but I had to try. I went through my text messages and deleted all of our conversations. I went into my contacts, preparing to delete his number but I just stared at it, unable to press one button.
I threw my phone down on my bed and stood up.
“Yes?” I said, waiting for the door to open.
“Hey,” my mom said as she opened the door. “You doing alright?”
“Yeah, you just scared me.”
“Oh, sorry dear. What are you up to?”
“Just finishing up some homework. Going to bed soon. I’m exhausted.”
“Okay, well I won’t bother you then. Just wanted to make sure you were doing alright. Did you have fun tonight?”
“Yeah, I did.” I had texted my mom telling her of my dinner plans with Carter. “It was nice to get out.”
“Well that’s good to hear. Alright, well I’m off to bed Amara. I’ll see you in the morning, sound good?”
“Yup! Goodnight, mom.”
As my mom closed the door, I looked back at my phone, Jonathan’s name still on the screen.
I picked it up one last time, stared at his name and then pressed the home button, exiting out of my contacts. I just couldn’t do it. Not tonight.
I walked to my bathroom and washed my face and changed into my PJ’s. Tomorrow was going to be a long day and Carter was right. I needed some good sleep tonight.
I crawled into my nice, warm, cozy bed and turned off the lights, and waited for sleep to overtake me.
I closed my eyes and the only thing I could see was Carter’s eyes, staring back at me, giving me the comfort I needed to fall into a peaceful sleep.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 9 10 11

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This book has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Jaguar17 said...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 3:58 am
This is awesome, hope there['s more :D hurry and write more <3
ForThoseWhoHaveHeart said...
Jun. 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm
This was simply amazing. I hope you almost done with the next few chapters! I loved it.(: Continue with the good work.

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