Blue skies of 2nd chances
HarperI woke up to the morning sun breaking through the semi-closed blinds of the window. I took a deep couple of breaths as I tossed and turned on my side of the bed. The covers had been kicked to the bottom of the bed and the sheets were torn from their respected end corners. I turned away from the streams of sunshine to find Nick still asleep next to me with his lips hinting at a smile. His arm acting like a cradle for me, so rock hard and subtle yet warm and welcoming during those few morning hours.
I tangled with my head and my heart as I breathed in the faint smell of Nick’s cologne from the night before My head told me go with the more rational decision which was to let the past stay the past and to no longer allow its iron like grip told me to feelings of guilt. It was time for me to move on, I deserved to find someone who would love and treat me right for the rest of my life. On the polar opposite end, the red, flesh, bleeding thing in the middle of my chest told me otherwise. My heart was given away a long time ago to a boy who I promised to love for what back then seemed like forever, we were even more naïve teenagers then we were a few days ago.
I couldn’t help who I genetically fell in love with for the first time, it just so happened to be Ben. First loves weren’t supposed to mean anything significant, but it wasn’t like that for me and Ben and now that I was the only lone survivor of our relationship I had a choice to make. Leave my first true love behind in the past and let myself fall in love with Nick like God had intended. Or push Nick away from me in efforts to not only save him from me but myself also, if I couldn’t love myself at the moment, then I couldn’t love anyone. It was clear to me laying in that bed in Nick’s arm that it would be an unwinnable battle for a little while longer, but I wasn’t going to let another person I “loved” slip through my fingers like with Ben.
I could hear Nick’s mother stumbling down the hall mumbling to herself about her kick in the ass hangover just outside Nick’s closed door. I snuggled in tighter in the nook of Nick’s arm against his bare chest; I polished finger nails run through the hair that covered a tiny portion of his forehead.
He groaned before opening his eyes “Good morning.” He said his morning breath brushing over me.
“Good morning sleepy head.” I said laughing as my fingers still played with strands of his hair.
“We could make this a habit you know, waking up like this in the morning, I could picture a better way to start the day. “He propped himself up one elbow.
“Only in your dreams.” I tease as I mimic his movement.
“Unfortunately, something’s are too sweet to exist in dreams.” He says. I smile at his response Nick always seems to have such a way of using words to his advantage. Not that he has had that much practice I am only the second girl he has been with since freshman year in high school.
It was in that instant that my head and heart had made a consensual agreement that what I needed the most was to move on. “Well fortunately for you, I’m not going anywhere soon.” I say letting my arm give out beneath me
“What are you saying?” He asks flashing a toothy smile; he knew the answer before I had even spit it out.
So I play hard to get by slipping deep down under the covers where the light filters through the tan sheets of his bed. “What sorry I couldn’t hear you. You’ll have to come under here if you want to know the secrete.” I say playfully scooting further down the bed. “Oh and I may not be decent down here either, just a fair warning.” I say unlatching the clip of my bra and slipping out of Nick’s boxers.
That was all it took for Nick to crawl right under the covers with me, just as bare skinned as I was. “So now that I’m down here, are you going to tell me the secret?” He muzzled into the side of my neck.
I tried to resist jumping away when I felt his hot skin against my cool, and goose bumped skin. “I meant what I said before in the car last night, I love you with all my heart and I want to be with you for as long as possible.” I said feeling the goose bumps on my skin and heart melt away as again we became part of each other. We tried as much as we could to muffle our laughs and blights of joy as the springs of the mattress began to squeak.
“Shh….my mom while even drunk might here us.” Nick says between heaving breaths.
“But we were just getting to the good part!” I tease rubbing the cut abs of his chest.
“C’mon we have to get ready for the funeral.” He says throwing the sheets off both of us. What I saw above the sheets was no different than what I had seen under them, Nick was perfect in every way. He sat on the edge of the bed as he slipped his shorts and boxers back on before ducking out in the hallway to declare the cost clear.
I stood far away from the window as I threw on my clothes from last night, I remained topless as a buckled my belt. Nick was over in seconds bra in his hand before assisting me with the clips. “ I’d say our relationship has moved in a different direction, wouldn’t you say? It’s nice right?” I said facing him as I pressed myself against him, wrapping my arms around his neck which tensed at my touch.
“Yea nice.” He said rubbing his calloused hand against the side my face, where I held it there until there was a knock from the other side of the door. It was Nick’s mom.