I wrote this when I was in class and a cloud came over the sun. It really made me unhappy, and I...
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We live in the land of everlasting night
I stare out at the sky. It has been so long since the sun's warm rays touched this earth. I would like to know what sun rays feel like, I would like to feel them warm against my skin. That will never be though. The sun went out many years ago, those who felt it's rays have long been buried under the cold earth. With them went the memories of what the sun's rays felt like.
We now live in the land of everlasting night. There is no moon, only stars. We live inside, so we are all very pale creatures. The wars we fight with one and other are fought under florescent light. I have never fought a war. I have never even left this compound. I have never felt the wind in my hair, or felt the rain against my skin, or touched the soil. I look out at the night now, and press my fingers against the cold glass and watch the stars. If you watch them long enough, you see shooting stars. They make me happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy because shooting stars are beautiful as they streak across the dark sky; I'm sad because they mean the death of a star. I heard once that in order for something to begin, something else has to end. That makes me wonder, what will begin when I end?
"Are you alright now?" The groom asks. I turn away from the stars and nod. "You don't say much, do you?" He asks, more to himself then to me. I look away from him and out the window again. I wish I could leave this place.
"I'm going to work now, if you need anything, call." He says, I hear him leave. He is a military official, so he works often. I'm glad of that, I don't like him. Soon he will try to touch me. I can't bare the thought of that. His voice hurts my ears, his touch would burn my skin. I stare up at the stars, hoping for a comet to rush down and hit me. That would be nice. To die, to die in a beautiful way. That would end my life with something beautiful. That's what I want. To end with something beautiful. That way, something good would come of my existence.
"Amora!" That voice starts my heart pounding. I leap from where I'm sitting and into his arms.
"Steven! Steven!" I bury my face in his chest and hold him close to me. I breath his smell.
"Did he hurt you? I'll kill him!" Steven growls.
"No. No he did nothing to me. Steven, I thought you were dead and I wanted to die!" He puts his arms around me. I look up at him.
"Don't say that, please don't say that!" He says, his voice soft now.
"It's true! Without you | don't want to live."
"Don't say that." He repeats and holds me closer. "When I die, I want to know you're alive, and that you'll keep on living."
"I'd kill myself! You wouldn't be able to stop me!" I say into his chest. "I'd join you on the other side wether if you wanted me too or not!"
"You're so contrary." He mutters.
"I am surprised they didn't kill you actually."
"They locked me up, and made me feel a bit miserable, but that was it."
"What did they do?" I ask him. He doesn't say anything. that means it was pretty bad. He always does that. If he is ever hurt he clams up and won't say anything. It's like, if he's ever hurt he views it as a secret. "Well at least you're in one piece."
"Run away with me." He says. I take a step backwards and let go of him.
"Don't talk like that."
"Run away with me!" He repeats, his eyes Wild.
"Don't say things like that when you know it can never be."
"No. We'd be killed, straight away. We would get lost and starve. We can't Steven!" i sigh and avoid his eyes. "It's impossible."
"Nothing is impossible."
"We'd be found, in a matter of hours. Then we'd be hunted with dogs and shot. "
"but imagine if we weren't! Imagine that! We could be together, we could be happy!"
"Stop! Just stop!" I push him away but he holds me fast.
"Listen to me! Don't you want that? Don't you want to be with me?"
"Yes, of course I do, but I know it can never be." He lets me go and I walk away. Then he grabs me again. He's mad now.
"You're mine! Not his!"
"Is that what this is about?" I glare up into his eyes. He glares down at me furiously. "Don't get us killed because you're jealous."
"Yeah, I am jealous! You've gone and married another man!"
"You think I had a choice?And what do you mean 'another man' you're a boy!" I snap.
"He lays a hand on just one hair on your head and I'll kill him."
"Oh go away, you couldn't even if you wanted to."
"Is that a challenge?"
"No. Just a fact. Stop being angry, you remind me of an animal."
"You don't want to know."
"Run away with me." He says again.
"No. Let me go."
"What now he's in the picture you don't want me to hold you?" He growls.
"You're squeezing me and talking nonsense. I don't want to be married to him Steven, do I have to spell it out for you?" He lets me go and I stumble backwards slightly before regaining my balance.
"We could simply disappear into the night. They might not catch us you know, if we were quiet and quick. We could get away from here, find a shelter or something, then food."
"You're crazy! There is no food out there! There is no shelter! There is just night, and we are not accustomed to it! If they did not kill us mother nature would."
"People have survived worse things. Perhaps we would not die. I know it's a chance, a small one at that. But at least it's a chance! Isn't it worth it, to try?"
"Stop talking that way, you might actually convince me."
"Amora, You need me and you love me. I need and love you in return."
"Amora, don't you see what will happen if we will remain here? I will be killed eventually, your husband will grow tired of waiting and force himself upon you. Come with me. I will go. I can't leave you behind Amora, I can't. "
"They can beat us, they can kill us, but they will never destroy our love Amora, never!" He says. I try to walk away. I can't let him put false ideas into my mind.
"Remember when we were children? Do you remember that? All we had was each other, it was you and me against the world. We used to be on the same wave length. It was like we were the same person. Do you remember that?"
"Steven stop it." I mutter, avoiding his eyes.
"We have that again, we could! Just you and me. Imagine it Amora, you and me, together in the dark. We could go to a place they'd never find us. We could build a life, just you and me. Imagine it! We could grow old together, be free together. You want to, I know you do! You want to get out of this compound, feel the wind, the rain and the earth. This life is not for people like you and me, misery will kill us if they don't first."
"Steven, I love you and you know it. But running away will just get us killed. I would rather live like this, and at least live my your side then die. We are together."
"No, we're not."
"Yes, we are. Right here, right now, we are together."
"But how long will this last Amora, a few hours?"
"How long will we last out there? In the wilderness!" I point to the window. He rushes towards me and wraps me up in his arms and kisses me. I hold him close to me, hoping he will give up on his foolish dreams.
"I love you." He holds me closer and whispers to me.
"I love you too." I whisper back.
"Then run away with me."
"Steven, you know it's not possible. Stop being foolish!" I'm almost begging him now, begging him to stop because he's almost convinced me. He squeezes me closer.
"Maybe I am being foolish, but I feel it is the only way I can live. I can't live in a world where you aren't mine. I can't! Because without you there is no reason for me to live, you are my life Amora. I need no sun when I have you, you are my light."
"You know I love you Steven. I love you more then words can say, my love for you is stronger then any words can be. I love you with all my heart and all my being."
"Please, please Amora, run away with me!"
"Alright, alright. I will, you win. I will go." I whisper. He kisses me again. Then holds me close to him. I press my face into his chest again and breath slowly. Even if I die, at least I die for a reason. If I die I die for my love, and for freedom.