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Damned Forever

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 18 Next »

Prologue

His smoldering eyes glared at me, I did nothing to look away. His perfect face was a reflection of his curse; his ember eyes blazed with such rage. I stepped back, the castle's arch behind me, only a few more moments and I'd be somewhere where he -nor the others- could follow.
Not until sundown, that gave me a few hours head start; I would catch a plane and then confuse my scent with anything and everything I could find. They'd never catch me; I was too smart for them, they were quick but, I'd learnt their weaknesses. Sunlight was one of them and Doom knew what I was doing.
I stepped back again, my plain black dress dragged along the ground, covering my bare, bloody feet. The stone floor was harshly cold and jagged so much that it cut into my skin, my blood was seeping through those cuts and Ash's eyes were beginning to change. Now his stare was hungry, but, he'd never hurt me; I gripped the vial in my hand, the light blue gas-like substance was all I needed, then I was free.
My soul was back in my possession but not in my body. I stepped back one last time, the rising sun was still hidden but it was beaming taunting behind me, about to seep into the castles windows that would be locked down by the others trapped here.
"Please," Ash pleaded his voice helpless. His beautiful face looked at me, his perfect porcelain face held no flaws, not even to vampire eyes. He truly was too perfect and that hurt me, the words slipped out.
"Burn in hell" then I stepped back and the ground vanished from under me, I was falling.
The waster below rushed up to meet me until I landed with an explosion of water, the vial still tightly in my grasp; the dress was too heavy.
I was drowning.
I began tearing furiously at the material until it pulled away, leaving only the strapless body suit. I kicked hurriedly, my lungs screaming for air as I surfaced, taking in deep breathes that my lungs longed for.
I swam to the shore quickly, not stopping as I threw myself into a run. The dead trees scraped at my bare arms, legs and face; my midnight hair lashed at my light blue eyes violently, as if it wanted me to stay back at the castle.
I pushed harder, this was the end; a cliff was coming up. I ran faster, hoping the momentum would help me over the long drop.
It gained on me.
As my foot hit the ledge, I used everything I had and threw myself over the edge and extended my hand, hoping to catch the opposite edge.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 18 Next »


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This book has 14 comments. Post your own!

Jaguar17 said...
Mar. 3, 2013 at 1:21 am:
WOW! love it, seriosly, write fast! If I don't read the next book soon I will die!
 
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DEROSSETT said...
Nov. 8, 2011 at 7:47 pm:
THis is like amazing.  I will be looking for the sequal.  write fast:)
 
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DanielleMitchell said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 8:40 am:
Yes sorry about the mistakes, when the spell check was going through it was changing everything throughout the chapters, so I'm going to have to go through it again and fix everything. I'm sorry for the inconvinence. :)
 
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ButterflyKiss said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm:
Oh my GOD. You had me hooked at the first chapter! I find your idea refreshing from all the boring vampire stories piled up on my shelf. :) Five stars!
 
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Steph0804 said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 10:58 am:

I've only read up to chapter 6, but I'm loving it! The only criticism is that you seem to be missing a lot of punctuation, and all the "ook" verbs "look, book..." are messed up "loOK, boOK...", and you have a few spelling mistakes ("shutter" for "shudder"...).

But the story is amazing. Keep writing!

 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 10:59 am :
("reflex" for "reflects")
 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:00 am :
Question: doesn't black absorb sunlight and white reflect it?
 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:08 am :
Hm... you have a couple run-on sentences...
 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:29 am :
The plot has a lot of twists and turns... first Halo is crying, helpless, with the vampires... suddenly she's cheeky, courageous, and she's a werewolf campaigning against her fianceĢ...
 
Steph0804 replied...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 11:37 am :
Wait-- what happened between chapter 14 and 15? First she's cradling the little angel-baby in her arms, and then she's jumping off a cliff...
 
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DanielleMitchell said...
Oct. 2, 2011 at 9:47 pm:
haha, that's sweet. and im working on it as we speak :)
 
Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:35 pm :
I didn't read the entire thing, but what I thought was good. "My soul was back in my posession, but not in my body." I really liked that. =)
 
Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 3, 2011 at 6:36 pm :
My previous comment should read, I didn't read the whole thing, but what I did read was good. I mistyped the first one. Anyway, 5 stars. =)
 
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CresentShadowThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm:
I need more! (:
 
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