I wrote this book a little of a year ago in my spare time. It was just for fun and I started...
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Kristen Dollsworth: Life Destroyer, Relationship Ender, Man Stealer
Kristen sat across the table from Andrew at her usual table in James Ivory, her favorite fancy restaurant. Kristen’s mother used to bring her to this restaurant for her birthday every year, until Kristen decided that her mom needed to get more imaginative and do something different every year. Andrew was chewing on a huge mouthful of pasta, red sauce dripping down his chin, and Kristen watched in disgust. She knew she needed to dump him, and she didn’t know why she hadn’t done it already.
“Andrew, I need to talk to you about something…” Kristen began, rearranging her napkin on her lap. She hadn’t even touched her salad yet, she hadn’t planned on actually staying for too long on this “date”. She wondered how many calories were even in their salads, she couldn’t risk taking a bite. What if it was over two hundred calories? Then it would totally blow her diet calorie count for the day and she’d have to throw it up. It just wasn’t worth it.
“What’s that?” He asked, still chewing on the pasta. He wiped his chin with his napkin and set it down on the table.
“You and me…I just…” Kristen trailed off, wondering how to phrase it. She didn’t want to be too rude, she didn’t want to hurt Andrew. He was a nice guy and all, he just wasn’t right for her…good enough for her. She crinkled her nose at the dirty napkin that was just centimeters from her fork.
Andrew waited, shoving in another mouthful of pasta, oblivious to how disgusting he was being right now. Kristen took a deep breath, this couldn’t last any longer, she couldn’t take it. “You and I aren’t working out Andrew.” She shrugged and smiled sincerely. “I’m sorry.” She added as she picked up her purse and rose to her feet. “I’ll see you at school.”
“Wait!” Andrew demanded before Kristen had the chance to escape. She turned to face him, waiting. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“Yes. I’m sorry Andrew.” Kristen smiled as if she cared and walked out of the restaurant quickly, before Andrew had the chance to speak again. She sighed in relief, a huge load lifted off her shoulders, and she headed over to her car. It was a good thing she’d asked him to meet her here, otherwise she wouldn’t have a ride home.
She jumped in the driver’s seat, started the engine, buckled her seat buckle, and dialed Sarah Mae’s number.
“Hello?” Sarah Mae answered.
“Hey Sarah! Guess who I just dumped!” Kristen sing songed as she pulled out of the James and Ivory parking lot.
“Finally.” Sarah Mae laughed once.
As Kristen began to pull out of the parking lot another car began to back out. She blared her horn and the car stopped mere inches from her mirror. “S***! You moron!” Kristen yelled as she honked her horn a few more times.
“Are you in the car Kristen? You shouldn’t be on the phone.” Sarah Mae lectured.
“Well fine b****. When did you join the police force?” Kristen rolled her eyes as she pulled out into the intersection.
“Goodbye Kristen. Call me when you’re home.” Sarah Mae suggested.
“Well now you’ve pissed me off, so maybe I won’t.” Kristen teased.
“Bye slut-bag.” Sarah laughed once.
“Back at ya bee-yotch!” Kristen laughed and they both hung the phone up at the same time.
Kristen arrived at her house minutes later. She parked her car in the garage and went straight up to her room. It was seven p.m. and it was a Tuesday night. She sighed at the sad situation. Tuesday nights sucked.
Like clockwork her phone buzzed, it was Sarah Mae. “Yes b****?” Kristen answered, flopping down on her bed.
“I think I’ve got something to cheer you up.” Sarah Mae explained. Kristen examined her nails that were in a desperate need of a manicure. She bit her lip.
“Who says I need to be cheered up?” She demanded, rolling onto her back. “I’m perfectly…cheery.”
“Sure you are. You’re bummed because you’re single for the first time since grade school.” Sarah reminded her.
“I broke up with him remember? It was my choice. So no I’m not pissed about being single, it’s actually kind of exciting.” Kristen shrugged. “I can make out with any guy that I want and not have to be tied down by a relationship. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner.”
“You slut.” Sarah Mae laughed once. “Do you want my news or not?”
“What is it?” Kristen exhaled dramatically.
“I know someone who just might be interested in you.”
“If this is some dork from the chess club I don’t even want to hear the joke.” Kristen rolled her eyes and kicked her heels off onto the floor. With a dull thump they hit the floor, one flying under her bed. She groaned and begrudgingly bend down and dug it out. She did not need her favorite wedge heels to be covered in disgusting dust. She tossed the shoe over to her closet and lied back down on her back.
“How about Parker Patterson?” Sarah Mae asked in a smug voice.
“Parker Patterson?” Kristen asked, sitting up quickly. “You mean Parker-Parker? That jock that screwed Beth and broke her and Aaron up?” She demanded.
“That’s the one.” Sarah agreed.
“And he wants to go out with me?” Kristen demanded. “Then why the hell hasn’t he asked me out yet?”
“Because you were still dating Andrew!” Sarah Mae reminded her, laughing slightly.
“That didn’t stop him before…” Kristen mumbled, shaking her head. “Anyway what should I do? Should I ask him out, go to talk to him, what? Is he gonna ask me out?”
“I don’t know, I just thought I should tell you.”
“Where did you hear it? Who told you?” Kristen demanded, rising to her feet in excitement. Not only was Parker extremely hot, but it would sure piss Beth off.
“Parker’s friend, that Jack guy whose on the football team.” Sarah explained.
“Well, tell Jack to get Parker to ask me out tomorrow.” Kristen instructed, pacing back and forth.
“Tomorrow? But you just dumped Andrew, what, twenty minutes ago?”
“More like ten.” Kristen shrugged. She’d completely forgotten about Andrew. “Who cares? Tomorrow.”
“Whatever.” Sarah Mae sighed and hung up at the same time as Kristen.
Kristen tossed her phone onto her bed and let out a small scream. She danced around for a little bit, thinking about Parker. He was hot, a football star, and Beth was going to be so pissed when she heard.
Kristen smiled to herself. She really has gotten Beth good in the past couple of days. First with that picture at the movie theater, then with Aaron, and now Parker. Life couldn’t get better. She wondered if she needed to watch her back, after all, Beth wasn’t one to let s*** happen to her without inflicting twice as much. And she had even more reasons to hate Kristen then she did before. Then again, revenge was Kristen’s favorite game.
But Kristen didn’t want to think about Beth right now, she was going to have a new boyfriend by tomorrow, and it was going to be Parker Patterson of all boys. She jumped at the buzzing of her cell phone. The screen said it was an unknown number; she hesitantly answered it.
“Hey Kristen. It’s Parker. Parker Patterson.” Parker spoke in an excited voice.
It took all Kristen had not to drop the phone and scream. “Oh, hey Parker.” She responded casually.
“I hope you don’t mind, I got your number from Sarah Mae.” He explained.
Kristen’s jaw dropped. That b****! She didn’t tell her that she gave Parker her number! How could she hold back that kind of valuable information? “Oh yeah, that’s fine. So what’s up?” She asked, trying not to sound angry.
“Well, I heard you and Andrew broke up.” He went on.
“Yeah we did.” Kristen responded quickly, wishing he would just ask her out already. She hated waiting and she hated suspense. The boy just needed to get on with it.
“Oh, well, I’m sorry about that.” Parker responded, though he didn’t sound sorry at all.
“I’m not.” Kristen replied. “It wasn’t working out. Andrew’s a great guy, just not right for me. He wasn’t my type.”
“Then what is your type?” Parker flirted.
“Well, I like jocks.” She smiled, hoping she didn’t sound too obvious. “And he has to be funny, and fun to be around. Boring guys have no chance with me.”
“Damn, I guess you’d never date me then huh?” Parker played along.
“Sorry.” Kristen played along. “If only you were a football player and funny. Too bad.”
“That is too bad, because I was actually calling to see if you’d go out with me.” Parker admitted, though his voice still sounded extremely calky and arrogant.
“Oh were you?” Kristen acted as if it were a surprise and grinned to herself.
“So what do you say? I know I’m not exactly your type, I know I’m missing a few of the qualities, but maybe you can make an exception because of my amazing good looks.”
“Or maybe because of your amazing modesty.” Kristen laughed.
“That too.” Parker agreed.
“Gee, I don’t know Parker. I’d really be taking a jump for you.” Kristen trailed off, waiting for him to actually ask her. She wasn’t going to settle for vagueness.
“Come on Kristen, please?” He laughed.
“I don’t know…” Kristen trailed off, wondering if he was actually going to ask her in so many words.
“Kristen, in all seriousness, will you go out with me?” Parker asked after a moment of silence.
Kristen grinned, covered the phone, and exhaled loudly. “Finally.” She whispered and then put the phone back up against her ear. “I’d love to.” She responded with a huge smile.
It was almost as if it weren’t even worth trying to piss Beth off anymore, she was just so far behind and losing so miserably that it wasn’t as much fun anymore. But revenge was still her favorite hobby, and no matter how far behind Beth got in the game, she’d never stop.