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Dawna's Story

Author's note: Personal experiance.
Author's note: Personal experiance.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »

Chapter 1

One rainy day Dawna was in her room talking to some friends on the computer when someone sent her a message asking if she wanted to talk. She replied back saying she would love to. He sent her and instant message and said, "Hey, what's up?"
Dawna replied, "Not much, you?"
"Same. I was wondering if you had any messengers, so we can talk easier?" asked Kevin.
She answered, "Yes. I have yahoo and MSN. Which one do you have?"
"I've got the same ones you do." She gave him her
Be as honest as possible on what to fix please!!
details for yahoo and MSN, and a couple of minutes later, she got a message.
"Hey again. Lol," joked Kevin.
"Are you dating anyone?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"Because I was wondering, if you weren't, if you would go out with me?" Before she could answer her sisters, Kate and Hilary, came in yelling at each other.
Dawna turned around and said, "What are you two fighting about now?"
Kate complained, "She took my toy."
"I did not!" argued Hilary. They started fighting again.
"I don't care who did what! You both go to your rooms and I will be in to talk to you!" demanded Dawna. They did as they were told and, quietly, went to their rooms. She turned back around and told him she would be right back.
First, she went to Hilary's room and got her side of what happened. Then, she went to Kate's room and got her side. Finally, she went told them both to play by themselves for awhile.
When she got back to her room she told Kevin she was back.
Kevin asked, "What happened?"
She answered, "My sisters wer fighting over a toy."
He laughed and asked, "How old are they?"
"Five and six."
"Oh, so would you?"
"Go out with me?"
"I don't know. Let me think about it." He agreed.
"I need to know more about you first."
"What do you want to know?"
"I don't know. Everything important."
"Well I'm a 17 year old in New York."
"Cool. I'm a 16 year old in Pennsylvania."
"Cool. Now will you?"
"Let me think about it." After not saying anything for awhile, Kate and Hilary ran in the room laughing.
They asked, "Can we play now?"
Dawna replied, "Only if you don't start fighting." They agreed and ran off.
A few minutes later Kevin asked, "Now will you?"
She answered, "I gotta go, but I'll tell you the answer tomorrow."
"What time will you be here?"
"Probably about 3:30." After telling her friends bye, she went to see what Kate and Hilary were doing.
When she went in the living room, the floor was a mess, so she went to find them. She found Kate in the kitchen with ice cream everywhere. Then she found hilary in the basement with toys all over the floor. She took Hilary upstairs to the kitchen, so she could clean the ice cream off of Kate. Then she took them both up to her room.
She put them on her bed and got her computer chair to sit in.
"Girls, I'm very upset with you right now," she exclaimed, "I was going to take the park and out for lunch, but now we have to clean the house." She figured since they made the mess they should clean it up.
"You both are going to clean up all the toys in the basement. When you're done start on the living room. I will be in the kitchen cleaning up the ice cream." After they agreed, they all went downstairs and got to work.
Five minutes after they started cleaning Dawna heard them arguing, so she went to the basement stairs and yelled, "Stop arguing and clean!" An hour later they came upstairs to the living room and started cleaning. As they were finishing the phone rang, so Dawna ran over to answer it.
The person said, "Hi, its Olivia. Rebecca's mom."
Dawna said, "Oh, hey."
"I was wondering if Kate and Hilary could stay the night with Rebecca?"
"Yeah. I need a break from them anyway."
"I'll be over in a little bit to pick them up." They hung up and Dawna went in the living room.
When she got in there she said, "Olivia will be here in a little bit, so go upstairs and pack a bag." Before they put their clothes in a bag she made sure they matched After that they put their shoes on and went downstairs.
Five minutes later Olivia rang the doorbell, so Dawna went to answer it. When she opened the door Rebecca asked, "Where's Kate and Hilary?"
"They're in the living room. Would you go get them for me, while I talk to you mom, please?" Rebecca ran to the living room and Dawna said, "Thanks for taking them."
Olivia replied, "No problem. Rebecca wanted them to come over, but I thought they would have more fun staying the night." Before they could say anything else the girls came in laughing.
Olivia asked, "Are you ready?" Before they left Dawna told them to be good and hugged them. After they were gone Dawna went to the living room and finished cleaning.
After that she got her cell phone and called her best friend, Elizabeth. When she answered Dawna asked, "Hey, do you want to stay the night?"
"Don't you have to watch your sisters?"
"I did, but their friend, Rebecca, wanted them to stay the night."
"Oh. Hang on and I'll ask my mom." A few minutes later Elizabeth said, " I'll be over in ten minutes."
After they hung up Dawna went to the kitchen and got two Mountain Dew's and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Then she went upstairs to pick out a movie. When she got one she went back downstairs and put the popcorn in a bowl and took it upstairs. By the time she got back downstairs the doorbell rang. She figured it was Elizabeth, but when she opened the door a delivery guy was standing there with a bouquet of red roses. She signed for them and took them up to her room. The doorbell rang again before she could read the card.
When she opened the door Elizabeth was standing there with her overnight bag and a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Elizabeth said, "These were by the door." They went upstairs and Elizabeth put her bag in the guest room.
When she went in Dawna's room she asked, "Who are the chocolates from?"
Dawna answered, "A guy I met online."
"Why would he send you chocolates?"
"Because he wants me to go out with him."
"Are you going to?"
"I haven't decided yet."
"What's his name? Where's he from?" interrogated Elizabeth.
"His name is Kevin and he lives in New York."
"Cool. We should see if he's online now."
They went over to Dawna's computer and signed in. As soon as it got done loading an instant message came up.
Kevin said, "Hey, baby. I didn't think you would be on until tomorrow."
"I'm not your baby," she retorted. "My best friend, Elizabeth, wanted to see if you were on."
"I can dream. So you've been talking about me?"
"She asked who sent the chocolates and roses."
"What chocolates and roses?"
"The ones you sent me."
"I didn't send you any roses. I sent you the chocolates."
She turned to Elizabeth and asked, "Who sent the roses then?"
Elizabeth replied, "I don't know." When she turned back to the computer she said, "Well, we're going to go watch a movie." They said bye and signed out. Then they went over to Dawna's bed and sat down.
Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang, so Dawna ran to answer it. When she opened the door Isabella, her other best friend, was standing there with black tears runn down her face.
Dawna sympathetically said, "Come in and tell me what's wrong." She came in and Dawna closed the door.
When they got up to Dawna's room, Elizabeth turned the movie off and grabbed the box of tissues next to the bed. They all sat down and Dawna asked, "What's wrong?"
"Jesse broke up with me!" cried Isabella.
"Why?" asked Elizabeth.
Isabella said," He said he found someone else."
Dawna asked, "Who?"
Isabella answered, "Cheyanne."
Elizabeth got up and said, "Dawna, come with me. I have an idea."
As soon as the door closed in the guest room, Elizabeth suggested, "We should see if she can stay the night."
Dawna agreed, "Then we can go out tomorrow."
"I'll call her mom and tell her what's going on."
"I'll go try to get her to calm down." Elizabeth went downstairs and Dawna went back to her room.
When Isabella's mom, Lauren, answered Elizabeth said, "Hey, its Elizabeth. I was wondering if Isabella could stay the night at Dawna's?"
Lauren agreed, "What's going on?"
"She came here crying because Jesse broke up with her."
"Tell her she can stay as long as she wants." After they hung up she went upstairs. As she was going up the stairs Dawna stopped her and suggested they go in the kitchen while Isabella was talking to Jesse.
Twenty minutes after they got to the kitchen, Isabella came downstairs and said, "He's coming over to get me, so we can talk."
"Will you be back tonight?" asked Dawna.
"I'm not sure," answered Isabella.
"I called your mom to see if you could stay the night and she said you could stay as long as you want," Elizabeth told her.
"We can do something tomorrow," said Isabella.
The doorbell rang three times by the time Dawna got to it, so she knew it was Jesse. As soon as she opened the door he asked, " Where's Isabella?"
Dawna replied, "Upstairs getting ready."
"Well, tell her to hurry up. I've got other things to do."
"Stop acting like a jerk! Your friends aren't here, but someone who really loves you is." He just stood there, so she continued, "Do you love her?"
He looked around before saying, "Yes."
"Then why did you break up with her? Why do you act like she's not important when you're around your friends?"
"I don't know."
"When I opened the door earlier she had make-up running down her face. All she ever does is talk about you." Before he could say anything Isabella came around the corner and asked, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," he said after looking at Dawna. She turned to Dawna and said, "If I'm not back tonight, I'll see you tomorrow."
Dawna agreed, "Are you sure your going to be ok?" She nodded. After saying bye Dawna shut the door behind them.
She went up to her room and they agreed to watch rest of the movie. An hour later the phone rang, so Dawna got up and answered it.
"Hey, can you come get me please?" cried Isabella.
"Where are you?" asked Dawna.
"His friend, Chris's."
"What happened? Where's Jesse?"
"He left with his friend, Chad."
"We'll be there in twenty minutes." She ran upstairs and shut the tv off.
"What's wrong?" asked Elizabeth, when she noticed Dawna was irritated.
"I have to go get Isabella from Chris's."
"He left with Chad."
"I'll come with you." They got their purses and left.
When they got to Chris's Dawna told Elizabeth she would go get Isabella. When Chris opened the door she asked, "Where is she?"
Chris answered, "Downstairs." She went downstairs and asked if she was ready. Isabella looked up and nodded. Before they left she turned to Miranda, a friend of theirs, and said, "Thanks for staying with me."
Miranda replied, "No problem. If Jesse's going to be a jerk then he doesn't deserve you."
In the car Elizabeth asked, "Why did Jesse leave you at Chris's?
"Chad was there, so he acted like he didn't know me."
"Miranda's right, if he's going to act like a jerk he doesn't deserve you," Dawna pointed out. By the time they got home they were tired, so they decided to go to bed.
The next morning, when they got up, they each took a shower and got ready to leave. Three hours later they were in the car heading to the mall. When they got there Dawna asked, "What do you want to do first?"
They looked at each other and exclaimed," Shopping!" They laughed and headed up to their favorite store. By the time they were done they each had five bags to carry. They decided to go up to the fourth level and get something to eat. When they got upp there Dawna and Elizabeth looked around and saw Jesse with Cheyanne. They looked over at Isabella, who's mouth was open with tears in her eyes. They took her to the bathroom before she started crying.
After they got her in the bathroom Dawna told them she would be right back. Elizabeth asked where she was going, but Dawna was already out of the door. She went up to Jesse and exclaimed, "We need to talk now!"
Jesse retorted, "I'll talk later. I'm busy now."
"We're talking now. She can wait." Jesse glared at her and got up. They went around the corner and she exclaimed, "What are you doing?!"
"Hanging out with a friend."
"We just saw you kissing her." When he didn't say anything she went on saying, "Did you not listen to what I said last night?" Instead of waiting for him to answer she got her phone out and called Elizabeth.
As soon as she answered Liz asked, "Where are you?"
"Is she ok enough to talk?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because Jesse wants to talk to her."
Isabella said, "Hey, where are you?"
"Here's Jesse." She gave him the phone and said, "Talk to her."
He glared at her before saying, "Are you ok?"
An hour later they were all in the food court laughing. Dawna looked at the clock and said, "I have to go. I have to be home by 3:30."
Liz said, "I'll come with you."
Isabella said," I'm staying with Jesse. We should do something later though."
Dawna agreed, "Call us in a few hours and let us know what you want to do." After they said bye Dawna and Liz left.
Thirty minutes later they got out of the car and went up to Dawna's room. When she looked at the clock it said 3:35. She sat down at her desk and Elizabeth sat in the chair next to it. A few minutes after they signed in Kevin messaged her.
"Hey, sorry I'm late," she apologized. "I was at the mall with some friends."
Kevin said, "Its fine. I have to go, but do you have a cell phone?"
"Can I have the number?" After she gave him the number he signed out and she turned around.
Liz asked, "Now what?"
"I need to call Olivia to see when I need to pick up my sisters."
When they got downstairs to the kitchen Dawna looked at the answering machine and saw there were two messages. She pushed the play button and listened to them. One was from Olivia and the other was from her ex-boyfriend. She picked up the phone and called Luke, her ex, to see what he wanted.
When he answered she asked, "What did you want?"
Luke replied, "To talk."
"Because I wanted to."
"Because I miss you. Can I come over, so we can talk?"
"Yeah, but you only have twenty minutes."
"I'll be there in five." They hung up and she said, "Luke's coming over."
Elizabeth asked, "Why?"
"To talk."
"Isabella called and asked if we wanted to go see a movie with them."
"What did you tell her?"
"That we would meet them there in thirty minutes."
"I'm going to see if Olivia can keep the girls til seven then."
"I'm going upstairs to get ready." Dawna picked up the phone and called Olivia. As soon as Olivia answered she said, "Hey, could you watch Kate and Hilary until seven. I was going to go out with some friends."
Olivia agreed, "Before I forget your mom said Rebecca could stay with you for two weeks. I have to go out of town."
"Ok. I'll see you at seven."
By the time they hung up the doorbell rang, so she ran to the door and opened it. Luke was standing there with a dzen roses.
"You can add these to the ones you got last night."
"How did you know I got roses last night?"
"Because I sent them to you."
"Didn't you read the card?" With everything that's been going on she forgot about the card, so she shook her head.
"Well read it."
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Us getting back together."
"I don't have time to talk about this right now."
"When can we?"
"I don't know. I have to go get ready."
"Where are you going?"
"None of your business." Before he had a chance to answer she pushed him out of the door and closed it. She made sure it was locked before she went to her room.
When she got up to her room Elizabeth said, "What did Luke want?"
"He wants to get back together."
"We better get going or we're going to miss the movie." They grabbed their purses and left.
By the time they parked the car they had five minutes to get inside. As they were going in Dawna's phone rang. She got her phone out of her purse and saw she had three texts. One from Isabella, one from Kevin, and the last one from Luke.
Isabella's read, "Where are you?"
She replied, "Outside."
Kevin's read, "What are you doing this weekend?"
She replied, "I don't know. Why?"
Luke's read, "Will you give me another chance please?"
She replied, "Be at my house at 7:30 and we will talk about it." By the time she sent it she had two more.
Isabella's read, "Hurry up."
Kevin's read, "Because if you weren't doing anything I wanted to come see you."
She replied, "I don't think I'm doing anything." They went inside to buy their tickets and watch the movie.
Three hours later they were in the lobby laughing. Dawna looked at her phone and saw it was 6:45.
She said, "I have fifteen minutes to get to Olivia's." Liz told her she would come with her, so they said bye and left.
Fifteen minutes later they pulled into Olivia's driveway. Dawna got out and went to the door. A minute after she rang the doorbell, Olivia opened it and told her to come in while she ran up to get the girls. Dawna went in and closed the door. After a few minutes they came downstairs ready to go. They left after telling Olivia bye.
When they got home there was a red car in the driveway. Dawna pulled in next to it and everyone except Dawna went to the door. As soon as Luke opened the door to his car, Kate and Hilary ran up to him and hugged him.
Kate asked, "Why are you here?"
"To talk to Dawna," answered Luke.
"Let's go inside," suggested Dawna. They all went in and sat in the living room. After they talked for an hour Dawna said, " I think its time for bed, girls."
"I'll put them to bed, so you two can talk," offered Elizabeth.
"Thanks. Could you get the other gues room ready for Rebecca please?"
"Girl, tell Luke and Dawna goodnight and let's get ready for bed." They did as they were told and headed upstairs. After they were gone Luke said, "So why won't you take me back?"
"Why do you want to get back together?"
"Because I love you."
"Why did you cheat on me then?"
"I don't know. It was stupid and I'm sorry. I've changed since then and I will never do it again."
She sighed, "How do I know you've changed?"
"I'll prove it to you. I just need a second chance." She thought about it for a few minutes before saying, "I need to check on the girls, so we'll talk more about it later." After he left she went up to check on her sisters and Rebecca.
Hilary and Rebecca were asleep. When she went to Kate's room she was sitting on her bed coloring.
Dawna asked, "What do you think you're doing?"
Kate jumped and replied, "Nothing."
"It looks like you're coloring. You're suppose to be sleeping."
"I wasn't tired."
"I don't care. You better be asleep by the time I come back." She closed the door and went to her room.
As soon as she got in her room she closed the door and Elizabeth, who was on the computer, turned around. Dawna asked her what was wrong.
Elizabeth replied, "Is it ok if I stay her for awhile?"
"Of course. Why?"
"I don't really want to talk about it."
"Well I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks. So what happened with Luke?"
"He wants another chance, but I don't know."
"Do you want to give him another chance?"
"Yes, but I can't trust him."
"Do you still love him?"
"Of course I do. I never stopped." Elizabeth didn't say anything, so Dawna said, "I need to go check on Kate. Then I'll probably go to bed." They both left the room.
Dawna opened Kate's door and saw she was asleep. She went in and put the crayons and coloring books away. Then she turned out the light and left the room.
The next morning Dawna went downstairs to find Elizabeth in the living room with her sisters and Rebecca.
"Hey, let's get dressed and I'll take everyone out for breakfast. Then maybe go to the park," suggested Dawna. They agreed and went upstairs to get ready.
They decided to go to their favorite cafe, where they sat at a table in the corner. After they ordered Dawna gave each of the girls a dollar and told them to go play some games. After they left she asked, "What am I going to do about Luke and Kevin?"
"Who do you want to be with?"
"Luke, but I don't want to be cheated on again."
"How about Isabella, you and I go get out hair and nails done, while Luke watches the girls?" Dawna agreed.
"I'll call Isabella while you call Luke."
Dawna got her phone out and called Luke. When he answered she said, "Hey, could you watch the girls please?"
"Meet us at the park in two hours." He agreed and hung up.
Twenty minutes after she hung up the girls came back. She told them Luke was going to watch them for awhile.
"Why?" asked Hilary.
"Elizabeth, Isabella, and I are going to get our hair and nails done." After they ate they went to the park.
When they got there Dawna let them out, so they could get a spot while she parked. Luke got out of his car as she walked past.
"I didn't think you were coming until one?"
"I wanted to spend time with you, so I came early." They went over to Elizabeth and sat down. About 12:30 her phone rang, so she picked it up. She got a text from Isabella that read, "Can Jesse come with us?"
She replied, "Maybe he would rather help Luke watch the girls?"
Isabella texted back, "Can you come get us then?"
Dawna replied, "I'll be there in about twenty minutes." She got up and said, "I have to go get Isabella and Jesse, so I'll be back in a few minutes."
By the time she got back it was 1:30. They got out and went to find Elizabeth and Luke. When they found them she said, "We need to go, so you can take them to my house and I'll text you when we're done." They said bye and left.
In the car she asked, "Should I have left them with him?"
Elizabeth answered, "Yes, now he can show you he can be trusted." Dawna told them to find a statipon or cd, so Elizabeth went through the radio stations while Isabella found a cd. When she found their favorite cd she had Elizabeth put it in and turn up the volume.
When they went inside the salon they went up to the front desk.
Dawna asked, "Do you have time to do highlights and manicures for all three of us?"
The lady answered, "Yes." They followed her over to three chairs. She told them to sit down while she went back to get two more stylists. An hour later they were getting their nails done. When their nails were done they went up to pay for it and went to the car. She texted Luke asking where they were.
He replied, "Your house."
"When we get there we can all go out for dinner."
Twenty minutes later they pulled in the driveway. Luke, Jesse, and the girls were in the living room playing a game. She asked if they were ready to go and they looked up before Luke said, "Let's clean up, so we can go eat." They decided to to take two cars and go to the cafe a few blocks away.
They sat at a table in the corner. After they ordered Dawna asked, "Liz, Isabella, can I talk to you in the bathroom please?" They got up and went to the bathroom.
Once they got in there Liz asked, "What's wrong?"
"I think I'm falling in love with Luke again."
"Oh my gosh! Are you serious?" exclaimed Liz.
"What do I do?"
"Calm down and act like nothings wrong." Isabella told her. They fixed their make-up and went to sit down. Luke looked at Dawna and asked, "Everything ok?"
Isabella answered, "Yeah." After they ate they paid for it and got ice cream before going to Dawna's
At Dawna's they went inside and talked for awhile. Two hours later Dawna said, "I gotta get these girls ready for bed."
"I'll help," Luke told her. She looked at Elizabeth and Isabella before agreeing.
"Ok girls, let's play a game called get upstairs and get ready for bed," suggested Luke. He chased them upstairs with Dawna following them.
By the time they got back downstairs Isabella and Jesse were leaving. Before Luke left he asked, "What was wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
"I noticed how you were acting at dinner and the way you looked at Liz and Isabella when I said I'd help with the girls."
"Oh, its nothing. I need to get back inside." She turned to go in, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. She turned to face him and they kissed.
"I gotta go," she said.
"By the way I love the highlights in you hair." She opened the door and went inside. She watched out of the window as his car pulled out of the driveway and went up the street. Then she went up to her room smiling.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 9 comments. Post your own now!

GraceTaylor12This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 13, 2017 at 10:32 pm
this is really good, the only comment i have is that it is really fast! If you add more detail, this would be even better than it is now.
imagonner said...
May 18, 2016 at 4:02 pm
hey sorry about this but, your story Is fast paced, add some more detail to what the character feels about the setting... it is a good plot, just needs working on. hey, @1-800Peppermints @SpottyLepard @Freckles3 @chloejane @BanglaGirl @AnnieHay come check out my story and comment pls!!!!
1-800Peppermints said...
Dec. 20, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Really good story.  I love the interactions between everyone, but I would definitely give a little more detail and a little less dialogue.  Just to help it flow better.   Awesome though, really.  :)
SpottyLepard said...
Jun. 27, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Nice story! The only things I would recommend is to elaborate more on the experiences and emotions of your characters. For example, instead of just saying they went to dinner and using dialogue to get the idea across to readers, add details about the experience and emotions your characters are having. Details will really make your story more alive and realistic to readers, and will also help it to be slower-paced and easier to keep up with. The dialogue is good and you have great characters, so ... (more »)
Freckles3 said...
Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:41 pm
Really great story idea, but the chapters are reaaaallly long, and the dialogue was pretty overwhelming. It seems like it's got potential, though! Keep it up!
chloejane said...
Apr. 22, 2013 at 8:34 am
Great story and plot but the dialogue needs to died down a little, especially at the beginning. Too much dialogue can often stay the attention away from the reader, it tends to bore them if their is too much and quite often the dialouge gives away too much information on the first page.
BanglaGirl said...
Dec. 11, 2012 at 10:05 am
Awesome story!
AnnieHay said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Unique story idea, just a tiny bit fast paced..:)
MzDuri replied...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:55 am
I agree w/ Annie Hay but very awsome story

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