That Summer

July 30, 2011
By Alantis SILVER, connersville, Indiana
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.


Summary:

Everything in life has been plain and boring for high-school junior Jess Hinshaw. Nothing to special has ever happened to her or in her life. Then one day she meets the handsome stranger in the record store named Gabe.
She and Gabe start off as just talking about every kinds of music there is. They talk about there favorites and all the kinds they hate. Jess starts to understand that maybe they could be more.
Once Jess and Gabe starts getting closer to Gabe she senses something is off about him. He doesn't seem the same as everyone. She rarely See's him in the day. Never See's him eat. She starts to wonder what is he...?


Alantis

That Summer


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 11 comments.


on Jun. 2 2015 at 12:29 pm
alwaysreal BRONZE, Harvey, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
Erich Fromm
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.
Albert Einstein
Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
Benjamin Franklin

The story is cute but honestly with a few more details the story could be amazing.

Dalia... GOLD said...
on Nov. 20 2013 at 10:18 pm
Dalia... GOLD, Brooklyn, New York
10 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” –Cypher Raige

MY GOD THIS IS SOOOO GOODDD!!!! I couldn't keep my eyes of the the pages. You are very creative and talented. Please do not stop writing and keep up the good work! And also please please make a part 2 to this!!! Thank you :)

on Mar. 22 2013 at 11:18 am
jadepotter BRONZE, Louisville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe there are stars that shine even after they are long extinct and some people I consider to be these stars." Hannah Senesh

it's nothing like twilight, i think the only thing it has in common is a vampire and human falling in love and that's been used many times. it's not the story line you use, it's how you use it...i think Alantis did very well...i love it...it's really neat.

Alantis SILVER said...
on Oct. 6 2011 at 3:45 pm
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.

Thank you bunches AngelOfDarkness. :)

on Sep. 14 2011 at 11:09 am
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Well, I like it way better than Twilight. That's a plus. Keep writing. And Carrie, could you critique my story, Cirque de Horror? :)

Alantis SILVER said...
on Sep. 11 2011 at 6:11 pm
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.

Thankyou tons. :) I really love this Gabe and Jess are like my babys and I love both their personalitys and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

on Sep. 11 2011 at 5:30 pm
XxEpicPandaxX BRONZE, Gainesville, Florida
3 articles 1 photo 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something let it go, If it doesn't come back it wasn't truly yours ... </3

I really liked it..... Ummm I wouldn't say its like twilight i think its better for 1 gabe doesnt sparkle hes much better of a person and another thing Gabe did not stare at her like he was going to kill her lol and  Jess isnt a big clutsy stupid person :)

on Sep. 8 2011 at 8:58 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Well, I'm sorry I gave you an honest critique.  In your thread, you asked for people's opinions and I gave you mine.  As it stands, you still need to give me feedback on three more of my pieces.

 

I realize you may not have much time to go over your work, but why submit something if you know it's not your best?  Editing is hard, yes, but it is also necessary.

 

"Maybe my book isn't for you if you find so much distaste in it."

Well, I don't particularly like romances.  But I read it anyway because you asked for a critique and I gave you my objective opinion.  A lot of the things I critique I wouldn't read unless someone asked me, but I still do it.  Why?  Because I want feedback on my work and I realize people who read my work in return for feedback probably wouldn't read it unless I aksed them to.  That's life.

 

I still stand by everything I said in my original critique.  Confronting me will not change my opinions.


Alantis SILVER said...
on Sep. 8 2011 at 7:54 pm
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.

Sorry i know my grammer has a lot of mistakes but, i have been writing this in my spare time and don't have a ton of time to go over and over it. As i said to someone in my earlier comment Twilight was my insperation and i'm not ashamed it's a lot like it. Yes it's like it in lots of ways but it is also very different. And as for my dialogue I made it that way because I like it. Maybe my book isn't for you if you find so much distaste in it.

Alantis SILVER said...
on Aug. 11 2011 at 11:52 pm
Alantis SILVER, Connersville, Indiana
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love hurts weither its right or wrong.

Thanks. Twilight was kinda my reason behind my story. :)

AnnieHay said...
on Aug. 6 2011 at 5:20 pm
AnnieHay, Glendale, New York
0 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.~Ferris Beuller
The past is the future with the lights on.~Plus 44

Reminds me alot of twilight. Good story, just a few grammar mistakes. Keep writing!




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