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The Forgotten

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 6 7 8 9 10 11 Next »

Chapter 8 : The Forgotten.

I saw something that would be rated R for gore and blood.
Adrian was on the floor, sucking the life out of a kid no older then seven.
I screamed, louder then ever.
Then I fainted, my last coherent though being : he's a vampire.

Ouch.
My head had doubled in size and I felt worse then the first time I woke up, in a small enclosed room.
I was now spread out on a black leather couch, a damp wash cloth on my forehead.
“You alright ?”
I
Please tell me what you think, I hope you enjoy :)
looked up into blank white eyes and started to open my mouth. Before I could let out a sound he clasped his hand over my mouth and shushed me.
“Don't.” He warned.
I look at him, is he a vampire? He can't be, such a thing doesn't exist.
“I deserve answers.” I say with force. I will not just sit around and wonder what will happen to me.
He sighs loudly, in defeat I guess.
“You're right, you should know, but...” He stops mid sentence and gives me a warning look, “But what I say you won't like. It's not what you want to hear.”
I look expectantly at him. And then he tells me everything that he'd been keeping inside.
“It started the year of 14, 1214. A vampire named Ramonda fell in love with a zombie, Fredrik II. Vampires have souls but if for some reason they lose it, they become zombies. A creature that has no feelings and after a few decades starts to decompose.
“They had a baby boy named Fredrik III. He then created a hybrid that was part zombie, part vampire. That person was known as Juliette. She was beautiful but also was rejected by all creatures of the night. She was different.
“Juliette finally turned to Fredrik III, deciding to live happily with him. They called themselves Forgotten. Being that they were both the same race and both were outsiders, even werewolves and witches didn't like them. They later realized that two Forgotten couldn't mate. They could create a Forgotten but not have children.
“I am like them, Leah, I am that same creature. My parents are vampire and zombie. I am a Forgotten.”
I was speechless. This was impossible.
“So wait, two Forgotten can't have kids but a vampire and a zombie can, which makes a Forgotten ?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“What about human and vampire ?”
He shakes his head.
“Human and zombie ?” Again he shakes his head.
“Vampire and a Forgotten ?”
“No.”
“Zombie and a Forgotten ?”
Again he answers no.
Ok, so only a vampire and a zombie/vampire without a soul whatever you wanted, could have a baby. And a Forgotten women, and a Forgotten man couldn't. Only create one.
“How do you create a Forgotten ?”
He shrugs, “You bite a human. Same as a vampire, you transform.”
I gasp, “So if you bite me, I'll become a Forgotten ?”
A look of gilt crosses his face.
“Uh, I kinda already did. At the bus stop.”
My eyes go wide. My mouth falls open. My heart stops beating.
“I'm still human, my eyes aren't white.”
“That comes later. When you've completed the change,” He studies me, making sure I don't pass out again, “I'm sorry.”
Why ? Why had Adrian chosen me ?
“I want to know more about Forgotten people.”
“We are immortal. We can eat and sleep. As for physical stuff, we are stronger then vampire, we also have great hearing and night vision.
“Our skin and eyes are white from the zombie genes.
“We bite humans to transform them with our fangs,
from our vampire genes.”
I sigh, this is a lot to take in.
“Do you drink blood ?” I could not imagine myself as a blood sucking leech.
“Only after we transform someone, we need to regain our strength.”
“How long does it take to become a … -like you ?”
He smiles sadly, “Well we both know that you are much stronger then before and your skin is paler. I would say about a few more days.”
I look at my hands, my skin is pale, like he said.
“Why me ?”
To that question Adrian laughs.
“Isn't it obvious Leah ? Why would I do anything for a human girl -young lady, sorry.
“Because you are the only one I went to stand eternity with.”
And with that he got up and started for the door.
“Wait, where are you going ?” I said, after having processed his previous words.”
“Leah, you need your rest. Sleep well.”
He turned back, closing the door behind him.
As blackness swallowed me up, I shed a single tear then let it all go.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 6 7 8 9 10 11 Next »


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This book has 18 comments. Post your own!

MermaidmissyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 9:35 am:
Ahh I so love this book it is very good and heartwarming all at the same time. I think you should keep writing more pages soon. Hey can you look at my stuff and see what you like I have poems and one book on this web site so check it out if you have a chance k. Thank You!! :) 
 
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EbbaRose said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 1:08 am:
Good story! And great character voice, i love it!!! can't wait to read more!
 
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NikiblueThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm:

I thought the storyline was good and suspenseful. I do have some critics though. I know that a lot of people have already mentioned the spelling errors, and also the weird arrows in the text. Secondly, I feel that a lot of the writing was a little choppy and too quick from one thing to the next. I think more emotion and details should be put in so it feels more as though the reader is there seeing it all for themselves, if that makes any sense?

 

Hopefully I wasn't just rep... (more »)

 
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Drive_it_home_with_one_headlight said...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm:
I like this a lot. The paragraphing is weird, though. It threw me off a little bit, as well as the arrows instead of the ". Is there any significance to the arrows?
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 8:43 pm :
Sorry about that, I just recently bought an American mac so the sighs changed from the arrows to ". In french we don't have " on the keyboard. Same for the paragraphes. In France books aren't presented the same way. Sorry if it caused any confusion. 
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm :
* signes.  
 
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AspiringWriter said...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm:

I love the plot; it's very unique. The summary immediately intrigued me. I'd hate to say this again, but you do have a few grammatical errors. It's nothing too big, and it definitely doesn't take away from your story. :)

 

Hmm. What else? I think that you should try adding more descriptions and emotions. Not too much. Just a little. It'll make the story more vivid, if you know what I mean.

 

Great work! :)

 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm :
Thanks !! I will try adding more description and emotions in my next chapters, I have a hard time with that sort of stuff;) Again thank you for reading !
 
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mrs. mom said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:36 pm:
as a mom, i love this story - age appropriate but exciting, fun,sensual,etc.-it's great knowing that there are those who like to write something other than "texts" - i just wonder if this writer's nightmares are as interesting - please continue
 
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renthead96 said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm:

This is an interesting story. I enjoyed the relationship you created between vampire and zombie--I'm pretty sure I haven't seen that yet. However, there are various spelling/grammar mistakes. You can always have someone else review your chapters to help check for these mistakes: a parent, a sibling, a relative, etc. Just to help with this, I've selected a few common mistakes that you've made to show what you should look for:

"He is aloud to take a break, I'm not angry with Him."more »)

 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:51 pm :
Thanks Renthead96. The next few chapters are going to be back and forth between Adrian and Darik's view, so you will get more information about the whole vampire and zombie relationship. As for the mistakes, thank you :) Keep posted for more. :) and thanks again for checking this out. It means alot to me !
 
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tealbirdThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 1:01 pm:
Ok, I'm sorry to say I only had time to read the first chapter of your novel, but I really enjoyed it. I love the tone of the writing, especially the 'big man Upstairs' part :D. Trust me, you had me captivated and I'll be back to read the rest!
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm :
thanks so much :)
 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 12:11 pm:
I really like this story. You do need to revise a few things though. You have a few comma splices--joining two sentences together. Also, I would advise expanding a bit more on the emotional side of your character. Sometimes, she doesn't seem as freaked out as I would have thought. But the story itself is pretty interesting; I can't wait until you post some more. I want to know more about the characters! And I love the whole spin you put on vampires and zombies! Very well done overall! :)
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:41 pm :
Thank you Garnet77. The next chapter is going to be under another character's point of view... so keep reading ! 
 
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eMiLyP said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 9:44 am:
This is a really good story! I love how suspenseful it is. I really hope you write more because I would be interested in reading it if you did! Great work!
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 9:21 pm :
Thank you, the next chapters are pending approval, so come back to check it out soon :) I'm going to write much more, I have it all planed out but my chapters are very short so it might take a while. 
 
eMiLyP replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 6:35 pm :
Yay! I can't wait!
 
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