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The Forgotten

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 12 Next »

Chapter 7 : Déjà Vu

Where had he disappeared to again ? If Adrian was going to be my so called captor, he should at least stay around long enough enjoy my imprisonment. His pretty face might make things more bearable on my part.
Demitier however I couldn't get rid of. If she wasn't cleaning, bringing me food or talking on that damned phone with lord knows who, in some incomprehensible eastern European language, she was finding reasons to spy on me. I wasn't sure what information she expected to gain but I sure
(reposted edited chapter)
as heck wasn't going to give her the pleasure of reporting back to her dear Mr. Ivanosk or Mr. Ivashkov, or whatever his name was, with details concerning me. If he wanted it he'd need to come to the source and face me.
I, however, learnt that she had immigrated from Europe when she was fourteen, her father was a diplomat, and she has five siblings. Adrian had saved her life once upon a time, which I found quite ironic given the fact that he'd gone from saving damsels to locking them up in his palace. What surprised me most was that she'd asked him permission to serve him freely. I'm sorry, but isn't that modern day slavery ? Putting aside her life for two years, in order to repay her debt towards him.
“Adrian.” I stated.
She looked up from the book in her hands, “Excuse me ?”
“Adrian. Is Adrian home ?” She nodded, yes.
“Mr. Ivanov is in his study.”
That did it ! I got up, raging mad, and stormed out of the hall that was kept unlocked when Mouse was keeping me company. I retraced my steps to the bathroom, but instead kept going until I ended up at the feet of a large stairwell. The stairs, I had originally thought, would only take me to a second floor kept going until a fourth landing. I was out of breath by then.
There were five doors, each in lacquered dark wood. The orient rugs were probably hand made and cost a fortune. Torch like looking chandeliers lit the corridor, and gave off an eerie, mysterious air. Surprisingly, Demitier didn't run after me. I put it off as due to our earlier encounter. The stairs continued up another floor but I decided to check here first.
Adrian's study would most likely be near the Hall, where he could appear if anything want wrong.

I felt a surge of déjà vu. A few years back, a guy, Charles Wilson, in my sophomore class was hosting an end of the year party. His parents of course weren't in on the plan, as fate works, they had been called out of town for a business meeting and would be gone for the weekend. Leaving their seventeen year old son in charge. Do I even need to state the reasons why this was a bad idea ?
I wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for Jake. He was the main reason I'd agreed. He was my future husband (in my wildest dream) and he was single, having ended his self destructive relationship with Terri, some strawberry blonde cheerleader two weeks previous. I had had a crush on him all year and this was my one and only chance.
Charles was Aly's boyfriend at the time and he had no choice other then to invite the best friend. His house, scratch that – his mansion was quite a sight, mostly it screamed money money money. Just like every other thing related to Charles Wilson, his name, his clothes, his car to name a few.
When Jake and I started making out on the couch, numerous beers later, and he proposed we should continue in a more private area, I complied and we set off to find an unoccupied room.
Taking me by the hand, we went upstairs without breaking our kiss. I really was an awesome multitasker back in the days. When made it to the first floor, Jake pushed me against the wall delicately, to deepen the kiss. I was the happiest girl in the world at that moment. Because let's face it, I was having a make out session with one of the most sought after guy in our year. I basically had him eating out of the palm of my hand. When we came up for some much needed air, we restrained ourselves long enough to try the various doors. And we tried them all, desperately hoping one would magically unlock under our fingertips, without any luck.

* * *
I shivered at the memory and tried the first door, shut tight under lock and key.
The second and third, same story. About to give up and just head back downstairs, like that one night long ago, I gave the fourth a shove while turning the knob. The door swung open and what a sight to behold !
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This book has 24 comments. Post your own now!

TaylorWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 2 at 11:39 pm
The Forgotten Comment Just to tell you in advance, I write my comments while I read so you can get a better feel of my emotions. I apologize sincerely because this will make a REALLY long comment. So here we go. Ch 1 - I love the title of the chapter. First chap. in the book, and BAM it's already the end. Cool effect. I like the repetitiveness in the things she says. "What a rhetorical question, if I'm *here telling you this." Also, you misused "faith." I believe it should be "fate." I really l... (more »)
 
GhostBeam said...
Mar. 17 at 7:10 pm
Amazing!!!!!!
 
just-another-urlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 21 at 4:26 pm
Thanks for reading !
 
SmileyFace3356 said...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 9:39 pm
This is amazing, every girl wants a bad boy who's good just for her!  Btw, does anyone know how to bookmark cuz I am definitely bookmarking this!
 
just-another-urlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 21 at 4:32 pm
Thanks :) I'm not sure how you can bookmark it, I think you can click a link somewhere requesting to receive an email when I publish new chapters (hope that helps).
 
IamMeForeverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 27, 2013 at 10:52 pm
More more more!!!
 
Mermaidmissy said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 9:35 am
Ahh I so love this book it is very good and heartwarming all at the same time. I think you should keep writing more pages soon. Hey can you look at my stuff and see what you like I have poems and one book on this web site so check it out if you have a chance k. Thank You!! :) 
 
EbbaRose said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 1:08 am
Good story! And great character voice, i love it!!! can't wait to read more!
 
Nikiblue said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm

I thought the storyline was good and suspenseful. I do have some critics though. I know that a lot of people have already mentioned the spelling errors, and also the weird arrows in the text. Secondly, I feel that a lot of the writing was a little choppy and too quick from one thing to the next. I think more emotion and details should be put in so it feels more as though the reader is there seeing it all for themselves, if that makes any sense?

 

Hopefully I wasn't just rep... (more »)

 
Drive_it_home_with_one_headlight said...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I like this a lot. The paragraphing is weird, though. It threw me off a little bit, as well as the arrows instead of the ". Is there any significance to the arrows?
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Sorry about that, I just recently bought an American mac so the sighs changed from the arrows to ". In french we don't have " on the keyboard. Same for the paragraphes. In France books aren't presented the same way. Sorry if it caused any confusion. 
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm
* signes.  
 
AspiringWriter said...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I love the plot; it's very unique. The summary immediately intrigued me. I'd hate to say this again, but you do have a few grammatical errors. It's nothing too big, and it definitely doesn't take away from your story. :)

 

Hmm. What else? I think that you should try adding more descriptions and emotions. Not too much. Just a little. It'll make the story more vivid, if you know what I mean.

 

Great work! :)

 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Thanks !! I will try adding more description and emotions in my next chapters, I have a hard time with that sort of stuff;) Again thank you for reading !
 
mrs. mom said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:36 pm
as a mom, i love this story - age appropriate but exciting, fun,sensual,etc.-it's great knowing that there are those who like to write something other than "texts" - i just wonder if this writer's nightmares are as interesting - please continue
 
renthead96 said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 5:52 pm

This is an interesting story. I enjoyed the relationship you created between vampire and zombie--I'm pretty sure I haven't seen that yet. However, there are various spelling/grammar mistakes. You can always have someone else review your chapters to help check for these mistakes: a parent, a sibling, a relative, etc. Just to help with this, I've selected a few common mistakes that you've made to show what you should look for:

"He is aloud to take a break, I'm not angry with Him."more »)

 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Thanks Renthead96. The next few chapters are going to be back and forth between Adrian and Darik's view, so you will get more information about the whole vampire and zombie relationship. As for the mistakes, thank you :) Keep posted for more. :) and thanks again for checking this out. It means alot to me !
 
tealbird said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Ok, I'm sorry to say I only had time to read the first chapter of your novel, but I really enjoyed it. I love the tone of the writing, especially the 'big man Upstairs' part :D. Trust me, you had me captivated and I'll be back to read the rest!
 
RockGirl182This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 6:42 pm
thanks so much :)
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 7, 2011 at 12:11 pm
I really like this story. You do need to revise a few things though. You have a few comma splices--joining two sentences together. Also, I would advise expanding a bit more on the emotional side of your character. Sometimes, she doesn't seem as freaked out as I would have thought. But the story itself is pretty interesting; I can't wait until you post some more. I want to know more about the characters! And I love the whole spin you put on vampires and zombies! Very well done overall! :)
 

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