Chapter 10 : Our First Song
My eyes fluttered open. It felt like an eternity since sunlight had greeted me. I felt uncomfortable, my clothes were dirty, my skin and hair in desperate need of a shower and wash. My mouth was like sandpaper and my body was as stiff as, as... Oh I don't know ! For goodness sake, find something yourself for once.
Once my eyes are adapted to the light I take in my surroundings. My head is at an uncomfortable angle and I can no longer feel my legs, that have grown to be numb. Something is cutting
into my waist and my arms are folded around the ugliest, yellow bag, maybe the ugliest of the ugly, the worst since the dawn of yellow bags.
I look around and see trees flying by, drifting away. The lights of a unnamed city are far behind and mountains surround us.
It only takes a second to realize that I'm in a car. And cars have mirrors.
Have I changed ? Am I a monster now ?
I can't look. I dare myself to keep my eyes on the sight of nature and friendly wilderness that won't judge me wether I'm a Forgotten or still a human being, with a beating hearth and a soul to keep. But my soul can't be saved anymore. No matter how hard I try, I am a goner for sure.
I died already, I am dead to God. I will never be a part of humanity. My life as Leah Mortel is over, finished, whatever. Uh, it's almost sarcastic, Mortel, when I am no longer mortal, but immortal.
Maybe I should change my name. No, bad idea. Changing anything else would mean embracing the new me, I am not that person. Nor will I ever be, ever.
That's when it hits ! My mom and my dad, Darik... They will never know the truth. Because they think that I was kidnapped. Well, I was but for all the wrong reasons. Adrian wants me to be his forever young looking bride, wife, parter, girlfriend, something rather unholy let's say.
Don't get me wrong, sex doesn't repulse me but I was raised in a Catholic family, I went to church every Sunday until high school when it became uncool to go pray on the weekend.
The only lesson I learned at Sunday school important in life was that men don't marry in holy matrimony a woman who is not pure. I must say, it saved me more then a few times from doing something I would have regretted later on. And I would not bend that rule I'd imposed on myself for some freak, even if it killed me. Hell, I'm already dead, death a second time won't hurt me. It even looks like a rather bright path from were I'm standing. And if you were wondering, I am currently standing at Hell's front gate.
“Sleeping beauty finally awakes.”
That voice, the one that freezes me, chills me to the bone, frightens me to death ( I have to stop saying that ), that one voice that brings nightmares along for the ride. It's his.
But at the moment, I feel the opposite, sounds like bells, honey in warm milk, a soft fire, rain drops on a cottage roof soothing you to sleep, Mozart, laughing, my brother. His voice does that to me.
I turn to face him. Adrian. My soul mate. My one true love.
Wait, back up ! What ?!
I shake my head clear of that foggy stuff and whatever it's doing to my brain.
“How do you feel ?”
I trust my voice to work, not start blabbing sonnets or something.
“Dizzy.” Great of all the insults and come backs I choose a lame adjective. Especially after our last meeting in his room, when I found out what he was and what I was becoming and he confessed his undying love for me.
“That's normal. And may I state that you look beautiful this evening.” I blush, no matter how hard I try, his words won't go down. They are stuck somewhere in my throat. Next to my hearth. One that doesn't beat because of him.
It's evening, how could it be. How can he tell, to me it's morning, the sunny sky and blue's to marvelous. A shade I've never seen before. One words can not describe.
I remember his flattering comment and being a well brought up lady thank him.
Then we drive, for hours. Not a word is exchanged. When the sky changes from midnight black to dark blue I know dawn is on it's way. I'm not even the least bit sleepy though.
Do Forgotten sleep ?
We stop for gas, I could run but I feel safe with Adrian, I am as strong as he is now so why should I fear him ?
I head to the restroom that's empty at this early hour.
After I wash my hands I can't anymore. I stare into the mirror and shriek. My brown eyes, ones I'd always hated for their blandness are white, like Adrian's. My own skin makes me crawl. It's to pale, I look like a freaking Albinos ! My brown hair that's had a washed out look to it since forever is shinny and strait. No more curls or waves. I look skinnier too and in the name of all that's mighty ! My breast are bigger ! I look like a model for some popular teen brand line, like American Eagle. A store I went to once and gave up on when I saw that my normal size four was an eight there, were everything was cut much to small and the waistline to tight.
I turn from my reflection and take a step forwards, I don't even make it that far. For a strong Forgotten, my legs can't even hold up my weight.
I scream, I cry, I shout out for Darik. Didn't he promise to save me ? Where is he ?
I hear approaching footsteps after a while. And I begin to hope it's him.
Adrian comes in and takes in the wrecked sight also know as me. He doesn't ask a single question, just pulls me into his arms, his strong arms. Nothing can hurt me.
I realize that I wasn't calling for my brother but for him.
“Promise to never leave me again,” He never even left. Doesn't matter.
Adian's white eyes meet my own, I hold on to his gaze until tears start streaming again. I need to know, hear him say the words.
“I swear it Leah.”
And with that he picks me up and carries me to his car. He is gentle with me, like a father claiming back his little girl after her first break up, persuading her to give up on guys for a few more years. So that she learns more about life and gets to profit.
As we hit the road once again a song is blasted through the stereo. I turn it up even more, until the car is shaking. Adrian lets me. I drown my pain in the music. I'm not ready to face my demons. Not just yet. I will one day but for now I have Adrian as a shield.
“Beautiful song.” He says.
Yes it is. Almost as beautiful as him. I shut my eyes to my new life for the first time as the song, our song, the first one I've heard as a Forgotten finishes.
It's weird because I know that song, as a human I mean. I sang it sometimes. So to hear it from another perspective is like discovering it all over again.
It's a song about new beginnings, and tragic ends, about hope, about life's ups and downs... It has a new meaning to me.