He lifted me up by my legs and set me on the counter. I wrapped my legs around his waist, crossing them at the ankles so he couldn't get away from me easily. But he didn't seem to want to. His hips pressed against my inner thighs as we continued our intense lip-lock. I pulled my fingers from his hair, and they trailed down his chest to the hem of his shirt. Seeming to have a mind of their own they slipped under it, brushing the skin of his stomach lightly. He shivered, the muscles in his stomach contracting under my touch. My fingers slithered around to his back and i pulled him even closer to me. An electric jolt shot through my body. Before it could burn me it was gone. But in that moment i saw a hundred memories flash behind my closed lids.












Blood and sunshine














Krystal silas










Dedicated to everyone who has a bit of demon in them ;D















Table of contents
Chapter on- Past

1













I didn’t like to remember my past…but I couldn’t help the torrent of memories that flooded my mind.














The agonizing pain of death as it swept through my veins while I lay in the scratchy grass in a pool of my own blood, a shadowy shape crossing my vision as I took my last dying breaths. The warmth of Kain’s hand in mine our fingers intertwined, awaiting the judgment that we had talked so freely about in life. Watching as a dark mist descended on us. The heart breaking feeling of his hand being ripped from mine as the mist encased him. Watching helplessly as his body crumpled to the ground under its weight. Flashes of his body convulsing, and thin, spindly, bones growing from his back. Watching in horror and amazement as rough looking skin started to grow on them. The wings growing and stretching until they covered his body. I remember the tears that I felt trailing down my face as I watched him stand shakily, his gruesome, majestic wings opening. The thick curls that I had run my fingers through so many times were now somehow thicker and more lustrous. His face now unbelievably bewitching. Even more so than it had been in life, each of his features more defined; the beautiful hazel eyes I remembered now ringed in black. His chest had been bare, showing scars of all shapes in sizes, reminders of the countless fights he’d gotten into in the past. The mist formed a thin layer of cover hanging like low riding jeans on his hips. His body pulled my attention to so many parts at the same time; it was overwhelming. The mist radiated around him like an aura. Somehow I had known it made him like this. Before I could speak his name a strong magnetic pull dragged me backwards. I screamed his name once, before I was blinded with a pure light.

I pressed my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the pictures. That was a long time ago. A lot has happened since Kain and I died and he was sent to Hell. I fingered the long scars on my back, stretching from my shoulder blades to my waist.














When Amira, a fellow Angel and dear friend of mine, had shown me a human attempting to rape a young woman through one of our Earth watching scopes, I didn’t think much of him, until he turned away from the wall and his face came into view. Age could not keep me from remembering that face immediately. I couldn’t hear Amira’s pleas as my wings unfolded and I dropped from the clouds, the fury of a million angels powering my wings as I flew to Earth.

Finding him was too easy. Each human has a very distinct, strong scent that can be used to track them. But his was even more pungent than the other humans I had tracked. It was rotten, and molding. Maybe his funk represented the state of his soul. But I wasn’t coming to take him… that was the Angel of Death’s job. I wanted answers. And I was going to get them, one way, or another.

It was dark and raining when I landed in Topeka, Kansas. The weather fit my mood perfectly. The streets were cold and deserted, and some of the street lights were out, giving me some cover. Closing my eyes I folded my wings back into my skin and inhaled. There. He was in the alley a few steps away from me, I could hear the movement. I walked quickly over to the mouth of the alley and peered in curiously.

The unconscious body of the woman I had seen through the scope was propped against one of the buildings that flaked either side of the alley. Her shirt had been cut open and a small pool of blood lay at her feet. The man was kneeling in-between her legs fumbling with the button on her pants. My lips twisted into a sneer. He was so desperate for sex that he would attack a helpless woman to get it?

I kicked a nearby crate, and it landed with a crash a few feet away. The man jumped about a foot in the air, startled by the sound. Quickly he whipped around, wielding a pocket knife unsteadily. “Who’s there!” he yelled, trying to sound threatening, but just managing to sound terrified. I walked forward, unmerging from the shadows. I knew he could see my shape silhouetted by the dim light of the square and the occasional flash of lightning. I walked towards him slowly, loving the way he quivered in fear. When I walked into the aura of hazy light coming from a flickering bulb carelessly glued to the alley wall, his eyes widened and then relaxed into a lazy smile. “Ok lady, I’m gonna give you till the count of 5 to get your sexy ass out of this here alley before I do what I did to her,” he pointed the knife carelessly towards the slumped figure. “To you.” I stood perfectly still, waiting for him to start counting. He stared at me in disbelief, amazed that I wasn’t already running. Then he shrugged halfheartedly. “So be it then…..one.” he said. I kept staring at him, unblinking. “Two.” He said, fingering the knife. “Three.” He said flipping it closed and then open again, loosening up his wrist. “Four.” He sputtered, the rain pulling his hair into his face.

I stood in front of him in a relaxed stance, already calculating how I would take him down. His knife hand was shaking and clumsy as it played with the blade, which meant that he was nervous or not really right handed. So he was a lefty. That made my task easier. I was right handed. I could just snatch the blade from his loose fingers and dispose of it before he could hurt himself. And his stance, oh goodness his stance. It was too wide and cocky; anyone with common sense could do his genitalia some real damage. But that was too easy, and he would be expecting me to do the easy. Hmmmm well then, I’d just have to fake him out and when he snapped his legs closed I’d land a right hook to his cheek bone, making him spin slightly to the left. He would be disoriented and I would land a quick jab to the stomach and then chop his throat lightly just to make sure. When he bent over to cup his throat and shield his stomach I would snatch the knife and throw it somewhere.

I blinked, coming back to the present, and started slowly shifting into a defensive position. His eyebrows had disappeared into the dark umbrella of his hair. “Darlen I know your trying to be all heroic and all, but you don besta start walkin home, get back to your nice lil boyfriend, cause you won’t like what happens when I get to five.” He was right, I didn’t like fighting humans, they were such easy targets and so full of themselves, overcome by the pettiest rage when they were beat in a fair fight. But he had something I needed. Something I had searched years to find. And I wasn’t just going to let him slip away with the little bit of information without a fight.

“Five and a quarter………” he was drawling it out, seeing if I would still turn and run. But I had no intention of running, and he wasn’t going to even touch me during this whole scuffle.

He saw the flash of a challenge in my eyes and sighed. “You’re too beautiful to be gettin into fights with grown men like me, but…” he almost looked apologetic as he got into his stance too. “Five.” Before he could even shift to defend himself, I was on him. My moves followed one another in quick succession. Fake him out, then right hook. Jab to the stomach, and chop to the throat. Pick up the knife and throw it.

Before he could blink he was bent over wheezing, and I was pulling my hair away from my eyes and flipping it carelessly onto my shoulders. “You were saying?” I asked, wanting to taunt him a little bit. He tried to respond but all that came out were choked gurgles. I grinned maliciously and stepped towards him. He saw my movement and snapped upright, trying to get into a defensive position before I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and slammed him against the wall, face first. He groaned and a bolt of lightning flashed overhead.

“Don’t you recognize me?” I whispered into his ear, pressing my chest against his back to keep him from wiggling around. His body shook as the chill of the rain seeped through his drenched clothes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! I don’t know you! Let me go!” he screamed in a terrified voice, his frame shaking. I brushed his hair away from his face with my fingers and tilted his head back, exposing his neck. “You sure? ‘Cause I know I know you. I could never forget a bastard like you.” I said my lips brushing his neck. “I swear! On my life! I have never seen you before!”

He’s lying, an inner voice snarled. But as we stood pressed against each other against the wall, feeling his body trembling under mine, I couldn’t help but think he was telling the truth. I thought back to that day, the day I died. What was different about me? I was still Tiffani on the inside…..but not on the outside. I almost smacked myself on the forehead. I was an Angel now, but of course I had died human. When I got Angelified my appearance had changed drastically; I saw the difference in the mirror every day when I awoke. Even with my wings hidden safely underneath my skin I still looked different, unrecognizable to this man.

I released him and he slid down the wall, turning to face me quickly, unsure of what I would do. I stepped back and spread my arms, envisioning myself getting dressed on that day, how my hair was styled. My long trench coat shrunk and billowed out around my knees, changing to the color of summer plums, I was now wearing my favorite dress. My hair shortened and thickened, curling gracefully around my face as I remembered how long it took to curl my hair. And finally a tingling feeling tickled my toes, and the familiar shape of my old Converse enveloped my feet. Transformation complete I dropped my arms and stared at him, waiting for realization to hit.

It sure took him a while. But the expression on his face was priceless when it finally hit him. “I know you….” He whispered backing into the wall, his nails gouging into the cold stone. “But, your dead…” my laugh had a cold edge to it, and complimented the thunder that rumbled above us. “I don’t look dead do I?” I asked teasing him. He pressed himself harder into the stone, trying to go through it, trying to get away from me.

“So all I want to know is why us? I didn’t even know you that well. And what did Kain ever do to you?” I asked gliding toward him, a bubble of peaceful air protecting my skin from the rain. He didn’t answer, just pushed himself harder against the wall. “Ok….next question. …how do you choose your victims? I know you can’t just choose them at random…she works in your office, and has been flirting with you for the past month. Tonight you tried to make a pass on her and she blew you off, so you followed her while she was on her way home and cornered her.” I said gesturing to the still unconscious figure of the girl I had almost forgotten at the mouth of the alley. His eyes widened, afraid as I picked through his brain, looking for May 20th, 1996, passing many murders and rapes he had committed and got away with. But as I dug through his memories I couldn’t find the date. By his face I knew I had the right guy, but where was the memory? Well that only left one option…

“It doesn’t have to be this difficult…stop hiding your memories from me.” His look was one of a caged animal, desperate and frightened. When a human had an emotional attachment to a memory and still felt strongly about it, their mind could sometimes shield the memory from supernaturals. John felt guilt and shame, that much was clear, so his mind had hidden the memory of our murders in his unconscious mind so that he didn’t have to think about them anymore. But that made my task that much more difficult.

“Come on John, I really don’t want to break the rules but…” “There are rules? To what you are?” he asked quickly, his eyes feveret and hopeful. “Yes.” I said slowly, unsure of his intentions about getting me talking. “There are rules when you’re an Angel. I’m breaking a few right now. You’re never supposed to come to Earth unless you ask the permission of the Council. But that’s a little one; I won’t get into much trouble for that. Then you’re never supposed to let a human see you, or track one down, unless they’re dying and tagged for Heaven. And you’re not dying or tagged for Heaven. Actually, I’m almost positive your soul is going to Hell. That rule is a little bigger, but it doesn’t even come close to how much trouble I’ll get into if I kill you.” I said flatly. John’s eyes all but popped out of his skull and rolled onto the cracked cement under us. “K…k…kill me?’ he squeaked. “I’m not going to do it on purpose, but the Council won’t care, killing is killing.” I sighed, knowing the consequences of killing a human, but deciding not to tell John. “W…why would you kill me? You’re an A….Angel.” he said tripping over his words. “It’s not so much that I kill you, it’s the process of retrieving your memories that will.” I said shrugging. “Wha,” he started, but I interrupted. “It’s called Blut Lesung, blood reading. When the unconscious mind of a human is shielding memories, supernaturals have found it easier to find them by drinking the body fluid of the human. And since blood is more desirable than pee, though some disagree, you could die of blood loss.”

Suddenly John stood up straight and stepped away from the wall determination flashing in his eyes. His stance was defiant as he faced me full on. I’m not going to let you kill me. It said. I shook my head. Though I loved a good fight… the more resistant the human was, the more pain they experienced when blut lesung was conducted, and we were running out of time.

John threw a punch angled at my head, and I didn’t have to look as I caught his fist in my hand and immediately grabbed his elbow pulling him into my rainless bubble. He struggled for a second before I grabbed him around the waist with one hand and cupped his neck with the other. Dropping my human skin I unfurled my Heavenly radiance, letting my wings unfurl and spread out. I should have taken a moment to seal the alley from human sight so that any stray wandering the streets so late didn’t get me into more trouble. But I didn’t have time. Throwing caution to the wind I focused on the human in my arms. As he stared at me in awe his body relaxed. Tilting his head to the side I pressed my lips to his neck and then opened my mouth, capturing his skin in between my teeth. The god awful taste of his blood filled my mouth, and with it came memories.

Murders and rapes flashed across my vision, so numerous in their numbers you couldn’t count them on 4 people’s fingers and toes. But I didn’t get distracted by the gruesome images that nearly drowned me, focusing only on finding the 20th of May.

At first I thought I had passed it. The memories were counting down, from most recent to his teenage years. But then I saw a flash of Kane’s face, still automatically recognizable to me after all these years. Like a car going a hundred miles an hour and then suddenly slamming on the breaks, the pictures stopped moving and the memory played like a video clip through John’s eyes.

He was beating on Kain, hitting him over and over with a heavy statue. They had had an argument, and I could feel the malice roaring through his veins as Kain’s whimpers and complaints grew fainter and fainter. When he stopped moving John dragged his body outside, thinking that he was dead. I thought he was too, until I remembered that I had found him still alive before John had found me. He dug a deep hole, and hid the body behind the thick rose bush, blocking the view of Kain’s nosey neighbors. Then running back inside he prepped for my arrival, lust replacing the malice. When he heard me pulling into the driveway he ran down stairs, grimacing at the mess he had left in the stairway. I’ll just have to keep her out of the rest of the house. He thought as he ran to sit on one of the plush leather couches in the sitting room just off to the side of the entryway. He heard a key in the door and snatched up a magazine flipping it open to a random page. Then I walked in, calling out for Kain, excitement clear in my voice. John got up to greet me, and made casual conversation, trying to keep me relaxed. But I could see-and so could he- the unease in my face as he told the other me that Kain had to run out and would be back soon. When I turned to leave, calling out to tell him to call me when he got back, John ran to block the door. Stumbling back a step I watched him carefully unsure of how to get him to move. As he walked forward I stepped back, not liking the crazed look in his eyes. He was saying things to me, lustful things about all that he wanted to do to me, and that he was a much better under the covers than Kain could ever be. But the other me kept creeping back looking around for something to throw at him so she could run. Finally losing his patience he lunged for me trying to snatch my wrist. But I jumped out of the way and ran into the dining room, knowing there were many sharp things in there that I could use. He followed, hot on my heels. We stood at opposite ends of the table, shifting from side to side, trying to throw the other off. I snatched up a carving knife that Kain’s parents had laid out for dinner tonight, shifting it in my sweaty palms. John and I both felt amazement and respect for the former me, knowing it took guts to pick up that knife. John started talking again, straightening out of his offensive posture, but also shifting around the table slowly. I was distracted by his voice and didn’t notice how close he was until it was almost too late. When he was about two feet away he made another grab for my wrist. He gripped it tightly and started to pull, but I slashed at his wrist with pure rage. Searing pain shot through his arm and the memory rippled, almost pushing me out at such an intense pain. He yanked his hand back, screaming and grasping his bleeding wrist in his other hand. I remembered the adrenaline that was pumping through my body as I slashed the knife against his shoulders, hoping to slit his throat. But the knife glided across his shoulder and to his left breast, leaving an ugly red line under the torn fabric of his shirt that looked a heck of a lot like Kain’s. Before I could see his reaction to this I ran, sprinting from the dining room. My legs carried me from his view, but I knew that I had run upstairs, shivering at the blood spattered putti angel, and into Kain’s room locking the door to the bathroom and then locking myself in the closet. After John had found something to bind his wounds he ran after me, searching the kitchen before moving up the stairs quietly. Picking the lock on the door to the bathroom and the closet he searched every corner for me, until he knocked a box full of old clothes out of the way and found a strange looking square of carpet. Flipping on the light and squatting down he looked at it closely. He lifted the edge and revealed a piece of wood surrounded by concrete. Lifting the wood he found a hollowed hole in the concrete and a tin slide that disappeared into the dark. This is interesting….he thought as he slid down it carefully, the tin bending under his weight.

When he got to the bottom he lifted the mesh grate and wiggled through the opening, just barely able to get through. As he lowered it he looked around warily, not seeing me hiding anywhere. Crouching behind the privet hedges he crept forward, catching flashes of the neighbor’s empty yard in between some of the branches. Crawling a bit farther he spotted me leaning over Kain’s unconscious body crying. The hole John had dug to bury the body in was in between him and me, and a high pile of dirt to fill in the hole blocked my view of him as he hid behind it. Picking up the nearby shovel he positioned himself and stooped over, walking towards me. I looked up to see him standing over me holding the shovel like a baseball bat. “Ciao bella. Goodbye beautiful.” He said, and I felt his muscles ripple as he brought the shovel straight towards my head. There was a sickening crunch and a heavy thud as I fell to the ground, blood pooling around me as my blood stained the grass red.













The memory distorted and folded in on itself, popping and crackling as it disappeared. When my vision cleared I was back in the alley with John still in my arms. I dropped him quickly, as if he were a cockroach, disgust and rage twisting my features. He crumpled at my feet in a wet pile of cotton, shuddering. The cement under him was tinged in red, the rain washing it to the middle of the alley and into a drain. I knew that the man was taking his last dying breaths right next to me, but I couldn’t feel empathy for him. I had already died once. Instead I crouched next to him and rolled him onto his back. His hand flopped to the side as his eyes stared unseeingly into the sky, his mouth a slack. I leaned over him and pressed my lips to his icy cold ones, and inhaled. His chest rose and his fingers fluttered, his eyes focusing on me for a second. But then his body relaxed and his eyes closed halfway, his pupils turning hazy white, meaning he had been given the Kiss of Death by an Angel.

Sighing I stood, feeling his life essence buzzing and mingling with mine inside my abdomen. I was so screwed when I got home…

After I had pushed all of the blood down the drain and called a North wind to blow away the smell, I looked around for more evidence of my presence. Satisfied with my job I headed out of the alley and almost tripped on something. Whirling my eyes searched the dark corner, looking for the object that had tripped me. I spotted a human leg that was attached to a torso and sitting on top of it all was a moon bleached face. It was the human girl; John’s co-worker. Glad I hadn’t forgotten her I scooped her up in my arms, her sodden clothes weighing her down but being no match for my Angelic strength. As I walked I probed her body for any sickness with my mind, and found the first stage of hypothermia was setting in because of all of the rain on her bare skin. She was also scratched up a bit from the confrontation with John, but other than that she was fine. Drawing energy from my Heavenly radiance I blew air into her face, and as she inhaled it worked itself into her system, healing as it went, until the cuts were gone and her skin glowed. Sheltering her body from the rain I walked briskly to her apartment, holding up a glamour so that no human saw us.

Unlocking her door with an impatient flick of my wrist I set her on her couch and covered her with a blanket, urging some warm fluids into her slack mouth before letting her rest. I double checked that her body would heal quickly and painlessly before settling into the couch adjacent to her, watching her closely and listening to her deep breathing.

As I watched her images from John’s memory and mine flashed across my vision. A dead woman with her head bashed in. A little girl screaming as a knife slashed across the skin of her bare chest. Kain lying in the grass with part of his skull dented in, his shallow breathing loud and raspy in my ears. Kain’s wings growing from his back and the demon mist flowing from and around him. The ecstasy John felt as he raped a teenaged girl in a tattered private school uniform. Oh God. I groaned and squeezed my head in between my hands, trying to block the visions.

After sitting in silence for a while something in my chest started buzzing. Sighing I stood, knowing that the Council was calling me home. Pressing my lips to the girl’s forehead I left a small red mark, the Kiss of an Angel a very good protection charm, and the only evidence of my presence here.

Gliding outside and locking the door behind me I walked a short distance away, still wearing a coat of glamour. Spreading my wings I leaped into the sky, John’s memories still bouncing around in my head.











Coming back to the present I smiled humorlessly, thinking of the hell that had awaited me at home. They said taking my wings and sending me to Earth was a merciful punishment, that I deserved to be thrown down into the hottest part of Hell for the atrocities I had committed against Heaven. But it wasn’t merciful, not really. It would have done me better to strip me of my powers and bind my wings….or better yet kill me. But the Angels refused to kill. A point that Amira used to defend me repeatedly, trying to ‘save’ my life. And my crimes were too horrible for the Council to even consider reconciliation. So that only left one option. No one had ever had their wings removed and stripped of their radiance for murdering a human. That was a line even Lucifer, the first Angel to become a Fallen, hadn’t crossed. Well there was always a first time for everything…I just wished that I hadn’t been that first.

The ceremony was kept private, only the family that had made it to Heaven were invited, and Amira. I can still feel the hot hands that had grasped my upper arms as another pair had gripped my wings at the axillars, squeezing painfully. “Tiffani Janan Isod, you are hear-by stripped of your wings on mandate from the Consiglio degli Angeli. You understand why this must be done?” an Angel said, reading from a glowing scroll. I made eye contact with him. “Yes I do.” I said in a clear voice. He nodded and continued reading. “In light of the circumstances the Consiglio has also ordered that you be stripped of your radiance and wings and sent to Earth. Do you accept these terms?” he asked, meeting my eyes again. I nodded. “I do.” We both knew that they would still rip out my wings even if I didn’t agree, but I said nothing, staring all around me, doing anything to avoid my parents’ disappointed gazes. Again he nodded and rolled up the scroll. “Thank you for being so cooperative through all of this…it really makes things easier.” He murmured. I chuckled dryly. As if I cared about making things easier for them. But there was an easy way and an extremely painful way to rip out an Angel’s wings. Right know was not the time to mouth off. So instead I jerked my chin up in response. He walked around me, going to stand by my family and watched. “Are you ready?” the Angel holding my wings asked. As ready as I’ll ever be. I thought bitterly. Out loud I said “Yes.” He gave me a second to prepare myself. I bowed my head, letting my curly brown locks fall forward and cover my face from my family’s view, so they couldn’t see the pain in my face. The Angel behind me pushed down on my wings a bit, testing their strength. My body twitched in response to the pain, and the hands on my arms tightened.

Pausing only a second the Angel behind me ripped my wings downward leaving a harrowing trail from my shoulder blades to the middle of my back. I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my head back wailing in pain. I could hear the sharp intake of breath hitching into a sob from where my family was standing. I knew my pain was piercing their hearts, but I couldn’t hold in my agonized screams. The hands on my arms tightened again, and I noticed that my body was thrashing, trying to get away from the pain. The Angel readjusted his grip on my wings, and my primary feathers bumped the backs of my calves. He pressed my wings tighter together and gave a final yank; tearing them from my back and making me double over in raw agony. I could feel blood trickling down my bare back and into the soft fabric at my waist. But feeling in my back was quickly lost, and I could feel my body going into shock.

I floated in time for a moment, leaving my body and all feeling my thoughts and vision going hazy. When I came back to reality someone was standing in front of me, blowing in my face. Obediently I inhaled. Their breath smelled like summertime in Chicago…Kain’s mom making her amazing tuna casserole on a warm spring evening…mom’s perfume, the one she only wore on special occasions…the cracked leather in dad’s old Catty… it smelled like home. As I breathed my mind cleared, and I noticed that another Angel was blowing gently on my back making my wounds close and heal.

Though the pain was gone my head was still heavy, and without my consent my eyelids drooped and I fell into someone’s arms like a stupid damsel in distress.