April Fresh

March 17, 2011
By writerchik_123 BRONZE, miramar, Florida
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen


Summary:

“Hey so you new around here?” He asked. I raised an eyebrow, but answered, “Just moved from California.” He seemed surprised. “Really? That’s so cool.” The guy’s friends called his name. They were yelling Jake. “Nice name.” I commented. “Can I know yours?” He asked me. I thought about it for a second. Should I really tell some guy I just met my real name? I decided what that heck. “April.” I replied.


Tiffany G.

April Fresh


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 31 comments.


on Aug. 13 2011 at 5:02 pm
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen

AWW! seriously? No one has ever told me that before! I will definetly keep you all posted! Two new one's coming this week!

on Aug. 13 2011 at 5:02 pm
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen

Lol. No problem. Two new coming your way this week!

aubreyflsom said...
on Aug. 13 2011 at 12:33 am
write more its sooo good!

AKwritten said...
on Aug. 12 2011 at 5:48 pm
AKwritten, Anchorage, Alaska
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments
I really love this book i can't wait for more, if this was published and in bookstores i would just read it all in one day- keep on writing ;)

on Aug. 12 2011 at 12:49 pm
JustAnotherDay. BRONZE, Andover, Ohio
2 articles 1 photo 130 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stephen Fry - There are many people out there that will tell you that "you can't". What you've got to do is turn around and say, "watch me."

More, I need more! D:

on Jul. 28 2011 at 2:30 pm
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen

I posted a new chapter! I hop you guys like it. This week I'm posting two more!

on Jul. 6 2011 at 2:23 am
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen

Yeah sorry sometimes I have that problem. I'm glad that you liked it!

on May. 28 2011 at 3:25 pm
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

"this" as in- "this nice desk" "this really cool magnetic board", etc., just to clarify

on May. 28 2011 at 3:22 pm
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

You are developing the story nicely, I like the characters, and the foreshadowing is a nice touch. One thing that kind of irkes me is that you keep on using "this". It makes your writing seem less mature and the character superficial, I guess that's the effect it has on me. Otherwise, great!

on Mar. 23 2011 at 4:00 pm
writerchik_123 BRONZE, Miramar, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you can live forever what do you live for?


-Edward Cullen

Thanks! and I really like Jake too. lol :)

mal12 said...
on Mar. 22 2011 at 12:24 am
mal12, California
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
it's classy-not classic.

i really like your story! you do a good job of giving each of the characters their own personalities. Jake's my favorite :) 

keep writing and ide love to read more of your story soon! 5 stars!



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