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Black Hearts

EliandSep
Black Hearts
Summary: Winter and Fayte, bestfriends since forever attent a boarding school, Moonlight Academy, as boarding school can get exceedingly boring they decide to make a band with Winters lont-time boyfriend Luther, though Luther brings a surprise with him to auditions





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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Zuccini75 said...
Apr. 3, 2012 at 11:33 am

The story is good, like the plot and all, I really liked the idea - but the grammar and spelling mistakes kinda distracted from the story. 

You have talent - but you need Spellcheck!

 
nemish23 said...
Apr. 3, 2012 at 2:30 am

yeah, hate to sound picky but the grammar really needs some working on. it kinda catches your eye and draws away from the actual story.

but i loved it all the same and you have to keep going!!!

 
rainbowwaffles said...
Feb. 25, 2011 at 8:34 am

I like the story so far. Boarding schools are always cool to read about :) I'm looking forward to reading more.

Please don't take any of this personally, just trying to help: You should always capitalize the beginning of a sentence and put a period at the end. There are a lot of run-on sentences in the first chapter that could be broken into separate sentences. You should also put a comma before an ending quotation mark if following the quote is "he said" or "she said" or "he shouted" ... (more »)

 
EliandSep replied...
Mar. 8, 2011 at 4:08 am

why thankyou :)
and yes i have always been rather horrible with grammar, haha
i shall remember what you have said when i post the next chapter, and i shall check out your story :)

thanks - Sep

 

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