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A Soul to Guard

Author's note: Music
Author's note: Music  « Hide author's note
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Chapter 3

I could hear him humming above me, and I gazed up into his face. I had been crying, but I hoped that somehow he wouldn’t notice, I didn’t need him worrying about me any more than he had been. I lowered my eyes, and took a deep breath. I couldn’t do this anymore. I was a magnet for trouble, hadn’t he said that himself, the words tumbling through his perfect mouth? I wiped away the tears from my eyes as I gazed at him from my bed, nervously pulling at my covers.
I wasn’t sure how to do this: How to say goodbye to somebody I had loved this desperately, this intensely, but I knew I had to. I had to cut this off. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough, even though I knew I needed to be. But how strong can you be, when waiting for the imminent death of your heart? I crossed my fingers, and coughed, my signature move for getting a persons attention, and immediately he turned, smoothly walking towards me in fluid motion, none of the halting steps that I was liable to do. He walked so fast over to me and climbed onto the bed. He leaned his body over mine and without pausing held my head between his hands. His body was as ice-cold as the weather outside. When his lips found mine, everything felt normal. My mind started to ask so many questions, but I managed to block them out. There was only one thing that mattered now. My body started to shake, not just from the cold but from the touch also. There was a force behind the lips; I had never felt so much pressure. His hands slid down the curves of my waist and I broke away from the kiss. My breathing was irregular as his lips slid down my throat. My hands outlined the curves of his athletic body. Finally he looked at me, both of us trying to breath and stop shaking. There was no point in talking. He rolled over to the side and held me. I couldn’t cry even though there was tears in my eyes, I was to numb. After moments of silence he finally said, “What’s wrong Jordan, did I do something wrong?” His dark eyes burned into mine, and I was tempted for a moment to forget about the whole plan, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead I shook my head a silent, ‘no.’
“I need to know what’s wrong. I can feel there’s something you’re not telling me. If we are meant to be together than I need to know everything.”
I thought the sentence over and over through my head, before it rose to my tongue, the sheer effort of it killing me. “Then maybe we aren’t meant to be together.”
His voice broke, “You, you don’t mean that.” I tried to tear myself from his eyes…his face…his lips. How could I do this to him? Hadn’t he just saved me from unknown terrors? How could I pull an angel from the sky, only to trample him in the mud? A single tear fell from my eye, and I knew that before I could do any more damage I would be crying pathetically. But how else could I ensure that he would be okay? I loved him too much to be with him. I was dragging him down, and he couldn’t see that. I was the weakest link.
“Yes I do. It’s me. You- me, it’s not working out. I need to stop hurting you.” My voice came out in a whisper, and I couldn’t stop the tears that fell down my cheeks.
“And this isn’t hurting? Jordan, I never knew that a person could impact my life the way you have. The way I feel for you will never change, can’t you see that?” Of course I did, his love was the only thing that kept me going.
“You don’t belong with me, you belong with someone like, like Brittany.” I choked on the name as I said it. An image of her flitted into my mind; head cheerleader with her perfect platinum blonde hair, and name-brand clothes. She had been one of my best friends, but now…my thoughts grew interrupted at the sudden intensity of Jasper’s voice.
“I don’t want her. How the hell did she get in this conversation?” He started to raise his voice.
“If you don’t lower your voice, my mother is going to wake up and we are going to have bigger problems.”
“Yes. I do. I can’t be what you need.” The silence between us started to become unbearable. I looked away, the tears running freely down my face as I pulled my covers up higher. He took my hand and kissed it.
“I’ll always be there for you, but one day you’re going to wake up and wish you had the love that will last a lifetime, and I’ll be waiting for you.” With that said he walked over to the window. He looked back at me one last time and hopped out. After what seemed like hours, I finally broke down and sobbed, wishing back all my words, but knowing that it had to be for the best. But why did the best always seem to bring out the worst first?
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 28 Next »

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This book has 16 comments. Post your own now!

mudnainah said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 10:58 am

I beleive you need to work on this peice and make it more readable. If you know what I mean :)

Good job tho' I didn't read the whole story

SilverLuna said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm
You have a good writing foundation, that's something that is very evident in your work. However, your lack of originality is really unfortunate. I don't mean to be harsh, trust me, TI is a place that I love, but when I read your piece, from the first two pages alone, all I could think was "Twilight." I'm sure that was your inspiration, no? You have amped up the plots and drama of the entire thing, but it was hard of me ton be really drawn in when all I could do was draw comparisons. You write v... (more »)
BonitaG replied...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Thank you so much for your constructive criticism. And what is funny, is that this book was meant to be fan-fiction and I actually wrote this my Freshman year of High School and only posted it a while ago. My new book "Something Blue" is definitely new writing style and I wrote it my Senior Year of High School, and it is currently getting edited so I hope to publish it. That book is definitely the most ME I think it will get for a while. Thanks for your constructivism.
Cynthia14 said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm
This book was very good i loved it :) please continue its really good :)
teenagedream said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 12:25 pm
NIce!!!! but i need more:):):)
CresentShadow said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm
I love it, I think you should continue it, and only reply when you post more. (: It should turn into a movie. 
jellotinisjiggly24 said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:20 pm
wow this was amazing great job! Hey if anyone had time, could you please check out my story called the beast? It today it just got voted as the fourth best in the top novel. Thanks a bunch and keep writing everyone! :)(:
JesseShannon75 said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Very good book; kinda has a twilight feel to it..im keepin an eye out for more of your writing:) you need to write more:))
BleedingTearsCryingBlood said...
May 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I found it really confusing, I think it either needs a back story. Or if it is all a dream then make it seem more like a dream.
Itz_Bobbi18 said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I really liked this book its amazing i honestly don't see anythin wrong with it  but i really really like it and hope you keep writing more (:


KATastrophe said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 6:27 am

Chapter one is just a giant paragraph. Try indenting.

While reading, I noticed some parts seemed well akward. Mostly in your first few sentences. Re-read it outloud amd you may notice.

And if this was all a dream, I'd change your descriptions that are fully detailed. Because it's hard to think it was a dream when she can see everything on his face. Just my opinion.

I've only read the first chapter, and since you didn't give a summary of the book I don't know what I'm read... (more »)

Charly11d7 replied...
May 1, 2011 at 8:57 pm
I saw the indenting thing too, and it happened in my book, Teen Ink undoes the indentations.. btw
Ebonykitty said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:38 pm

I sure hope that wasn't the ending!


Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 5:49 am
It's okay, a lot of the language feels forced and you brak from the narrative a lot to tell us about irrelevent details.
HuntressEmma said...
Dec. 20, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Okay very good so far; I'm finished Ch. 2, but is the main guy's name Jordan or Jasper? Or is it two different people?
bon-bon replied...
Dec. 21, 2010 at 5:35 pm
two different people

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