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A Soul to Guard

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Author's note: Music
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Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 26 27 28

Chapter 28

Gray swirls of fog obscured my view of the figure in front of me. I squinted to try and see through the haze that swallowed the atmosphere. I knew it was Jasper, but I wanted to see him anyway. “Jasper.” My voice echoed through this gray hell, and the figure turned. We had been walking for 5 hours so far, and my legs ached from the sheer exertion of trying to keep up with him. “Yeah?” He stopped, allowing me to catch up to him, and my hand swiftly slid into his.
“How do you know they are here?” Worry crossed his face, and I could tell he had been agonizing over that same question as well.
“I don’t.” His voice was soft, and I was taken aback a bit. Part of me was hysterically happy. If they weren’t here, I wouldn’t have to change! But then realization overtook me, and I began to tremble.
“But you…” He cut me off, and began, obviously thinking I was talking about him not being able to change himself once he changed. Instead I was thinking of him not being able to remain human.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise.” He vowed fiercely, “If I even so much as think about hurting you, I’ll kill myself, so help me, I will. But right now, I will do everything in my power to get you to the humans.” His eyes bored into mine, and I bit my lip: a nervous habit I had developed whenever I was scared or frustrated. “I’d rather have you hurt me, then spend a life without you.”
“I wish you would stop being overly dramatic. You’re going to have to live without me.” His voice was hard, and I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. My shoulder drooped, and his hands slipped around my waist and gently squeezed it.
“Are you so desperate to get rid of me?” My voice was small, and I could feel his stare on the side of my face.
“Desperate to get rid of you?” Shock wound into his voice, and he jerked my face upwards as he looked at me. His cold hands cradled my face and I stared into his dark eyes and noticed that a gold fire blazed within the depths of them. “Desperate?” His voice hissed through his perfectly white teeth, and he gripped my face harder and jerked it towards him, his cool breath washing over my face. Our lips crushed together, and my body folded into the cracks and spaces of his. His lips were hard and warm and melting as they touched mine, invaded mine, and I began to choke for air, but still he continued. A hand wound itself through my hair and suddenly we were falling onto the cold hard dirt, but he still wasn’t done. His hand slid across the flat of my stomach, and a slow whimper escaped my lips as he continued to press on. I turned my head to the side, allowing my long hair to obscure my vision, and his lips moved slowly down my neck, and I began to shake. Slowly he pulled his head up to mine, where he carefully balanced his face on my chin. His dark eyes burned into mine, and I couldn’t help but return his gaze, as my chest rose and fell with deep gasps. “If anything, I’m desperate for you.” His voice was low and husky, and I tried to avoid his gaze, but his fingers caught my chin, and pulled it upwards again, forcing me to look at him. “Never doubt my love for you Jordy. Never.” His breath did strange things to my mind, and I couldn’t help but continue to shake from the desire in his voice, but he rolled off of me, his still form lying beside my own.
Footsteps sounded in the distance, and Jasper stiffened.
“What is it?” I heard myself say, although I sounded different, as if I was speaking through water.
“Humans.” He spoke with confidence, and a sudden rage filled me.
“You KNEW they were coming?”
“I can smell them.” I gazed him, who was this stranger laying beside me?
“Since when did humans have a smell?” I asked. I could hear the contempt in my voice, and fear gripped my insides. He opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly he began to shake; small whimpers arose from his throat. He sounded like a small puppy that was dying as he lay there, convulsing on the ground. I glanced at my watch; his nine hours were nearly up. In my mind I knew I should be backing up, keeping a safe distance from him, but instead I bent down over his writhing form, and pulled my fingers through his dark hair. The locks of his hair swirled around my fingers, and tears pooled in my eyes as I watched him shake. I wanted to help him, take his pain upon myself, but I knew I couldn’t. Or could I? A hint of silver caught my eyes, and I yanked it from Jasper’s pocket. What was the deal with changing? A big enough wound? Yes, that was it. I closed my eyes and slid open the knife, allowing the thick blade to lay naked in my fingers. But where could I cut? Not someplace where it could ultimately kill me, but somewhere else. Anxiously I lowered the knife to my thigh, and began to press the skin. I had been this hyper to hurt myself, but then again, I never really had a reason to. My excitement numbed the pain for the first bit, but as I began to cut deeper, screams emitted from my throat. My eyes flickered open, and footsteps now clearly rang in my ears. I looked down at the perfect creature by my side, and began to cut deeper, but blackness began to fill my vision. Blood pooled from my leg, and then I disappeared into another place-somewhere dark.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 26 27 28


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This book has 16 comments. Post your own now!

mudnainah said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 10:58 am

I beleive you need to work on this peice and make it more readable. If you know what I mean :)

Good job tho' I didn't read the whole story

 
SilverLuna said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm
You have a good writing foundation, that's something that is very evident in your work. However, your lack of originality is really unfortunate. I don't mean to be harsh, trust me, TI is a place that I love, but when I read your piece, from the first two pages alone, all I could think was "Twilight." I'm sure that was your inspiration, no? You have amped up the plots and drama of the entire thing, but it was hard of me ton be really drawn in when all I could do was draw comparisons. You write v... (more »)
 
BonitaG replied...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Thank you so much for your constructive criticism. And what is funny, is that this book was meant to be fan-fiction and I actually wrote this my Freshman year of High School and only posted it a while ago. My new book "Something Blue" is definitely new writing style and I wrote it my Senior Year of High School, and it is currently getting edited so I hope to publish it. That book is definitely the most ME I think it will get for a while. Thanks for your constructivism.
 
Cynthia14 said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm
This book was very good i loved it :) please continue its really good :)
 
teenagedream said...
Sept. 24, 2011 at 12:25 pm
NIce!!!! but i need more:):):)
 
CresentShadow said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm
I love it, I think you should continue it, and only reply when you post more. (: It should turn into a movie. 
 
jellotinisjiggly24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 19, 2011 at 6:20 pm
wow this was amazing great job! Hey if anyone had time, could you please check out my story called the beast? It today it just got voted as the fourth best in the top novel. Thanks a bunch and keep writing everyone! :)(:
 
JesseShannon75 said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Very good book; kinda has a twilight feel to it..im keepin an eye out for more of your writing:) you need to write more:))
 
BleedingTearsCryingBlood said...
May 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I found it really confusing, I think it either needs a back story. Or if it is all a dream then make it seem more like a dream.
 
Itz_Bobbi18 said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 4:51 pm

I really liked this book its amazing i honestly don't see anythin wrong with it  but i really really like it and hope you keep writing more (:

 

 
KATastrophe said...
Mar. 18, 2011 at 6:27 am

Chapter one is just a giant paragraph. Try indenting.

While reading, I noticed some parts seemed well akward. Mostly in your first few sentences. Re-read it outloud amd you may notice.

And if this was all a dream, I'd change your descriptions that are fully detailed. Because it's hard to think it was a dream when she can see everything on his face. Just my opinion.

I've only read the first chapter, and since you didn't give a summary of the book I don't know what I'm read... (more »)

 
Charly11d7 replied...
May 1, 2011 at 8:57 pm
I saw the indenting thing too, and it happened in my book, Teen Ink undoes the indentations.. btw
 
Ebonykitty said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 10:38 pm

I sure hope that wasn't the ending!

~Ebony~

 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 5:49 am
It's okay, a lot of the language feels forced and you brak from the narrative a lot to tell us about irrelevent details.
 
HuntressEmma said...
Dec. 20, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Okay very good so far; I'm finished Ch. 2, but is the main guy's name Jordan or Jasper? Or is it two different people?
 
bon-bon replied...
Dec. 21, 2010 at 5:35 pm
two different people
 

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