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Unorthodox Angel

Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.
Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »

Chapter Three; Phoenix

I was so screwed. I was running ten minutes late, and that meant a good thrashing. Mom and Dad would probably have a belt ready. I pulled in, prayed that they might have an ounce of mercy, and slowly got out of the car. I quickly ran to the door, expecting to open it to a slap in the face.
I could hear screaming. Not the normal screaming, but ear-piercing, blood-curdling, no-words screaming. It was a female and male voice, so I knew they were at each other’s throats. I knew I should have just walked in, went to my room, and said nothing, but a voice said that I should be there in case one of them got stabby.
A part of me wanted to watch them kill each other, and other said that was too harsh. It was like the little angel and devil sitting on your shoulder. One said, do it! The other said, do not! I was torn between the two, wanting to do both.
Using all my courage, I opened the door and flinched as the screaming grew to the point of busting my eardrums. I came to the kitchen doorway, and peered in. What I saw was several broken dishes, spilled food, and two familiar faces choked in red and tears. They screamed so loud that I thought maybe the windows would shatter. I stood, thinking of intervening, but wanting to stay out.
My thoughts of intervening really went down when I saw Mom waving a death trap; a thirty-eight special. She had got it from when her and her drunk buddies would play Russian Roulette. Yes, I said Russian Roulette. The game where you try to shoot yourself in the head. I’m surprised she didn’t kill herself already. I knew she’d kill Dad, and, frankly, I needed someone.
I ran in front of Dad and yelled over the screams, “Put it down! NOW!”
She stared at me in a crooked manner. Like I had four heads. If she was drunk, she probably did see four heads. “Put it down!” I yelled again.
“NO!,” she snapped. “I’ll kill you both! You wretched souls of hell!” she screamed-and raised the gun.
“NO!!!” I screamed, and she fired. I felt a fire enter my chest, my knees falter, and collapse. I felt my head crack against the cold, hard, linoleum, and, for a moment, thought I saw a light, and everything went black.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »

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This book has 48 comments. Post your own now!

Kearaa said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 10:05 am
No no no. Thats not what I meant. Its a very good story. I was just thrownoff from it because of the chapter where you copied a concept from twilight. I do truly like this story though. it just irks me when someone can't come up with a completely orignal story.But contrary to that, your concept is very orignal and I very much like the idea.
laurenangela said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 2:49 pm
thank you very much. i think i understand
emmacxoxoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 3:55 pm
this is a really cute story :) I like the plot a lot and its very entertaining. Just from my point of view you should work on sentence fluency and varying word choice a bit though, because it'll help your overall work :) check out my stuff if u want, but nice job again
laurenangela replied...
Mar. 21, 2011 at 10:44 am
thanks! i always enjoy feedback!!
Behindthelooks11 said...
Feb. 1, 2011 at 11:03 am
I really liked your story. Phoenix and Jakobie falling in love seems natural and not forced. :)
laurenangela replied...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm
thank you so much! i love feedback on my stories, positive and negative. this is my first love story, so it's good to know i did it right! thanks again!
musiclover94 said...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I think it was so sweet to write this for you grandfather and I'm really sorry for your loss. You're a great writer, keep it up!!
laurenangela replied...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 6:34 pm
hey musiclover94! this is laurenangela. you really made my day with your nice comment. i needed it a lot. thanks.

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