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Unorthodox Angel

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Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.
Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 12 Next »

Chapter Four; Jakobie

There was talk of an emergency coming in. Gunshot wound to the chest. I was considering checking it out, thinking it was a probably a drug deal gone bad. I walked down the hall to the elevators and to the emergency room. I saw so many cases of sickness, heart attacks, pregnancies, but none that drew me particularly to them. I didn’t think I heard right, but then I heard the motion-activated doors squeal open, and a mass of nurses, EMTs and a bed with tubes and straps came through. I watched as they ran through the halls, screaming “Coming through!”
I followed curiously. I could barely make out the face of a young girl from behind an oxygen mask. I didn’t know her name, but I knew she was probably seventeen or eighteen. I followed beside the bed as it snaked it’s way to the elevator and the ICU. The personnel began to pack the wound in her chest with gauze. The doctor at the ICU gave her grim circumstances. She needed immediate surgery to remove the bullet, and it was dangerously close to her heart.
They came upon the decision to do it, so they wheeled her to the operating room. Before long, they were skillfully picking at the bullet and pulled it from her chest. She soon was in one of the large rooms in the ICU. I visited her, and listened to the doctor give the update to someone who was probably a relative. She was a medium-height, heavy woman with short reddish-brown hair, and so much worry etched into the wrinkles in her face.
The girl was not looking good. She had a lot of damage, and now had slipped into a coma. Her chance of waking up was slim to none. Upon hearing this, the woman began to slip into tears, and almost collapsed. I put my arm around her, trying to help her just a little, to keep her from falling and hurting herself. She had no idea that I was there.
The doctor left her to her tears and the girl. The woman went to her bedside and took her frail hand, wasted by the IV and tape covering it. She began to talk to her.
“Phoenix, you didn’t deserve this! I know she didn’t mean it! I love you! Please stay with me!,” she cried.
So this frail girl was Phoenix. I looked at her beautiful face, covered by tape and a tube in her throat. The machines were the only things keeping her alive. I gently touched her hand, then her face.
“Phoenix, I know you can hear me. Your family needs you. Stay with us. You’ll be okay,” I said. I walked out of the room, started down the hall, and waited for what I wanted to hear; the woman shrieking that Phoenix was waking up. A nurse said that it was impossible, and that she was just twitching.
“How can she just be twitching when she’s opening her eyes and looking right at me!” the woman yelled. Like with Jim, they rushed in and removed the tube. Gasps of amazement floated out of the room.
I smiled at that same pleasure I always enjoyed. I love my job.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 12 Next »


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This book has 48 comments. Post your own now!

ZoePaliski said...
Apr. 15, 2013 at 8:14 pm
I lost my dad so I understand how you feel about your grandpa. I loved the story, and the last part about your grandpa was so sweet. Keep writing!
 
RoseLuvsTulips said...
Apr. 10, 2013 at 2:10 pm
I read the end of the chapter and I was AWW! Then I read the part to your grandpa and I almost cried. Great story though!
 
Love_Jesus18 said...
Jan. 30, 2013 at 11:05 am
love the story i am glad that it was like twilight and it was very beautiful but i am so sorry about your grandpa....
 
poemluv said...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 11:49 am
I love it! It's amazing and touching(:
 
nemish23 said...
Mar. 23, 2012 at 5:10 pm

It's a little bit like twilight but apart from that it's a great story! I love the characters, especially their names, they are beautiful.

I'm sorry about your grandfather. I lost a relative too and then wrote a story based on it too. 'From My Heart' if you wanna check it out.

It's funny how writing sometimes helps us grieve right?

But keep writing, you have an awesome talent :)

 
Winged.Living.Free.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 3, 2012 at 6:49 pm
Beautiful! And I'm happy for your Grandpa. :)(:
 
Roselove445This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm
That was so good please keep writing i would love to read more!!! :)
 
BluBirdWriter13 said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 7:35 pm
i cried during half of it its so beautifuel
 
BelleRoy said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 5:39 am
This is amazing. You are a terrific writer, and I bet your grandpa is so proud of you and is looking out for you everyday. Thank you for writing this.
 
Jeera said...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 4:15 pm
This story is really good and it's pure. :) I like it a lot and your comment at the end is really sweet. I'm sure your grandpa loves it :)
 
JustCallMeSarah said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 10:54 am
It wont let me add this as a favorite! DX Beautifuly written, loved it =)
 
no1texastiger said...
Sept. 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Aww! I loved this story! Fantastic job!
 
SilverLuna said...
Sept. 19, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Pretty dang good!(:
 
laurenangela replied...
Sept. 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm
thank you!
 
LilLover5-15 said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 10:41 am
LOVE IT!Absolutley love it
 
. replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 12:58 pm
thank you!
 
. replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Thank you!
 
AnyaLafayaa said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 6:19 pm
This story is so amazing! There's not one spelling error, it's sweet, and has a spectacular plot. I'm completely impressed. Honestly, this story deserves to be number one, it's so heart warming and written well. I'm positive your grandfather is proud of you. Nice work!
 
laurenangela replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 7:54 pm
thank you so much!
 
Bookworm1998 said...
Jul. 3, 2011 at 10:41 pm
beautiful story! i love both of your main characters and i love how cautious and well-minded Phoenix is. i just wish that the story could last longer :)
 

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