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Unorthodox Angel

Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.
Author's note: I wrote this for my grandpa, as he passed away in September of 2010.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »

Chapter One; Jakobie

I calmly stood in the corner of the room, waiting for the family to sit down and leave the dying man at peace. I had seen it so many times. The family was reduced to tears and I would step in and perform a miracle. They would be so happy that their loved one was awake, or progressing, or getting better, a pleasure that I continue to smile about.
This man, Jim, was close to the end. He just came out of surgery for a ruptured aneurism in his belly. Most cases like these didn’t live, even with my help. I noticed a teenage girl in the opposite corner. She didn’t cry loudly like the others. She simply buried her hands in her arms and cried to the point of sickness. Every now and then, she’d utter the same words; “I love you, Grandpa. Don‘t leave me.” It made me upset, seeing her suffer. I knew this would have to be a miracle.
I moved in between two women, holding each other and crying. Gingerly, I touched Jim’s face. “Your family needs you, Jim. Especially your granddaughter,” I whispered. As I walked to the door, I looked at the crying girl. I bent down to her level, placed my hand on her shoulder, and whispered, “Grandpa’s going to be okay.” I gently kissed her forehead, and walked out the door. I turned to look into the glass door, and I watched as Jim moved slightly in his bed, and the women caught it.
“Daddy? Daddy, are you awake? Can you hear me?” one woman said. Jim made a mumbling sound, and the monitor started to beep. She ran out the door and shouted down the hall, “NURSE!! He’s awake!” At that sign, two nurses jumped up and ran to the room. I watched as they quickly removed the tube in his throat, and reset monitors. One nurse paged the doctor. I saw him come down the hall, a complex look on his face. He was wondering how his patient could be awake.
My eyes went to the girl next. She was watching now. Wondering if her grandfather was dying, or getting better. For a few moments, the tears stopped. Soon, Jim looked up at the nurses and the doctor. I read their minds. How is this possible?! they thought. He can’t be awake!
The girl jumped from her chair and ran to her grandfather. “You’re alive!” she said. Jim put his hand on her shoulder.
“You need me,” he whispered.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 12 Next »

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This book has 48 comments. Post your own now!

Kearaa said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 10:05 am
No no no. Thats not what I meant. Its a very good story. I was just thrownoff from it because of the chapter where you copied a concept from twilight. I do truly like this story though. it just irks me when someone can't come up with a completely orignal story.But contrary to that, your concept is very orignal and I very much like the idea.
laurenangela said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 2:49 pm
thank you very much. i think i understand
emmacxoxoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 17, 2011 at 3:55 pm
this is a really cute story :) I like the plot a lot and its very entertaining. Just from my point of view you should work on sentence fluency and varying word choice a bit though, because it'll help your overall work :) check out my stuff if u want, but nice job again
laurenangela replied...
Mar. 21, 2011 at 10:44 am
thanks! i always enjoy feedback!!
Behindthelooks11 said...
Feb. 1, 2011 at 11:03 am
I really liked your story. Phoenix and Jakobie falling in love seems natural and not forced. :)
laurenangela replied...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm
thank you so much! i love feedback on my stories, positive and negative. this is my first love story, so it's good to know i did it right! thanks again!
musiclover94 said...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I think it was so sweet to write this for you grandfather and I'm really sorry for your loss. You're a great writer, keep it up!!
laurenangela replied...
Dec. 19, 2010 at 6:34 pm
hey musiclover94! this is laurenangela. you really made my day with your nice comment. i needed it a lot. thanks.

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