Don't Need Anyone

December 10, 2010
By OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch


Summary:

But the chances of those happening are nil.
A million health issues that won't go away.
Parents determined to blow their vocal cords.
A concerned, troubled best friend.
A missing brother.
A strange, artistic guy.
A crazy girl determined to succeed.
What does that add up to?

Filled with laughs, probably not a whole lot of tears, butt-plants and balloons sprouting from kitty bums, follow Renee as she struggles to suppress her feelings(and sarcastic comments) and find her brother before it's too late.


Lexie B.

Don't Need Anyone


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This book has 113 comments.


on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:48 pm
Black_Ink SILVER, Miami, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life... to put to rout all that was not life; and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." - Henry David Thoreau

The preview of your novel is just amazing. I loved the realistic characters and the plot line. You should look into publication [if you haven't already!] 

Good luck!(:


on Feb. 18 2011 at 7:28 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

OH WAIT, I got that from the flashback. :o Whoops, haha. I knew I read something about her being 13 in this story. :P

on Feb. 18 2011 at 6:54 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Hehe thank you Angie! =D

 

....thirteen? o_O

 

I think you're thinking of I'm Just Thirteen. ;D That's a different book.  Renee is 16.


on Feb. 18 2011 at 4:50 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I know that you have had a TON of feedback on Inkpop. And they did such a good job with the feedback I really don't have any criticism. :o

My only question is: people date that much at thirteen now? To me, this story sounds like it'd be from someone older than a thirteen year old, but that's just me.

I think I'm going to finish reading this on Inkpop because it was amazing. :)

You definitely need to send some queries about publishing because it was amazing. I'd definitely buy it!

Now I feel really bad because I don't have any real advice on how to improve it. :o The spacing was kinda...bad, but I know that's TeenInk's fault. D:

Good job! :)


on Feb. 13 2011 at 1:03 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! =) If you mean continue writing the book, I've already finished it. =D

on Feb. 13 2011 at 1:01 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you! =) 

on Feb. 12 2011 at 12:15 pm
reading_under_h2o, Warren, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've always imagined that paradice would be a kind of library. -Jorge Luis Borges

This is a really goood book, are you going to continue writing?

charmiypiggy said...
on Feb. 11 2011 at 5:58 am
charmiypiggy, Melbourne, Other
0 articles 0 photos 116 comments

Favorite Quote:
You eat food for the enjoyment of it; the fact that it helps you stay alive is just a bonus.

Wow. I really loved this! I've read over some of the other comments, and pretty mch anything I say will be a repeat of someone else's. So I just wanna say that this is awesome, and I would love to read more. Excellent writing!

on Feb. 10 2011 at 8:43 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thanks! =) 

on Feb. 10 2011 at 6:39 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
I'm too lazy and impatient to read this all in one sitting, but what I've read so far is great! You are a fantastic writer!

on Feb. 5 2011 at 11:24 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

-headdesk- I found out a couple weeks ago--yeah, sorry about that. =P I don't want to edit the chapter 'cause that would take this down for a few weeks.

Azrael BRONZE said...
on Feb. 4 2011 at 9:08 pm
Azrael BRONZE, Santa Ana, California
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To lie to him was to ruin him..." Schuyler Van Alen on Jack Force from the Blue Bloods Series by Melissa De La Cruz.

 Our time is running out, its not from Uprising by Muse but its a line in a song called Time IS Running Out by Muse......

on Feb. 4 2011 at 10:05 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you! =D I'm glad you like it. I probably won't post more until they disable copy & paste, but the whole thing is posted on inkpop. =)

 

And I will definitely try to check that out. =D


on Feb. 3 2011 at 6:31 pm
Elizabeth_Day SILVER, Battle Ground, Washington
9 articles 0 photos 34 comments
I really REALLY like this.  The voice is fantastic!  A lot of the time, when I read novels on teen ink, it feels like I have to really push past the first few chapters.  It wasn't like that with your story at all.  I was in Renee's head, saw what she saw, felt what she felt.  Great job!  My only concern is that most of your paragraphs are only one or two sentences, which barely qualifies them as paragraphs.  PLEASE post more.  I'm totally into this story.  By the way, if you could comment on my short story, The Firejumper, that'd be awesome. 

on Jan. 26 2011 at 6:55 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Haha thank you so much! XD

 

I intend to keep writing! D= -runs away from pitchforks- 

 

And yes, I just realized that irony. xD


Annerdy BRONZE said...
on Jan. 26 2011 at 4:55 pm
Annerdy BRONZE, San Francisco, California
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

I read beyond the first chapter because that's what thorough critiquing is all about. And heck, it was just THAT good. (: I liked the voices you gave each character so they were witty, humorous and memorable. There was never a boring patch anywhere so the storyline flowed very easily. The writing was definitely fantastic because it was almost like a movie was playing in my head. (: If this was published, I would probably purchase this novel in a heartbeat. The way you incorporated humor, pain (Jared's disappearance), family problems and opportunity for romance (Cole) in 3 chapters was amazing. I don't have anything bad to say. o: Just keep writing! -evil glare- (I will hunt you down if I don't get to read anymore of this awesome work. Just kidding.) ...or am I? :D 

 

P.S. The irony between the "Goober Cookie Monster" on my thread and the cookie dough air freshener made me laugh. (: Wow, I'm weird at critiquing work. Oh well, it's my style and I'm never going to change for anybody. :] You too, keep doing what you do best. Good luck!


on Jan. 25 2011 at 8:05 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you for the comment. =) Don't worry, I have the same pet peeve.  And like I said with lovelycheese, I will certainly try.  I have a busy schedule. =P

on Jan. 25 2011 at 3:06 pm
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments

I really liked the first two chapters, but i have a pet peeve of reading when dialogue isn't on separate lines. :( Sorry, I know it's not your fault, just some formatting issue. I'll definitely get around to reading it, though, I want to know what happens next. :D I've seen some of your comments on other people's novels and you seem very helpful. If it's not too much to ask for, (you must be tired of hearing this...) but could you maybe check out mine? It's called The Formation. It's in the Realistic Fiction section. It's not nearly as good as this, though....


on Jan. 25 2011 at 6:51 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

=D Thank you for the comment, Timekeeper.  I'm glad you liked it.

 

I'll try to comment on SuperNOVA when possible. :)


on Jan. 25 2011 at 6:50 am
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Thank you for the comment. =)  I will definitely try to comment on that--my time is limited, but I'll get to it as soon as possible.


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