Adam's Journal | Teen Ink

Adam's Journal

January 16, 2015
By sraju, South Pasadena, California
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sraju, South Pasadena, California
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The rain was pouring. The battlefield was lit up by the full moon. But I didn’t care; I continued to fight valiantly with my fellow knights. I was on one of my quests.
I performed a different quest everyday, by myself. Everyday, after school, at 3:30 P.M. in the New Utrecht Branch Library, I never ran out of quests.
I was different from the other kids. I knew I was different, but I wondered why. “Why me?” I would ask myself as the other kids made fun of my abnormally shaped ears. I wondered why I was so weak, and why I had a misshapen face.  But I couldn’t control who I was. I couldn’t control my inability to talk to people like the other kids could.
But books gave me a way out. It was my way to be normal. I was in the library from the time I got out of school till when mom had to drag me home to eat dinner. Some days I would leave school to go reading at the library.

It was the day after Christmas; Mom said she caught Dad cleaning another women’s pipes. So, Dad had to leave and Mom and me had to move. We planned to move to Omaha, Nebraska.
I never understood why he had to leave and why we had to move. I don’t know why he would get in trouble for helping another woman with her pipes. But I didn’t really care. Dad wasn’t home often anyways so I hadn’t really developed a relationship with him. He only came home the night before Christmas and stayed till New Years Day. But, when the clock hit twelve on the morning of January 2nd each year he would be gone again.
I sometimes wondered how it would feel to go fishing with my dad. I always thought that he wasn’t home because I was different. But Mom always told me that Dad was different and that’s why he didn’t want to be home. I never understood this either. I guess I didn’t understand a lot of things, but mom said that that is what makes me different. She said I had a different outlook on life.
Anyways, today, Monday, is the big day. Mom and I are moving to Omaha. School ended last Friday the 16 of June. Mom decided that we should move as soon as possible so I could get acquainted with the new city and make some friends and so Mom could find a new job.  Change scared me though. But Mom always said change is a part of life whether or not you like it or not, so the faster you learn to accept it the faster you can learn to embrace it.
The drive to Omaha was 19 hours long and we figured that if we made four stops on our way there we would be there in two days. We left our Ditmas Park house at 5 in the morning. I ate a pb and j sandwich in the car. The sun hadn’t risen yet and I was extremely tired. It was as black as space. It was darker than coal. It was so dark I couldn’t even see five feet in front of me. On top of that, I woke up at four in the morning. I have never been up before the sunrise. I need my beauty sleep. If there were something that I cherish more than books and food, it would be sleep.
Mom drove for seven hours, and I would have kept her company but I was so tired I fell asleep thirty minutes into the drive. I slept for all seven hours. Mom woke me up at twelve-thirty for a lunch pit stop at Akron, Ohio. I didn’t know much about Akron other than the fact that LeBron James is from Akron. For the most part it was a city similar to that of Ditmas Park. Well developed and clean. Since we weren’t familiar with the area we just decided to get food from McDonalds. My Mom and I don’t eat out much. In fact, I hadn’t had McDonald’s since I was in pre-school. The only item on the menu that I knew was the McChicken so I got that. I was surprised. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I thought it tasted good. My Mom was even more surprised than I was. She always thought and told me that McDonalds was fake food. I originally ordered one, but after eating one I had to have another. I ended up eating four McChickens. Mom ate two. We bought three extra for the road.
We continued on our trip, leaving Akron at one-thirty. We had seven more hours to go for today. I felt tired from all the eating and so I fell asleep again but this time only for two hours. I woke up around three thirty and began talking with Mom. We talked about what we thought Omaha would be like. I was worried about the quality of the library. After talking for an hour I began a quest and continued on it for three hours, but Mom felt tired of driving so we called it a day and we rented a room at a motel 6. Mom and I finished the McChickens and we went to bed at eight.
The next day followed basically the same, except the drive time was shorter. And we only had to make one stop for breakfast. When we arrived at our house, I was surprised at the size. It was bigger than our house in Ditmas Park.
“Mom this place is humongous. It must’ve been like a billion dollars!”
“I know it’s big isn’t it? But don’t worry about the cost, we’re in a less populated area so it’s cheaper.”
“But how are you gonna to pay the mortgage.”
“How do you know what a mortgage is? Anyhow don’t worry about that Adam. I’m the Mom and it’s my job to take care of you.”
“But you don’t have a job. How am I going to be able to buy books? Mom, you know I like books, right.”
“Of course I do, just stop talking and pick which room you want. I’ll take care of you, understand?”
“OK.”

Mom wasn’t very reassuring but I trusted her. She was the only person in the world that I trusted. I told her everything. I told her my deepest darkest secrets. Like one time when I was five years old, a student in my class brought cupcakes to school. At the time I had a crush on this girl named Mia. Someone threw a cupcake and it was on trajectory to hit her. I stepped in front of her to block it and it my pants. Since I had already eaten my cupcake it looked like I spilled cupcake on my pants. Although this seems like a harmless situation, my classmates made fun of me for a whole month after that. They said that I didn’t know how to eat, that I was stupid and dumb. They made me cry a lot and they made me resent them. The kids were brutal in bullying me. But Mom always got me through it. She would calm me down and console me and ultimately get me through tough situations. There was no way I couldn’t trust her.
         I decided since we drove for so long and I was tired of traveling I would just lay down and sleep for the rest of the day.

I woke up early Wednesday morning to check out the local library. Since we didn’t have Internet yet, I had to walk to the coffee shop across the street to find out where it was. I walked into the coffee shop and got onto one of the computers. I had trouble logging on.

“This computer sucks.” I said.
“Well maybe you should turn the computer screen on,” she said. “My name is Sarah. Sarah Martin.”

I turned around and saw the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She had sparkly blue eyes. Her hair was a dark blond color almost brown. Her face was incredible. She had freckles on her nose. She made my jaw drop. Literally, my jaw was hanging. It took me a couple of seconds to realize what she had said. Her face was mesmerizing. I couldn’t stop staring. Finally I said

“Uh, um, hi. Hello. My name is Adam Darude. Thanks for helping me. I’m new to this place. I just moved into my house yesterday.”
“Yeah, no problem. And I could tell you’re not from here. The way you talk, it’s different. I’ve lived here forever. I was born and raised in Omaha and I’ve never been anywhere else. Never been traveling before.”
“Hey would you mind showing me where the library is? I was trying to use the computer to find the local library.”
“Umm. Well ok, I’ve got time. Follow me.”

We walked two blocks up the street to the library. She stayed with me while I looked through the books. She was so nice. I couldn’t stop thinking about her while I looked through the book.

“You’ve been staring at that page for an awfully long time Adam.” She said.
“Oh, what?” I asked.
“That page, you’ve been looking at it for nearly ten minutes.” She replied.
“Oh, I hadn’t noticed, I was thinking.”
“What were you thinking about?”

In my head I thought to myself, “I’m thinking of you.”
But I instead said

“The book, the book.”
“Oh, well we’ve been here for fifteen minutes now. You wanna see the school? I’m gonna to meet up with some of my friends at the school. It’s not that far away from here.”

I wasn’t really interested in seeing the school, and I didn’t really want to meet her friends. But, I did want to spend more time with her.

“Yeah, sure that sounds like fun.”
“Awesome, come with me.”

We walked up another block up the same street. We came from the backside of the school where all the athletic facilities were. They had a multipurpose gym, indoor swimming pool, and indoor ice hockey rink. The school was disproportionate to the rest of the town. Most of the town consisted of small building. Even the apartment complexes never exceeded two stories. This high school was double the size of my old high school. The school was an indoor campus that had six stories. It was practically a skyscraper compared to the rest of the town. Not only that, the bottom floor took up the space of three football fields. Speaking of football fields, this place had a stadium that could ten thousand people for their football field. The football stadium was amazing. The football field was also used for soccer games. Sarah told me that our football team was league champs six seasons in a row.
        
         We came up to the front of the school, where Sarah’s friends were waiting. There were three of them there; two of them were boys who were taller than me, and much stronger looking than me. They looked like football or ice hockey players; they looked similar to Sarah, pale skin and dark blond hair. But the similarities stopped there. Sarah’s face was exact and symmetrical. The two boys were missing some teeth and had bruises on their faces. And their noses were crooked. One had blue eyes and the other had brown eyes. The boys looked similar. Kind of like twins. I assume because of the loss of teeth that they are hockey players.
         The other friend was a girl. She was pretty, but not nearly that of Sarah. She was like the Gretchen Wieners to the Regina George.
         Her friends walked over to us so synchronized they were like ‘N Sync.

“Hey Sarah, you’re late, we’ve been waiting here for ten minutes.” said blue eyes.
“Yeah the movie starts in five minutes and we still need to buy tickets,” said brown eyes.
“Guys, take it easy, I’m sure she has a reason for being late.” said the girl.
“Thank you Susan. I was showing my friend Adam around town. He’s new to Omaha. He just moved here yesterday. We got a little carried away at the library.” Sarah said.
“Hi Adam, I’m Susan.” Susan said.
“Hi, I’m Adam Darude.” I replied.
“Hey there pipsqueak, I’m Brian,” said blue eyes.

         Brian acted with so much swag he was like Justin Bieber’s twin brother.

“Hey be nice Brian.” Susan said.
“I’m just playin around,” said Brian.
“Yeah, it’s ok.” I said.
“See Susan.” Brain said.
“Nice to meet you Adam, I’m Thomas” said brown eyes.

Generally different from, though in some ways similar to Brain, Thomas was like Justin Bieber, a cool.

“Hi.” I replied.
“C’mon guys we have to go we’re going to be late. Are you coming Adam?” asked Brian.
“Yeah you should come,” added Sarah.
“Well, ok.” I said.

But I thought to myself, “I don’t really want to go, but maybe I might get to sit next to Sarah.” So I went.
         We got into Brian’s car and went to the movie theater. During the car ride I learned that Brian and Thomas are twin brothers and that they made the Varsity Ice Hockey team as freshmen this year. However, Brian and Thomas had different personalities. Thomas was a very nice person and was also very quite. But he was witty when he talked. He was also very intelligent. He was good at Ice Hockey but his brother was better. Brian was very aggressive. He was more extroverted than Thomas.
         We arrived at the movie theater and we decided to watch the Maze Runner. I had read the book and that the movie would be good.
While we were getting the popcorn I saw Brian put his arm around Sarah and place a kiss on her lips. I was felt like crying. Even though I had just met her I felt something strong about her.  I was torn. I thought to myself “suck it up son.” And so I did and I watched the movie.
The movie helped me get that thought out of my mind. It was almost dinnertime when we got out of the theater and we decided to go to the McDonalds. Now armed with the knowledge of what to eat at McDonald’s I got my usual McChicken. Everyone ordered the same thing as me. We ate at the restaurant, and then Brian drove everyone home.
When I got home mom yelled at me for not telling her where I went and not taking my phone so I could text her where I went. But I wasn’t in the mood for listening to this. The thought of Brian kissing Sarah was still sitting fresh in my mind.
I went to my room and thought. Today was bittersweet I concluded. I made more friends in a matter of hours than I have in my entire life. But I also had strong feelings for Sarah. I’ve never felt like this before. Maybe it’s love. But, I can’t like her. It’s not an option. She already has a boyfriend and she was just trying to be nice to me. But she was super nice to me; maybe she’s just nice to everyone. Whatever, just forget about her. But I can’t. She occupies all my thoughts.
I just realized that I never got their numbers. Will I ever be able to see them again, let alone hangout with them. I also realized that this is the first time I have ever thought about other people. My mind used to be occupied by books and quests. I looked at the clock. It was eight. I was thinking for a couple of hours now. I felt tired so I decided to go to sleep.
I slept in till ten o’clock. When I woke up, I heard commotion in the living room. I went in and saw a guy from the cable company. He was setting up our TV, Internet, and Phone services. It looks like while I was gone yesterday Mom bought a TV. She got a fifty-five-inch Samsung Smart TV. It looked awesome. Mom said she got a job yesterday too. She was signed to a realtor firm. Mom was a realtor in Ditmas Park too. She says that Omaha has a bunch of new development properties coming up and that they need more real estate agents.
We still didn’t have furniture so we just sat on the floor and watched TV. Mom and me always spend a lot of time together. The times when I am not reading I spend with my mom. My mom was pretty.  I noticed that she had this kind of twinkle in her eyes now that I hadn’t noticed when we were in Ditmas Park. She says that Omaha is our new start.
“Mom, you wanna go do something today?” I said.
“Sure, what do you wanna to do?” She asked.
“I’m not sure, maybe we could go Go-Karting?” I replied.
“Since when do you like Go-Karting?” she wondered.
“I’ve never tried before, why not try it now? “ I said.
“Oh. Ok. That sounds like a plan, great idea Adam.” She replied.

         Mom went in the kitchen and whipped up some French toast. I went in the restroom and got ready to go. I as I ate mom got ready.
         French toast was one of my favorite breakfast meals, also enjoyed pancakes. But my favorite dessert was chocolate croissant. I loved it so much; I could eat it for any meal. My favorite food in general was this Indian dish called Butter Masala Dosa. It tastes amazing.
         I finished breakfast and mom began eating breakfast. I went on the computer and began search for Go-Karting places near us. We decided on going to Joe’s Karting. When we got there there weren’t many people there. The only people there were Mom and me and a young couple in their mid twenties. I looked at them and it made me think of Sarah. This made me feel sad. I wished I could just be with her. But I masked my emotions so that Mom wouldn’t see that I’m sad. This was also the first time that I hadn’t told mom how I was feeling and that I liked a girl. Well, I haven’t really had a crush on a girl since Mia. And I wasn’t even that attracted to her. However, I was stupid enough to jump in front of her to stop a cupcake. Ah, I’m so dumb. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Snap out of it. C’mon you’re at a Go-Karting track, have some fun. I woke up out of my day dreaming to find myself listening to the racing instructions. I somehow moved automatically from the entrance to the waiting area.
         I could see the track from where I was. It was very winding. The guy explaining the instructions said that it was 275 feet and that we would do twelve laps.
         I got in a go-kart and went to the starting line. The first lap was scary. I was going 45 miles per hour. I could barely control the go-kart. I slowed down and began to get the hang of it on the second and third laps. On the fourth lap I began accelerating a little faster. On the fifth and sixth laps, I continued to accelerate. By the seventh lap I was able to control the car at its highest speed. It was so exciting. I was full of adrenaline. When we finished the race mom and I went to the Cold Stone across the street and got some ice cream. I got the pumpkin cream flavored ice cream with graham cracker crumbs on top and mom got plain cotton candy ice cream. It was so fun. When we got home it was four so we decided to reset a little bit and then we would go out to get dinner.
         I went to the computer and went on Facebook. I received a friend request from “Sarah Martin”. I accepted. Maybe she did want to be my friend. I went on YouTube and began watching videos. I watched for about an hour and then mom and I went to panda express and got food. We got some chow mein, orange chicken with bacon, and teriyaki chicken.
This is how I spent my summer. Mom and me did different things every week. We went biking, bowling, go-karting, went to the movies. Whatever we felt like doing we did. This was the best summer I ever had. And surprisingly, I only spent a total of 38 hours in the library over the course of sixty days.

What bugged me most about the summer was that I only saw Sarah that one time when we met. Even though we became Facebook friends, we never talked. I guess she was just trying to be nice to me. Why did I like. Why did I feel the need to think about her?
This first day of school came by very quick. I had to get up early. During the break I usually got up at ten o’clock. Today I woke up at six-thirty. I was tired. I was so used to going to sleep late and waking up late. I needed to change that habit if I was going to be able to get through school. I am a person who values sleep. Ten hours of sleep is the minimum amount of sleep I need to function without fatigue.
Anyways, when I got to school I didn’t see Sarah or her friends so I was scared. I didn’t know anyone else. I went to the office to get my schedule and check my classes. When I got my classes I looked at my first period and went there. It was Math Analysis Honors, which is basically a class that is a hybrid between Trigonometry, Precalculus, and Calculus A. It was in room 210. I walked up the stairs to room 210 and took a seat at one of the desks. I looked at the clock in the back of the room. It was seven-forty. I decided I would look at my schedule.

First period: Math Analysis Honors; room 210; teacher: Mr. Teague.
Second Period: 9th Honors English; room 112; teacher: Mrs. Luda-Chris.
Third Period: P.E.; Gym; teacher: Ms. Ed
Fourth Period: Home Economics; room 313; teacher: Mrs. Browne.
Fifth Period: World History; room 101; Mr. Bryans.
Sixth Period: A.P. Physics; room 602; Mr. Copper.

I examined my schedule for a little bit longer. I looked back up at the clock and it was five minutes till school starts. My teacher, Mr. Teague, had the school bell schedule written on the whiteboard next to his name.

Period 1: 8:00-8:50
Period 2: 9:00-9:50
Rest: 10:00-10:10
Period 3: 10:20-11:10
Period 4: 11:20- 12:10
Lunch: 12:20-12:40
Period 5: 12:50-1:40
Period 6: 1:50-2:40

His room was very cubicle. The desks were arranged in rows. Six rows by five columns. I hadn’t noticed but people had shuffled into the room and all but ten seats were filled. The bell rang and Mr. Teague walked from his desk at the back of the room to the front of the room. He began to talk about what we would be doing in his class this year and things of that sort. I began looking around the room. I saw that everyone was so big. Really big.
We ended playing a game called “The Name Game.” The rules were simple; the person speaking says their name, grade, and favorite subject. Then the next person says their information and the information of the person before them. I was the third person to go. Everyone else were sophomores and juniors and seniors.  They were surprised to see that I was a freshman. The people in my class were nice to me though. None of them were mean. The period ended and I continued to my next class. We basically did the same thing in English.
Then the rest period came. I didn’t know where to go. I still hadn’t seen Sarah or friends yet. But, now that I think about it this isn’t much different than how I used to be at my old school. Yet I felt different, I wanted to hang out with them and talk to them.
I just decided to walk around the school. With my head down staring at the floor, I meandered through the hallways of the high school. I accidentally bumped into someone while I was walking. I turned around and it was this guy wearing glasses. He was smaller than most of the other students.

“Sorry.” We said simultaneously.
“Hi I’m Adam.” I said
“Hi my name is Alex.” He said.
“I’m so sorry for bumping into you.” I apologized.
“Oh, don’t worry it was my fault.” he replied.
“I’m new here.” I said.
“Oh. Well I’m not and I don’t have many friends. You probably don’t want to be friend either so I’ll just get out of your way,” he said.
“What? Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? I don’t have any friends either. Well, I thought I had friends, but I haven’t seen them or talked to them since the first day I was in Omaha.” I replied.
“You wanna to be my friend? My friend?” he questioned.
“Yeah, of course.” I said.
“Thanks. So, what were the names of the people you said you thought were your friends?” Alex asked.
“Sarah Martin, Susan Tanner, Brian and Thomas Davis.” I said.
“What? You were friends with them? How? You know that they’re the most popular people in our grade and possibly even the school, right? The fact that you know them is incredible.”
“Oh, that’s probably why they haven’t spoken to me since I first met them.” I said.

         The bell rang and it was time for class again. It turns out that Alex and I had P.E. together. We entered the gym and Ms. Ed was already waiting for the students. She told everyone to go to the locker rooms and change into our P.E. clothes.
When I got out, Ms. Ed said that we would be playing dodge ball today since it was the first day of school.
I was good at dodge ball. I was always good at throwing. Though I wasn’t very athletic the one thing pertaining to athletics that I was good at was throwing. We had a class of twenty-two people.
We played two games of dodge ball, both games in which my team won. I was the last one to survive both games. The first game it was me versus five other people at the end of the game. I got all five of them out on my first throws at them. The second game. It was two versus one at the end. I was confident that I would be able to get them out so I let them try to throw the balls at me, but they missed. Then I got two balls and got each of them out. I felt great after P.E.
After I got dressed I made my way out of the locker rooms and to my home economics class. My teacher, Mrs. Browne, said that we would be cooking many things but mainly we would be focusing on baking. She also said that since this class would is very expensive, and that the school board doesn’t give much funding for this class, the class would have to do fundraising and also ask for donations. Depending on the amount of money that the class accumulates, we would be cooking chicken, pork, and fish dishes. Baking wise we will bake cookies, cakes, cupcakes, brownies, and pies. If we have a surplus amount of money we may be able to have a Thanksgiving feast.
So far, all my classes are fun. I think this year is going to be fun. I have an actual friend; I’m somewhat popular in most of my classes.
Because we didn’t have much time left during home economics to cook anything, our teacher just let us watch part of the movie Remember the Titans. Lunch came around and Alex and me got lunch from the cafeteria. The cafeteria lunch was pretty good. We both got macaroni and cheese, a bread roll and cheese sticks. I got chocolate milk as my drink and Alex got orange juice. The cafeteria was really big. I guess it had to be big in order to hold two thousand people. As we walked along the aisles of the cafeteria we were able to point out all of the clicks of the school. The stoners were on the outer tables of the cafeteria. The smart people sat in the layer of tables within the stoners. The regular kids, the ones who went unnoticed, sat in between the nerds and the cool people. The cool people were in the center of the cafeteria. I saw Sarah, Thomas, Brian, and Susan there. They were with some upperclassmen. It occurred to me that the stoners were on the outside because they were the outcasts. The smart people next because they weren’t the most social of people but they were more accepted than the stoners. The normal students were next because they were in the middle of everything. They didn’t make an impact in anyway. They sorta just watched everything. They were placeholders in between the nerds and the cool people. The popular kids were in the middle because they were the center of attention. The structure of the seating arrangement was like a polar grid; the popular kids were the origin.
I began walking towards the center to get to Sarah. But, Alex started to tell me that we shouldn’t go there because we would get made fun of by the cool kids. But I told him that I was friends with them. I continued to walk and because Alex was my friend now, he came with me. I went up to the middle table and said hi to Sarah.

“Hey Sarah.” I said.
“Hi?” she said.
“Who’s that guy?” Brian said.
“It’s me Adam. Remember we went to the movies together.” I replied.
“Huh, you wish loser. Go back to where you came from, this is the popular table, OK,” he said.
“You guys don’t remember, you gave me a ride back to my house.” I said.

         An upperclassmen got up and pushed me away and they all started to laugh, except Thomas and Sarah. I could tell by the look on her face, she sincerely forgot but now remembers. I could tell by the look in her eyes, she was sorry about what happened. Thomas was looking down at his food.
         As Alex and me walked to where to smart kids sit, Alex asked me,

“What happened? I thought you said you knew them? They obviously didn’t recognize you.” Alex said.
“I don’t know. I thought they liked me. They were nice to me when we went to the movies. Maybe they just don’t remember. The summer was long and we were all busy maybe they just forgot today. We can try again tomorrow.” I replied.
“I don’t know about that, they seemed pretty sure they didn’t know you. Are you sure that you just didn’t dream about going to the movies with them?” he asked.
“No I remember it like it was yesterday” I replied.

         We finished our lunch and made our way to our fifth periods. I had History. Mr. Jennings told us to begin reading the first chapter of the book. During the entire reading I felt horrible. I thought I was friends with them, but the embarrassed me in front of all the other popular kids. Alex was right. I shouldn’t have gone over there. By the time I finished chapter one, I had forgot what I read. I was so fixated on that moment. The period ended and I continued to my sixth period, science. I took a seat and began to stare at the white board. I began daydreaming, I can’t remember what I was thinking about but then someone said

“Is this seat taken?”
“No, it’s not.” I said.

         I turned and saw that it was Sarah. She wasn’t accompanied by any of her friends. I was surprised that she wanted to sit next to me. There were only fifteen students in the class and ten empty desks.

“Why would you want to sit next to me?” I asked.
“I’m sorry about what happened in the cafeteria. I couldn’t do anything, I wanted to but they already began to push you around before I could do anything. I’m sorry. Can we still be friends?” she said.
“Ok, I forgive you. We can still be friends.” I said.

         Class began and we were given a project. Sarah and me were going to work on the project together. We began working on the project in class. Sarah was smart. Our project was to create a tesla coil. Then class ended.

“Hey if you want we could continue working at my house.” Sarah said.
“Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” I replied.
“Come with me.” She said.
“OK.” I said.



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HudaZav SILVER said...
on May. 21 2015 at 5:30 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 390 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

I am loving this book so far! The plot, your writing style, the vivid characters.. keep it up! :) PS Could you possibly check out my book "The Art of Letting Go"? I'd appreciate it!