Falling Sky | Teen Ink

Falling Sky

April 30, 2013
By amg73093 GOLD, Cincinnati, Ohio
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amg73093 GOLD, Cincinnati, Ohio
18 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today."


Author's note: This is my first short novel I have ever written, and I am proud of my final draft. I am a second year, soon to be third, at the University of Cincinnati and an aspiring writer. I have high hopes that I will reach a status worth being proud of. This is my first of many works to come. Thank you. Signed, Anna G

My head rested motionless against the back of my desk chair, staring up at my oblong ceiling. I felt the hot bitter tears trickle down my unshaved face and cheeks, soaking my neck and collar. The word dumbass echoed through my lifeless shell, I felt broken, separated from my intoxicated body. My body numb and light from the many “this-is-good-for-you” shots that my concerned roommate Jasper insisted I take, after noticing I hadn’t said a word to anyone during the service. Has the paper-thin reality I’ve been grasping onto been a lie?
For a few blissful hours I played drunken video games, beer pong, and baked out with Jasper and Wyatt. It felt fresher then the first time we moved in and hung out in the front room together, which is where I left them after passing out mid pizza. Now I’m here spinning in my chair, making entertainment out of nothing, in a state I would never want to be seen—pathetic. The beatings of my heart lie so quiet that the compounds of my chest appear nonexistent; feeling nothing but the hums of music that try and enlighten me about real passion and relation.
I only hoped that the hands of the clocks face would freeze to never to break free of its icy bonds, or throw my emotions into a dusty box and lock them away until I was ready to face the reality of the situation, until I was ready to accept the idea that she was no longer. My leg bouncing up and down with stress, my mind venturing to the disturbing images of Allegra Esther; her blood soaked hair, and unvoiced words of comfort. I wish that we could experience these feelings together, but our worlds have separated into two, only together in memory.

“Hurry up, Kaeleb” said Allegra yelling back at me from up ahead.
“Yeah, yeah” I groaned, “no need to wait for me”.
“Oh come on, quit draggin’ your ass and pick up the pace, baby” she retorted back at me with a smirk.
That smile of hers shot bullets of flutters to my stomach, making it that much difficult to climb this damn hill. We’ve been walking for over twenty minutes through sticky grass up to my waist and spider webs that you can’t see until I run my face strait into them. She still has yet to inform me where this adventure ends and why we have to run there. Picking up the pace I eventually catch up to her.
Jabbing her side with my finger, “tell me again why I’m running?” continuing to run past her.
“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a surprise?”
Allegra’s voice became distant as my legs continued forward, trying not to stop in hopes to impress her. Not a moment passed before the toe of my sneaker came victim to the grass beneath me; sending me, and my self-esteem, sprawling into the dirt. I kept tumbling until my momentum ceased, now face down covered in dust.
“My gosh, baby. What happened to you?” she asked, not even trying to hold back her laughter.
“Oh, just enjoying the scenery” I mumbled into the earth, followed by her sweet giggles.
She dusted off my ass and jacket, pulling the individual pieces of nature off of me.
“Roll over”
“Mm…mmm”
“What? Kale, quit talking to the ground and roll over, ya goon.”
“I-mcant… I-mdead.”
“You’re dead? Yeah right! I’ll flip ya myself. If you aren’t a real goner, you are now” she teased.
She’s beyond adorable, there’s no way her petite frame could manage to move me. Instead, she grunted and moaned, pulling my hair and shirt, but I kept on pretending. After some meaningful effort she gave up and sat on my backside, sighing and pouting.
“You suck, are you aware of that? Complaining about the walk and heat, and now you say your dead” she grumbled and pauses, “can you even hear me? Is there dirt in your ears too?”
She smacked my ass again and all the amusement I had been holding back busted out. My ribcage bouncing her up and down with each lungful of laughter. I quickly put my arm around her, and pulled her into my chest as I flipped her while roaring like lion. She screamed, followed by more giggling, and mounted my waist with her smooth thighs and cowboy boots.
Damn, her beauty is illuminating; a waterfall of blonde curls down her shoulders and back, with smaller curls framing her face. The beads of sweat on her freckled nose dripped down to her plush lips. Her emerald eyes looked deep into mine, and for the few minutes spent bathing in the sun and her beauty, my heart wouldn’t cease throbbing. I can’t take it anymore; I wanted her lips against mine.
Leaning up towards her with my upper half, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. I rest my head against her supple breasts and I listen the music of her pounding heart. Her small arms hugged me back, leaving satin kisses on my cheek and neck.
“Kale, my love” speaking softly into my ear.
“Hmm?”
“Ready for your surprise?”
“This isn’t it?” I asked.
“Mmm, you being in my arms right now is a surprise in itself”, squeezing me with her thighs, “but no, there’s more. Much more” she said with anticipation in her voice that sent chills through my central nervous system, electric sparks on the surface of my skin.
“Oh? Well, show me the way Ms. Esther,” I teased, planting one last kiss on her mouth, my heart melting as if I had touched the sun.
Another ten minutes of walking hand-in-hand, we finally reach the end of our adventure, but I had the impression that it was just beginning. Allegra had brought me to this small lake that was surrounded in flowers and green grass. It was an unworldly oasis with a heavenly haze to it. Allegra smiled at me and quickly ran for the water, tossing off her boots and clothes in the process. She stood at the edge of the small dock, her naked image and angelic glow mirroring on the still water. Still stunned, I watch her as she dances by the water utterly exposed, with a body that exceeds the beauty of this land.
She turned my direction, mouthed the words I love you, shyly waved, and without any more hesitation leaped into water. I followed suit, except my stripping was far more ungraceful than Allegra. Tripping in attempt in my attempt to shred off my worn clothes while running to her, diving into the water. The water is cool enough to help lower the temperature of my skin that I began to crave Allegra’s warm body against mine. That’s when I realized she wasn’t anywhere in sight.
Frantically spinning around in the water, in hopes to see any sign of Allegra. She must be teasing me, but where? All I can hear is my heavy wading in the water, wind blowing between the trees, and saccades rattling from all around. But she still remains out of sight, her joke slowly getting less funny as time continued on without seeing her face.
“Baby?” I asked out loud, but still nothing.
Panic began to settle in as I realized that I never saw her come up from her first jump in. I dove under the water, unable to see a thing deep in the dark lake. When I couldn’t breathe anymore I rushed back up gasping for air, catching my breath.
Calling out again, “Allegra, sweetheart? This stopped being funny a couple minutes ago, time to come out now. Jokes over…”
Still nothing.
Fear began to take complete control of my body, as I frantically began diving and reemerging over and over again. Each time finding nothing at all, what happened? How did I miss it? Taking one last deep breath, I dove down deep closer to the dock where she jumped off. I propelled myself to the bottom, and began feeling around the surface. Before running out of oxygen I found her hand, and with every ounce of my strength I pulled her up to the surface with me. Breaching the surface, struggling to breathe as I attempted to hold her above water.
“It’s… okay… almost… there” I panted trying to reassure her.
Finally making it to the shore, pulling her up onto the grass, her traditionally sun kissed skin now tinted blue.
“WAKE UP!” I screamed as I began preforming any form of CPR I could mildly remember.
Breathing air into her lungs, one-two, one-two.
Again, one-two, one-two.
“Don’t you f*in’ give up on me, you hear me? Don’t you f*in’ do it”.
One-two, please come back. I lay my head onto her chest and the musical rhythm that normally pumped strong, remained muted. Her lifeless body, rubber in my arms as I pulled her in close and began weeping. Clutching her tightly, rocking back and forth, refusing to let the pressure go, hoping that if I can hold on tight enough she won’t leave me. My final moments with her spent whispering words of affection into her ear, and leaving one last dishonest kiss on her flawless mouth—with lies to console my dwindling soul.

As the rain makes its way through the trees and off the roof, the sirens in the distance mask my thoughts. The nausea of my broken heart, the constant haunting images of her face, and the “not-a-good-idea-anymore” shots got the best of me. I stood no chance and sped to the bathroom. The icy porcelain lid soothed my flushed face; at this point I was content with anything making me feel better then how I felt now.
Quietly thinking out loud to the toilet,
“Pathetic ain’t it?”
Pausing as if it was the toilet’s turn to speak, nothing but the whisper of water refilling its shell.
“F*** you. About all you know is how to take s*** from any piece of ass that walks in this door”
Now noticing my lips draping over the rim of the seat, “more ass than a brothel, ha”.
As if the universe was responding to the drunken verbal berating I served, my stomach flips, and then the last of my drinks from the night flush away.
“Well, thanks” I muttered under my breath while stumbling off the bathroom floor to my bedroom, kicking off my jeans, eager to dream and fully escape reality.
The intense morning sun obnoxiously visible through my eyelids, time-pressed drivers honking outside my window, and the nonstop humming of the air conditioning wake me. My body ached and the sheets itched my skin as I tossed over and shoved a pillow over the back of my head, shielding my eyes from the morning sun. I lay here for a few minutes trying to block out the world, and hoping I would slip back into a dream.

Despite the overwhelming noises within my head my voice remains muted, in hesitation I got out of bed, stumbling a little bit in the process. I had to stand with my eyes shut for a few seconds, I was dizzy, and the world was spinning, but my vision cleared and my head stopped throbbing.
Curious as to see if I looked as horrible as I felt, I studied myself in the mirror. Signs of a rough night clear across my face. Even after washing my face and brushing my teeth, it was as if my broken heart had aged me over night, and I realized it was useless to try to clean up. Not only did I feel like death but I also embodied the image of it.
Like a phantom, I quietly and swiftly materialized my way back to my room, to avoid letting Jasper hear I was awake. My dog Moose happened to be waiting patiently for me on the pillows, tail thumping against the mattress. I flopped into bed and rolled over so I was right up against him. Even if my heart still lies in shattered pieces on the bathroom and bedroom floor, I can’t help but love feel love for him.
I lay here, watching him sleep, fiddling with his collar and soft ears. The sound of his breathing began lulling me back to sleep. I closed my eyes and started counting each breath he took; I didn’t get past twenty before I was off into dreamless slumber.
A Week Later
After spending a week in bed, watching never-ending marathons on Netflix and smoking myself numb, I had found myself at the train station this morning. I think it might have been the constant unnatural positive attitude from Jasper, or Wyatt’s hippy-harping for me to get out of my room back into the outside world, that I just couldn’t enjoy being miserable anymore. Do the solitary nights I spend isolated from others thoughts help or hurt? They have purpose, but sometimes I lose track of what that purpose really is.
Trains are the easiest and cheapest way to get as far away, as fast I can, from this college town. Music bumping through my ear buds drowning the other passengers’ small talk, I watch out the window at the world speeding by feeling a small sense of relief already.
About ten song titles later I got off at a familiar stop, if my memory hasn’t failed me, there should be a field within walking distance that she brought me that terrible day. Deep within my music and self, I let my feet carry me through the heat until I reached a standstill in the middle of the same open field.
The summer sun was strong, making my skin perspire continuously down the back of my neck, while dirt built up in the seams on the jean pockets from where I was sitting. The cigarette I puffed burned the back of my throat, but despite that I kept finding myself still going back for another drag; searching for something from each puff of smoke. I’m not entirely sure what exactly I’m searching for, maybe a sense of clarity and peace in my gut, or maybe for my head to reach a calming stand still like the reflective lake in front of me.
I want to hear the wind go through one ear and out the other, nothing but nature and air thriving around my still body and toxic smoke. I take one last drag, hold it in deep, it’s hot and tickles, and I close my eyes. Once my head started feeling disconnected from my body from the lack of oxygen, I let go with a big gasp, and felt the oxygen rush back instantly through my veins, and my heart pounding under my sweaty exterior.
I reached into the front pocket of my pants for the metal cigarette container I put in there; inside it a small abused pack of lighters and two joints.

There just seems to be something so heavenly about this place that when I lay back on the thick grass, stoned, staring that the sky, a sense of clarity subsides the storm building inside me. Some may call it a false happiness, or find my method of unwinding unorthodox, but all I know is that it’s my way of finding excitement and wonder in my current dreary perception. I could say that I’m not entirely well rounded, followed by the truth; drugs have played their role well and through sheer honesty there must be no denial of that fact. But I don’t need influences to understand how to accept the gravity Allegra has me under.

I watched clouds fly by with the wind, one by one off into the horizon when I noticed a large shimmering in the sky. Was it the reflection of the sun on a plane, or was it just the pot? -- No, there was definitely something there, and it was getting closer.

I watched as this shimmer of white light started to fall, strait from the sky, and it was falling fast. Any possibility ran through my head: falling star, meteor, or satellite. The small light, quickly growing larger, seemed to be coming right at me, and before I could react it crash-landed into the lake in front of me.

Crash! A muffled ping engulfed my eardrums, and the curtains closed on the screenplay of my life, shut down into dark silence.

As the rain makes its way through the trees and off the roof, the sirens in the distance mask my thoughts. The nausea of my broken heart, the constant haunting images of her face, and the “not-a-good-idea-anymore” shots got the best of me. I stood no chance and sped to the bathroom. The icy porcelain lid soothed my flushed face; at this point I was content with anything making me feel better then how I felt now.
Quietly thinking out loud to the toilet,
“Pathetic ain’t it?”
Pausing as if it was the toilet’s turn to speak, nothing but the whisper of water refilling its shell.
“F*** you. About all you know is how to take s*** from any piece of ass that walks in this door”
Now noticing my lips draping over the rim of the seat, “more ass than a brothel, ha”.
As if the universe was responding to the drunken verbal berating I served, my stomach flips, and then the last of my drinks from the night flush away.
“Well, thanks” I muttered under my breath while stumbling off the bathroom floor to my bedroom, kicking off my jeans, eager to dream and fully escape reality.
The intense morning sun obnoxiously visible through my eyelids, time-pressed drivers honking outside my window, and the nonstop humming of the air conditioning wake me. My body ached and the sheets itched my skin as I tossed over and shoved a pillow over the back of my head, shielding my eyes from the morning sun. I lay here for a few minutes trying to block out the world, and hoping I would slip back into a dream.

Despite the overwhelming noises within my head my voice remains muted, in hesitation I got out of bed, stumbling a little bit in the process. I had to stand with my eyes shut for a few seconds, I was dizzy, and the world was spinning, but my vision cleared and my head stopped throbbing.
Curious as to see if I looked as horrible as I felt, I studied myself in the mirror. Signs of a rough night clear across my face. Even after washing my face and brushing my teeth, it was as if my broken heart had aged me over night, and I realized it was useless to try to clean up. Not only did I feel like death but I also embodied the image of it.
Like a phantom, I quietly and swiftly materialized my way back to my room, to avoid letting Jasper hear I was awake. My dog Moose happened to be waiting patiently for me on the pillows, tail thumping against the mattress. I flopped into bed and rolled over so I was right up against him. Even if my heart still lies in shattered pieces on the bathroom and bedroom floor, I can’t help but love feel love for him.
I lay here, watching him sleep, fiddling with his collar and soft ears. The sound of his breathing began lulling me back to sleep. I closed my eyes and started counting each breath he took; I didn’t get past twenty before I was off into dreamless slumber.
A Week Later
After spending a week in bed, watching never-ending marathons on Netflix and smoking myself numb, I had found myself at the train station this morning. I think it might have been the constant unnatural positive attitude from Jasper, or Wyatt’s hippy-harping for me to get out of my room back into the outside world, that I just couldn’t enjoy being miserable anymore. Do the solitary nights I spend isolated from others thoughts help or hurt? They have purpose, but sometimes I lose track of what that purpose really is.
Trains are the easiest and cheapest way to get as far away, as fast I can, from this college town. Music bumping through my ear buds drowning the other passengers’ small talk, I watch out the window at the world speeding by feeling a small sense of relief already.
About ten song titles later I got off at a familiar stop, if my memory hasn’t failed me, there should be a field within walking distance that she brought me that terrible day. Deep within my music and self, I let my feet carry me through the heat until I reached a standstill in the middle of the same open field.
The summer sun was strong, making my skin perspire continuously down the back of my neck, while dirt built up in the seams on the jean pockets from where I was sitting. The cigarette I puffed burned the back of my throat, but despite that I kept finding myself still going back for another drag; searching for something from each puff of smoke. I’m not entirely sure what exactly I’m searching for, maybe a sense of clarity and peace in my gut, or maybe for my head to reach a calming stand still like the reflective lake in front of me.
I want to hear the wind go through one ear and out the other, nothing but nature and air thriving around my still body and toxic smoke. I take one last drag, hold it in deep, it’s hot and tickles, and I close my eyes. Once my head started feeling disconnected from my body from the lack of oxygen, I let go with a big gasp, and felt the oxygen rush back instantly through my veins, and my heart pounding under my sweaty exterior.
I reached into the front pocket of my pants for the metal cigarette container I put in there; inside it a small abused pack of lighters and two joints.

There just seems to be something so heavenly about this place that when I lay back on the thick grass, stoned, staring that the sky, a sense of clarity subsides the storm building inside me. Some may call it a false happiness, or find my method of unwinding unorthodox, but all I know is that it’s my way of finding excitement and wonder in my current dreary perception. I could say that I’m not entirely well rounded, followed by the truth; drugs have played their role well and through sheer honesty there must be no denial of that fact. But I don’t need influences to understand how to accept the gravity Allegra has me under.

I watched clouds fly by with the wind, one by one off into the horizon when I noticed a large shimmering in the sky. Was it the reflection of the sun on a plane, or was it just the pot? -- No, there was definitely something there, and it was getting closer.

I watched as this shimmer of white light started to fall, strait from the sky, and it was falling fast. Any possibility ran through my head: falling star, meteor, or satellite. The small light, quickly growing larger, seemed to be coming right at me, and before I could react it crash-landed into the lake in front of me.

Crash! A muffled ping engulfed my eardrums, and the curtains closed on the screenplay of my life, shut down into dark silence.

“Kale…” said a voice from in the distance.
Who is that voice? I should know who it is, but I can’t think.
The curtain was no longer drawn, and my vision lifted as it rose up. I was in a square room painted all in sheer white, no windows and no doors; I was sitting in a white metal chair, with my same clothes on but even that had lost all pigment. My lower half seemed to be glued to the chair and feet to the floor, pinching myself to see if I had fallen asleep --- ouch ---- nothing. I burry my face in my knees and clutch my legs with my arms.
What happened? Where am I?
With no idea how to comprehend what’s going on, and since I’m stuck in this chair, I gave in and lifted my head from my lap. I noticed every surface of the room turned into a nightmare of home movies of the past few weeks, flashing at an alarming rate.
My life is in rewind. Clips of Allegra glazed in blue, her lying in my arms, a beat-up ragdoll, and head hanging away from me towards the ground.
Farther back a year: a candle lit dinner table at the same Italian restaurant I took Allegra for three-year anniversary. I see her walking back to the table, smiling back at me from across the room wearing the same red dress she wore that night. Watching the confidence and beauty radiate off her brought me back to how I was feeling that day, how f*ing lucky and so in love I felt.
More clips flashed in reverse all around me, and with my whole being I kept wishing I’d wake up and have this all just be a delusion. Unbearable, just unbearable; what kind of world is this? Giving up, I threw my hands over my ears and reburied my face into the safety of my lap.
I open my eyes, and the room I had been in was no longer, now a seaside paradise. All alone and dressed in white, I’m walking down the shore of an empty beach where the warm salty air hit my nose and sand grinding between my toes. I see a girl up ahead of me, face down on her towel, with body oils defining her tan shoulders where two white wings are tattooed. She has long blonde curls, and a sun hat that masked her face from my view. My feet a thousand pounds, forcing only one slow step at a time; when all I want to do it run to her.
I tried yelling out to the girl, but only silence escaped my lips. My feet still moving in slow motion, I extended my hands out in front of my vision, imagining my fingertips could reach her if my voice could not.
At last, my feet stopped at the base of her towel where the tattooed wings glowed a bright white from the large shadow I casted over her petite body. In turn became a blur of tears began gushing down my face.
Just keep breathing. You’re going to wake up any minute now. This can’t be real. There’s a rational explanation to this. There has to be. I just have to keep breathing.
“Kale, baby, open your eyes now”, said the same voice I heard before.
That voice…
My eyes shot open, and there I was lying on my bed, staring at the same vast ceiling, no longer in a white room or on the beach. Looking under the blankets I saw I was now in my pajama pants, and they weren’t white, and without effort I started laughing. And man did it feel good to laugh; I was actually ---
“What’s so funny?” interrupted the voice of my dreams.
I whipped my head to the direction of the voice, and without any warning, I end up nose-to-nose with two emerald eyes.
“Holy s***!” I screamed while flying off the bed back first, and landing with a loud crashing sound with my feet still half up on the mattress.
“It’s like you’ve seen a ghost or something,” she said, giggling.
Peaking through my shaggy hair and over the top of my mattress with just my eyes. I saw two naked legs bouncing up and down, making a thumping noise every time the tops of her feet hit the comforter.
“Y-y-you…Y-you’re,” I stammered.
“M-m-m… me” she said.
Still giggling, she watched the expression in my eyes as I looked her over. Continuing up the mattress I noticed that a familiar black shirt draped over her tiny figure, just barely covering half her butt, exposing a familiar cotton panty.
“What are you doing down there? You look so funny eyeing me like that,” she said busting with laughter, “I know you haven’t seen me in a while, but you don’t have to peep at me from behind the bed, babe.”
Her humor helped calm me down, and brought me to a stop shaking.
“I… Allegra? Is that really you?” I asked.
It had to be; that voice, the long blonde curls, those eyes, that smile, and that bubbly laugh.
She shook her head up and down and just kept smiling at me, feet still thumping the top of the bed, “the one and only”.
“Does that mean, that I’m?”.
“You’re Kaeleb Ambrose, and I’m Allegra Esther. No tricks, and you aren’t dreaming. I promise baby,” she said while reaching her pinky finger out to me, waiting for me to do the same.
I looked at her finger, eyes wide and afraid to move from where I was standing.
“No, does that mean that I’m… dead?”
Her face grew serious and her lips began to pout, and slowly she put her hand back down. Looking down at her hands, fiddling with her nails. That’s when I noticed for the first time a gold ring was floating above her head. Stepping forward onto the bed, I flicked it with my finger, making a sound that could only be described as the tapping of glass when making a toast.
“Is that? A HALO ABOVE YOUR HEAD?” I said, almost falling off the bed again.
Allegra sat herself up, putting her legs underneath her to sit and face me, watching as I struggle with putting the pieces together. Staring blankly at her reflection in the window, cheeks turning red and eyes glassy with tears, but not a single tear passed through her blonde lashes.
“I knew it, I knew it. What the f***, what the flying f*ing happened? Wait… was it that s*** that fell from the sk----” Allegra put her index finger on my lips to keep my mouth to continue running on.
We both sat here facing each other in silence on my bed for a few moments, neither one of us moving her finger from my mouth, nothing but the sound of our staggered breathing, and my sniffling from holding back tears. Once she saw that I was going to sit quietly, she sighed deeply, and put her hand down. Before she could start to speak, I put my hands on her shoulders, looked deep into her bright green iris and the features of her face. I stared into her soul, only thinking that this moment and all that I saw in her must be remembered.
A huge smile spread across my face, and the tears I’m holding back broke the border of my eyelids. I pulled her into my chest, and held onto her without any thought of letting her go for a second time. Gently placing my hand under her soft chin, I lift her face towards mine, where my lips finally met hers. The tears and held back emotions broke through in one swift fluid motion with a kiss.
Without breaking contact we both fall back down on the bed, and just lay with our faces only inches apart; a look of amazement behind her artistically colored eyes when she situates them upon my face. Our lips in communication with one another in pleasurable syncopation; we were creating our own melody, for us to share with no one but ourselves. An enchanting rhythm, our hands dancing on our bodies to the soundless music, and my fingers relearning every step as they travel the world of her body. Her supple and truthful lips pressing against mine, and her firm abdomen fragile to the grace of my breath.
We touch, we learn, and create a temporary world for just us. Trading whispers of affection and giggles, my fingers delicately tracing the outline of her mouth, our legs and toes dancing with one another.
“Kale?” whispered Allegra
“Hmm?” I said, while kissing her on the nose.
“This place that we are in…”
“You mean my room?”
“Well, it’s not exactly your room, baby. You see this is a place where we can meet anew, where we can say hello all over again. Where the hands of the clock don’t move, a timeless world where nothing holds you back. A place to lay with me and cover our scars.”
“So, this is heaven then?” I said while I looked around, “My bedroom? How homey”.
Allegra giggled and ran her hands through my shaggy hair, pushing it back to get a good look at me.
“No silly, this is just a place I built for you. I figured you would feel more comfortable in a familiar place, but heaven can be anything I create it to be.”
“You sure have a good memory, looks exactly like my real room,” I said while pulling her in closer to me and kissing her forehead, her sweet smelling hair tickling my nose.
“There are just some things in this world I will never forget when I was alive.”
“What else do you remember?”
“I always loved the feeling of the cold winter air touch my lips and the ice cold water droplets softly falling from the dark sky onto my body. Oh and the taste of chocolate, melting ever so slowly and sweetly upon my tongue,” she searched for my hand under the blanket and brought it to her cheek closing her eyes, “Or your soft hands”.
Grasping my hand tighter with both of hers, she continued, “There are some things in this world I won’t miss. To be haunted by the screaming, haunted by the pain, but nothing more haunting then the feeling of never seeing you ever again.”
“I’m here now, I promise” putting my pinky finger between our faces, but she didn’t smile.
Instead she closed her eyes and vanished from my arms in the blink of an eye and materialized on the other end of the bed and began pacing, her halo jostling up and down with every step. She was hiding something, and wanted to say it.
“Well go ahead, spit out. What is it you have to tell me?” I said.
She stopped and looked up at me, that glassy look in her eye again. She froze with her backside to me, exposing her angel wings glowing through the dark fabric.
“Come here, tell me everything.”
Clenching the hem of her shirt, she turned around and came back into my arms.
“Heaven just isn’t heaven unless you are with me. I thought, that maybe, If only you could be” She trailed off, pausing momentarily lost in thought, “remember our last night together?”
I clenched my fist at the mention of that night, and my face serious.
Allegra continued, “When all hope faded, an angel still came for me,” she smiled and started chewing on the tip of her thumbnail, “All I could hear was the sound of my head cracking on something and my heart in my ears. As my eyes darkened, the pain slowly faded too, and all I could feel was your tears falling on my face and your arms that carried me out of the water. Can’t you see why heaven just isn’t heaven without you? You are my angel, my hero, and my love. I may rest without pain, but I’m resting without you!” cried Allegra, burying her face in the nook of my arm.
I rub her head and try to hold back these tears to be strong for her, “I’d do anything for you, you’ve always been my heaven on earth, and as that’s the f*ing truth”.
“See and I would do anything for you! And if I couldn’t be there for you in your world, I wanted to be there for you in this world. So I….” she shook her head as if it was stuck in her throat and couldn’t get it out, “… I brought you here”
“That’s for sure,” squeezing her briefly, “so that was you that fell from the sky?”
“Afraid so. The hole in my chest grew colder than normal one morning, and while wandering the endless roads in the clouds, I had found myself right above the park I took you to the day I drowned. You wouldn’t believe who I saw, it was you, baby. You were staring up right at me, and there was no way you had any idea I was there, but I couldn’t ignore the pressing love. I trusted you with not only my words, but my body too. There was nothing I wanted more then to reach down to you, so I jumped, and brought you back with me”.
She began trailing off into the micro details of how she managed to bring me here, while I closed my eyes and held onto her. I realized at that moment it didn’t really matter how she pulled this off, or the consequences of what was done. I’m lying here happily for the first time since her death, and truly smiling. I learned what love was, for all that she saw in me, and all that I was, was the end of it.
Angel high above, eyes soaked with the liquid salty love, jumping off the surrounding clouds with nothing but a dream. Falling through the atmosphere of opportunity, gracefully brushing the side of my cheek, and gently tugging at my heart. Don’t let up, this isn’t a dream, this may not stick but for now I shall enjoy the pleasures of the beauty across from me, and I hope she never fails to stay.



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