Unbearable Love

December 7, 2012
By mysterialane13, COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa
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mysterialane13, COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa
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Favorite Quote:
Run into the dark and let your mind run free.

Author's note: I hope that people will find that you shouldn't give up on love even if you don't believe it, because someday, you will find it.

His golden eyes glistened like the moon, his touch was passionate and sincere, but his presence was the purest of them all.

My heart yearned for him. Any waking moment we weren't talking or I wasn't with him, was like I wasn't pure without him. He gave me the world and nothing less. He made me feel like I was his princess. This is what all girls crave. They crave that attention from a guy. For them to treat you right, not be a cheater, and to treat you like royalty.

I never believed that love would feel this way. . . or even make its way to me. Everybody has that 'right person', but not everybody finds them, and if they do, they usually don't realize it or don't realize it soon enough. I thought maybe my 'right person' got hit by a bus, but then I realized. . . he was it.

His stare was bold, but his attention was approving. As he approached me, I was gossiping with a few of my friends. I was always so quick to notice when he was around me, so when I sensed him, mid sentence I quit talking and paid my attention to him.

"Did you see Brittany Jameson? She was holding hands with the new guy Jack Petersen. They're cute together, but personality wise I don't-" I turned toward him and all my friends looked at him as well. As we all looked at him, his face turned bright red.

"I uh. . . ," He began, very nervously. He was awkwardly looking at all of us and scratching his neck. "Can I talk to you. . . alone?" He asked, softly.

"Well, guess we'll see you later Alex." All of my friends said at the same time. I waved goodbye and turned my attention back to him.

"Yeah, what about?" I asked.

"Look, I know we don't know each other, but I want to use this opportunity of talking to you on asking you out on a date. We can go see a movie and then go out for dinner. Or something else, if you have any suggestions." The look in his eyes was fear. Fear that I would be some stuck up b**** and turn him down. He was absolutely gorgeous. How could you turn that down? When I opened my mouth to start talking, you could tell that on the inside, he was as people say 'on the edge of his seat'. When the words finally came, I answered him.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to." His gaze was breathtaking and sincere. He definitely knew how to take a girl's heart.

"Great. I'll pick you up at 7:30 tonight." As he started to walk away, I stopped him. Hesitating myself to ask him this.

"What's your number? You know, so I can text you my address..." I mumble loud enough for him to hear me. He turns around and scoffs.

"Nice pick up line," He began, winking at me. He was only kidding... right? "It's 731-555-0687" I could feel his breath on my hands as I was facing him, putting his number in my phone.

"Ok, thanks. I'll text you the address." I put my phone back in my pocket and walked away as if this was a dream. Did this really gorgeous guy just ask me on a date? I could've been dreaming, so I pinched myself to reassure it. I wasn't dreaming, this was in fact, reality.

When I texted him my address, as we had just met earlier today when he asked me out, I asked him for his name.

Nick Shaede. What's yours?

Alexandra Clark, but just call me Alex, please.

Maybe this was a new beginning to something real, or maybe this was just some sick joke to break a girl's heart. Only time could tell with love and it's new arrivals.

The sight of him left me breathless as he stood in my front door. The smell of his cologne was suffocating, but it smelled unbelievably sweet. His hand touched my lower back as he walked me outside and guided me to the car. I felt like one of those old movie stars, being escorted by a gorgeous guy and dressing nice just to go out for dinner and a movie. Being in his presence wasn't easy. . . especially because I had to try my hardest not to be a klutz or say something embarrassing. As he started the engine and drove away, I played out scenes in my head that wouldn't happen. I looked back at him and he smiled, reassuring that everything would go great. . . or at least that's what I had hoped for.

We pulled into the restaurant's parking lot and got a close spot to the door. They weren't very busy, assuming that it'd be quiet in there, and I wouldn't have to speak loudly for him to hear me. I breathed in the smell of warm, cooked food as we walked in the door and my stomach grumbled. As we were being seated and ordered our drinks, I noticed him staring at me.

"What?" I ask, curious.

"Nothing, you just look so. . . beautiful." He mumbled back.

I chuckled. "Thank you." I looked back down at my menu with a smile on my face.

The food smelled like garlic and cooked steak. I could almost taste it on the tip of my tongue. Nick's golden eyes sparkled in the light, making them almost irresistibly hard not to stare into.

"So, what are your interests?" He asked, looking in my eyes with the utmost sincerity.

"Mine? Oh, well, lets see. . . I like to draw, sing, dance, hang out with my friends and family, stuff like that. What about you?" I replied, with a smile on my face and resting my chin on my hands.

"I like to play guitar, hang out with my friends and family, I jump off things with my cousin. . ." He trailed off and I looked at him, puzzled.

"What do you mean 'jump off things with your cousin'?" I asked, confused.

"Meaning, we use a test dummy that's our weight and throw them off of things that we want to jump off of. For example, a garage or a bridge. Something like that." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why on earth would you find jumping off things exciting?!

"Oh. Well, that sounds. . ." I couldn't think of a word that came to mind to describe what I was thinking, or to explain my sarcasm, but something was also tugging away at me.

"Yeah," He mumbled, looking down. "Favorite color?"

This conversation went on for awhile. We were discussing our interests, what we liked to do, eat, etc. and in the meantime, we didn't even realize until we checked the time that we had missed the movie.

"Oh! We missed our movie. Would you like for me to just bring you home, then?" He asked, looking down at his watch then up at me.

"Yes, please. I'm exhausted. Eating just takes so much energy!" I winked at him. He smiled at me and led me back to the car and opened my door.

"Why, thank you kind sir." I sat down inside and breathed in the air. Savoring every moment of the evening. It was fun, enjoyable. . . special. It was hard to explain what had happened to me in such a short amount of time. Something had changed inside me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Waking up, the sun was shining brightly through my curtains and I could hear the chirping of the birds. I couldn't quit thinking about last night. . . what happened to me? Something just felt so different. . . so. . . strong, like it was tugging away at my soul. I thought, and thought, and thought and couldn't figure it out. Driving to school and pulling in the parking lot was when I figured it out. I was just pulling into a spot and that's when I saw Nick. I couldn't stop staring, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. . . I noticed my heart was skipping beats, but why?

Frustrated, I got out of the car and walked up to him. I was afraid to say something stupid, but I knew that was already going to happen. . . especially coming from me. I stood there for a second, thinking of what to say when the words finally came out of my mouth before I realized it. The damage had already been done.

"What did you do to me?!" I demanded, looking at my now shaking, nervous hands. He grabbed my wrists and looked me in the eyes, breathing heavily. "I didn't do anything. Just try to calm down. Take a deep breath and relax." He dropped my wrists, letting them fall back to my sides, but I didn't want to let him go. I took a deep breath as he said, and followed after him. "Nick." I mumbled. Why was I doing this? What was the point? Did I. . . fall for him? My eyes darted quickly, not sure if I should continue to talk or just simply walk away.

"What?" He said, turning around to stare me straight in the eye. I walked toward him, and took his hands in mine and looked in his eyes.

"Why is it, that ever since last night, I can't quit thinking of you?" My innocent look might've made him feel bad if he was a jerk, but thankfully, he felt the same.

"Why is it, that you're so damn beautiful?" I chuckled at his response and turned a bright red that only tomatoes were familiar of. I drew back and began to walk away, replaying what had just happened in my mind. His look was even more serious and more sincere than yesterday when he asked me out on a date. . . I could hear his heart racing just from a couple of inches away. It sounded like the engine of a race car, but why wasn't the car chasing after the finish line? I thought maybe this was all a mistake. Maybe just some misunderstanding and I was reading my emotions wrong, but I had never felt this strongly about someone. Even if I just met them yesterday.

Just, whatever I did, I couldn't shake the thought of him. He always remained there no matter what I did to preserve my mind to something. I was standing at my locker, grabbing my things for my next class, when I looked up and seen him. He was walking towards me with a bold look on his face, like he was unsure of something. I couldn't figure it out, but when he walked up to me, he gave me a slip with a red bow and my name on it and walked away.

Meet me at Freddie's at 4 this afternoon. I want to talk to you more.

I smiled to myself after I read the note, unsure if I should go or not. I had plans, and with last night when we went out for dinner, I wasn't sure how long we would end up talking again. I slowly slid the note in the very back of my reading book and continued heading for class.

I found myself doodling out his name, daydreaming, and writing little notes to him that I would never send. This is what every girl does when she's crushing on a guy, whether she likes to admit it or not. Sure, I'd been texting him and talking to him on the phone for hours, but I never expected to fall so hard for one person so unbelievably fast. I wanted to see him in person. . . I had to see him. I thought that maybe that would make me feel better or make that craving of him fade even the tiniest bit, but meeting him in person again, only made me want him so much more than I had before.

It wasn't the drive there that was so bad, it was what I would say when I showed up. I was hoping he would be the one to be the conversationalist this afternoon, instead of me. I was so nervous, but so excited and happy to be meeting him. I had other plans, things to do, I was thinking I'd just go and see him for at least a few minutes. Within those few minutes, I could listen to the calming sounds of his voice, and stare into those beautiful golden eyes of his. Before getting out of my car, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and relaxed. Nothing could wrong, right?

Walking into the restaurant, I noticed him immediately. He was sitting at a table for two, eyeing the door and when he saw me, he smiled. I walked towards him, smiling and happy to be in his presence. That's when I felt that tug at my soul again. . . My heart skipping beats and then I thought of the sound of his earlier. His heart was beating so fast when he was around me, it sounded like the engine of a race car. I could feel myself blush as I thought of that, and he gave me a weird look.

"You came," He said, happy to see me. "I'm glad. I would've been stood up by the prettiest girl I know." He winked at me and smiled.

"Yeah, well, what can I tell you? I just have that affect on some people." I said, winking back at him. He laughed at that thought.

"What are you blushing about?" He asked, as the waiter brought us our drinks.

"Nothing. . ." I mumbled, feeling myself blush more. He stared at me, puzzled.

"Something's going on. What is it?" I started to panic. Was he really trying to get me to talk about this right now? I just showed up and he already knew that I was starting to have feelings for him.

"Oh, you know. The usual, just crushing on this one guy." I tried my best to say that in the most nonchalant manner. I think he got it though, because after that, his smile just wouldn't fade away. As if he had just won first place in a competition he'd been trying to win for years.

"Oh? Who's the lucky guy?" His sarcastic tone gave off that he definitely knew. I looked at him and then back at my phone. I needed to leave soon. I'd only been here a few minutes, but I couldn't stay any longer. I had plans with some friends and my sister was wanting me to help her with homework before it got too late.

"Well, I'm not revealing details, but lets just say that he seems like the perfect guy for me," I began. I looked at the clock again. Time to go. . . even if I didn't want to. "Look, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I just wanted to come for a few minutes. I have plans to go with some friends for a bit and my sister wanted me to help her with some homework. I'm so sorry." I looked down and frowned, sad to be leaving him.

"No, it's fine. I understand." We both got up, and he walked me to my car, but before I got in, he grabbed me by the wrist.

"What are you doing?" I asked, stunned and confused.

"Something I've been wanting to do since I met you." He mumbled with a smile.

He pulled me into his strong, warm arms and gave me the most angelic, and passionate kiss I've ever had. I wanted to say that it felt like Heaven, but I still remained here on planet earth. When he pulled away, I looked into his eyes and smiled. I noticed I could feel a little spark traveling from my lips throughout my body. He smiled back at me and kissed my forehead, allowing me to finally leave. Still saddened to have to leave so early, I pulled out of the parking lot, and watched the figure of his body fade away as I went further and further down the road.

He had an accent that makes you want to melt, eyes you can stare into for hours, and a touch that you didn't want to go away. This was becoming something I had never experienced before, and I find myself being starstruck by it. I couldn't shake the feeling of this. . . the way that when I was around him, he made my heart skip beats and made me get butterflies in my stomach. This short time we had known each other, felt like a century, and I wanted it to be forever. I was mesmerized by his presence, and I constantly find myself staring at him even when I don't mean to. Just the way he did everything. . . it always caught my attention. He grew protective of me and fended off guys that would try hitting on me. . . even when he wasn't around when it happened.


He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes with a smile. "Ready?!" He asked. I looked down at the water. It felt like the water was miles away, but it was really only a matter of feet. I was going to use every ounce of strength I had in me to jump this with him. "Yeah." I mumbled, shaking my head. I was really going to do this. "Okay. On the count of three. One. . . two. . . three!. . ." I held onto his hand tightly, and we both jumped into the water together. Jumping into water that was feet below and was icy cold. I fell deep into the water, kicking and swaying my arms to get my head back above the surface. When I finally got to the surface, I gasped for a breath of air. "Nick?" I asked, looking around and not finding any sign of him. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my cheek.

"Still here, babe." He laughed. What the hell were we doing?

I turned around to face him, and stared into his eyes again. They were so beautiful, and he knew it. He grabbed my hands and kissed them, then kissed me softly on my lips. It was then when it hit me. I had fallen in love with someone I've only known for days, and I could already start to feel the beginning of forever. When I pulled away, he smiled. We swam back to shore and tried to dry off. He wrapped a towel around my shivering body, then pulled me into him and hugged me to keep me warm. The heat exhaling off his body was enough to warm me up again. I looked up at him with a smile and he kissed my forehead. When he pulled away, I got an urge of sadness, because I didn't want him to. I almost wanted to pull him back to me and hug him without letting go. Ever.

Once we got dried, he turned to me and stared into my eyes. "Alex, do you feel different? Like, ever since we met, I always catch myself staring at you. . . I can never stop thinking about you, and when we're near each other, my heart sounds like the engine of a race car. . ." My mouth dropped and my eyes narrowed. I walked towards him, and stared him in the eyes. "Honestly, Nick. I feel the same. I never stop thinking of you, I can never quit staring at those beautiful eyes of yours, my heart skips beats and you give me butterflies in my stomach, and I just love being with and around you all the time. . ." We both smiled and locked our hands together as we kissed again.

This is turning into something great and I loved every second of it. I cherished it and I never wanted it to go away. I was in love with Nick Shaede, who I'd only known for a few days. This wasn't a dream, it was all a reality.

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