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Only good at GoodByes.
It was the middle of September and I was just starting school again. The past month and half have been nothing but tears and pain. The first week into August my parents died in a plane crash. I know that sounds bizarre, but think about, with my luck and my brothers annoying attitude, we weren’t the happiest family. So when I told them I was moving in with my grandma in Arizona, they flipped! They hopped on a plane and were flying down to Arizona unannounced, almost made it but the pilot had a heart attack from the changes in air levels(you can say he was a newby), theres usually two of them but the second one had a family energency and skipped ‘take off.’ Right then and there, I would of said “F this, Im out.” But my parents are stubborn and wanted to chew out my grandma for letting me move in. I guess you can say its my fault they died, I was the reason they got on the plane and the reason they were flying down to arizona. But them ending up in the Gulf of Mexico, that wasn’t my fault, I still blame myself for everything though.
After the funeral, I moved into my grandmas house and got ready for school. By the time August 17th came along, I couldn’t face people asking why I was new and all that other stuff that comes along with being the new kid. My brother on the other hand, well he doesn’t live with me anymore. He moved in with my gay uncle that lived down the street so he didn’t have to leave his school, all his friends and basically so he didn’t have to start all over, like I am about to. My grandma is only 58, she had my mom young just like my mom had me, But I am not ready to keep that family tradition going.
My alarm clock goes off and I grab the towel off my desk and make my way to the bathroom rubbing my eyes. I smelled blue berry muffins and opened my eyes as I walked through the kitchen. My grandma stood by the stove waiting for the buzzer to go off. Then she’d be off to the gym to work out and then to work. The water was cold in the shower but it woke me up pretty fast, I did my hair and make-up, got dressed, ate breakfast, then grabbed my backpack and keys off the table.
“Bye Sweetie! Have a good day!” I smiled and the door slammed behind me as I climbed into the car and zoomed down the interstate. I pulled onto Old Oak Street and into the school parking lot. My parking spot was all the way in the back because I registered late. It was only 7:45 in the morning and I was up and out of the house. That’s something nobody has seen for five and half months. It was sunny so I had my sun glasses on as I walked passed a group of people standing by there cars staring at me. I turned to them and smiled then kept walking, I remembered I didn’t lock the car so I used my key lock and pressed it and my car honked as I crossed the bus lot. Walking through the hall to the office wasn’t any better, everyone stared and watched me walk away. I mean come on, have they never seen a new kid, like damn. Maybe it was the way I dressed that shocked them. I had skinny jeans with holes going down both legs and my spiked black combat boots on with a grey tshirt and my leather jacket. My hair was long and straight and my make-up well all I had one was mascara. I don’t see the big deal here.
The office was packed with kids asking questions about homecoming and sport events and basically a bunch of pointless things. I stood in line till the principle came out and noticed me looking at my phone. He pulled me into his office and handed me everything id need for this fab year. I was only a Junior, almost done, but it felt different, I felt like a freshman again, starting over, making new friends, new teachers, a whole new kind of world here in Arizona.
Class number one turned out to be interesting which was surprising because I hated math. I was in Trig, apparently when I took all my placement classes for this school my highest subject was math. They were gonna put me in Calc but my grandma wouldn’t approve, id have to much free time to screw around my senior year. I was in three freshman classes, including freshman gym, which most likely ill never go to. When the bell rang I made my way to Biology. The teacher put my all the way in the back next to some guy sleeping on his desk. When he heard his name he looked up and groaned when he saw me looking at him. I sat down and slouched in my chair looking at my phone. He turned to me and watched me text my grandma ”Kill me now!” I looked over at him after I put my phone away. “Look this is how its gonna go, don’t ask me for paper I don’t have any, or a pen I don’t bring one. There lucky I even come to this class. So basically don’t talk to me and I wont talk to you.” I smiled and turned back to the board. I noticed everyone staring at us in shock of hearing Trenton talk. Im guessing hes one of the guys that ‘Doesn’t give a f***.’
“Seems like we’re on the same page. But mines a little different, Don’t talk, look, or even think about me and ill act like you don’t exist. Easy as that.” He looked at me shocked and held out his hand. I heard someone gasped and looked to my left and saw a girl sitting there staring at us. “Take a picture it’ll last longer..”
“My names Trenton. Nice to meet yah.” I turned to him and looked at his hand with my arms crossed he waited for me to grab it. He stared at me with a smile on his face and watched me adjust in my seat looking at the board.
“It’s Kali.” I opened my binder to the notes section and started writing down the slides. “Didn’t I tell you not to look at me. I thought we were on the same page.” He laughed and laid his head back on the table and went back to sleep. When the class ended I grabbed my bag and books and left without even looking at Trenton. I could tell he watched as I walked away, maybe it was because I heard a bunch of girls talking about him as I walked out. He was in my next class but thank god he sat on the other side of the room. i sat in the back corner of the english room, it'll be easy for me to fall asleep now. Trenton stared at me the whole class until the teacher yelled at him, everyone stared laughing so he got up and walked out. Before he pushed the classroom door open he smiled at me. I didn't think anything of it until i got to my locker and he was leaning against it. I stopped when i noticed him and turned back around groaning.
"Wait Kali, i wanna talk to you real quick." i stopped and turned back around looking at him with a happy look on his face.
"What happened to you don't exist?" The look faded off his face and he grabbed my arm as i started walking away. I stopped and glared at him as he slowly let me go. I turned away and took a couple steps.
"Listen to me you spoiled little b****." i stopped and so did everybody else, i turned around towards him and walked straight up to him.
"Is that really what all you guys think of me? cause last time i checked i have had a job since i was 15, I work my ass off for everything i get. And you wanna know the funny think about that statement, if i was a spoiled b**** my parents would be alive right now, and i wouldn't be talking to you." Everyone got quiet and watched me walk out the doors of the high school and to my car where a bag sat on the hood, a card was attached to the side of it that said my name. Inside was a bunch of candy and a picture of me and my brother one day by the lake a couple years ago. I just about started crying until someone called my name.
"Kali." I looked behind me and Trenton and two other guys were walking up to my car. I unlocked it and started climbing in until he grabbed my hand, pushed me up against my car, and kissed me. When he pulled away, i took a deep breath and punched his shoulder. He grabbed it and winced in pain, his friends stood by the bumper and just watched as Trenton pinned me to my car again. "Look im really sorry.."
"Everyone is... But that doesn't bring them back. it makes me mad when people say they know how i feel because they don't. My mom will never go prom shopping with me, watch me go off to college, or help me plan my wedding. My dad isn't gonna see me or my brother grow up, and the saddest part about it. is im the reason they died." i tried to push my way through his arms but he kept them on the car with my head in-between them.
"Kali it isn't your fault, unless you personally stopped there heart." Tears started forming in my eyes so i looked down at my feet and tried to get them to go away. "Kali look at me." He tried to push my chin up but i forced it to stay down until i was ready to look up. "You cant change how or when things happen, but you can still have control over somethings in our life. like tonight." i looked up at him finally and he wiped away the tears off my cheeks. "Will you be my date to the Senior class dinner?"
"I cant... im only a Junior." He looked at me confused and grabbed my hands. I smiled and laughed a little as he pushed up my chin and kissed me softly.
"They'll make an exception." He let me go and walked over to his friends, they gave him high fives. His one friend with black hair gave him a twenty with a depressing look on his face.
"You think this is some joke?" I climbed into my car and sped back to my house. i was more pissed off at how i fell for a little joke like that. i kept thinking to myself 'your smarter and stronger then that.' i pulled into the driveway and walked into the house dodging the kitchen until i heard a guy call my name.
There he sat at the table looking straight at me with my uncle.
"Hi..." I ran up to him and gave him a huge hug. The hug lasted a good minute, because i wasn't ready to let go. "i've missed you Kali. Did you get the present?"
"I've missed you to Jakey and yes. i love it. But what are you doing here?" He smiled and i sat down at the end of the table criss crossed in the chair.
"I needed to see my sister, i havent heard from you in almost a month. i just wanted to make sure you were alive and ok. plus i really missed you." I smiled and looked down at my nails. Most of my nail polish was chipping off and my nails bitten down to the roots. I cracked my fingers and relaxed in the chair staring out the back window. The doorbell rang, so my uncle went and answered it for us.
"Hows school?" Jake sat up in the chair and smiled.
"Good, i have a girl friend, her names Anna, She's new this year. My grades are good. Im actually passing all my classes. What about you?" i looked down and let out a loud breath.
"Today was my first day, i guess i just wasnt ready to face everyone. I didn't think starting over would be this hard Jakey. It sucks..." My uncle came back into the kitchen and someone followed behind him slowly. I looked behind me when Jake looked past me and groaned when i saw who it was. "Why are you here?" Jake stood up and shook his hand.
"Hi, I'm Jake, Kali's brother." Trenton shook his hand and smiled.
"Im Trenton, Kali's Friend." I turned back around and looked back out the window.
"No your not." Jake walked back over to the table and sat down. Trenton sat in the last available seat left, right across from me. When he sat down, his head blocked the window so i was forced to look somewhere else.
"Well since Kali apparently lost all her manners over the last month, ill be the grown up. Would you like something to drink?" i turned to Jake and smiled.
"Yeah will you get me a mnt dew please?" Jake looked at me annoyed and turned back to Trenton who stared at me with a smile on his face. "Thanks little brother."
"No, im ok. Thanks though." Jake left the room and it became completely awkward. The mood in the room changed and my uncle Zac just sat there quietly. "Kali, can i please talk to you?"
"You've don't enough talking. its my turn." I played with the pen on the table as i looked at him. "Your an asshole for what you did in the parking lot and if you think im actually gonna forgive you, your way off. im not just some girl you can hit it and quit it. My parents taught me better. I also have respect for myself, something you need to get for yourself. What happened to our deal in Biology? I ment what i said. don't talk, think or look at me and ill act like you don't exist." Jake walked back into the room and handed me the can of mnt dew. i looked at it and shook my head no then stood up and left.
"Kali, you cant keep running away from your problems." I looked at Jake and shook my head and laughed a little.
"There is no problem. He's a nobody anyways. why waste my time remember, aren't those the same words you told me when Nate dumped me..." I walked into my room and changed into workout clothes and left for a run around town.
When i got back Trenton was chillin with my brother on the couch and my grandma was making dinner in the kitchen. My uncle was nowhere to be found. i walked into my room and opened my backpack and got lost in the books of knowledge the school provides us . I had my head phones in and my music turned all the way up so i couldn't hear anybody. Trenton walked into my room and sat at my desk looking at me. I looked at him and went back to work so i could get caught up in all my classes by the end of the week. I could hear his phone go off, then he left my room and went the opposite direction to the garage. My brother came and got me for dinner and was about to go get Trenton but i told him to let me get him. When i opened the door i could hear him talking clearly.
"Babe look, ill be there later. It's just a stupid dinner. I have some family stuff to do before. i promise, i gotta go ok? I love you. Bye." He hung up, turned and saw me shut the door. "Kali.. let me explain."
"Just leave, your exactly the type of guy id fall for... good thing i figured out your an asshole earlier. You almost had me going. Just go..." i turned to the house and walked back inside. Trenton pulled away in his 98 camaro and left. Back in the kitchen, Jake waited for me, Zac sat at the table cutting the ribs and grandma turned off the tv.
"Where's Trenton?" Jake looked behind me to see if anyone was following me but got disappointed when nobody showed up.
"He had family stuff to do. His mom needed him." We ate dinner in silence, then my uncle finally spoke.
"Mom, i have something to ask you?" Jake stopped eating and stared at Zac for a bit, then lowered his head and kept eating. "Can Jake move in with you?" i stopped, my whole body froze. My grandma stared right at me with a smile on her face, i took a deep breath waiting for her reply. I loved my brother, but seeing him everyday, sharing a bathroom, probably a room. Thats not ok. When my parents were alive we fought all the time, over stupid things.
"Id love for him to move in. We can convert the guest room into your bedroom." i relaxed and finished my mashed potatoes. I put my plate in the sink and went back to homework.
The next day, i did the same thing i did every morning. When i left for school, Jake hopped in the car and came with me to school. Trenton sat on the fence in front of my parking spot with a bunch of friends and waited for me to get out. I grabbed my backpack and walked towards the school ignoring him. By the time i reached the school he grabbed my arm and had my attention. But not for long, I slapped him and started walking away, some girl came running up to me. "Why did you just slap my boyfriend?" I looked her in the eyes and then back at Trenton holding his face. I rubbed my hand that hurt from the slap and fixed my backpack. "Cause he's a lying cheating b****. nice pick." I walked away to my locker as everyone stared at me. The principle walked up to me and told me to 'follow him.' I rolled my eyes and shut my locker and followed him into his office. "What happened at the west entrance isn't allowed. I know you’ve had a bad couple months but we have rules here and idc if he grabbed your arm or touched your butt. You are not allowed to touch eachother, now apologize." I looked at the principle dumbfounded and took a deep breath with a smile on my face. I started laughing a little and stood up. "No, because im not sorry for slapping him, maybe he should man up and take it instead of reporting it like a pussy. and ill apologize for that statement when you stop being a sexist asshole sir." I walked out of the office and down the hall to my locker. Trenton walked out after me and had a shocked look on his face. Jake stood at my locker waiting for me with my keys and glasses in his hand. He was talking to some girl that had ahold of his bicep and was totally flirting her pants off. "Move." The girl gave me a dirty look then wrapped her arm around Jake. "Ill smack that look off your face faster then you made it. Get out of my way." I grabbed my keys from Jake and the books I needed for the weekend. Trenton tried getting my attention by yelling my name from the across the hall. A bunch of students were walking in front of him and he couldn’t get through. I slammed my locker and started walking back to my car. The bell rang for school to start and everyone got out of my way as I walked against the current. The principle walked out the the side door to the office and handed me a sheet that told me I was suspended until I apoligized for my ‘disrespectful’ remarks. I put both my middle fingers up in the air at the principle as I walked past him. “Goodbye f*heads!” I yelled as I pushed my way through the double doors, now entering the daylight. "Kali wait!" Jake grabbed my arm and stopped me from my dramatic exit and pulled me back to the double doors a little. "What happened?" "Ms. Starlet. Stop right there." I pulled my arm away from Jake and started walking to the car again as the principle called my name. He stood by the doors not wanting to be locked out. "No, F*** this school." I threw the pink piece of paper on the ground and pulled the keys out of my pockets. Trenton tried to run after me but I heard jake say no, theres no getting her back. I secretly smiled at his comment because I knew he was right, because when i get this way theres no changing my mind, Im gonna leave no matter what. "Kali, STOP!" I looked back at Trenton and finally stopped when I was next to my car trying to find the right key to unlock it. I kept shaking my head no. I could hear him walking up to me, slowly taking a deep breath. I fixed my bag and waited for him to say something. "Please stay... you don't know what your doing..." "Trust me... I do, wont be the first school i've gotten kicked out of. probably wont be the last. Your better off just forgetting the past two days cause once im gone. Im gone." I turned back to my car and found the right key and drove away. My phone kept ringing but I couldn’t answer cause I knew if it was my grandma I would start balling my eyes out. I pulled into a forest perserve that I found one day just driving around. I parked the car and walked over to the peir and dangled my feet in the water. After a couple hours of just sitting there staring out at the lake, watching two little kids and im guessing there parents play in the water, I decided it was time to go home. The closer I got to my grandmas house the more my stomach started to turn. I finally pulled into the driveway and took a deep breath before I walked into the house where I know I would get an ear full from my brother and my grandma. I noticed Trenton’s car parked in the street which made me a little annoyed but I went inside anyways. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY!?” My brother came from the kitchen yelling at me like he was my father. I pushed him away from me a little bit so he’d stop spitting in my face. I walked into my room ignoring him as I pulled my sweatshirt over my tank top and turned back to him as he continued to yell at me. “KALI! LISTEN TO ME!!!” “YOUR NOT MY DAD! STOP ACTING LIKE IT.” I pushed him out of my room and climbed out the window with my bag by my side and ran until I was by the beach. My phone started ringing, I wasn’t gonna answer until I saw the caller ID, so I answered it. “Kali.. you there?” I took a deep breath and wiped the tears coming out of my eyes. “Hi.” I said softly as I crossed the highway onto the beach. I was breathing heavy from running so I stopped moving to catch my breath. “It’s been awhile, how is everything going?” “It’s been.. idk. How bout you?” I smiled at the sound of his voice. It was deep and strong with every word he spoke. I pictured the one time he snuck me out of my house back in New York City. He took me to a late night burger place that only a few people knew about. I still remember the smell of his colon and the way his eyes almost glowed in the dark and his half smile he did whenever I smiled at him. “I miss you… a lot. Schools not the same without your crazy ass.” I started laughing and wiped a couple tears that had fallen down my face. “When are you gonna come visit?” “Umm, this weekend actually. Ill see you later. I gotta go pack my stuff. It was nice talking to you John.” “Bye.” I hung up the phone and packed all my things in an hour cause i never really unpacked. I loaded them into the car while nobody was home. I wrote a letter so my grandma wouldn’t freak out when I never showed up for dinner and left it on the table. I got in the car and looked back up at the house and wiped the tears from my eyes.