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Weightless

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Faith:

Outcast. Alone. Gone.

I walked into school with my hood of my favorite old sweatshirt pulled low over my head, my hair a mess, and my jeans rumpled. They were the only thing left in my closet. I threw out all of my other clothes because they were too tight, too ugly, or too old. As I made my way down the hallway, staring at the fake tiled floors, a million thoughts poured out of my mind. This was the last week of my junior year, and I felt absolutely miserable. I had my AP English and AP Pre-Calculus finals today and even though I’d studied, I still didn’t think I’d do well. Whatever. Lately, I didn’t care anymore about anything.
~
Summer. The heat. The blinding blue skies. I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat. I would sleep all day, ignore my summer assignments, and not leave the house. No more friends? Oh well. No more memories? What memories? I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat. I wouldn’t eat.
~
School. Homework. No more sleeping. Assholes. I weighed in at one-hundred and twenty-five pounds in September. I’d bought new clothes with my grandma who had complimented me on my weight loss. She was completely oblivious. I’d chosen the kind of clothes that only fit you if you’re a stick figure and only look good on you if you’re popular. When I entered school that first Tuesday, I felt like everything was suddenly better. I was skinny now. But in trade for my beauty, I sacrificed my dignity and my old reputation as a goody two-shoes. I was a b**** now. And today I would be sitting lunch at the popular kids table. I got a personal invitation from the most popular girl in school herself. How many times have I said this before? Looks are all that matter in this generation.
~
I was suddenly the new popular girl.
“Hey, Faith, you’re so cool.”
“You’re smoking hot, babe.”
“Whoa you look great.”
“Oh, my gosh! I love your outfit!”
“Cute shoes.”
“What did you do with your hair?”
“Work those shorts, girl.”
“Damn you fine.”
“Faith! Faith! Faith!”
I felt like a celebrity having microphones and cameras shoved in my face by the paparazzi. Even though it was annoying, it was better than being ignored all the time.
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