For Laura. And Amy. And Staci. And Lacee.
My name is Thom Stevens. I myself am not akin to be telling this story. You should be asking the woman who I had dated for over ten years. This short love story is called Heartbreaker. No, it is nothing to do with the album by the great country rocker Ryan Adams, so there is no reason to be getting lawsuits and trying to handle this legally. Anyways, it all started in the fall of two thousand and five. I had just graduated from Champlin Park High School. I had gotten a 3.3 GPA, with my best class being English, a whole ninety nine percent. I was part of the school choir, and I was somewhat of a loaner. I had been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder, or what the conservative political idiots called Manic Depressive Disorder. Yeah, I never quite understood why I got diagnosed with it and kind of goes over my head when I want to try and figure it out. I swear a lot, but I'll try not to include any of that within this story, because I bet some evangelical whack job will try and get me in trouble with some conservative or liberal politician or whatever you think makes sense to say. So yeah, I graduated within the Honor Roll. I didn't get to say any speech, that was left to Ben Williams or some guy I have no idea exists and is probably going to go off to some rich college like Harvard and become a surgeon. Yeah, I hate his guts. He tried to take my ex-girlfriend away from me ten years ago when we were still dating. Yeah, I guess that's the whole point of this story. Anyways, I decided I would start my college career at North Hennepin and get those stupid generals out of the way. I'm one of those students who decided not to do many generals. I didn't ever do math, so that was a good idea I guess. I did one semester of Pre-Calculus and I got a D plus in it. Not my greatest work, but I guess it works out fine enough for me. I had a goal I wanted to achieve in life, being a psychologist. Before getting to that dream, I had wanted to do something involving English. Maybe work at the border patrol and help some Mexicans with their English, or work for some film critic as his bus boy, or whatever happens to me. It's strange you know, after high school, the rest of your life just seems to happen. And you can't stop life, it just keeps showing up whenever the worst possible situations. And sometimes I just hate myself so much I wish sometimes I would die. Maybe I do not understand myself clearly and yet another symptom of Bi-Polar disorder. I met Madeline when I was six years old. We went to the same church, and at that point I really enjoyed going to my church. I loved Jesus and the Bible and everything else so much. Now I think it’s just a place where people who are like minded go. I stopped believing in the whole religion of Christianity when I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. People said I had to choose to be depressed or not, those f*ers never asked for how I felt, or what I was wanting. They just told me to shut up and be an evangelical republican Christian. S*** faces. Anyways, yeah so we were friends for about nine years. We were best friends and very happy with each other. When we turned fifteen, I decided to ask her out. I went up to her on the morning of April twenty fourth, two thousand and two and asked her out. It was a Sunday at church. It was also her birthday. I’m sure she was a bit hesitant at first, and trust me; I had instant messaged by best friend Erik all night to get the guts to ask her out. Yeah, in eighth grade I liked a girl name Amy Master, the biggest mistake of my life, man she was terrible. I should have never ever, ever liked her. Now I’m starting to talk quite juvenile, which could or could not be another symptom of my problem. Anyways, so I asked her out, and she said yes. I saw a ray of sun come through the window, and my heart was pounding very loud and I could hear birds and crickets singing out their song. I had finally gotten my first girlfriend. I, being fifteen, was so excited, and to be honest, I had no idea what it felt like before this time. The first year, I didn’t have a permit, so I couldn’t drive over to her house to pick her up and hang out. The second year, I didn’t have a license or the money to get a car, but she did. So it was kind of strange, me going to Perkins, or McDonalds, or Wendy’s or a park and having her drive. When I was seventeen, I took the class and got a leaners permit. A few times, I would illegally drive, with her in the passenger seat, but then we stopped it after we saw some kid get pulled over and his girlfriend crying, and they looked younger than us. On my eighteenth birthday, in May of two thousand and five, I woke up and saw Madeline sitting on a chair holding a book. She handed it to me and told me she spent all night making a scrapbook of me and her. I thanked her passionately, and we were about to hit second base, and I realized it should wait, and I leaned off her. She then understood that I wanted it to be true and right. I then drove to the DMV with my mother and I took the driving test and nearly failed. I got an eighty four when the minimum was eighty three. I was extremely terrible at parallel parking. To celebrate, I for the first time in our three year relationship drove her and myself to Panera in Maple Grove. I got a BLT Panini with a bowl of chicken soup and a cookie and Madeline got a bowl of soup, a salad, and a baguette roll. Throughout the meal, I saw so many people, and I came to the realization that these are now my fellow students, and I was entering the real world. Madeline was born in April, on the twenty fifth of nineteen eighty seven. She did look beautiful. Her eyes were a beautiful brown shade, and her eyebrows were near perfect, and she had a beautiful nose, and red lips, and she had the perfect figure, and I always felt excited whenever I looked at her. She finished eating her meal about ten minutes after mine. After that, she drove me to a park somewhere in Plymouth, and we sat down at a picnic table, and she had gone to Cub Foods and bought me a small cake. On the cake it read,” To the one I love”. I remember reading that and getting a warm feeling in my heart. We ate the cake, a delicious marble one, with vanilla frosting and fluffy texture. We then decided to go on a little walk. It was a beautiful night. The stars were shining as bright as their little brother; the woods looked beautiful, with fallen trees and fallen dreams. The trail wasn’t even, so sometimes Madeline or I would stumble, and we would catch each other with a strong grip. It’s such a strange feeling, being caught in the arms of the one you love. The trail was a mile and a half long circle, and we ended up getting to the parking lot. I wish something would have gone wrong that day, but nothing did. That’s pretty surprising I guess, given the nature of how everything else went in my life. So we both decided to do our first two years of college at North Hennepin Community College. The teachers were quite terrible, and the whole atmosphere was pretty negative. Though I am a sworn atheist, I like many, but not a lot of, of the morals of the Christian Church, so I stayed away from parties and drinking and tobacco, and marijuana and crack and whatever other drugs there were. I got a pretty good GPA there as well. I was doing a lot of psychology classes, while Madeline was doing more liberal arts bullshit or whatever she had wanted to do. I saw a girl I knew back in the eighth grade named Amanda. She liked me the first year of college, but I wanted to stay true to Madeline. I guess it came with good karma. The next year, we both did pretty well in our classes. I got really depressed at the end of the second semester and nearly dropped out, but thanks to Madeleine and my psychologist, I was able to overcome most of the s*** that was tearing me down. I decided that I would finish my college career at the University of Minnesota, while Madeline decided to finish it at Bethel University. At this point it was June, two thousand and seven. I decided I would go to the apple store and buy an iPhone. I got there and they told me they were all sold out. I decided to go to Best Buy, and I bought a sixteen gigabyte one. I then decided I would buy one for Madeline. When I got to her apartment that afternoon, I gave it to her she was so excited. I wanted to be happy for her, but as usual I could only dwell on the negative. About six months later I was typing a paper for my History of Psychology class and was listening to my iPod Touch and texting a couple of peers and then I decided to get a sandwich to eat. When I came back outside, it was drenching in rain, and my sixteen hundred dollar laptop, my three hundred dollar iPhone, and my three hundred dollar iPod Touch were outside. Something came over me and I got very upset. Luckily, they all still worked, so I was able to use them again.