All of the Unknown and Forgotten
Author's note: I created this back in eighth grade and worked on it through my freshman year. A shame I will never finish it.
So, Allainai had written in my diary. I've noticed that my handwriting has even changed. I find it strange to look back on what I have written before, and find myself moved by my own words. Apparently, I am a very good writer.
It amazes me that I would EVER be a part of the girls that I hate now. I was a popular! That sickens me down to a level that I have never known. I feel like my face, hair, and body does not match my new personality. It seems like everything on me should be darker.
I told Allainai this, and I swore that if I explained my thoughts anymore, she would take a knife and slit my throat out of sadness, and demand to have the old Crystal back. I feel so bad, but this is who I am now. Until I get my memory back, that is how this will always be. Although, it seems that I am almost the same, except that I've turned hard, and my views on people are slightly different.
I don't believe that I am in love with Taylor. He doesn't seem right to me. Even though he's charming, there is something off about him. It scares me. Allainai was talking to me all day today about him. Talking about things that I had not written in my diary (I wrote A LOT of poems about him).
I'm just sad that I don't even remember Rose, who is supposed to be my best friend in the world. She looks at me like a dog that has been beaten. Like I beat her.
So many people and faces that I do not know. I feel lost all the time, and I feel the need to lash out at people, who want to help, but I just want to be alone, trying to get this memory back on my own, but I know that it is not possible. They're doing some of my favorite things, and it hasn't helped a bit. What will happen if I don't ever get it back?
Even reading my diary, and now thinking back on it, I could say that I have seen it before, but I am not sure if that is just me wanting to remember, or if I am actually remembering reading it again, as if I had looked back on it. I will have to ask Allainai about it. Maybe she will have some answers to this mystery of mine.