Hidden Within

June 5, 2012
By Konalia GOLD, Orlando, Florida
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Konalia GOLD, Orlando, Florida
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Author's note: This was an assignment from my language arts teacher and it turned into this story. She allowed us to write anything at all and with some thinking the character "robin" popped into my head and after changing somethings I got this. I don't really know what i want people to get for this but I hope some people enjoy it.

“Does everyone live like this momma?” I said while cleaning out my cuts from the fight with my new step-dad. I was only 5 at the time and growing up in situations like this, I had no idea if it was normal for bad things to happen. My mom just married him for his money and now she was realizing her big mistake. She didn’t realize how dangerous he could really be till now, where he first lashed out at me. This was not her first husband since my real dad and one after another they left or died, Either from drugs or fighting. But this one, this was the worst one of all. As time went on – Just like the last guy- He started drugs, slowly bring them home and then started coming home at 1 in the morning, Drunk. Me, now 12, has started to work, and my step-dad had just lost his job and has yet made an effort to find a new one. But my mom couldn’t divorce him, she was to scared of what he might do to me or to herself. I come home every night late because of work and wake up early to go to school. With no quiet place at home I did my homework at school. While being at home is hard I still did good in school because I found out what life should really be like. Waking up to a parents touch, to leave the house with no fear, to be able to get gifts just because. To come home and feel like there was nothing in the world that could hurt you. To not be blamed for everything that goes wrong and to not have to carry the world on your shoulders . That day I promised myself that I would live that life as soon as I could and until now, I thought the only way to do that was to do good in school and get into college. I see it differently now though. Coming to school early helped me with that. In the morning they had the news on every day in the office so I would go in and watch it with them and after 6 years of that I have seen countless stories about children disappearing and never being seen again. But yesterday I saw something that would change my life. The tv was blaring saying “Missing 6 year old found 20 years later! We don’t know how but this is incredible! Mr. Taylor mick now 26 is finally reunited with his family. Mick isn’t telling us where he was all these years but one thing he did say was that life would never be the same.” I hadn’t realized that a child could go missing without being kid napped or forced to run away. It could of just been them, their own decision , to run away. It could have been them realizing they deserved better. As pictures and videos scrolled past the screen I realized what I could do. But not yet, not with momma being sick.

Now 14 I finally couldn’t take it anymore. My mom screaming “Robin no! Stop it!” I know she didn’t want me to get hurt but I could take him anymore. As she holds me back from my step-father, While he holds a knife and me with just my hands. I now had 2 jobs, not only because we needed the money but to get away from the house. I was taking care of my mother, we didn’t know what was wrong with her. Ive been saving up money to take her to the doctor and I only have 300 dollars more, and with my 2 jobs money is coming in pretty fast. When I finally got the money I paid the hospital right away so that my step-father couldn’t take the money away from me and taking my mothers only chance of getting better, and my only change of getting away. I took my mom to the doctor so I didn’t have to pay extra for him to come to us. “Please sign here, do you have an appointment?” the lady behind the desk asked. “Uhm yes I uhm I mean my mother does with uhm doctor… Uhm hold on let me check.” I said kind of nervous. While digging in my pocket for the paper looking up, moving my dark black hair out of my face. “Doctor Nick.” I said. “Oh Ok it shouldn’t be that much longer please take a seat.” She replied. As I walked back to my seat it felt like a million blank faces, that i've only seen once, when I was little. It was the last look from my father. My real father, the one who cared about us, My mom and me. We didn’t know if we could go on but we ended up doing just that, or at least she did. I was scared that she forgot about him so quickly, and as I thought of that, it hit me, like a million emotions coming at me at once. Now I was scared that she would do the same for me. But I wouldn’t know and that’s what I like, not knowing if she would cry herself to sleep, or if she would be mad at me for leaving her, or if she wouldn’t care and act like I was never a part of her life. That walk back to my mom was the longest walk I have ever walked. Finally reaching her I sat down scared to say that everything was going to be okay because I didn’t know if it would be, but I did anyways not knowing what else to say. After about 20 minutes I heard my name. “Robin? Robin?” a nurse in purple was calling out. I looked at my mom who was falling asleep now touching her softly I said “Mom their ready come on lets go.” She looked up and slowly made her way back to the front of the room. Where we pasted people in rooms laying in beds with family and friends around them.

“ I’m sorry to tell you, but your son, your son didn’t make it, he, he died during the heart operation. He told me to tell you thank you and that he loves you and that he would be looking over you.” A doctor said to a skinny short lady. As I pasted she started to collapse, and I of course jumped to catch her. As she clung onto me like a son of her own, my mom, the nurse and doctor all stopped and stared out of surprise, that I, Me out of all people, would do something like that. I didn’t know if I should of felt hurt that they thought of me like that, or if I should be surprised myself. The nurse looked at me like she was trying to hurry me along. But I couldn’t leave this poor lady who just lost a son alone with no one. I looked around and then said “ Go on i'll catch up later.” When they got out of view my attention was right back to her. I didn’t know what to do I thought about many things to ask but then when I was going to talk I thought of what I wanted someone to do for me. To just be there, someone to be there just so I could hold on to them, so I could feel like someone was there and that someone cared enough to give me a reason to still live. To give me a purpose. When she finally noticed she didn’t know me she looked up and asked “ Why?” “Why what?” I asked ” Why did you stay with me when you have someone in here to?” I thought about this for a moment but I don’t know why. I already knew the answer, it just wouldn’t come out. “Well I guess when you have no one there for you, you take any chance for someone who does.” I said. She looked at me for a moment like that didn’t make sense, and to be truthful I didn’t know if I made sense either but she finally started up again. She started with “ You know my daughter told me that sometimes you have to give someone else the time to tell their story. So now is your time to explain everything, or as much you want to.” I looked at her and I started “When I was 4 my father died and the last thing he said to me was to not lose the light. I have yet to figure out what he meant by that. But after countless step-dads, my mom found one who was thought to be good but turned out bad. He first lashed out at me when I was five. I didn’t want to believe that life was bad and got worse but I had no reason to not believe it. That was the only way I knew and my mom was and is too scared to stand up to him. I work two jobs and my mom has been sick since I was 12 and now I finally got the money to pay for a doctor. I've been planning to find a better life and once my mom gets better, I’m leaving the house. I'll be fifth teen in two days and then I will be a run away, just to get away from here. I don’t really know where im going but anywhere is better than here.” As I went on she sat there just listening, Like she could listen for ever. When I finished she right away said “You’re a brave boy to stand up for yourself and your mom.” I sat there, shocked. When I could finally speak I said “ Brave? Im many things but brave is not one word close to what I am.” She sat there shocked but finally said “You know my daughter, she once told me that bravery isn’t about having no fear. It is about being afraid but still doing what needs to be done.” With this response I didn’t know what to say or even if I could say anything at all. All I could do is just look at her with a blank face that I use to many times. She picked up on me not knowing what to say and she went on. “ My daughter is very smart and has taught me a lot.” I looked at her and said “ You know, she is smart. She made me relies something about me that I never knew was in me.” She smiled and said “ You know her birthday is in 3 weeks almost fifth teen too.” I didn’t have time to reply, she started digging around in her bag until she found what she was looking for. She handed it to me, on the pictures there was this beautiful girl one had her standing on top of a hill, wind blowing through her brown curly hair, Her eyes as blue as water in the summer with the light shining on them. Another one with her sitting on her brothers shoulders smiling like she could see the world from there. The last one was of her with her curly hair almost perfect looked like a school picture. I looked up and was amazed at how beautiful she was. I smiled and said “ She seems amazing.” She smiled as she looked at the picture I was now handing back to her. She looked at me and said “ How am I ever going to repay you?” I got up and looked down at her and I thought about money but then I thought about what had just happened and realized that she helped me more than I helped her. I said “ I don’t need anything you gave me enough already.” She, although didn’t think it was. She thought and then grabbed a pen and wrought on the back of a picture. She handed it to me and said “I think this may help you a little bit.” She smiled and handed me the picture and then walked away and left. I looked at the picture. It was the school one and one the back it said “ Thanks for everything! This may help you, 2673 Sermine rode NY,NY.” I stood there in shock that she was giving me a place to go. As I walked back to my mom I put the picture in my pocket making sure to not mess it up.

As days went by and my mom became well and I, now 15, started to pack and stopped going to school or work. The day I left I wrote a letter to my mother. Saying, ”Mom, I know your better now and that you love me, but I have to leave now. Please don’t think it was your fault but I cant take anymore of my so called “new father.” I’ll be safe and maybe me and you will see each other again someday. I miss and love you. Please be safe. For me… I love you so much mom. Don’t forget about me. Love your son, Robin.” It was harder to leave then I thought it would be but I left to escape my past and was never to return in the future. I knew where I was going now but I didn’t know how I was going to get there, or even if I was going to get there. I grabbed the picture out of my pocket and then it hit me, I needed to see her to met her, she needed to know what she did for me. I didn’t know what to expect but taking my extra money I ended up making it to New York. Whether by car , train, or walking. There were so many cars and people I didn’t expect so many things going on all at once. I took one last look at the picture studying it and for the first time I saw printed writing. It said “ B.D.” next to it. It was her birth date and it was today. I started running till I could find a taxi and once I made it I ran up to the door and knocked. But no answer and as I went to knock again I noticed a note saying “Be back at 12:50 PM.” At the sight of the note in the window I saw my reflection. It was me, the real me with no chains and no restrictions. Me in my black shorts and brown hoodie and my straight black hair with my last scar on my face disappearing. It was 12:45 so I sat down waiting. After a while I saw the lady down the street, I shot up and started running. I didn’t know why I was running but with nothing better to do I let my self run. Finally reaching her I stopped and asked” Do you remember me?” she looked at me and said “Of course I do Robin! Come, Come grab this and lets get you inside. Welcome to the family!” As she opened the door it was like a new world opening up to me. It was spectacular. “So today is Macys birthday.” She started saying “what shall we do?” I looked at her not really knowing what to do. “ I don’t know ive never had a birthday celebration before.” I said. She looked at me and said “well im glad your first one is with us.” So we decorated and cooked and when Macy walked into the house I felt like I couldn’t move at all she was so beautiful. She was kind of shocked to see me but, just like her mom, she understood once we explained it to her. I looked at her and said “You’ve helped me with so much and you didn’t even know it and I just had to tell you how much it meant to me.” That night was the start of my new life.

Now two months after moving in with Macy and her mom I had finally found out what a real family was, what they do and how it feels to be loved. In a new school now, I was in second period sitting next to Macy, my only class with her. My teacher was playing the news just like any other day. When suddenly in the middle of my sentence I stopped and stood up and watched the television. The class just watched me not really knowing what was going on. My old house flashed on the television. I started to walk up to it and turned the volume up. “ Now in New Jersey our own Miss Jane with a new story.” A man on the news said. “Hi, Im Jane in New Jersey with a new story, a local women was stabbed to death by her own husband in this apartment.” She said. I fell to my knees crying and Macy grabbing me and holding me tight. Everyone fell to a hush, as the news went on, “She presented a divorce paper to her husband and he said that if he couldn’t have her no one could. Later on while searching the house the found a letter from her son Robin, Stating “Mom, I know your better now and that you love me, but I have to leave now. Please don’t think it was your fault but I cant take anymore of my so called “new father.” I’ll be safe and maybe me and you will see each other again someday. I miss and love you. Please be safe. For me… I love you so much mom. Don’t forget about me. Love your son, Robin. That letter was found along with another letter saying, Robin, I don’t know where you are, but I hope your safe. Your probably not going to get this because I don’t know where you went. But your so called “father” has gone crazy and I am going to present him with the divorce papers tomorrow and then go look for you. I will look and look for you but I don’t know if I will ever find you. I miss and love you! love your mom, May. The boy has yet to be found and the step-dad has not been found yet." So there I was sitting on the floor and next thing I knew I was on my way to my old house with Macy and her mom. Once we got there I went to find my step dad. Not caring what or who was watching or if anyone knew who I was. When I saw him I called police and with them on their way I confronted him not really thinking. I punched him right in the face. He stumbled and jumped to his feet again and brought out his knife and got me right across the face and before I could punch him again the cops showed up and took him to jail and took me to Macy where she ran up to me and kissed me. For the first time who knew it would have been like that. Once everything was done we went back to New York. To our safe home where no one could hurt us. We buried my mother on a hill that faced New York so I could see her everyday just by stepping out of the house. Now a couple weeks after my moms death we were safe again.

Four years later Macy and I were planning our wedding and will be moving out in a couple weeks. In the end I found that life doesn’t start off bad and go to worse. It does get better. My story is now helping people with their own problems for now I am a therapists and Macy is a doctor. My step- dad will always be in jail. For Macy and I will always have our story and each other.

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