Unknown Fear | Teen Ink

Unknown Fear

May 31, 2012
By Thefashioninme SILVER, Coral Springs, Florida
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Thefashioninme SILVER, Coral Springs, Florida
8 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere. "
Joyce A. Myers


Author's note: When I wrote this short story, I was in sixth grade and loved scary movie. I had just been able to go to a writers' workshop in Kansas City. I after I went to the workshop I was so inspired that I felt I just had to write something. I remembered about movies I'd seen about abductions and things in that nature and felt I needed to write about that. I know that this story still needs work and has a short ending, but I really like the story in the position it is in and I hope whom ever reads this story feels the smae way.

I hear noises. I hear a horrible piercing scream. It’s a voice I’ve never heard. I feel the warm tears flow down my face – or is it blood? I’m not sure. I move closer to the door. My body shakes and shivers. I see splashes of paint on the door. I get a closer look. It’s not paint.

I still hear voices. Screaming. Yelling. Shouting. They all differ but I can’t tell the difference. I hear cries of pain. It’s still all of a sudden. I just hear a scratch on the floor going further…… and further. I stay near the door listening. It feels like years are passing by. After a long while I hear footsteps. Hard footsteps. They come closer….. and closer…… closer. The door flings open. I scream.

My life is normal. I have perfect grades. I’m in sports all year long. I’m a reading freak. I’m a typical 14 year old girl. There is nothing typical about what will happen to me. I was hit when I didn’t expect it. I was warned. They told me. My parents. My school teachers. My friends. They all told me to be careful on the streets, but I didn’t care. Because I didn’t listen, I’m afraid for life. Not only physically, but mentally.

My name is Luciana Torrez. In this story you can call me Alicia. I’m an 8th grader at Bingham Middle School in Missouri. I love to be outside.
I do everything outside. Everyone’s always telling me to be outside less often. They told me it was too dangerous. I would always tell them that I wear sunscreen and sunglasses, but my definition of dangerous was different from their definition. I learned that the hardest way imaginable. I’m now afraid of every man that passes by. I’m confined in my own skin. The experience will never be forgotten.

It was a typical Monday morning. I put on my green flip flops, blue tank top, and gladiators then walked outside like I do every day. I thought it was a normal day. It wasn’t. I was walking down Independence Avenue. I always took this street on Mondays and Fridays. I had a strange feeling that morning when I woke up. I almost considered not taking my usual morning walk. I decided to walk anyway. I ignored that strong feeling. I was stubborn.

I suddenly felt the urge to turn around and run all the way back home. I knew something was wrong, but I kept walking. I wanted to finish my morning walk. I had never not finished my any of my daily walks. I was not going to let a little chill down my spine stop my walk.

I just passed the stop sign. I stopped. It felt like my legs were frozen. I heard footsteps. They stopped. Then I felt something …… someone was right behind me. I started to turn slowly, terrified of what could be behind me. I saw nothing behind me. I started to relax. Then I felt a strong push. I slammed on the ground. I felt blood rushing down the side of my head. I rolled over to see a man. The man had a scar going straight across his face. That was all I noticed about him before he kicked me. I lost consciousness.

When I awoke I could feel the ground moving under me. Where am I? What am I doing here? What happened? My heart was racing. I heard a train whistle. I was on a train! I looked around. I was not alone. There were other people. In fact, they were all girls around my age. All were tossed around on the floor of the train car. They were unconscious. Then I saw the man.

The man was tossed in a blanket. He was the same man who was on Independence Avenue. The man who put me on this train. He was fast asleep. This would be my chance to escape. But there were no doors. Of course not. I’m on a train. Then a girl about my age woke up. She crawled over to me.

“Help me,” she said, “Please. Help me. I don’t know where I’m at and I want to go home.” Her eyes were red. She was crying. I felt sorry for her but I was also in the same predicament. She didn’t realize that.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I want to go home too,” I said in a calm quiet voice even though I wanted to scream and shout.

She looked at me in disappointment, but also understanding why I couldn’t help her. She dug her head into her hands. Then she wiped away her tears.

“Well,” she said softly, “Since we’re stuck here I think we should stick together.”

I nodded in agreement then said, “My name is Luciana Torrez, but you can call me Alicia. What’s your name?”

She smiled and said, “Katherina Greene, but you can call me Kathren. Why are you here? I was picking up my sister from school when that creepy guy with the scar across his face jumped on me. I had no idea this would ever happen,” Kathren said softly but quickly. “I’ve seen movies about this kind of stuff. If this is anything like the movies that guy will kill us all. I hope this is nothing like the movies.”

When Kathren said that a cold chill ran up and down my spine. After a minute I finally got the courage to talk again.

“I was walking in my neighborhood like I do every day. I knew something was wrong. I was too stubborn to turn around and go back home. Then that……guy….. he attacked me. My worst unknown fear was unleashed the moment I saw him. A fear I didn’t know about myself.” I felt a little relaxed talking to Kathren. Then I heard something. I looked up to see the man. He was staring at Kathren and me.

“Why, hello Katherina and Luciana. I’m so glad to see you awake,” he said with an expressionless face and ornery, loud voice that woke the other girls. “All the other girls are awake too. That’s great. Now I can tell you all. I’ve following and watching every single one of you for a while now. Waiting for the right moment to take you all away. I hope none of you loved your families because you will never see them again. You’re living with me now. Now, if you talk to anyone this is what will happen to you.”

At that moment the man grabbed Kathren’s arm and dragged her across the floor. She screamed and kicked but he didn’t mind. He stuck his hand into the little hole that provided the light in the train car and pulled it. It opened into a large rectangle of sunlight that blinded all the girls but the man didn’t mind the light one bit. He grabbed Kathren, picked her up, and dropped her out of the train car. Her screams came to an end. A horrible and revolting end.

The man closed the large hole of sunlight then walked towards me. He bent over so his face was in front of mine. My jaw was dropped. I was dumbfounded. I was trying to figure out what just happened. Then he lifted his hand and struck me. I could feel the blood rush to my face. I turned red. My nose bled. He smiled.

“Do as I say and you might live the longest,” he said in a faint whisper. He laughed a horrible laugh. His breath was foul. His teeth yellow and full of bits of food. I will never forget the smell of his breath, the look of his teeth, and the red scar across his face. I will also never…….never forget Kathren.

After Kathren’s death I spoke to no one. I just sat and stared at the ceiling…....wondering. What will happen to me? Will I ever see my family again? Will I come out alive in the end? Will I ever go home? Will the man kidnap more girls? These questions were racing through my mind. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did Kathren, the only person I could talk to, have to die? Why her? Why not me? I could’ve gotten out of this mess but he took Kathren instead.

All I heard in my head were voices. My mother. My father. My friends. Their voices flying through my thoughts. Then I hear a scream. I look around but nothing stirs. I then realized that the screaming was only in my thoughts. I couldn’t recognize it though. Then I realized it was Kathren’s scream running across my mind. Then I saw the image of the man dropping Kathren off the train. I shielded my eyes with my arm, but I still could see the image replaying over and over in my mind. I heard her screams getting louder and louder. I kept trying to forget about it, but the image wouldn’t leave. It felt like the image and scream were replaying in my mind over for days. I started to cry. The tears blurred the image. I finally fell asleep.

I woke up with blood shot eyes. My throat was dry. I had dried tears on my face. The train whistle woke me up. Then I felt someone next to me. It was Kathren. But Kathren was dead. How is she right next to me? I didn’t care. I was glad she was next to me and not dead. She then woke up. She looked frightened.

“Help me,” she said. “Please help me. I don’t know where I’m at and I want to go home.” Her eyes were red like when I first met her. In fact, that was exactly what she said when I first met her.

“Kathren, you already know you can’t go home. I can’t help you,” I said trying to stay calm, but I didn’t know what was going on.

“How do you know my name? I don’t even know you,” she said looking at me in horror. She was acting very strange. She was trying to figure out if she knew me. I was trying to figure out how she was alive and sitting next to me.

“Kathren, what happened? I thought you were dead. I saw the man drop you out of the train car. I saw you die.” When I said this Kathren flinched back in shock. She started crying. She was getting scared.

“What are you talking about? Are you crazy?” Kathren looked at me like I was a hallucination, then Kathren looked up then froze. The man was staring at me and Kathren again.

“Why, hello Katherina and Luciana. I’m so glad to see you awake,” he said with an expressionless face and ornery, loud voice just like the first time he spoke. His voice woke the other girls. “All the other girls are awake too. That’s great. Now I can tell you all. I’ve following and watching every single one of you for a while now. Waiting for the right moment to take you all away. I hope none of you loved your families because you will never see them again. You’re living with me now. Now, if you talk to anyone this is what will happen to you.”

Why was this happening again? Why was the man telling us the same thing he said earlier? Why was Kathren still alive? Before I could think of answers the man walked towards me.

The man grabbed my arm. He dragged me across the train car floor. I screamed. He opened the little hole of light into the rectangle of light. He picked me up. Then he dropped me from the fast moving train car. My body crashed on the cracked, dry earth.

I woke up. I was sweating like a mad-man. I had no idea about what just happened. Didn’t I just die? What was going on? Was I dreaming? I must have been dreaming. I was alive, but Kathren was nowhere to be seen. Before I had a chance to think anymore the train stopped.

The man stood up. He walked up to girl a little younger than me. He whispered something to her. She stood up. He pushed her until she fell off the train. The man did that with all the girls then walked over to me last.


“Remember about what I told you. Now stand,” he whispered in my ear. A sudden chill swan down my back. I was scared. I listened to him. I stood up and started walking to the door of the train. He then ran up to me and pushed me down. I landed on my face.

“You didn’t listen. Stand Up.” He was yelling now. I stood up and stayed still. “You know, you’re a cute little doll. You’re lucky your still alive Luciana, or should I call you Alicia. Now jump off the train,” he said in his unpleasant voice again while gesturing to the train car door.

I was reluctant at first. I look at his eyes and knew what to do. I went to the door of the train and sat down on the ledge to jump off. I was about to jump off when the man kicked me in the back of my head. I fell off the train and landed on my knees. My knees burned. I started to cry. The man walked up to me.

“I told you to do exactly what I say. Exactly. Exact. Just like I tell you. No other actions. Just like I tell you. Exactly like I tell you.” He was smiling. He knew I was hurt and he liked it. That was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to hurt the girls. Maybe even kill them. Maybe even kill me. He wants to see the girls suffer. He wants to see me suffer.

After I got off the train more men came. They all had scars. They loaded all the girls into the back of a small moving truck. When the men closed the door of the back of the truck blackness filled the air. The girls all fell asleep.

When I woke up I wasn’t in the truck anymore. I was in a small room with all the girls. It was windowless with a small hanging light bulb providing the only dim light in the room. My heart was racing. Where was I? Why am I here? What is happening?

I was still trying to figure out where I was when the men walked into the room. One by one they grabbed a few of the girls’ arms and dragged them away. They didn’t care that the girls were kicking and screaming. They just dragged them out of the tiny room. Then the man who kidnapped me walked up to me. He whispered something with a smile. My heart was thudding too loud for me to hear him. He grabbed my arm. I screamed. He dragged me into another room.

Hours passed by. All the other girls were asleep, but I didn’t dare to even doze off. I sat looking at the wall in shock. One minute I was walking in my neighborhood and the next I am here in a strange place where strange men want to kill me, but want to torture me first. Then my thoughts burst.

One of the men walked in. He grabbed one of the sleeping girls and started dragging her across the floor. She screamed and tried to hang on to one of the other girls, but the man was too strong.

All the girls gathered around the door. We hear piercing screams. Screams of pain. We hear the girl telling him to stop. Yelling for help. She keeps screaming. All the girls are still in fear. Listening. Waiting for the terrible sounds to stop. Finally the screams come to an end. We all wait awhile by the door, listening, but nothing happened. We all spread out on the floor again and fell asleep.

I woke to screaming. The men were dragging some girls into the room and dragging some girls out of the room. I was looking for the man who kidnapped me, but he was nowhere to be seen. I was relived. None of the other men took me. I knew though that the man would take me into a different room and eventually kill me.

Day after day the same thing happened. A man would come in, take one of the girls and beat her or kill her. Then after all the girls listened by the door then fell asleep, we wake up to girls screaming. Some girls come in into the room and some leave. Then it all starts over.

It feels like years are passing by. None of the girls knew when day was and when night time fell upon the sky. Now more of the girls are leaving the room and less were coming in. I’m getting scared. I know the fewer girls there are, the greater chance there is of myself being next to be beaten or even killed. Most girls are being killed now instead of beaten. With ever girl that dies the more I think of dying. The more I think of dying the more I think that death will get me next.

Now there is only Sarah and me. I know the girls name is Sarah because she dropped a gift card that was in her pocket. Her name is Sarah Gates. It must have been her birthday before she got kidnapped, because the card was addressed from her mother and the front of the card had a birthday cake and the number “15” on it. It must have been her 15th birthday. She is very calm when other girls are killed, but in her eyes you can see complete fear. I am like her. I look calm on the outside, but on the inside my soul is gone. It’s been replaced by fear. Fear of death.

I haven’t smiled in a long time. The only time I smiled was when I met Kathren and when I found out Sarah’s name. I think Sarah hasn’t smiled in a longer time. There were two other girls in the room awhile ago. One of the girls smiled all the time even though there was no reason to smile at all. She tried talking to Kathren and me, but we wouldn’t reply back. Only the other girl would talk with her. It had been so long since I’ve heard voices.

The other girls didn’t just leave the room. They both died the same time. Two girls had never died the same time before. The other girl who smiled a lot got herself killed because of how much she cared for her friend. The man walked in the room and took the smiling girls’ friend. We all gathered by the door and listened to her screams. The girl who always smiled wasn’t smiling, but crying. She wanted to help her friends. Her friend screamed for help. The girl stood and smiled. Then she opened the door and ran out to stop the man. The door closed behind her. All we heard were the girl yelling at the man. Then her yells came to a silent end. This was the beginning of something new.

Now it’s just me and Sarah. It’s been a long time since the man came in and took the girls. He didn’t come into room on schedule. I’ve been in the room so long that I’ve memorized when the man would come in, and which man would come. I’ve had a lot of time to think, to think about my family and friends. I missed them so much. Everyone’s face and voice is slipping out of my mind. I’m slowly forgetting everyone I knew. The only person I can truly remember is Kathren. She will never leave my heart. She is stuck there as if I glued her there. Then, my thoughts are suddenly interrupted.

The man who kidnapped Sarah and me walked in. He grabbed both of are arms and dragged us away. We didn’t scream. It had been so long since we’ve spoken that it feels like we’ve forgotten how to scream. He dragged us into another room then took Sarah away. I knew that since he’s taken Sarah, I will be next in line to die.

I hear the noises. I hear a horrible piercing scream. It’s a voice I’ve never heard. I feel the warm tears flow down my face – or is it blood? I’m not sure. I move closer to the door. My body shakes and shivers. I see splashes of paint on the door. I get a closer look. It’s not paint.

I still hear voices. Screaming. Yelling. Shouting. They all differ but I can’t tell the difference. I hear cries of pain. It’s still all of a sudden. I just hear a scratch on the floor going further…… and further. I stay near the door listening. It feels like years are passing by. After a long while I hear footsteps. Hard footsteps. They come closer….. and closer…… closer. The door flings open. I scream. The man walked in.

“Now my pretty time to go.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. He dragged me a long way. There were bodies of girls all over floor. They were everywhere. Mine will be one of those bodies soon. He stopped. “Now little doll, I’m sorry but your name is next on the list.”

I closed my eyes. I knew what was going to happen next. I wished I could just see my family, see Kathren and Sarah one more time. I knew I was going to die. I was wrong though.

I just waited for pain to fill me. Then I heard footsteps. The footstep were very loud though. They sound nothing like the men. I open my eyes. There were many police men pointing guns at the man who kidnapped me. I was relived. They were here to save me! Finally, I could go home. They arrested the man and put me on a plane back home.

I was greeted home by all my family and friends. It was a reunion full of tears. I was so glad I was home. Unfortunately, I was the only girl that was able to go home. The police talked to my parents and my parents told me many things.

I was told that I was the only girl who didn’t get killed. I was lucky. I was also told that I was taken to Brail, which was all the way in South America, in a cargo plane, then on a train. The men who kidnapped me were FBI’s Most Wanted in South America. They call themselves “Scar“. I have a feeling they named their group “Scar” because of the scars on their faces. The man who kidnapped me was Juliano Barossa. He was one of many who got hanged because they committed murder. In fact they committed 405 murders, and all were young girls around my age. I now have a strong opinion about death but I think “Scar” deserved death as a punishment.

The kidnapping has changed me. I’ve learned, but I’ve also lost my mind. I sit in my room staring at the wall with a face filled of fear. I can’t sleep without my screams waking up everyone in my house. I keep myself hidden from the world. I stay away from my friends. I don’t talk to anyone. I’m even afraid of my dad. I can’t go anywhere without someone by my side. I can’t even go to the bathroom without someone next to me. I go to school then I come back home to lock myself in my room.

My parents are afraid for me. They now are taking me to therapy. I’ve learned to let other people in, but I don’t think I could ever let another man in my life again. My father is already too much for me. Will I ever get married?

My name is Luciana Johnson now. I’m 28 years old now, married, and have children. You probably thought I would never marry. I found a man who I could let in. He was so sweet and kind to me even though he knew I wasn’t for friends.

He knew I was kidnapped when I was 14 years old, but he didn‘t know exactly what happened. He asked to her my story. I was very reluctant at first. Then I told him. He was shocked at my story. He told me I should write my experience in a book. I was very against the idea. Then he told me he wrote books every time something exciting or scary happens to him. He finally got the idea to work with me. I didn’t include every detail because I want some thing to be my secret and I want your imagination to open up, to think about how the people I met looked like, and why certain things happened. I tried to give the man enough to write a great story.

He came to my house everyday to help me write my story. I slowly fell in love with him. He never told me his name. Then after we finished he told me his name is Christopher Johnson. Two years later we got married and had 2 baby girls. I named them Kathren and Sarah. When they were old enough I showed them the story. The same exact story. Every word is the same.

I’m showing you the same story. I’m addressing my unknown fear I never thought would happen but did. The dreams still haunt me. The past is haunting the present. I’m still careful on the streets, but I try to live my life normal. I do it for Kathren and Sarah. I do it for my daughters and past friends who are still locked in my heart.

My hearts in chains. One chain is my family. Not just my husband and daughters, but my mother and father who still protect me and worry about me. Their chain wraps around my the outside of my heart. My friends Kathren and Sarah also have chains on my heart. I think their chain is the longest. Then Juliano Barossa has chains on my heart. His chain is the thickest and covers a huge part of my heart. Then you have a chain on my heart. You have a chain because you are reading my story. You are experiencing my life in your mind.



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on Jan. 18 2014 at 8:41 pm
LordHelen SILVER, Lompoc, California
9 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is the time you will never get back and tomorrow is the next yesterday."

This is a great prologue. It did what most prologues are meant to do-grabbed my attention. Some prologues give backgrounds. But this one makes me want to see more of you're writing. Bravo.