Akira is the one I can tell all of my secrets to! She’s the one who always feel sorry for me, which I really don’t like. It’s like I know she doesn’t mean to do it, but it gets annoying. She comes from a very wealthy family and has billions and billions of friends. People think that she is very popular and want to be around her twenty-four seven. But when she is with me she is annoyingly fun. She is fourteen years old, just like me. We are almost spitting images of each other. She is also very pretty, she is just like me. She comes from the same place I came from—Puerto Rico. She also has a smooth skin tone—caramel brown. She has very pretty eyes, and a cool eye color—they are like a light brown and blond color. Her skin is as clear as shiny plate. She can really sing. Boys want her all the time, but she says she doesn’t have the time for them. My other friends Kyler and Bella are my best friends to, but I can trust them with careful stuff, not important stuff! I know somehow my information I give them will go out to the whole world on accident of course. But all in all, I love them equally. They’re all I have! The only people to me that I can call family.

What started out as an okay day, ended with yelling, tears, blood, and worst of all one person feeling hurt, and the other feeling content and satisfied. What did I do wrong mom? What did I do wrong dad? I don’t understand why they do what they do to me. It all seems to last days and the pain lasts a lifetime.
Last night I remember mom yelling at me and hitting me. The last thing I knew I was unconscious. I woke up on my bed with my jaw swollen, and the flavor of blood reeked in my mouth. I remember dad was just standing there watching all of this happen, laughing and drinking his “morning juice”. Why didn’t he have the guts to be a man and just not stand there and watch hoping that mommy wouldn’t kill me? And why won’t mommy stop beating me over things that she can’t even understand? I can honestly say that I am hurt. I am hurt and scared and so angry. Angry at dad for letting this happen and hitting me too. Angry at mom for doing what she does to me. Why does the one you love the most have to hurt you the most? I don’t want to tell on them and get them in trouble because they are bipolar. I know if I did that it would be wrong, but a part of me is telling the other part that I have to help myself. My mom and dad also abuse my sister and brother. My sister is troubled because of this. But she’s going to go into the army or navy or maybe even the marines. My brother is also troubled, he smokes and drinks around them and they don’t care. Why don’t they care? That is their son and daughter. I am their daughter. But for now all I know is that my name is Ava and I am the peasant child. No one wants me. People tell me “Ava, you are nothing and will never be anything”. Why do they like to put me down, I don’t know. I just sit there and let them say whatever it is they have to say. They are the adults, and they always tell me that I have to listen to what they have to say. They say it’s punishment, but a part of me says that it is abuse.
 

There are times when mom and dad are nice to me. It doesn’t last long, but it feels go for them to love me for a few hours and if I am lucky at least a day. I can hear my mom calling “Buenos días, niña, lo de anoche. Yo no estaba teniendo un buen día!”---Good morning baby girl, sorry about last night. I wasn’t having a good day!
Today in school, Kyler tried to help me with my issue. I yelled at her so we are not talking right now.
“I do not want your help”, I scream at her!
“Stop talking like that Ava! Why do you have to blame yourself for stuff?”
“What are you talking about. I don’t think that! Akira, just please stay out of it. If Jovah wanted you to be in this predicament, he would have put you in it! So butt out of my at home life, please!”
“Ava, now you know how strong I feel about child abu…..”
“Akira”, I screamed so loud everyone stopped and stared. “Mind your own dang buissiness! I don’t need you or your little emotions. I’m sick of you and I am sick of you feeling sorry for me. Get the hell out of my life and stay out. I never want to hear or see you again.”
“Ava you don’t mean that”, tears started to well in her eyes.
“No Akira, I really mean it! You go around school like your a nobody. You are like the most popular girl in the world! Your perfect! You have everything you ever wanted. You have food, you can eat anytime you want to! Best of all, you have a family”, I felt my hot tears come down my cheeks as I was screaming.

“Ava, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you making Akira cry? What did you say to her?” Bella screamed to me so loud I jumped.
“What do you mean? I don’t understand you”, although I knew good and well what was going on.
“Sure, whatever”, Bella was really getting annoyed.
“Fine, I’ll tell her I’m sorry!”
“No your going to do more than that. She wasn’t trying to hurt you, but she was trying to help you.”
“I already tried talking to her, the only thing she will do is ignore me, I’m sorry I was just mad. It’s been two weeks and she will not talk to me!”
“Okay, you know that she is sensitive, you don’t have to go around being a b*tch to people”, by now she was screaming.
“You gotta do what’s right!”

“Akira! Akira”, I was yelling across the hall at this point.
“What? I thought that you never wanted to speak, or talk to me ever again.”
“I was just really mad. I never meant to hurt your feelings.”
“I know you didn’t mean to but watch what you say around and to other people even if you were upset. What you said was very hurtful, I only want to help you.”
“Ok. Do you forgive me?”
“Yes! I forgive you; we finally can be best friends again!”
 

“Get your sloppy ass up”, is all I could hear. Mommy was actually screaming at the top of lungs. “What did I do?” My head hurts very badly right now. All I remember is that I was at the table eating the crumbs mommy had not wanted. Then she came home drunk.
“Mom, I’m sorry for whatever I just did, I really did not know what she was mad at me for.” All she kept saying was that I am a devil child and that I do not deserve to be looked at or even born. I was her very bad accident and that she should’ve killed me when she had the chance to---when I was in her womb. Mom wasn’t always like this. She used to be the best mom before she tried her first drugs from one of daddy’s friends. Dad was out of town that week. Mom was having a little trouble because dad wasn’t there to help—she was stressed. When I asked her what the powdery stuff was she had, she was straight honest with me. “It’s crack, do ya want some?” She was so high and out of it.
“You stupid child, her eyes were bloodshot red. You took my money didn’t you?”
“Mom, I’m sorry. I was just really hungry and you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you”, I knew instantly I said the wrong things. But then again when do I say the right things?
Next thing I knew, I was punched so hard, I fell of my chair. Mom punched me really hard in my stomach and in my eye. My vision is very blurry and my eyes are bleeding. This sharp pain in my ribs won’t go away. She also kicked me in my head. The last thing I remember is nothing—I blacked out after that.
 

I am so hungry, I’m waiting for mom to come home and it’s nine o’clock at night. I look over to my left and see that there are someone’s sneakers by the front door and they do not belong to this household. Who’s are they? Suddenly, a man comes out of the room and stares at me.
“Your mom wants you”, I see that his eyes are blood shot red and he smell like whiskey. Underneath the fat face he has, he is smirking.
“Okay, I’m coming”, right off the bat I know he’s lying. Mom’s not home yet and neither is dad. Mom will be back by morning and dad will be back in a few weeks. I’m scared and I don’t want this strange man to hurt me so I shuffle my feet over to his direction. The door closes very hard behind me.
“Lay down”, he demands!
“No, I scream trying to reach the door”, but he blocks me! I accidently slap him as my natural reaction. He slaps me back.
“I said lay the f*ck down.”
I do as I am told. I feel his weight on me a he is hurting me, he crushes me and I dream I am in my mom’s loving arms as I was when I was younger. This is lasting longer and longer.
“If you tell your mom about what just happened, I will kill the both of you! And that’s a promise. I can’t go to prison from your stupid little a**! No wonder why your mother doesn’t want you. She should just give you to me. There for we both will be happy.”
 

I am so happy when I see mom come back home. By then the man was gone! I am judging myself on whether or not to tell her about what happens. I’m sure she will understand! Won’t she?

“Akira! Akira! I’m going out! I’ll be right back in a few minutes.”
“Wait, mom I have to tell you something”, all of a sudden I am nervous to talk to her.

“Akira, what did I tell you about calling me mom? I told you to say ma’am? Mother is what children say to females who actually care about them. Now, do I care about you?”

“No ma’am! But ma’am, yesterday your friend was here and he touched me all over. He told me to get on top of him too! I was really scared and I tried to run away from him! He wouldn’t get off of me…….” suddenly I saw her charge at me with all of her strength!

“You little b*tch! How dare you sleep with my boyfriend? Just who the hell do you think you are?”

“Ma’am please? You’re hurting me! Stop”, I manage to get away from her. I quickly notice my mouth and nose is bleeding. I also have a large scratch on my cheek!
Two weeks later I go back to school. I haven’t eaten in like a week. I feel a sharp pain in my head, next thing I know is I am lying on the ground. People are all around me, someone is sticking a tube down my throat! I feel as if I can’t breathe! Why can’t I breathe? God, if your there, please kill me right now. I can’t go back to that house. Can you hear me? Can you hear me?, by this time I feel someone waking me up!

By the time I wake up, I feel covers all under and on top of me. A nurse walks in and asks me if I am ok.
“How are you feeling honey?”, the nurse has a very deep country accent.
“I’m fine, but why and how did I get here?”
“ Oh honey, you passed out on your way to class. Sweetie, it’s a good dandy thing that that nice young boy saw you fall down. You were all the way at the end of the school and the bell was going ring. We asked you when you woke up what happened and you said your mother hadn’t fed you in a while. Is that true?”
“No! I was crazy. Whatever I said about my mother wasn’t true! I was just hungry because I hadn’t eaten my lunch. I was tired too, I had a test to study for.”
“Would you like something to eat? They’ve been sticking tubes in you all night. I thought you might want to eat some real food!”

Suddenly I noticed something familiar.
“Hey, do you work at my school to?”, I knew she did but I wanted to make sure.
“Yes I do sweetie! I work as the head cafeteria lady.”, she was as proud as she wanted to be.
“Oh, I knew you looked familiar.” , I was pretty sure she felt the same way.
“ Well, you get some rest sweetie, you look like you had a rough night.”, said the lady who was very perky. “Oh, and by the way, my name is Tianna, but you can call me Tia.”
Next thing I knew, she was out the door in an instant. Ma’am came to pick me up about an hour after I woke up. She was acting all sweet and like she cared. When the nurses asked her if she wanted some alone time with me, she accepted it. She pinched me so hard that my skin bled. She also punched me in my head where it hurt the most at.

“Alright, get your lazy ass up, time to go home. Better yet, I might take over to Bill’s house. He said he would watch you for me. Isn’t he lovely?”, why was she doing this to me after all I told her that man did to me—her own flesh and blood.

“Ma’am, please just let me stay here. I will go to the library or over a friend’s house until you get back. Please, please don’t make me go with that man!” , I was crying to myself at this point. Hoping she wouldn’t make me go over to him.
“Listen to me, you are going wherever I tell you to go, do you understand?” , her face was a very bright red.

“yes ma’am”, this time I just gave in to her demands.