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Away From Tragedy

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Author's note: I didn't know much about what i was doing, but once it got started it was much like the snowball...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I didn't know much about what i was doing, but once it got started it was much like the snowball effect. i loved writing this piece.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 Next »

The Beginning--Intro

When I was little, I remember going to work with my mother. When she could, my mother took me to work with her. I remember being carted into one of a million yellow cabs, and staring out the window to look outside. The buildings were towering, and metallic--at that age I had almost thought them to be giants. The hustle and bustle of the city had awed me as well; dozens of handfuls of people walked the streets and sidewalks, some in crisp black suits and others in everyday clothes. A strong smell
This is just the beginning, and is a little slow, but just keep in there
of tense action and car exhaust filled the air.
My mother’s building was even more fantastic than any other, I had thought. It was tall, and perfect, with windows going up and down. Even better, the building was a twin, with an identical building right next to it. Inside the structure were dozens of people going about their everyday business. My mother had always nudged my back once we got inside, to hurry me towards the elevator. I remember the sheen of the elevator panel showing near 100 buttons, and the pant legs of the people before me.
My mother’s office was high up, and while everyone else was clearing out the elevator at lower levels, still, my mother and I journeyed upwards. The actual room was larger than my entire bedroom and was modernly styled.
The view was spectacular. You could see the entire cityscape, from the water to the rest of the city—a mass of gray against a clear light blue sky. Sometimes I would sit there, putting my little fingers on the glass, creating smudges on the previous immaculate windows.
Today is like those days.
Only, near 10 years have passed since my mother last took me to work with her, and the circumstances are very different. Today, I am bored, rather than awed. My mother’s building feels more like a prison, than a castle. I feel like I have invisible chains around my hands and feet, and my mother calmly nudges my back like she always used to do, to get me to walk towards the elevator.
I look back only to scowl at my mother, angry for more reasons than I can bear. As we walk into the elevator, so do another horde of people, and this time I can see more than pant legs. I cross my hands over my chest as my mother gently reaches over and punches the floor number. I look away. Then the sensation of vertigo lifts my body up, up, up, and I take a deep breath.
Corny elevator music fills the small, cramped space as ding! one by one people start to exit. Soon enough, my mother and I are nearly alone, and I hear a satisfying ding! as the elevator announces our level. My mother walks out, striding confidently forward; and I file behind. I just can’t shake the feeling of a prison warden directing me to my cell. She opens the door, and I walk in, seeing that not much has changed since my last visit.
On my mother’s desk is a picture of dad and I—the most recent family picture. I stand in the middle, beaming, while my father and mother both look like they’d rather be somewhere else. We don’t usually have normal family dynamics—ours are strained and tense.
“Stop frowning like that, Anna. Could you not look happy for once?” my mother says, settling down at the desk, not even taking a glance at me.
“Stop worrying, mother. You’re going to give yourself an ulcer.” I respond.
At this, she peeks a look at me behind her computer, her expression stern and reprimanding.
“Anna, I swear I will—“ she trails off, puffing out steam. I roll my eyes, unconcerned with my mother’s empty threats.
I walk towards the window, content that the view hasn’t changed a bit. I can see almost a 360 view; with my mother’s office being a corner. It is a bright, clear blue day, the sun not quite overhead. A handful of boats dot the water, and I if I squint, I can spot the Statue of Liberty.
I take a glance at a new addition: a bookcase. Most of the titles look dull and informative-the exact opposite of what I wanted. I glance over at one book, The Magician’s Nephew, by C.S. Lewis. I look back at my mom, my hand grasping the book.
“Really?” I ask, wondering why she would have a children’s novel in a collection of non-fiction and ultimately boring books.
“I had one of my coworkers get it for me. I thought you should do something other than stare at the wall.” She answered. She was touchy today, her mood not much better than my own. She refused to look at me, her fingers typing furiously at the keyboard. I scowled.
Reluctantly I sat down by the wall, neglecting the comfortable chairs at what I hoped, was another act of spite. My mother didn’t even notice.
I flipped open the book, settling on the first page.

* * *
“Is the book o.k.?” my mother asked me.
“Whatever.” I replied, still reading.
“Well, what would you like for lunch? It’s about that time.”
“I don’t care.” I said.
I see my mother staring at me from the corner of her eye. A muscle in her jaw twitches. The T.V. drones on in the background—the news is on—my mother had adamantly said no to any other station. I absolutely despised the news.
I take one look at her, her eyes threatening to bulge out of her skull, her mouth pursed in a fine line, her knuckles turning white from gripping the table too hard—and I decide that it isn’t enough. I decide that I want her completely off the edge, that one more act out of my whole entire life will finally push her off the deep end.
“Why are you looking at me like that?!” I spit out, my words dripping with malice. Her eyes bulge. I judged right.
“That’s IT!” she says, her hands lifting up and slamming the glass desktop. She abruptly stands up, and for a second I think that I have gone too far, that this is not what I wanted. But I let that feeling pass.
“You will get rid of this attitude problem of yours, before I get rid of it for you.” She hisses, her finger pointing angrily at me.
Not far enough, I think.
My hands are still posed around the book, ready to flip the other page. We are both fuming, fury bubbling up inside us both, like an electrical current that if about to rage out of control. I set down the book carefully and stand up too.
“And what pray tell, are you gonna do?” I hiss, narrowing my eyes, unbelieving my mother.
“I do and do for you! Yet you continue to act ungrateful! You always have an attitude, and I’ve had enough of it, Anna!”
I had heard it all before. I felt like my mother was reading off a script. I don’t answer, content to let my mother brew and steam right on.
“Why must you be so ill all the time?”
“Ill?! How would you know? You’re never there! You’re never home! You and dad, it’s always work, work, work, with you two!” I blurt out, unsatisfied.
“I work for you!” she says. “So you can have everything you want. So you can have a good life!”
“Oh, you can just—“ I start to say. I was just about to tell her where she could stuff her “good life”.
In the corner of my eye I can see the outline of a plane getting bigger fast. It’s aiming right towards us, with no intention of stopping. I scream, a shrill sound that pours my mouth in a terrified shriek. I lift my hand up, and point towards the window. The plane is angled towards a couple levels below us.
It seems like everything goes in slow motion.
My mother whips around, slowly, ever so slowly, towards the window. I can see her eyes widen and her mouth opening for a scream. I start to hear the screams of others below and above us, a collective sound of fright.
I watch the plane plummet towards us.
It’s not going to stop, I think.
My mother’s head whips back to me, and her mouth opens and she says something indistinct. Yet I can’t hear her, I can’t hear anything except millions of screams.
The plane crashes below us, the impact sweeping me off my feet. The room shakes and appliances crash and break. Clouds of smoke and fire envelope outside the windows. We both fall down, my head hits hard on the floor.
My vision starts to fade away, the edges diminish to black, and soon enough I am under, my entire body going slack and my mind far away from this place. I am falling away from this disaster. The last things I see are the windows, breaking and cracking into millions of little pieces, and fluttering down to the floor, like little glass birds, flying away from tragedy.
Chapters:   1 2 3 Next »


Join the Discussion

This book has 23 comments. Post your own now!

Ms. Creeper said...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Sup Sam. I'm using Jimmy's profile. So...... Where is that one story you entered for that contest? The hands stained red one. You should put that back up.
 
Mantisman630 said...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:48 am
Well hello, this is your twin's friend! I am quite impressed with your writing style and quite impressed on how differently the two of you set into putting on your works. This story has a great balance between reality and a dreamlike state. However, the story does feel a little rushed and short. If you can extend the writing itself, you might achieve further likings and further expression in the development of the Character. All in all though, very nice job and hope you will continue. Sa... (more »)
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:27 pm
Thanks! 
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 3:32 pm
I never planned on extending the story though! Too much work, not enough time, and I wrote this for school freshman year. It's more of a short story than a book, and I'm not sure that I'd ever post a full fledged book online anyway--I'd rather see it in print. Thanks for the feed back though! Much appreciated. If you have time check out my other book: Among the Stars. It's in romance books. I'm not one for writing (or reading for that matter) Romance but I'm more prou... (more »)
 
Mantisman630 replied...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 6:43 pm
My thing is, I don't feel like I could express a complete thought without lengthening my words into a giant novel. Write now, I'm personally tackling the writing of a book called, "Vectors of Corruption," it has already hit over 78,000 words and is still going up! It is only about half done and the first half is up on my page, but the other half will probably take me another year to finish. Anyway, good luck, post more!
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 10:02 pm
I've been instructed to tell you 3 things: liana will see u in math tomorrow. Liana says to stop stalking me. And to ask about the asian eagle??? Im quite confused.
 
Mantisman630 replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 5:02 pm
No stalking intended, as for the Asian Eagle, that is your twin's codename (or nickname) for Agent Liana Kabins in "Vectors of Corruption," she is still a fairly minor character within the book but it could bloom into more. Anyway, we've been calling her that slowly more and more as a nickname in school as well.
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 6:10 pm
Oh, oh, that's harsh. She gets a nickname and I'm just the nameless wonder? I think it's only fair that if she's in your book as a minor character then I should be in your book as a major character. And uh, Liana is an eagle? I think that's a slight misnomer. I think the Asian sparrow or the Asian Hummingbird would be more fitting. haha
 
Mantisman630 replied...
Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:06 pm
No one exactly took the twin into account when someone was writing the book. And Asian Eagle stays...sparrow is too weak...hummingbird is too fast.
 
Mantisman630 said...
Jan. 2, 2013 at 1:44 am
Well hi, this is a friend of your twin! To say the least, I am quite impressed with your writing, it is pretty well balanced by bouncing between reality and an almost dreamlike state. Unfortunately, the story seem a bit short...if it can be lengthened and further described, you could pump out a full fledged novel...You have the perfect exposition and resolution, if you can implement a more intense sense of rising action to the climax, the book can only end positively. Anyway, good job and salu... (more »)
 
Mary_S. said...
May 2, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I finally found it! :)

Well, I do really like this, and you have an excellent writing style, but there were kind of a lot of typos, mostly in the first chapter. They were mostly little things, though, because I can't even remember them off the top of my head, and I'm a grammar freak! ^_^ You're a great writer, and I really hope you don't ever stop!

 
TheGoodTwin replied...
May 2, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Hahaha, ya, i know. Sorry about that. Thanks for commenting!
 
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 5:14 pm
good story  i especially like your writing style  could you please check out and comment on my story Manso's Shame  i would appreciate the feedback
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Thank You. 

And i will. 

 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 26, 2011 at 8:51 pm

Where is your story??? 

I can't find it

 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 12:16 am
nvrm. found it. 
 
rainbowwaffles said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 3:17 pm

I really liked this! :) I think your writing style is great, and your imagery is really good.

I'm not sure if I would consider it a novel, though, probably more a short story. You should also check your punctuation regarding the dialogue. I'm not sure what the relevance of the second chapter was, but it fit in nicely, anyway.

Keep writing! (Well, I don't mean continuing this, considering that ending was very final.)

If you have the chance, could you please check out my re... (more »)

 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Thank you so much!!!! That feels great, especially because one of my friends didn't like it much. :( 

Well thanks, and i tried to find your story but i could seem to find it. 

And yes, it is actually a short story, but short story wasn't an option to file it under. 

Just a random question: 

What did you like about it???

 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Oops! typo. i meant i couldn't find it
 
TheGoodTwin replied...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm
And just one final thing: the second chapter was supposed to be a flashback to a previous moment in her life, but i couldn't find the stupid italicize button. LOL
 

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