A Star is Born

February 15, 2011
By drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Summary:

Three friends start anew at the private academy in their town of Birchall, Connecticut, hoping for a better education for their artistic, musical selves. What they don't anticipate is the promise of love on the way to greatness. Follow the journey of a star being born in this tale of teenage romance and everything that comes with it.


drmstarlet21

A Star is Born


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This book has 14 comments.


on May. 21 2011 at 9:37 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

This is amazing! I love where you're going with this. Your writing is very realistic, and the dialogue believable. I can't wait till you post more. I really want to see what happens! And I've read other comments. Don't worry! I'm stuck in my novel as well. It's kind of annoying, since I kind of know where I want the story to go, but I need something to fill the space so that it doesn't seem like I'm jumping. Well, good luck on getting over that writer's block. And great job with what you have so far!

on Mar. 31 2011 at 7:42 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments

I'm stuck :( That is the main reason why I don't have more chapters up. I know where I want to go, but I am having trouble getting there. But I'm working on it. It's hard also because I have too little time and too many things I'm working on.

I have a new fantasy novel up called The Eldonian Legends. There are four chapters posted, only because I've had them written for a while. Anyway, it just went up, and has probably one view, so I would love it if you checked that out and let me know what you think! It's kind of weird...and takes place in the distant future...but eh, I like it :) Thanks!!


on Mar. 28 2011 at 4:02 pm
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments

When are ypu posting more chapters? I can't wait!

I have a new realistic fiction book up called It Was True Love (and it's verrry short, actually just a short story) if you want to check it out :)

Please upload more chapters soon!!!


on Feb. 27 2011 at 10:22 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments
Eh, I kind of like it :D It is making me wonder. The Fame does the same for me. Alliteration is probably my favorite...hmm...figurative language tool? Haha

on Feb. 26 2011 at 11:56 am
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments
Realistic fiction, I think it's number five today... and it's "The Formation". ha ha I know it's a lame title... it was kind of a last second decision, but I figure the sequel would be called "The Fame" and I've always been a fan of alliteration.  :)

on Feb. 26 2011 at 10:02 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments
Thank you all for reading and commenting! I would love it if you told your friends about my story :)

on Feb. 26 2011 at 9:14 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Nice, I completely agree with you! ;D

Oh, and which section is The Foundation in?


on Feb. 25 2011 at 7:42 pm
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments
Hmm... I'm not entirely sure about your rainbow waffles question :) I'm always bad at choosing user names, but I thought that rainbow waffles would taste... fruity. :D

on Feb. 25 2011 at 11:00 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Thank you so much! :D I'm glad it's interesting to you. This was relatively new when I posted it, and I am almost done with the first draft of the second chapter. Hopefully editing won't take too long!

Thank you for noticing, why yes they are...in a way. :) This will be better introduced in the chapters to come. That certainly is ironic; I'd love to check it out!

Just one question...how delicious are rainbow waffles, and what makes them the color of the rainbow? ;) wink wink


on Feb. 24 2011 at 9:33 pm
rainbowwaffles BRONZE, Stony Brook, New York
2 articles 0 photos 89 comments

I love this story so far! I really liked the opening paragraph, and I think the third person to first person transition is great! I didn't really find any grammatical or punctuational errors... And I love your writing style, it never gets dull. I can't wait to read more!

So, are Noella, Roxana, and Camille in a band? I have a novel up about a band of teenaged girls as well, ironically. :) It's called The Formation if you wanna check it out and lend me some advice.


on Feb. 21 2011 at 11:00 am
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Thanks for the criticism, it was very constructive! I completely agree with everything, now that I think about it.

I definitely need to work on that habit.

You don't need to apologize. I seriously am happy with anything you have to say, even if someone says it's awful, because that will just motivate me to do better. I really appreciate your efforts to help my story, and I'll start editing as soon as I can. I began this pretty recently and haven't had much time to edit a lot, but I'll try to put your suggestions to use, along with finishing the second chapter. Thanks again! You rock:)


on Feb. 20 2011 at 9:57 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

I know how much every comment will mean to you on this book, so I'll do my very best to critique. Please don't take any of the criticism personally, though! 

Your first sentence isn't quite intriguing. Instead of directly mentioning the city/town 'Birchall, Connecticut' I think it will flow better if you manage to pop it in discreetly elsewhere. 'She was sitting alone in the cafeteria, sketching with a lump of charcoal.' Don't put too much description on unimportant details, like the table. 'She was dressed nice - tall grey Uggs over black leggings....' might work better. 

Ooh, I like that second paragraph a lot. I totally wasn't expecting it - which is good. 

Alright - so make sure you 'show' the reader, instead of telling. I know, I have that habit sometimes too, but direct telling about characters' actions gets boring for the reader. 'Sighing, I fingered the worn cover open again to scrutinize that grand piano I'd just drawn.' 

Sorry if I'm picking out the slightest details. (I'm writing this a long as I go) You don't always have to put a 'she said / asked / teased' at the end of every quotation. Simply put in the action. 'Roxana blinked. 'Wow, haven't heard that nickname in a while!' She tossed the cherry pit back into her Ziploc.

I read the rest of the story. I love the plot so far, and I really believe you have talent. This is one of the few novels I've reviewed on Teen Ink that has proper punctation/grammar (I don't think I caught a spelling mistake at all!) and amazing description. I love this. Tell me when you submit more, and I'll be more than glad to continue reading!


on Feb. 18 2011 at 8:59 pm
drmstarlet21 GOLD, Matthews, North Carolina
13 articles 0 photos 76 comments
Thank you so much! That means a lot, especially since this is the first thing I have ever published. I'll try to get the next few chapters up as soon as I can!

Smarti said...
on Feb. 18 2011 at 6:05 pm
I loved this.  I like how you started it, and I can't wait for more!




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