I Can't Remember | Teen Ink

I Can't Remember

April 8, 2019
By Emotional_Mistake, Sylva, North Carolina
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Emotional_Mistake, Sylva, North Carolina
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Favorite Quote:
"I'm a sunflower a little funny. If I were a rose maybe you'd want me."
-I'm a sunflower.

(Song lyrics not a quote)


I walk into the High School. I look around. I try but I can’t remember a single thing about this school. I’m about to head into what I think is the front office hoping no one who knows me will see me. But just as I get to the door a girl walks up to me.

“Hey, I was wondering when you’d get back. I heard you fell and were in hospital. Sorry I didn’t visit, I tried but the doctors said you couldn’t talk.” I just stare at her. She’s blonde, about my height with a button looking nose. Her eyes are deep blue. The color of royal blue almost. She looks familiar but I just can’t really put a connection in my mind anywhere to her.

“Hey, are you ok? You’re kinda freaking me out.” She looks at me, concern and nervousness on her face. A woman walks up. She works here, I met her here I think…

“Hello Emily, How are you?” Emily stares at me for a few seconds then turns to the teacher. “I’m fine. I saw Daisy walk in and I missed her so I just talked to her.” The lady looks over at me and then turns to the girl.

“Yes well, I’m glad you’re getting reacquainted with Ms. Smith.” The lady smiles, but it never reaches her eyes. “Reacquainted….” She looks at me confusion plain in her tone and face.

“Come with me, Daisy. I’ll show you you’re assistant. You’ll remember them, they’re related to you. They’ll help you around the school. We put you in her classes even though she was originally an 8th grader.” I look up at her confused.

“But I thought I was a freshman?” She puts her hand at my back and guides me to what I think is the front office. “You are but we thought it would be a good idea to have someone familiar to help you here. So we tested her and she has a high enough IQ to be a freshman.” I look up at her. It clicks. She’s the counselor I met a few weeks ago while I was in the hospital.

“Now I know it will be hard at the beginning but I really think you’ll love it here.” We stop in front of a tall slender girl. She looks familiar.

“Hey, Daisy. I know it’s hard, but do you remember me?” I look closer to her. Then I see her eyes and it clicks.

“Lexie? That’s your name, right? You’re my cousin.” I smile at the memories. But then I remember that day.

“Yea. So you ready for school?” She smiles and I remember she’s younger than me.

“Wait you don’t even live here in Sylva so… I’m so confused.”

“I don’t really live here I’m just staying for the rest of the school year here with you and your family then going back home this summer. Kind of how last year I came and lived with you for a year.”  She winked and laughed.

I just shook my head. “So I’ll leave you two. But I’d like to see you both at lunch.” The counselor walks off.

 I look over at Lexie. “So this is where I went to school.”

“Yea and apparently you were pretty popular.” I look at her confused then see the people behind her all looking at me.

“Ummm they’re creeping me out.” Lexie just laughs and waves the people over to her.

“Lexie I really don’t think this is a good idea. I don’t know these people anymore.” Lexie just giggles and leaves.

“Lexie! I uh- Hi?” I look around trying hard to make connections in my head. They just stare at me.

Then “Hey daisy. We missed you. Geez, we thought you were going to be gone like the last time you got sick.” This came from a girl with brown hair and glasses. She’s about one or two inches taller than me. The girl Emily, was here staring at me.

“Um, Yea I’m back. Haha. I got to go catch up with my cousin.” I start to leave when a slim elven looking guy with short spiky like hair in a galaxy jacket hugs me. His eyes are grey almost like Lexie’s but a bit lighter, like liquid silver. “We missed ya. Health hasn’t been the same without you, Daisy.”

“Yea. I’m back now. Haha. No need for hugs.” I try not to freak out. My therapist said that my friends might try and hug me and stuff.

“DAISY!!! Your back!” Just then a girl runs up and practically jumps on me. I scream.

The author's comments:

In this chapter, you meet Daisy's boyfriend. The reason I make sure to point out his eyes are cold is because when I created Max he was supposed to be That guy. The one all the girls want to date and the perfect son. But he will have a dark side later on.

“LEXIE! Help.” I start trembling even though I try not to. Lexie comes up behind me and gets everyone to back off.

 “Just give her some space guys.” She turns to me and I look over her shoulder. Everyone in the whole lobby is looking at me. The teachers start surrounding me and a bell rings. None of the students move. 

“Jesus Christ! Move people. I know Daisy. She’s a really good friend.” I know that voice. But I don’t know his name.

“Jake, you’re not allowed near her. You of all people know that.” I hear Lexie arguing.

“Let him through Lexie. I don’t know the name but I do know his voice brings up some mixed emotions. Maybe if I saw him I’d know him.” Lexie looks at me and sighs. And lets a tall and sandy blonde hair guy though.

“Hey Daisy long time no see.” He smiles. His eyes are a dark green and he is dressed like he put his clothes on with his eyes closed. I know I don’t like him. He seems too cocky and arrogant.  I stare at him for about five more minutes and then the memories start flooding my head like a tidal wave.

“Lexie I remember him now. I want him gone you were right.” His cocky face crumbles and he just glares at me.

“Just as bitchy as you were then eh Daisy?” He smiles maliciously. And I see it. I remember the worst memory I have of him. And I immediately repress it. The doctors told me I have control over my amnesia. So if I don’t want to remember something I won’t.

“Shut up Jake. You’re the one who f*ed up.” Lexie says. Her anger rolling off her in waves. And as I see her I remember another memory of her. She has a black eye and Jake is on the ground. There’s a crowd of people around us and everyone is pointing.

“Don’t you ever come near her again? Don’t text her, call her, or even talk to her or about her.” Lexie screams this as she’s pulled back by teachers.

“Try all you want Lexie you can’t protect her forever. How are you going to stop me from being around her at school? You don’t even live here.” Jake says calmly smiling over at me.

“Hey you ok? It’s ok deep breathes.” I snap out of the memory and see a young woman standing in front of me. Lexie is still backing people away with the help of the teachers.

“Yea I’m fine. Just got a little overwhelmed is all.” I look up at the woman and smile a weak smile. I want to stand up but my legs feel like lead.

“Hey, do you need any help, Lexie?” I look over in my cousin’s direction and see a tall guy smiling at her. He’s wearing glasses and seems Hispanic.

“Actually yea. Can you go check on Daisy? She may need help getting up.” He looks over at me and his smile falters a bit. But he comes over.

“Hey, I don’t think you remember me. I’m Lexie’s boyfriend? Ethan?” He has green eyes with tiny gold slivers. His hair is all swiped to the side and his bangs hang in front of his left eye. He looks at me and fear crosses his eyes. Damn, what did I do to this guy that he’s scared of me?

“Hey Max, I’m glad you’re here. She’s over there you can go through.” I look over at Lexie again and see this cute jock looking guy walking towards me. His hair looks like he just rolled out of bed and didn’t even think about his hair. But it was cute looking on him. His eyes are purple. He is dressed like a jock would be but he smells like the forest.

“Hey princess, I know you may not remember me, but you and I are dating…?” He leaves it hanging in the air leaving me an option. But when I hear the pet name princess my memories of him come back in a snap.

“Max! Omg I missed you.” I throw my arms around him even though I’m still trembling. I hug him and breathe in his scent and the familiarity of it is too much and I start to cry.

“Hey shhhh, shhhh. I’m here, I’m here now. Its ok, everything is going to be okay.” He says this as he hugs me back. Problem is I couldn’t see his face, I didn’t know that while his words were sweet, his eyes were cold.

The author's comments:

In this chapter, there are a lot of medical things. And my friends have asked me how I know what some of the things in this are and I will say I know from experience.

I’m in the nurse’s office. My cousin is standing guard outside the door with her boyfriend. Max is sitting in a rolly chair and is braiding my hair. My mom has been called and is on her way.

“You loved having your hair this way. You said you felt like Katniss Everdeen. I loved it because of how the light would catch it sometimes it looked like your hair was braided with fire.” He sighs as he finishes and ties it. He then rolls around and sits in front of me.

“How did you learn to do that?” I ask twirling the end of the braid in my hair. He’s right it does look like fire sometimes. I remember my mom telling me my hair is dirty blonde but something in the water slowly dyed it and highlighted it with copper colors.

“I learned because I’d always watch you braid your hair. You looked like a princess, all you needed was a silver crown.” He smiles at me. The door to the office opens and my mom walks in. She looks worried but her face relaxes when she sees me with Max.

“Hello, Maxwell. Nice to see you.” Max winces a bit dramatically. My mom is the only person I know that calls Max by his full name. Even my dad after he got over the formalities called him son and Max.

“Hey Mrs. Smith, you keep getting younger and younger every time I see you.” He gets up and gives her a hug. My mom blushes and looks over at me and winks.

“So loves I’ve talked with your stepfather and we both agreed that we could work out doing homeschooling. Now you’ll start next week as soon as the papers are filled and signed and everything.” She smiles and hands me three different pamphlets.

“Mom, I’m not doing homeschooling. Yes I know today’s panic attack may have freaked you out but the doctors said this is the best way to trigger my memories and I’ve already gained a few back today.” Is my voice is off? I can’t ever tell with myself anymore. Ever since that day everyone that knows what happened have looked at me like at any second I’m going to break. So I always think of what I say and what tone I say it in.

“Are you sure sweetie? I mean it’s really awesome your memories have started coming back but I don’t know if it’s okay for your mental health.” She looks at me worried, like as I said before that I’m going to break.

“I’m fine mom. I have to do this or I’ll never be able to function properly in society ever again.” I know that would help her agree with me. My mom doesn’t want me to be an outcast.

”Hmm, Okay but if something like this happens again I’m taking you home and getting you homeschooled right away.” She’s worried and I hate worrying her about me.

“Okay deal. And I’m sure I’ll be fine now I have Max.” I smile over at him. He smiles back and more memories of us hit me.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Smith Sir Maxwell the Brave will keep his beautiful princess safe.” I giggle and Max smiles again.

The counselor walks in and smiles then takes my mom out to talk with her. I’m still floating through the new memories I’ve gotten when I see a girl appear in the office window. Max sees her too and gets up to go talk with her.

I go back to the memory of Lexie and Jake and the party. I remember someone coming up to me and taking me to an ambulance that was waiting outside.

“What happened to her exactly? We need to know specifics.” This comes from an older paramedic. The other one a blonde haired guy with purple eyes. He looked around my age and I later learned that he was a trainee.

“Well, I-uh, well there was a fight. And she jumped in the middle. There was a flash of metal and sh-she was stabbed. The knife is still in he-her side.” I remember thinking foggily, “that poor guy.” And as I watch the scene in my mind I think it’s a little funny I was thinking poor guy when I was the one with a knife in my side.

“Did she come here with any friends that you know of? Anyone, she knows?” This is the younger guy speaking because the older one was inspecting the knife.

“Ummm ye-yea. Her cousin came. Apparently something ha-happened with he-her cur-current boyfriend and an ex. So sh-she called her cousin and sh-she came over from her house with her m-mom.” The guy who was speaking was trying his best not to look at my side.

“So her mom is here?” The younger guy looked… pissed?

“Sh-she was. But sh-she just dropped the oth-other girl off th-then left.” The guy then pointed toward a girl that was running out of the house over towards the ambulance.

“Hey, Ethan. Thanks for bringing her out here.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek then started walking over toward me, but stopped. She then turned and hurled in the bushes by the road.

“And I’m guessing you’re the cousin?” The young guy looked over at Lexie who was wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

“Yes. I’m Lexie. This guy that told you everything is Ethan.” The guy named Ethan wrapped his arm around her waist protectively.

“I’m Max. Short for Maxwell. Can you tell me what happened exactly here?” Lexie was about to answer when all of a sudden the older guy started shouting.

“Max! We need to get her to the hospital now! The knife is stuck in a major artery and it’s a curved blade so if we pull it out it’ll cut her kidney in half.” I remember looking over and seeing blood, just red all over.

“Okay. Lexie you and Ethan can you get a hold of her mother?” Lexie looked less than pleased at being told she’d have to stay behind but nodded yes and gave my left hand a squeeze.

“You’ll be alright little fox. You’ve gotten out of trickier situations.”  She then turned and walked back a few feet and pulled out her phone and started dialing.

“Alright Eddy, let’s get her to the hospital. I’ll sit in the back with her and give her some morphine to help with the pain.”

“Alright.” They wheeled me to the back, secured me and the guy named Eddy jumped out closed the back and started the truck.

“Okay let’s get you some painkillers.” Max put an IV in and set up a drip bag. He noticed the small but deep scratch in my temple.

“Eddy I’m going to wrap her head and stint that bleeding. How long till we get there?” He then grabbed some bandages and started to gently wrap my head.

“I don’t know it depends on the amount of traff- Holy hell!” Eddy slams on the breaks and I’m jarred and let out a squeal.

“Eddy?!?! What the hell are you doing?” Max looks into the front and goes pale.

The author's comments:

In this chapter, there are a lot of medical things. And my friends have asked me how I know what some of the things in this are and I will say I know from experience.

“We aren’t going to make it. She won’t make it. Eddy, I know I’m only a trainee, but I’ve seen this blade and how to remove it correctly. They are making us study these types of knives now because they are used more in gangs. We aren’t going to make it in time for surgery so we have to do it here.” My hand goes weakly to my right side, protecting it.

“N-no, I do-don’t want to d-die.” Max looks down at me and smiles. Eddy is at the back and they bring out more needles and scalpels.

“I’ll call a surgeon. I’ve been a part of things like this but I’ll need some guidance.” Eddy pulls out his cellphone and sets it up on some device. The surgeon’s voice sounds like it’s in the entire ambulance.

“Do we have any Dilaudid? Or Valium? It would really help if we have both.” Max searches the cabinets and brings out one vial.

“We only have Dilaudid.” He takes measurements and stabs a needle into my arm above the IV. My hand is still at my side. Max takes it and lays it back on my left side.

“Princess, I promise you won’t die. You’ll wake up and I’ll take you out to get a coffee. I know this really cool coffee shop.” He winks and I giggle weakly.

“This is not a way I ever imagined getting asked out.” My eyelids started getting heavy.

“No, don’t fall asleep. If you do then you can’t wake up again.” I force my eyelids open and keep my attention on him.

“Max, get forceps. I’m going to cut her open and when you’re ready you’ll pull the knife out and I’ll close the artery.” Max gets them and they get ready.

A few minutes later Max is at my side and his hands are wrapped around the knife. Eddy is standing and looking into my side from the small insertion he made.

“Ready Eddy? One, Two, Three!” Max pulls the knife out and Eddy does something. I’m guessing he stinted the bleeding. They stitch me back up and Eddy gets back in the front and starts moving with traffic which cleared up. 

“Th-thank you.” My hand flutters up and Max grabs it. We get to the hospital and I’m rolled to the back with Max right next to me. But something happens because I remember him looking over at my side and going pale again and then I black out.

“Hello???? Earth to Daisy? Daisy???” I hear a voice and I’m back in the office. Lexie’s in front of me snapping her fingers.

“Uhh yes?” Lexie just shakes her head and sighs.

“What am I going to do with you?” She laughs and l fully snap out of it.

“The principal said it was time for second. Let’s go.” Lexie walks ahead of me and Ethan and her walk hand in hand.

“Where’s Max?” Lexie turns and shrugs then continues walking and talking with her man.

“Did I hear my name called?” Someone hugs me from behind. I don’t freak because I know it’s him. I smile.

“I don’t think so. Ummm who are you exactly?” Lexie giggles up ahead. I knew she was eavesdropping. 

“Are you okay Princess?” He looks at me worried. I giggle and kiss him.

“So where exactly is my second and what is it?” I say I know I don’t have to speak loud for Lexie to hear me.

“It’s in the last building. And it’s cooking.” She smiles a dreamy smile for some reason.

“Why are you smiling like that?” She looks at me and her smile falters.

“Sorry, I was just remembering how last year for my birthday while I was living with you, you made me the best vanilla and buttercream cake ever” She smiles sadly. And I know why because I remember that cake. And I remember three days after that the accident happened at my great grannies.

“Was I any good? At cooking?” Lexie stops startled at my question, Max pauses, and even Ethan gives a little gasp.

“You were amazing. It was second nature to you. You never even had to think while cooking. You always doubted yourself and worked harder to get better. You had a gift love.” Lexie is still frozen but as Max tells me all this tears forms in her eyes.

“You told me once it was almost like breathing. You loved to cook and bake. It was your thing. It was second to your passion for reading and writing.” Lexie says this as Ethan hugs her.

“Come on. We better get to class. Today is cooking so maybe it’ll come back to you then.” Max takes my hand while Lexie wipes at her eyes and nose and we walk to the very last building.

“Here we are. The teacher already knows about your situation but I talked her into letting you into mine, Lexie, and Ethan’s cooking group. She didn’t give us a recipe or anything just said to make something sweet. And she said it would be ok if we all just sat back and let you get into your zone.” I’m nervous as I walk into the class and into the back with the kitchenette. It all looks familiar. But I don’t know….

“It’s okay love. You don’t have to do this.” Max says giving me a reassuring smile. I look over at that smile and my heart melts at the love and sweetness in that one smile…Sweet…? A memory comes up of me and Max in a cooking group making chocolate chip cookies. And it all comes back to me.

“I’ve got it. Max get me the utensils and ingredients for making our cookies.” My whole body reacts to the memory and I have no control. As I’m preheating the oven I look out the classroom window and see the girl Max went and talked to back at the office and she looks up at me and smiles….. There is something about her that is so familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on it.

“Wow. There exactly how you made them before.” This is from Lexie who is eating one of the many chocolate chip cookies I had made. I was currently feeding one to Max who was on the floor dramatically groaning and saying he was stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving.

“No moreeeeeee, I’m to stuffeddddddd. My coach is going to be mad at you because I died of being stuffed with the most delicious cookies ever!!!!!” I giggle and start to eat the cookie myself.

“Nooooo my cookies!!!!” Max jumps up and snatches it from my hand.

“You big baby! You just said you were stuffed. Now give me back my cookie.” I try to look severe but Max just giggles and kisses me.

“You’re too short to be scary.” The teacher smiles and just starts wrapping up the cookies. Yea I may have gone a little too crazy and made about two dozen cookies.

“I’m really sorry about the mess. I didn’t mean to use all of your ingredients either.” I say this as I start to help her.

“It’s fine darling. And quit trying to help. Here is your dozen. I’ll sell the rest at the annual bake sale.” She hands me a small bundle and pushes us all out of her class and shuts the door.

“Well, that was a nice way to tell us to get out.” Ethan says as he takes Lexie’s hand and starts walking down the hall.

“Where are we going now?” I ask as Max takes my hand.

“Lunch. Originally Lexie, Ethan, and I all had second lunch, but I asked to be switched to be with you.” He says as we walk into the cafeteria. We go into the bottom and go through the line and Max gets both our food.

“Where do we normally sit then?” Max and Lexie both look at each other. Ethan looks over at me and smiles kind of sadly.

“Well normally us three would sit upstairs in the lobby. You sat with us too but you had so many friends you would normally just walk around and hang out with all of them.” As Ethan tells me this a girl comes up to our group. Max tenses up beside me and I recognize her as the girl I saw in the office window and classroom window.

“Hey Max, Lexie, Ethan. So, Max, have you figured out where you’re sitting today? The seat beside me is free.” She smiles at my boyfriend. She looks around my size of 5’2 and is slim but not stick thin. Her hair is brown and is pulled back into a high ponytail. Her voice has a slight southern drawl and is so sugary sweet it’s sickening. I immediately don’t trust this girl. I tug on Max’s hand and we walk past the girl.

“Who is she?” I ask no one in particular. Max's face is relaxed but his body is still tense.

“That would be Janice Rose Luther. Max’s ex-girlfriend and ex-most popular girl in school.” This comes from Lexie her voice smug.

“Oh. Who’s most popular now?” Lexie laughs and Ethan just rolls his eyes.

“Ummm you are sweetheart. You may be a freshman but everyone knows who you are. But it’s not just that everyone actually likes you, well except Janice.” Lexie says this as we reach a table.

“You and I ended up dating a few days after her and I broke up. I had caught her cheating with my brother.” As Max says this about fourteen people run over to our table and sit down.

“Hey, Daisy. We heard you were back but we know you can’t always trust rumors.” This is from a slim girl with short mousy brown hair and a button nose.

“Yea, but now that you are we have TONS of tea to spill about the things that happened while you were away.” This is from a guy with short sandy blond hair and blue eyes.

“Well, it’s nice to see you all again. But let me run to the bathroom really quickly and you can fill me in.” I act calm and normal. I nod and Lexie and we go into the bathroom.

“Ok I have an idea of how I’m supposed to act but I need you to tell me what my normal personality is. I have a few memories popping up but I need a little more time. So who are these people and what is my relationship with them?” Lexie starts counting people off.

“Okay, the girl with short mousy brown hair is Ashlyn. She is a close friend of yours but you’re not besties. The guy with short sandy blond hair and bluish eyes is Teagan. You and he are best friends. Many people thought for a while you were dating but Teagan is gay. The girl with jet black hair and chocolate eyes is Distiny and you guys are really close even though you only met this year. I think that’s all you need to know. But if anyone I haven’t named talks to you I’ll ask them a question or something to give you a name.” As Lexie says the names a few memories pop up and I start to remember more.

“Okay, now what is my normal personality towards my friends?” I ask trying to think in my mind of how I used to act.

“Well, you joke but not too much. You’re really sweet to everyone unless someone ticks you off pretty bad. You have a sassy side but only to those who piss you off. You and Max are like Romeo and Juliet pretty much. I think that’s it.” She fixes my braid a bit and I breathe. As I head out the door all I can think is how that routine of putting masks on seems really familiar.

The bell rings and I pack up and join up with Max. We have third and fourth together so him and I spilt from Ethan and Lexie.

“Max, I have a question about that party.” He looks at me confused for a moment then it hits him and his face saddens.

“What is it, love?” He says this brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Well, what did you think of me? I mean I know we went for coffee after I got out then started dating but what made you think, That girl right there is who I want to date. I mean no offense I’m happy that we are together I’m just curious.” Max smiles ruefully

“You have always been curious at what I saw in you. Or still, see in you.” He sighs and looks over my shoulder deep in thought.

“You don’t have to answer. I was just wondering.” He shakes his hand and looks down at me lovingly.

“Nah. I want you to know…. When I saw your… condition my immediate reaction was she’s not going to make it. But something in me told that you would….” He’s looking over my shoulder thinking again.

“But then another thought came to me. And this thought was that you were the most beautiful looking girl I saw.”

“Wait how? I was bloody and I’m pretty sure I looked a mess.” I look at him and he locks his eyes with mine.

“A beautiful mess. What got me to really look at you was the fact you had a smile on your face. I was like why in the world does this girl, who has a knife in her side, smile? And I asked you. Do you remember your answer?” He looks at me smiling at the memory and I remember.

“I said if I died I didn’t want to leave frowning because that takes more work.” And I laughed a little at the craziness of it.

“Yea. And I don’t know after you said that I saw you as a warrior, a princess, a fighter. When we got to the hospital I told Eddy I’d be staying and working in the hospital until you got out. I made sure I’d always be near you. The first thing I told them to clean after you came out of surgery was your hair. There was so much blood… I couldn’t see the fire in it till after it dried and I was stunned. As soon as I walked into your room and saw this blonde fire hair girl sleeping so peacefully with a smile on her face I knew I was yours. And I wanted more than anything to protect you from ever being hurt by another guy again.”

Max was staring into my eyes and smiling with so much love. It would have been the sweetest moment and it was one of the sweetest things anyone had said to me and about me. But I wasn’t fully paying attention. I was looking over Max’s shoulder at a boy. He was the complete opposite of Max. He was like no one I’d ever seen. He had black hair the color of night he had an ivory skin color and was looking right at me. And the weird thing was I was drawn to him.

I look back at Max and I knew I missed something because he was staring at me expectantly.

“Ummm what?” I look at him nervously.

“I mean I know we’re young but I really think you the girl for me. Yes, you’re a freshman and I’m a junior but we both know I’m staying here in Sylva so why not?” I was totally lost at what he was saying

“Why not what?” He looks at me and laughs a little.

“Why don’t we get married?” I was shocked.

I was shocked. I mean yes Max and I have been together since summer but geez marriage? That’s a little too much right now. But Max has always subtly mentioned marriage. I mean he’s just that type of guy. He wants to be that American dream family life. He’s already told me he wants to get married someday and have at least two kids. One girl and one boy.

“Umm Max I’m only 15. And yes I do love you but you know I want to travel before settling down. That’s always been my dream. And I know you want to have your perf- Ow! Max, you’re squeezing my arm.” I look at Max and what I see in his eyes scares me. He’s so cold looking.

“You know I kind of figured that you’d say that.” He looks pissed.

“Max you’re hurting me let go.” I try to pull my arms away but he’s squeezing too tight.

“Max, I only just got back to school today. I think you're rushing it a little too much.” The halls had cleared out so Max and I were the only ones left.

“I don’t think I am. We’ve been together since summer. That seems enough time for me. And to be honest I don’t feel like waiting for any longer darling.” Max turns and let’s go of my arm. Only to grab my wrist. He drags me down the hall back from the way he came. As we go by the office a woman walks out of the door. Max sees her and slows down to look normal.

“Hey Ms. Adams, I’m going to drive Daisy over to Ingles really quick. Got grab her some Midol.” He squeezes my wrist a little bit and I nod along.

“Okay just don’t be too long. Does you third period teacher know?” She looks at me with sympathy.

“Yes. And we won’t” Max and I go out the door to his Porsche. He opens the passenger side and practically throws me in. He slams the door and the gets in on the driver’s side.

 “What the hell Max? Calm down. Jesus, just because I said I didn’t want to get married doesn’t me you have to be cruel.” My wrist is bruising already. I rub where there are already red marks.

“Calm Down? I don’t have to do anything! If you don’t agree to marry me it f*s up my whole plan!” He’s livid now.

He starts the car and takes off. We go through town and pass through backstreet. We go by Dillsboro and I don’t know where we are going until we go by huddle house and turn onto a dirt path.

“Get out. We need to talk.” He throws open his door, gets out and storms into his house.

I follow knowing that I can’t do anything else. I always loved his house. It was a light blue with a white porch. He built the swing near the end of summer last year because I said I had always wanted one when I was little. The yard was littered with trucks and cars that were being worked on.

I walk into the living room, the front screen door slammed behind me. Max was in the kitchen so I sat down on the couch. His house how I remember was like a second home to me. And when I sit down more memories come into my head. All of them happy.

He comes into the living room and stands in front of me.

“So no? You really won’t marry me?” He looks at me.

“I told you, Max, I’m too young. You’re too young. We are just kids in high school for chrissake! And you know that I planned on traveling and seeing the world before I settled down. I know that my memory will delay me in that but it’s getting a lot better. I thought you were okay with waiting, you even agreed before we were too young if I remember correctly.” I look at him keeping my voice even.

            It happens all of a sudden I have no time to react. His hand hits my face with a fury uncontrolled. My head snaps back by the force of the blow. My lip is bleeding and my face is stinging. I look up at Max through my tears and his face is as shocked as I’m feeling. I jump up and grab his keys of the coffee table and run out of the house I hear Max call my name but I don’t turn back.

            I pull into the school parking lot and after I park I call Lexie’s phone but she doesn’t pick up.

Damnit! What the f am I supposed to do! I barely know anyone in that school anymore, Lexie isn’t picking up! F!” I break down. I can’t help it as wave after wave of uncontrollable sobs rock my body.

            The car door opens and I flinch away expecting Max to have followed me in one of his other cars, but it’s that guy from the hallway.

            I look up and shock crosses his face. He immediately kneels by the door and gets his bag. He pulls out and an ice pack from his lunch sack. He presses it to my face gently.

            I smile at him nervously and take it from his hand and keep it to my face.

“What happened? And no lying, I saw what that guy was doing to you in the hall and I heard everything.” His face is set, but his eyes were a soft butterscotch gold.

“Well Max the guy from the hall got mad at me because I told him no. So we went to his house and he asked me again and I told him no. So he hit me. I ran out of the house with his keys and drove here.” I had stopped crying and was just sniffling. I know I probably looked like a mess and I became self-conscious. I ducked my head, well tried to but when I did pain shot up my jaw and I jerked my head back with a whimper.

            “Careful! Let me take you to the hospital. He may have broken something in your jaw when he hit you.”  I debate about it for minuet. I know somethings wrong so it would be smart to go to the hospital, but then the police and everyone would be dragged into it. But I look over at the guy and tell he’s not giving me much of a choice. I nod and get out of the car.

            He guides me by my elbow towards an old Ford truck. He gets me buckled in and jumps into the driver’s side.

            “Don’t worry I know a doctor at the hospital who can treat you. She won’t tell the police.” As we stop at a red light he turns and smiles at me warmly.

            “Why are you helping me? I mean I don’t even know who you are… wait do I?” I rack my brain trying to remember if I know him.

“No, we didn’t know each other before your accident. I knew of you and you knew of me but we weren’t close.” The light turns green and we turn into the hospital.

“Holy hell! Your Max’s half-brother! I thought you moved?” I was confused. Last time I saw him he was this awkward 8th grader.

“Well, my mom and I did for a little while. We moved to Durham for a month after the first semester started, but mom missed Max and her small town. So we moved back a few weeks ago.” We get out of the truck and I pause.

“You know I’ll be fine. I don’t want your mom to feel like this is her fault. I’m sure my jaw will heal up on its own.” I remember my time in the hospital after the party. Max had made sure his mom was my doctor. I remember the sadness in her eyes when she saw me. She and Max were close last summer but something happened and they never really connected like they used to.

 I had asked Max what had happened and he just shrugged it off. His mom tried to connect with him but he just pushed her away. But when he started dating me, and I started to go over there all the time she treated me as her own daughter. I know it would break her heart to see me like this and know Max did it.

“No it won’t. And you’re probably need stitches in your lip so come on. Trust me, mom has dealt with Max’s shenanigans before, this is the worst one yet though.” He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the entrance. All my worries disappear when he grabs my hand.



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