Thinks | Teen Ink

Thinks

April 26, 2018
By SavvyRose, Ellsworth, Wisconsin
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SavvyRose, Ellsworth, Wisconsin
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Favorite Quote:
"Throw me to the wolves and I'll come back leading the pack."


Author's note:

Hello there, I am Savannah a.k.a Savvy and I love tea and books. Don't forget Multi-Grain Cheerios!

    I don't know why I decided to go to the counseling group. I saw a poster on the walls of a classroom at school. 

    At least I'll have Topaz with me. She can get me through this. 

 

I walk through the shining glss doors to the counseling building at our local college. I'm in my senior year of high school, and you are required to take a tour of this place. 

 

Topz grabs my hand, "I'm right here. And remember, you don't have to talk." she let go of my hand and walked ahead to find the room.

 

We walk in and I notice right away the boy with the bruise. I think Topaz saw him to because because she was staring. 

 

She tugged on my shirt to follow her. Of course, Topaz being the social butterfly she is, sat us down right next to him.

 

The bruise is in the crease next to his eye and his starting to turn a dark purple. 

 

He looks startled, but doesn't say anything. I saw hime scootch over an dlean away slightly. 

 

Topaz doesn't go closer to him. I bet she can tell he's scared. "I'm Topaz. Who are you?"

 

That seemed to get his attention because he glanced up at us and told us his name. "Alex," he looked at me suspicously, "What's his name?" 

 

The question was directed at Topaz, but I answered, "Liam." I said it softly so he wouldn't feel threatened. 

 

His eyes are hesitant, but he's polite anyway. "Nice to meet you two." 

 

With that he turns his head to the front of the room. Waiting for the therapist. 

My day started at 3:26 AM. My father shook me awake, my scared eyes meeting his glaring ones.

"Why do you deserve sleep?" he yelled into my ear. I saw my mother weeping a few feet away from the broken down door.

Scratch marks rake down her face. At least she tried to sop the maniac I call Father.

He keeps rambling on and on about how he doesn't get sleep and it's apparently my fault.

My eyes zone out, but soon enough I'm dragged(unwillingly), back to reality. Father's knuckles connect with the edge of my eye.

I look up at him and I see the fake apology already welling up in his frown. I nod as he talks and my mother looks at me with pity and waves me out to the hallway when Father passes out.

"That group counseling thing at the college starts today," she says it slowly, as if I wouldn't understand if she talked at a normal pace, "I want you to go to it."

I swallow the anxiety in the back of my throat like bile. I just nod and don't argue because even though she doesn't stand up to my Father, she goes through the same thing.

Her shoulders sag like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. I don't know what weight it was because I still have an abusive and crazy Father. And that's her husband.



I arrived at the college way earlier than I needed to. I was the first kid there, and the therapist nowhere in sight.

No one filed into the classroom until about twenty minutes later. Than about thirty minutes after that, I met the people who'll be my best friends until death.

Literally.

Liam is a little scary. He's big. Also the most popular boy in school. Not to mention the quarterback.

I liked Topaz right away. She was laid back and gentle. I mean she's not as popular as Liam, but she's definitely up there. She is known for befriending people more towards my status.

She clearly was a leader. And interested in me. I could tell.

Anyway, I turned to the front of the circle, where the therapist will be sitting. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw that Topaz was staring off into space and Liam was talking animatedly about his day.

A man, about in his later twenties ran in. A bit of his coffee came out of the hole on the lid.

I smirked and heard Topaz outright laugh. I looked over at her still smiling. She noticed it, and grinned back.

Liam snorted and rolled his eyes and noticed our interaction. At first I thought he was about to wrestle me, but he broke into a smile and laughed too.

"Well, I suppose that you are my group." the therapist tried to look serious, but failed miserably.

"I guess so." Topaz replied. Her eyes screaming mischief.

He ignored her and went on, but a hint of a grin was on his face. "I am Mr. Claus. Yes, like Santa Claus. No I will not dress up like him for our Christmas session. Now, tell me your names and why you're here."

We were sitting by the boy, Alex, we all stare at the door as people file in. A man comes running in. turns out he's the therapist. Too bad. He's cute.

When he asked for someone to start, a girl eagerly began, "My name is Rosanna. I'm here to get closure for my problems. I probably shouldn't dive into that yet, though. I mean there are other people here." she stopped talking and flushed a little.

People speak up and soon enough Liam, Alex, and I are the last ones. "Hey, I'm Alex, I guess I'm here because I need help with the things going on in my life. And yeah..." he trails off.

"I'm Topaz," I pick up cheerfully, "I am here because I want to help support my friend and other people and maybe get some help of my own if I need it."

Liam hesitates before he talks, "Liam's the name, and I decided to come because sometimes we all need some help."

It was sweet really. He was helping to normalize the situation. I saw a few kids relax slightly. Good job Liam! I praise him silently.

The therapist babbles on about self-help. He must've asked a question because people start to discuss around me, but I can't tune in on the conversation for some reason.

I felt an elbow nudge me and was surprised that it was Alex and not Liam. I look up, and hear the words again.

I sigh gratefully.

"...triggered when my dog died. I felt like I was in an eternal sea of nothingness. Of course the divorce was affecting me greatly, but I didn't realize that until after Spots death." it was Rosanna.

"Topaz. Since you came here to help people why don't you give Rosanna here some advice." It was the therapist.

"Sure," I turn to look her in the eye, "I think that you need to ask yourself, why is the divorce affecting you as much as it is. This is just my personal opinion, but when two people don't love each other they shouldn't stay together. It's just something that happens. I'm sorry that it hurt you so much though."

When I was done talking, Rosanna looked a little upset. I didn't regret telling her what I did.

Both Liam and Alex were smirking. Well, Liam was more chuckling under his breathe. Whatever. I smile back at him to show him I knew he was just teasing.

I decided that it was my turn to share. "Now that I've helped someone out, I would like to share a little piece of my life," I glanced around and no one seemed to oppose, "I'm in foster care. I've never had a friend at a house neither has my big sister. Both of us were or are generally "popular", but no one knows what it's really like for us. Well, except my best friend Liam over here."

Liam blushed and I smirked. Oh well, he'll get over it. Alex seemed to be in deep thought. I wonder what he's thinking about.


"Are your parents still alive?" Rosanna asked.

"My mother is dead, and my dad's in jail for murder." my voice has ice in it and I know she didn't deserve that. She was just asking a simple question.

I looked at Topaz in shock when she told the group about her family. It made me almost want to speak up. It also made me angry. Angry at the people like our fathers. I decided that I was going to be her friend. If that meant being friends with scary Liam, than so be it.

I saw Liam grab her hand and I wondered if they were together.

I didn't think so because Topaz called him her best friend. They looked like strong friends not a couple.

I hope they won't mind me becoming friends with them. I think it's about time that I get some friends. Especially good ones, that will understand.

Topaz and I wait outside in the parking lot. We are waiting for Alex, who seems to be taking forever talking to Mr.Claus.

We talked on the way out and decided that we wanted to become friends with him. I know that out of this group, he's the only one who goes to our school. He's a year younger than us though.

Finally, he walks out the door. We stand up a little straighter and wave him over. it looked like he was heading over to us anyway.

I took the time to really look at him. Alex had a curly brown mop for hair and he stood a few inches taller than me. Although he was tall, he had some muscle to him. He looked similar to a football player who went here a yea ago. Ted I think his name was. His eyes were wide, but he wasn't close enough to tell what color his eyes are.

"Hey." he was in front of us now.

"Hi! We were wondering, and you can totally say no, if maybe you wanted to grab some pizza with us?" Topaz addressed him.

He looked relieved and nodded. "I walked so can I ride with you?" he pointed to my car.

"Of course." I tell him and smile. i hoped that I seemed welcoming and not too intimidating. I got the impression that he wasn't particularly fond of me.

To my surprise he smiled back and hopped in.

When he smiled his usually dull eyes are happy.

There hazel.

We left to go to the pizza place nearby, Papa's Pizzeria, and head in. "I'm starved." I confessed.

"Same." Liam and Alex replied in unison.

We all giggled a little and sat down in the booth farthest from the doors. My favorite. A corner booth.

I immediately sit cris-cross applesauce as soon as I sit. Alex looked at my legs and snorted.

"What?" I ask. My voice rose a little.

"Nothing. It's just my older brother used to do the same thing." He smiled like he was remembering something. The smile disappeared a second later.

I didn't pry, but Liam didn't seem to get the hint. "What happened to him?"

Alex swallowed, a little bit of his hair fell in front of his eyes. Cute. "He got to move away a year ago. Got in a car crash. He was is such a rush to leave, he forgot to say good bye."

He didn't cry. He just sat there frozen. Liam switched sides to sit next to him. Liam whispered something in his ear and side hugged him. Alex flinched, then put a little bit of his weight on him. He looked at peace until they pulled away from each other and Liam came back over.

A waitress came over and guess who it was? Freaking Rosanna.

When Rosanna walked up to our table, I almost lost it. The laughter bubbled up in the back of my throat, but I managed to suppress it. Topaz shot me a look that made me shut up.

"OMG. Topaz, hey, I wanted to say thank you for what you said in group. It actually helped me a lot. Actually i was mad at first, but now...Sorry. I'm babbling. I tend to do that when I'm nervous. Which is always, and-" She cut herself off.

Topaz smiled up at her, "Oh, I'm so glad that you're not angry. I hate it when people are mad at my brutality."

"You are extremely honest." Alex piped up.

Topaz threw him a glare, but he just grinned over at her.

I don't really know what to say so I just added, "True."

I'm really dreading going home, so thankfully we keep up conversation with Rosanna about group and life and just everything. "What do you want to eat?" she asks finally.

"One large pepperoni, please and thank you." Topaz said.

"And for drinks?"

"Hot tea," Topaz looks at us, "What do you want? I'm paying."

"A coke." I look over to Alex.

"Water." he says it quietly.

Rosanna nods and walks away to order our food. Topaz and I look over at Alex, "Hey man, I know we just met and everything, but why are you in the group with us?" I question him and Topaz nods along with me.

"My mother asked me to. She heard about it from a friends of hers. After this morning I'm not surprised she asked me to go." he shrugs.

"What happened this morning?" I ask.

Both of them were watching me intently, like maybe I would explode and run out crying. I hated it when people looked at me like that. "My dad...he woke me up really early."

They were confused, but soon they wouldn't be. "It was around 3 A.M., and he told me that I didn't deserve sleep. My mother was on the ground in the hallway, he hit her when she tried to keep him from breaking down my door. Then he hit me."

Thankfully, they weren't looking at me with pity. They just looked sad. "This probably won't help, but since we're sharing I might as well tell you," Liam spoke up, "My dad, he was in the military, and he has severe PTSD. He's also a drunk."

He didn't seem to want to elaborate, so I just left it at that.

Alex looked a little relieved that my family was as messed up as his. Honestly, I felt the same.

Out of both of us, I knew Topaz had it worst. While we were sharing I noticed that she seemed really uncomfortable. I understand why, and I wish she could've just had a normal life. I know she wishes the same for me.

It was time to go home. I really, really, didn't want to go. I had to though. "Do you guys need a ride home?" I asked Alex and Topaz.

They nodded and my gut was filled with relief. We thanked Rosanna and headed out.

To my surprise Topaz hopped into the back and Alex reluctantly moved into the front seat beside me.

Nobody seemed to want to talk so I turned the radio in and asked if they cared what I played. They both just shrugged. So I grabbed a random CD from the arm rest and popped it in.

Topaz asked if she could be dropped off first and I glanced back at her and then looked over at Alex. His eyes were probably as concerned as mine.

Even though I was worried, I did as she requested.

I turned the music off. "So you're into classical music?" Alex asked me and smirked.

"What? No!" I must've grabbed my grandma's CD on accident. I started to laugh.

He laughed along with me, and we were laughing at every little thing the other said.

A text appeared on my phone, it was from my grandma. She was wondering where I was. I told her I was on my way back, just had to drop a friend off first.

Soon our laughter died off and we were driving around the back roads, "Where do you live?" I asked.

Two miles straight. On the right." He told me.



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