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We Were On Our Way to Somewhere

ZealousHeart
We Were On Our Way to Somewhere
Summary: I’d visited Jed every week for the past few weeks and he seemed to be getting worse every time I saw him; more tubes, more medication, more doctors. There was always someone hovering over him, checking his vitals, but this time was different. This time there were no doctors or nurses just his parents and Anna and Decker. And, of course, there was Tyler. He was the only staple in Jed’s room beside his parents. When I walked into the room the all looked up at me. Their faces a mixture of emotions that all read into the same thing: This was his last day. Today Jed Macintyre was going to die.





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This book has 8 comments. Post your own now!

AutumnMoon said...
Sept. 2, 2014 at 10:14 am
I really liked this story so far. I feel like it was very depressing, but deat is, so it makes sense. I wasn't bored at all while I was reading this and I felt I could really relate to all of the characters. One thing that I noticed was when Laura and Hannaha were talkign on the phone, Laura says "I just did want to go" instead of saying that she didn't want to go. Other than this I think that this story can easily become something more. Great job!
 
ZealousHeart replied...
Sept. 2, 2014 at 8:35 pm
Thanks so much!  Typos always drive me crazy! Thanks for pointing it out.
 
August14 said...
Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:13 pm
I really enjoyed. But I agree with Winter Rose. You should not keep it depressing.  I can't wait for next chapters!
 
Love2Read72 replied...
Jun. 18, 2014 at 12:11 am
Kind of depressing, but really good.
 
judy7 replied...
Aug. 9, 2014 at 12:31 am
i agree with you love2read72
 
Z.V.Oksana said...
Jun. 14, 2014 at 12:51 pm
That first chapter was painful to read, not in a bad way, but in a way where your descriptions really made my heart hurt for the main character. WinterRose1976 said that the story was depressing and stayed that way, but I believe that's ok. That's how you wrote it and that's how you want it to be, depressing. Quite honestly, I enjoy sad stories. Your story is very well written, and I enjoy your writer's voice :) I was intruiged the whole time. In the first chapter, there were mul... (more »)
 
Liv.HarrisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 13, 2014 at 9:50 pm
I liked it a lot, but I agree with Winter Rose. Great start, but instead of keeping it depressing, maybe create an uplifting moment or two at the end to show that all hope isd not lost! Kind of like Insurgent. I hated that book, despite the ending though...lol -.- Keep writing! It's very interesting and creative. ;) 
 
WinterRose1976This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 13, 2014 at 7:09 pm
Okay so first off, I think your story is super absorbing and easy to follow. I enjoyed reading it and wish there were more chapters! There are a few things I don't care for - like how unlikable the main character is, the profanity, and how your story starts off as being incredibly depressing and stays that way. But that's just my opinion. I think your a terrific writer though, and have a knack for writing stories, so definitely keep at it! 4/5
 

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