Foster in, Foster out

“Shut up, I don’t want the world to know!” I yelled at Sienna punching her in the arm. “Ouch, fine. Damn that really hurt.” She whined rubbing her arm as she started up the car.
“So when did it happen?” Sienna asked not letting the conversation go. I paused for a moment and let the question linger in the air.

“Two weeks ago.” I said staring out the window.
“And you’re just now telling me!” She yelled as if she was hurt.
“Just be happy I told you at all.” I said shooting her a look. After that she just drove in silence. The only noise was our breathing.
As we rounded the corner by my house Sienna said, “I’m going to London tomorrow.” I looked at her and opened the car door. As I got out I said, “Now who’s holding back?” I closed the door and ran up to my room.

I stared up at the ceiling as the words to “King for a day” by Pierce the Veil screamed in my ears. Every since I moved to Niles, my life had started to fall apart. I started to lose sight of who I am, who I want to be. The only thing I could think about now was rather or not that was the last conversation I’d ever have with my best friend. “So that’s why I’m here.” I said closing my notebook and looking around at the class, the strangers I was now forced to call my “family.”

“No one wants you here!” I heard someone shout. I tried not to let it phase me; so I kept my head held high and walked back to my seat. It didn’t matter to me rather or not I was wanted here because I didn’t want to be there. I laid my head on the cold hard desk trying not to think about it. The harder I tried not to think about it, the faster the memories came flooding back. The only thing I could hear was the new guy from channel 16 repeatedly saying “tragic accident, plane 134 crashed killing all passengers aboard.

I could feel the tears now streaming down my face. I knew that there were about ten pairs of eyes on me. I couldn’t take it anymore; I stood up and ran out the class room. I sat on the side stairs of the H-shaped high school called Richmond High.

I placed my ear buds in my ears and leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. My music was my only get away. It was the one place where no one could tell me I was wrong. It was the one place where I was understood and loved for who I was. I felt as if I could stay here forever. Just me, the side stairs, and my music.

Just then an unwanted person interrupted my thoughts. I took my ear buds out and stared at him for a while.

“I didn’t know anyone else came here.” The guy said to me flipping his long brown hair out of his beautiful mocha colored eyes. His eyes were innocent but he had bad boy written all over him. After I didn’t reply he tried again, “Mind if I join you?” He asked coming closer. I shook my head letting him know that I didn’t care. I then scooted over so that he could sit down.

“My name is Ashton.” He said sitting next to me. I showed him a half smile and said, “Kayleigh but my friends call me Dreamz.”
“Is it because you’re going to make my dreams come true?” He said smiling. I giggled and said, “That was smooth!” Ashton nodded, “You should know Smooth is my middle name.” He said grinning. This time I laughed. Ashton and I sat there on the side stairs until the end of the day, just laughing and getting to know each other.

Once the last bell rang, Ashton and I both stood up at the same time.
“Well, it was nice talking to you.” Ashton said as he went down the stairs 2x2.
“You too!” I said waiting until he was at the bottom of the stairs.

I slowly walked outside. I walked slowly not because I was still in a daze, I walked slowly because I wasn’t needed nor wanted anywhere. My dad left my mom and me when I was three. Then when I was six years old my mom became an alcoholic and I was placed in foster care.

I was now living with a couple who had about five other foster kids who were all the same age as me. Six teenagers in the same house. Four boys and two girls. Was this couple crazy?

My social worker told me that I should try to be friendly and treat them as family. Usually I just smiled at her and said “Okay.” But this time I just snorted and said, “That’s never going to happen.”

I knew that the other five were somewhere close behind me but I didn’t really care. I just stayed on cloud nine. My life floating up in the sky. Up so high where no one could touch me. Up so high where I was accepted.

I finally got “home” or hell as I call it. The others walked in about 2 minutes after I did. Carl and Mimi called a house meeting. So we all sat huddled together in the living room.
“You guys have a new guest.” Mimi said excitedly. Everyone moaned and groaned.
“His name is Blaze.” Mimi continued.
“What kind of name is Blaze?” Mason “the wannabe model” called out.
“It’s the kind of name you are going to respect boy!” Carl yelled raising his hand at Mason.

The room fell silent and everyone stirred in their seats. Just then a car horn interrupted the glare Carl was giving Mason and Mimi rushed to the door. We all stared out the window as Blaze got out. To me, he looked as if he had just got out of juvy somewhere.

“Oh great, we have a gang banging serial rapist in here!” Mason screamed laughing and stepping away from Carl. I just stared out the window hoping this day could somehow get better.

“Everyone, this is Blaze.” Mimi said as Blaze walked into the living room. All of us gasped and took a step back. Blaze looked like one of those guys out of a movie.
“Sup.” Blaze said looking around the house.

“Malachi can you show Blaze up to his room?” Carl asked Malachi. Malachi nodded his head and started up the stairs. Blaze looked around one last time and then quickly followed Malachi up the stairs.

“So, what do you guys think?” Mimi asked looking around at the two of us left. We didn’t answer her. That’s how it always was around here. Someone asked a question and no one answered. Quiet rude don’t you think.

“I think he’s kinda cute.” I said looking down at my shoes. The color on my converse was fading.

“What was that?” Mimi asked smiling her always white, bright smile.
I said it again, a little louder this time.
“I think he’s kinda cute.” I said starting to giggle. My giggles turned into a laughing fit.
Mimi and Willow started to laugh with me and we all fell onto the couch. That was the first time in three years that I had laughed. It felt good. It felt as if I might actually be accepted for the first time in my life.
Carl took one more look at us and then made his way up the stairs with the rest of the guys.

A few minutes later I heard Jaylon ask Mimi what was for dinner. Mimi didn’t reply because she was on the phone. Jaylon looked at Mimi; when he couldn’t get her attention he turned to me.
“Do you know what’s for dinner?” He asked throwing himself on the couch next to me and Willow. I looked at him as if I had seen a ghost. That was the first time Jaylon had ever talked to me. We just made history.

“Pizza!” I said snapping out of my thoughts.
“Okay thanks…” He said getting up and running up the stairs. I didn’t mean to snap at him.
Willow sat next to me having a snorting fit.
“What?” I asked laughing.
“If only you saw the look on your face. It was priceless.” I nudged Willow in the arm. I think I just made a new best friend.

“You girls seem to be hitting it off.” Mimi said placing the phone on the cradle and smiling.
“Yeah, it seems so.” Willow said smiling at me and placing her head on my shoulder. “What did Jaylon want?” Mimi asked looking up the stairs where five seconds ago Jaylon stood. “He wanted to know what was for dinner.” I said rolling my eyes.
“I think he just wanted to get next to Kayleigh.” Mimi said jokingly.
“Now, everyone knows that is Willow’s future.” I said sarcastically. Willow made a gagging noise and once again the three of us laughed.

About 25 minutes later the pizza guy was at the door. Mimi grabbed the money and opened the door. The pizza guy stood at the door with 8 pizzas in his hand. “Wow, that’s a lot of pizza for 3.” He laughed. Mimi smiled. “We have 7 very hungry guys upstairs. I hope it’s enough.” Mimi paid the man and closed the door. She then turned to us and said, “Ladies will you go get the herd.” We giggled and went up the stairs.

“You knock.” Willow said to me as if she was afraid. I glared at her and took a deep breath as I knocked on the door. I could hear the laughter in the room come to a stop as someone on the inside got up to answer the door. I could hear Willow’s heart racing. It was almost louder than mine.

“Yes?” Ricky, The oldest of us asked as he opened the door. “It's time to eat.” Willow said right before she quickly raced down the stairs. Ricky looked at me questionably. I shrugged my shoulders and walked down the stairs.
“Well, are they coming or what?” Mimi asked as she finished setting the table. “I don’t know ask Willow.” I said smiling. Willow looked at me and then to Mimi. “They’ll be down anytime.”

Moments later we heard the guys coming down the stairs.
“I think she’s a cutie.” We heard Ricky say to the rest of the bunch. Mimi looked at Willow and I. We quickly pointed fingers at each other as if we were the ones they were talking about. Mimi snickered and we slowly lowered our fingers as the boys came into the kitchen. After everyone was seated Mimi said, “Dig in, but ladies first.” The guys groaned and the three of us got our pieces and let the guys fight over the rest. Over the course of our meal Willow and I kept stealing looks at each other and randomly start laughing. After about the third time that this happened one of the guys spoke up. It was Sonny; he was the ghetto white guy. “Okay I demand to know what’s going on.” He said slamming his cup down gently on the table trying not to laugh. The rest of the guys nodded.

“Yes do tell.” Carl said chiming in. Willow and I quickly got up and ran up the stairs safely locking ourselves in our room. Seconds later we could here footsteps coming after us. “Let us in.” Andre said as he pounded on the door. “You entering this room depends on who us is.” Willow said through the door. “It’s just me and Ricky.” Andre replied. I shot her a look. And she silently said uh oh and opened the door.

I opened up a magazine and started flipping through the pages. Willow sat next to me and pretended to be interested in it. The boys came closer. “Which one of us is it?” Ricky asked staring at the both of us.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Uh uh. Don’t try to play stupid. We know that one of you likes one of us. Or maybe both of you like the two of us.” Andre said. “So which one of us is it?” Ricky asked again. Their stares became too intense and Willow gave in. “Kayleigh thinks Ricky is hot.” She blurted out. I smacked her on the arm and said, “And she has dreams about Dre.” The guys looked at us as if we had just told them the sky was falling. They smiled and walked out the room. I walked after them. “That’s not fair.” I yelled down the hall right before their door closed. “What’s not fair?” Dre asks as he stands in front of the door. “You just basically dragged the information out of us and then after you heard what you already knew you didn’t say anything and just walked away.” I said and with that I too walked away just as they did. I closed our bedroom door and laid in my bed.
“What happened?” Willow asked. “Nothing. I’m just tired. See you in the morning.” I closed my eyes and went to sleep.


“Girls, time to wake up.” Mimi called up the stairs. I moaned and covered my ears with my pillow. Willow tried to shake me awake. “Kayleigh wake up” Willow screamed into my ear.
I sat up in my bed and looked at her. “Was that necessary?” I asked staring her down. “ You wouldn’t wake up, I had to do something.” She smiled. I threw my pillow at her and walked over to my closet. I didn’t really feel like going to school today but I got dressed anyway.

I ran down the stairs 2x2 and grabbed my bag. “Aren’t you going to eat breakfast?” Carl asked as I opened the door. I shook my head no and walked outside. The cold morning air felt good against my skin. The wind brushed my hair into my face but I wasn’t in a mood of perfection today.
“Hey!” I heard a voice call from behind me. At first I thought it was just one of the boys so I paid no attention and just kept walking. “Hey!” I heard the voice scream again. This time I stopped and slowly turned around. I saw a guy who looked my age. He had beautiful jet black hair and eyes that turned a mocha color in the sun. “Yes?” I said questionably. He ran to catch up to me and then asked, “Do you know where Richmond High is?” I nodded my head and continued to walk. “Follow me.” I said in a british accent. I saw him smile out the corner of my eye and he walked along side me. “I’m Christian.” He said after about 3 minutes of walking. “I’m Kayleigh.” I replied with a smile.

After about 15 minutes we were finally at the school. “I guess I’ll leave you now.” I said looking at no particular spot. He nodded his head and we both turned to walk our separate ways. I heard him turn around and ask, “Can I walk you home after school?” I smiled and said, “Sure.” And made my way to English 12 AP .


I walked into the classroom and made my way to the back of the room where I normally sit. Something was different about today. I had no idea what it was but something made today feel abnormal. We had 2 weeks left until graduation. 2 weeks until we would all go our separate ways. Maybe that’s what made today feel so different. The teacher walked into the classroom and the bell sounded. Soon after the class got silent, the teacher began to lecture, and the class began to sleep. Now the day started to feel normal. That’s usually how things went at this school. The teachers taught and no one listened. But some how everyone still seemed to pass with flying colors. I placed my head down on the desk and drifted off to sleep.
~After School~

I waited outside for Christian for 25 minutes and he didn’t show. So I decided to walk home by myself. It wasn’t really a big deal to me, I walked home by myself all the time. Today was packing day. One of the final days in the foster home that I had grew to love. Although it took me a long time to accept the house and the people living in it, I would really miss being there. I guess that is all part of growing up. I mean after all when you love something or someone you have to let them go at some point in time.

I hit the front porch and I felt the tears coming on. At that time I wished that I could have a do over. I wished that I hadn’t been so stubborn and accepted them earlier in time.

Final Goodbyes

The two weeks of anticipation had finally come to a closing. I looked around the house at the boxes filled and marked with names and the objects that rested beneath the closed flaps. I looked around at the sad faces that dragged their feet across the floor slowly gathering the rest of their items. Today felt like a funeral. Today felt as if something great ended way too soon. In the last two weeks of school I never saw Christian again and I never really figured out why he waited until the last two weeks to transfer schools. After all, I guess it didn’t really matter. Because as of 2:30 this morning as I lied awake in my bed I had decided to close that chapter of my life and forced myself to get ready to start all over.

Mimi and Carl called one last final family meeting and we all sat down in the living room. All of us with the same sad look on our faces. We all knew what they were about to say. We all went over their speech again and again in our heads trying not to see today coming. We all tried to pretend that this day wouldn’t happen. That maybe, just maybe if we hoped long and hard enough that it just wouldn’t happen.
Carl cleared his throat and everyone focused their attention on him. Willow and Andre held hands, and I laid my head on Ricky’s shoulder. I don’t think anyone was really prepared for what Mimi and Carl were about to say.

“Four years ago, Carl and I decided to take all of you in. It was the hardest decision we have ever had to make, but it was also the best decision we have made in our entire lives. Out of all the children we have fostered we loved you guys like our own.” Mimi said as tears slipped out of her eyes. “We watched you mature over the years. We strived to make you what we could never be. As you go off and all of you go your separate ways we hope that you never lose sight of what we taught you and what you have taught each other.” Carl said continuing the speech.
“We hope that you realize that blood or not you all are brothers and sisters. And we are all family. We hope that you guys don’t hesitate to call when you need us and stop by if you are ever in the neighborhood.” Mimi says wiping her eyes. “And lastly we hope that no matter what happens you guys will stick together. We love you and we hope for the best.” Carl says dismissing the meeting. As I looked around for the last and final time, I realized that being a foster doesn’t mean that you aren’t wanted. Being a foster just simply means that someone, somewhere, someday is going to love you and take you in. They are going to make you realize that no matter how abused, misused and how many times you fell that you can always pick yourself back up and continue on your journey of life.