Denial | Teen Ink

Denial

January 25, 2013
By Alexz, Battle Creek, Michigan
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Alexz, Battle Creek, Michigan
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“Class turn off your monitors, I have an announcement.”
Soon the room goes black and all you can see is the glows from the power buttons on the monitors until Mr. Dell turns the lights on. Mr. Dell is a tall, tan, skinny guy who loves to tell jokes and mess around. He can be hilarious but also has a serious side. Mr. Dell would probably be one of my favorite teachers.
“Today, and for a while, we will have a guest in the room. I’ll turn the floor over to him.”
“My name is Hunter and I’m going to be a student teacher in here. I want to be a teacher in technology. So throughout the remainder of the year I will be getting to know everyone of you and I’ll get to know how things work in here. So just act normal and you guys can get back to work.” Hunter is a broad guy and has black hair. He also has some facial hair and brown eyes.
We all turn our monitors back on and Mr. Dell turns the lights off.
“He goes to my church!” Abby tells me.
“That’s cool.” I reply.
“Yeah. He’s pretty cool I guess. Me and my sister are just nice to him.”
“Oh.”
We go on the remainder of the class talking about him and doing our work.
I am one of the smartest people in the school, even though I don’t feel like it. I have a 4.0 GPA and have been on the gold honor roll since 4th grade. I play volleyball, I’m a cheerleader, I play basketball, and I run track.
Abby is my best friend and has long brown hair and brown eyes. She has a 3.8 GPA and plays volleyball, is a cheerleader, plays basketball, and runs track too.
At the end of the hour Abby introduced me to him and he seemed pretty cool, just as she said. I went home and ended up finding Hunter on Facebook. Which begins the biggest, unexpected change in my life that no one could have ever predicted.

It’s Tuesday.
After school Hunter and I start talking on Facebook like usual.
Hunter: Hey, you know there’s a fair on Friday?
Bella: Yah, I know.
Hunter: You should come with me?
Bella: I don’t know if I can. One sec, let me ask.
Hunter: Ok.
I stand up from the dining room table and run upstairs.
“Hey mom, Hunter wants to know if I can go to the fair with him on Friday.”
“No.”
“But mom!”
“No, that’s a date and you know you’re not aloud to go on dates. I don’t even know this kid.”
“But I do. We have been talking for awhile and I know him really well.”
“Bella, no.” My mom says sternly.
“How old is he?”
“18, but we are just friends.” I say.
“Uhh.” My mom chuckles.
“Mom please!!” I argue.
“No, Bella!! He’s 18 and you’re 13, there’s no way you’re going to the fair with him!!”
“Mom, we are just friends! He’s just a student teacher and you’re acting like I’m in love with him or something!!”
“I said no Bella! No means no!”
“Ugh mom you’re making a big deal out of nothing!” I stomp downstairs and continue our conversation.

Bella: It’s so stupid! They’re acting like something’s going to happen.
Hunter: I’m guessing they said no?
Bella: Yah. And it’s just because you’re 18!
Hunter: I can understand that.
Bella: Well it’s ridiculous and I REALLY wanted to go!!
Hunter: Yeah. I wanted you to go too!
Bella: My parents are so difficult, I wish I could just go and die.
Hunter: Don’t say that.
Bella: Well it’s true!
Hunter: No, it’s not.
Bella: I don’t see the point in life anymore. I’m losing my best friends and nothing good is happening to me anymore and I’m done. I wonder if I just disappeared if anyone would miss me.
Hunter: I’m 100% sure a lot of people would.
Bella: I don’t know..
Hunter: Well I have to go and do homework. Don’t do anything stupid. I better see you in class tomorrow.
Bella: Ok..
Hunter: Promise?
Bella: I promise.

I always look forward to 4th hour now and in my opinion, it goes by so fast!. Hunter can make me smile and laugh even when I don’t want to. He has an irreplaceable personality! We have been talking all week and it’s Friday. The day of the fair, I really want to sneak out with him..
Bella: Hey.
Hunter:: Hey sweetie.
Bella: I’m really sorry I can’t go tonight.
Hunter: It’s okay.
Bella: No it’s not!
Hunter: Really, it is!
Bella: Have fun for me?
Hunter: I’ll try. No promises though. I’ll bring something back for you.
Bella: You don’t have to do that.
Hunter: Yeah I do. I can’t come back with nothing.
Bella: Yes you can.
Hunter: Listen Bella, I have a confession..
Bella: Yeah? What is it?
Hunter: I think I’m falling for you..
Bella: I have a confession too.
Hunter: And what is that?
Bella: I think I might be falling for you too.
Hunter: I promise I’ll be there to catch you!
Bella. Please don’t let me drop. Last time I fell no one caught me and now my heart is shattered into a million pieces.
Hunter: Well, I’m going to pick each one up and sew them all back together
Bella: :)
Hunter: Well I have to go..
Bella: Okay. :’( Have fun.
Hunter: I don’t know if I’ll be able to.
Bella: Crap I have to go too. My mom’s coming!
Hunter: Ok, bye. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!
Bella: Ok. Bye

“Bella, who are you talking to?” My mom says as she barges into my room.
“Um, no one.” I reply as I quickly close the chat Hunter and I were in, “Just one of my friends from school.”
“Ok. Well it’s time to eat so come downstairs.”
“I’m not hungry.” I lie, I’m starving!
“We know you’re upset but sometime you’ll understand. You need to come eat.”
“Ugh fine I’ll be there in a minute.”
She leaves my room and I shut my grey and black HP laptop and head downstairs. Man that was close, I think as I take a seat at the dark wood dining room table.
As soon as I finish eating I come back upstairs and reread through all of the messages with Hunter. Throughout the week we have made it so far and become so close. From just being strangers to being friends to saying that we are falling for each other. We are like the poem Romeo and Juliet. He’s like my prince, and treats me like a princess. I only wonder what he would’ve done if I would’ve gone to the fair with him..

Everyday I wait for him to walk through the door. I feel the whole room light up when he enters. Even on a bad day he puts a smile on my face when he comes in. Once we catch each other’s gaze I quickly look away at the floor and I feel myself blush. I hate how we have to hide how we feel for each other at school and in public in general.
I guess you can kind of say we are dating now, I mean he told me he loves me. When he told me that I felt my heart beat so fast it could’ve plopped right out of my chest. Just right there in the open, splattering all over my lime green and hot pink bed sheets. But for some reason, still pounding, getting louder and louder. The movement of my heart going up and down visible with some scars from past heartbreaks that have been sewed together by someone or not yet shattered once again. Some scars you could see multiple stitchings. The techniques varied a little, but not much for most, showing different people that attempted fixing my heart. Some pieces of her heart, however, were being held together by only one strand. Well, that’s what it looks like on the inside..
The days go by so slow besides fourth hour and when I talk to him after school. When we’re talking for one hour it only feels like ten minutes. He treats me like a princess and like he could possibly lose me. He has me wrapped around his finger. I would do anything for him! He knows that too and he doesn’t take advantage of it! We talk about our future together and I hope what we plan comes true! I give him all the power to crush me and I trust him not to.

“I want to see your phone” My mom scolds as she snatches my phone out of my hands.
“Mom! Why?”
“Yah that’s what I thought,” she mumbles as she reads stuff on my phone, “You need to stop talking to him.”
“No, mom! Why?”
“Because I said so!” She says as she gives my phone back.
Oh my goodness, I can’t stop talking to him! Not now! Not ever! I love him!!
I get on Facebook.

Hunter: Hey sweetie
Bella: Hey :(
Hunter: What’s wrong?
Bella: My parents found out I was talking to you and they told me I need to stop. :’(
Hunter: Oh.
Bella: Yah..
Hunter: Well then I guess this is it?
Bella: NO! I can’t stop talking to you!
Hunter: But your parents...
Bella: I don’t care about my parents! I love you and that’s all that matters! I’d rather be dead than be without you!!
Hunter: I told you to stop saying that. Death is a serious thing.
Bella: I know it’s a serious thing and I am serious! What about our future??
Hunter: We could always wait until you’re older and start talking again
Bella: I can barely get through the nights without you! How would I be able to get through five years??
Hunter: True and it hurts me not to talk to you too..
Bella: So that leaves one option. To keep talking.
Hunter: But I don’t want you to get in trouble.
Bella: I don’t care. I don’t want to stop talking to you.
Hunter: Well then how was your day?
Bella: It was good until I got home.
Hunter: I’m sorry..
Bella: It’s fine. How was yours?
Hunter: Pretty good besides I could only see the love of my life for one hour.
Bella: And who would that be?
Hunter: Well.. she has blonde hair, her eye color varies from a deep blue to a deep green. She’s beautiful, smart, unique, amazing, honest, caring, and kind.
Bella: I wonder who that could be?? I have this guy I really like too..
Hunter: Oh.. really?
Bella: Yeah. He’s handsome, he has black hair, brown eyes, he’s so darn cute, loving, caring, and the nicest person ever!!
Hunter: I wonder who that could be.. haha I. love you!
Bella: I love you too!
Hunter: Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to just run away together. No rules or laws to follow. Just the two of us.
Bella: That’d be amazing.
Hunter: And we can start a family. And we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone besides us.
Bella: I’d love that!
Hunter: Yah.
Bella: But they’d find us. And take you to jail.
Hunter: Who said they’d find us?
Bella: But I need school.
Hunter: Yah.. Hey you have school tomorrow you should probably head to bed.
Bella: But I don’t want to stop talking.
Hunter: Neither do I. I wish it could be like this forever.
Bella: Like what?
Hunter: Just me and you talking.
Bella: Yah I do too. But wishes don’t usually come true.
Hunter: Yah.. but sometimes they do.
Bella: If only my parents were chill about all of this and understood then that wish could come true.
Hunter: Yah I wish they were too.
Bella: I can’t live without you.
Hunter: I can’t either.



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