Chapter 5: "Riot" SolvingTravis
The good news: Sam is OK. The bad news: Sam is OK. The two of us have been at odds ever since we met, and we’re going to have to put that behind us.
“I have an idea for how we are going to open the stores,” I told Sam a few minutes after his near-death experience. “I did some reading on the security display, and, apparently, the riot gates have an emergency unlock, incase someone was inside the store and the security was incapacitated. However, that can only be unlocked from in the store itself, so--” Sam cut me off.
“So, Mr. Lecture Man who seems to be explaining how to break into a store, I see what you are trying to say. You’re telling me that we can’t get into the stores. I mean, come on, we only have a broken ski, a stick, some string, and whatever weapons the security department has. Face it Travis. We are doomed.”
WARNING: DO NOT READ ON IF YOU WISH TO GUESS TRAVIS’ PLAN
Travis’ plan actually worked pretty well. I know that you think that we used a bazooka to blow the riot gates to smithereens, but it wasn’t that. We actually used a crowbar (I know, a crowbar?) from the security weapons cabinet to punch a hole in the broken end of the ski. Then we tied one end of the string to the ski, and the other end to the stick, which was more of a skewer. Then, we headed up.
And by up, I mean out of the security room, not to heaven - we are (still) alive.
Back to me ( (:I know you all prefer me over Sam, that’s why I was in this chapter twice:) ). Anyway, we went to the first store we saw, which happened to be Burger King.
We first shoved the ski through the gate on one side. I chose left because it wasn’t “right” (get it?), but I knew that the buttons were on both sides. Using the stick, I swung the ski from side to side, waiting for it to hit the wall. After about two minutes of Sam moaning about how it wasn’t going to work, the ski finally hit the wall. Nothing happened. At this point, Sam was rolling on the floor crying, so could you do me a favor. Retroactively shout at him to SHUT UP!!!!! Thank you. Then, thank you reader for doing your voodoo magic to make the story go on, with a shuddering rumble, the gate started rising. I walked in, thinking about what would happen if the recipe for the WHOPPER® got out to the public. I turned around and saw a different button next to the ERGBE: the Emergency Riot Gate Button for Emergencies (I’m not kidding, that’s the official name). It read, “Insert DNA sample here.”
“I’m not a security guard,” I muttered. Then, I gasped.
The screen now read, “Do it now, even if you are not a security guard.” So, I placed a strand of my hair on the button, and then the screen said, “DNA accepted. All riot gates open.”
After a few minutes, Sam and I went down to the security room. The entire mall was covered in 590 feet of snow. Somehow the roof only had 3 feet of snow - something to do with heated plating - but for now we’re all ok. And that’s all we can ask for.