Beep! Beep! I slam my alarm clock grumbling. Ugh. Time for another day at school. Another day of being ostracized for being a bit shy and antisocial. So what if I don't like people? That doesn't mean you should mess with me because of it. But no matter how much I hate going to school I have to. Because it's not only me who suffers.
I pull on my dark blue jeans and dark blue v-neck shirt. I brush my teeth and do everything necessary to get ready. It takes me a minute to find my simple white
tennis shoes. I tend to just kick them off my feet the minute I get home and make it to my room. I check my appearance. Same icy blue eyes and honey highlighted brown hair. Everything checks out ok so I head out of my room.
Joseph is just coming down the stairs to my right as I walk down. He has his classic bed head hairstyle and his vest and jeans combo. His hair and eyes match mine perfectly which is to be expected since we're twins I guess. We both walk into the kitchen hoping mom was finished with breakfast because we were both hungry. Both of us were grumpy because it Monday which meant a whole week of torture. Joseph is as ostracized as I am. We ended up like this because of out personalities but we don't really care. It only hurts when they include Nathan and Tiffany, my two best friends. They often get crap just for socializing with me.
As soon as Joseph and I finished breakfast Mom ushered into the car talking about how late we were going to be. I shouldered my backpack dreading the moment we got to the school. It was only a five minute drive. A groan escaped me as the front of the school came into view with students streaming into it's entrance.
“See you tonight,” says Mom smiling. She mistakes my groan for just not wanting to go to school. I say bye but Joseph only grunts. Joseph and I had made a pact not to let her know what out fellow classmates thought of us. We got out of the car and walked up. Mom soon disappears.
Snickers and pointing follow us as we walk to the entrance. I bet there is another rumor going around that's been devised by the 'queen' of the school, Madison.
“Lyn!” I hear a very girly excited voice exclaim. I turn in time to see a pair of skinny tan arms wrap around my neck. A little higher was a head of perfect curly platinum blond hair.
“Don't kill her Tiff,” says a voice behind her. I look up into very clear forest green eyes. Eyes that I had had a crush on since fifth grade when I first met these two. Brown red hair swept across his face as he smiled at me. That smile always gave me butterflies.
“Hey Tiffany. Hey Nathan,” I grinned putting the whispers behind me. We walked through the door. Seeing them everyday almost made going to school worth it.
I noticed Joseph had an odd look on his face. He seemed to be fighting with something.
“You ok?” I ask concern scrunching up my face. He nods, smiling but it seems forced. The bell rings so I have no time to ask him further on the subject. We all hurry off to class. Joseph, Tiffany, and Nathan being lucky having first period together. I was all by myself in health class.
I walk to my desk to find it littered with post it notes. All of them say something like 'Go die you whore' or 'What the hell is your problem skank.” I wonder what devious lie Madison has implanted in the school this time. I pile the notes in my hand and dump them in the trash can. People watch carefully for my reaction but I keep an emotionless mask in place. They won't know if they hurt me or not.
“So this is the b**** who tried to make a move on Madison's man?” stage asks a person to my left. They are just loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough for me not to know who said it. I guess they want to see how I react but I show nothing.
Mrs. Brown walks in and starts class. All the whispering dies down. I sigh and drift off into thoughts about Joseph's weird behavior.
First period ends and so does second and third. None of those classes I have with anyone I like. What I get for taking advanced classes I guess. At least I fourth period with Tiffany. Although I absolutely hate choir. It's full of snotty girls who all want to prove they're the best singer in the class and are constantly trying to over-sing each other. Mrs. Tibbs is always getting mad at us for not working together and blending. She's fighting a losing battle.
Today she's getting very angry and is currently ranting at the sopranos for having too many voices sticking out and not even being on pitch. Tiff takes this chance to talk to me.
“Um, Lyn. I think it's best if we stop being friends for a bit,” she says avoiding my eyes. I gape at her. If I was expecting anything this was not it. Just this morning she was acting like nothing was wrong.
“What's wrong? Is someone bothering you?” I ask trying to keep control over my voice. She shakes her head.
“The only thing that's wrong is that you're holding me back. Madison has already told me if I stopped being friends with you she'd welcome me with open arms,” she says. She's still not looking me in the eye. I open my mouth to say something but she turns around completely. Mrs. Tibbs continues class trying to act like nothing happened. The entire time my eyes burn and I work to keep control.
After fourth I try to talk to Tiffany but she walks off and finds Madison. Madison turns her head towards me whispers something to Tiffany and they both walk off laughing, their blond heads bobbing. The burning in my eyes return and is only intensified when I see Nathan walk by like I don't exist and run up to Tiffany. They laugh and start holding hands. I feel as if the wind is knocked out of me.
I stop in the middle of the hallway and cause people to complain at me. I look around for Joseph but don't see him anywhere. Just when I needed him most. Confusion muddles my brain and I head into the library. I'm supposed to go to lunch but I don't feel very hungry right now. I tell myself that I'm not going to cry. Crying shows weakness.
Everyone in the library gives me a wide berth. Knowing how this school is everyone probably already knows I've been dumped by my friends. Now no one will ever dare to talk to me.
The rest of the day passes in a blur. Sixth period, the class I share with both Tiff and Nathan, was hell for me. They ignored me the entire time. Every time I tried talking to them they would suddenly turn or start talking to someone else. People began to laugh openly when they saw my failed attempts.
By the end of the day I wanted to go home and break down into Joseph's chest. Because no matter what happened I knew he would be there for me. However, when the final bell rang mercifully but I couldn't find Joseph anywhere. I decided I would talk to him whenever he got home. He sometimes went over to his friend's house. I liked him going there because he seemed happier every time he came home from there. It had only been two months since he had made this friend and I could already tell how much happier he was. Although it made me a bit worried when he said I wasn't allowed to meet this friend.
Mom would still be at work right now so I had to walk home. Halfway to my house a cherry red convertible slid up beside me.
“Hey there skank!” yells a snide voice. I look up to see Madison in her Hollister and Aeropostle clothing surrounded by her groupie clones. So Madison wants to get her laugh huh? I ignore her and just keep my head down the whole time.
“What? Your not crying are you? No one's gonna care! Even your own friends don't want you anymore! Wouldn't it be better if you just disappeared?” she calls out. I continue ignoring her but I speed up my walking. I can't do anything drastic or else she'll make my life even worse. However, she seems to have had her fun and with her and her friends laughs echoing. I keep my cool until I get inside my house. Then I slam the door and throw my backpack to the ground.
I go up the stairs and knock on Joseph's door but there's no answer. So he must be at his friend's place for sure. Instead I head to my room and sink into my bed. I don't know how long I sit there but I eventually fall asleep.
“Lyn,” says my Mom shaking me awakes. She sounds scared. I rub my eyes and stretch.
“What's up?” I ask. She looks scared too making me more alert. She hands me a note.
Sorry Lyn. Sorry Mom. I'm going to be gone for awhile. Don't know how long though. I have to do this. There are circumstances that you don't know about. Not even you Lyn. I'm sorry that things turned out this way. Don't look for me. Sorry.
My mind begins to race. Gone? Joseph's gone? The one person who said they'd be there for me? And all the emotion I had been holding suddenly comes out in gasping sobs. Why? Why would he leave? All these questions circle around my head. Mom is calling the cops in the other room. I just sit there.
“Honey it's going to be ok. They'll find him,” but her voice is broken and breathless with fear. I continue to cry. She rubs my back but eventually we're both hugging and crying together.
The doorbell rings and she goes to answer it rubbing her eyes. I fall back into my bed listening to the voices below. I don't know when but I eventually fall asleep.
I'm sitting on the floor and I realize I'm asleep but I'm perfectly aware of what's going on. I don't really feel asleep though and everything feels too real. I'm still in the fleece pajama pants and go green t-shirt I fell asleep in. My surroundings are endless dark. The black that seems like it will swallow you. I stumble around a bit calling out for someone but no one answers. A voice finally answers me and I sigh in relief. “Lyn,” says the voice behind me. I swing around and a pair of hands steady me. I look up into a pair of red eyes.
“Who are you?” I ask. I frown at easy-going smirk accentuated by edgy black hair. He's a pretty good looking guy in a rocker tee, black jeans, and plain black tennis shoes. His skin is unnaturally pale though, you can see his veins. Almost like an albino but his hair would be practically white then. I frown.
“What beautiful brown hair,” he says and lifts a lock of my hair lifting it to his face, “Lavender scented shampoo huh?” He's still smirking. I try to ignore the chills his touch gives me. Good or bad I'm not sure yet.
“I don't have time for this,” I say angrily. He laughs. This makes me angrier. How dare he laugh when I'm worried about never seeing my brother again. And considering he's most likely part of my subconscious he should know that he should be more considerate.
“Don't worry, you have plenty of time. Or at least I do,” he smiles. But it's one of those creepy smiles that doesn't touch his eyes at all, “Seriously could you siblings be any more different?” At this his smile gets wider.
I freeze at this, “Do you know where Joseph is?” I ask tentatively. He smiles.
“Maybe,” he says and starts walking off. I follow getting angrier with each step but he turns his head and grins. Then he takes off. I run after him determined to keep up and make him tell me where Joseph is.
Soon I can't run any longer. My body has always been weaker than others and has been cause for much grief. Joseph used to freak out if I did anything remotely physical, but now he's no longer there to freak out on me. I'm alone this time. The thoughts cause me to run even harder even though I know I'm pushing my limits to dangerous levels. I run until I have to fall down and even then I stretch toward him. I need my brother back. Nothing is right with him gone.
“Ah, that's no fun,” he says suddenly beside me. He kneels next to me, smirking, “And I thought you wanted your brother back?”
But I can't answer. Pain spikes through my entire torso. I can feel my throat constricting and my heart pumping much too hard. I've overdone it.
“Hey,” he says with a worried look. I glare at him but soon wince. I start to cough and that's when I really know it's getting bad. I look into my hand to find it spattered with blood. If possible the boy's face gets paler.
“Go to sleep,” he says and gently taps my forehead. The nice gesture surprises me but also pisses me off. I try to complain about finding out about my brother but I'm already falling asleep.