I'm used to writing short stories on romance and heartbreak, and I never used to add cursing to...
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I buried my head in my knees and held myself tighter. Tears descended unto the cold dirty tiled floor of Charlie’s bathroom. Everything in my life had sky-rocketed downward. The Charlie that I knew and fell in love with in the beginning had slowly begun to change. He faithfully started drinking and smoking more, even started taking ecstasy and acid. I did all I could to keep him away from a path of destruction. The more I tried to restrict him from the drugs and alcohol, the more frustrated he became, getting into verbal and physical fights with me in the process. Tears blurred my vision and crashed onto the toilet seat. For a while I tried my hardest to bottle up my emotions when it came to Charlie, but this time…I couldn’t any longer. My nose began to run, and my mascara dripped down the sides of my cheeks. I just sat there in that cramped, cold, lonely, lifeless bathroom, and allowed my emotions to take over. “No, no, no, NO!” I shouted. On the corner of the sink, there was a miniature snow globe glistening in the mirror’s reflection. My whimpering and crying halted as the shinny globe held my attention. Letting my mind go zoom through a frenzy of thoughts and memories of me and Charlie, rage seeped through my veins. I didn’t want to be apart of Charlie’s equation any more. As much as I loved him to death, I refused to allow him take control of my life. I still had a lot to offer the world; I determined my destiny. It broke my heart to know that Charlie was only holding me back when it came to working towards my dreams and goals, but…so be it. These thoughts made my blood boil and my breathing become irregular. It all happened so fast; I grabbed the snow globe in one swoop and chucked it into the hallway outside the bathroom. The globe broke into many miniscule tiny pieces, and the glitter stained the wooden-paneled floor. I triumphly gasped for breath, strands of my hair escaped my weak ponytail and crowed my face. “What the f*** are you doing?” Charlie shouted from his room, followed by a loud grunt. Stepping over the broken shards of glass, I headed straight towards his room. I stopped right at the foot of Charlie’s bed. “I’m so sick of this, Charles. This isn’t how I thought our relationship would turn out. You drain all of my f*in’ energy, and I won’t deal with your bullshit anymore. You’re slowly killing me inside.” Charlie remained silent. He was lying on his back, his arm covering his face. I anxiously waited for a response, but didn’t get any. “Charlie…Charlie…CHARLIE!” He grumbled. “SHUT THE HELL UP WOMAN, YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!” His voice boomed once again, rattling my soul. More tears streamed down my face, harder this time. “You know what, f*** you Charles. I’m done. Have a nice life.” I had reached my emotional limit. I deserved better than this; better than him. It’s sad to know how long it took for me to realize the truth. I guess I knew from the start what I was getting myself into, but I had labeled the experience as a one of a kind love to feel. If only I had knew better… I frantically reached for my jeans and t-shirt that had been scattered on the floor during our intense session hours before. “Wait…don’t go, Elle. Stay with me.” Charlie whispered. Tears soaked my shirt as I rushed to slip into my shoes. “Eliana…stay with me…please.” It took all of me to ignore these words for I knew they always had a hold on me in the past. No matter how intense our fights were, how heart shattering his harsh words were, I could never stay mad at him. He knew just what to say to keep me around; keep me trapped. I grabbed my coat and keys that were laying on top of his cupboard right next to his bottle of tequila. “Baby…don’t go. Please…I love you. No matter what, you know I’ll always love you; you know that.” By now, tears were streaming down my face and crashing unto the floor like raindrops. Grabbing my bag, I headed towards the door. On my way to the door, my leg felt stiff and trapped as if something was holding it back. When I turned around, I found Charlie clutching my leg like he was holding on to his dear life. He was barely hanging off the side of the bed. “Don’t leave me Elle. I don’t know what I’d do without you…I love you…” He looked into my eyes, his blood-shot eyes were glazed over and glaring with vulnerability. I yanked my leg out from his reach and turned my back on him which caused his to lose his balance and topple to the hard-wood floor. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. “Goodbye Charles.” Without turning back, I walked straight out that door and out into the dark night. The November cold stung my cheeks instantly. Zipping my jacket all the way up to my neck, I exhaled. The frigid, pre-winter cold made my teeth chatter. “Good bye Charles”, I whispered under my breath one last time. Motivated to get home, I scurried down the deserted street and didn’t stop until I had arrived home. Seconds after I had finally arrived at my apartment, I headed straight for my bed where I dozed off with my jacket and shoes on. That same night, I fell into a deep slumber, having the most vivid dream during the process. It was on a hot summer day and the sun was out and beautifully shinning over the lively Cleveland, Ohio City. It was during the afternoon that Charlie and I were laying on the beach, hand in hand, gazing out into the ocean’s horizon. Surprisingly, the beach was deserted, but made the moment more relaxing and special. I was laying my head on Charlie’s chest, hearing the melodic rhythm of his heartbeat. “This feels so good.” I whispered. “Mmmhmmm.” Charlie responded. He cradled me with his body and warmth, his presence causing me to melt into bliss. The hot summer breeze blowing in my face, moving strands of sweaty hair off my eyes, my feet were buried in the humid sand. Charlie gave me light kisses on my forehead as I drifted in and out of consciousness, the ecstasy already flowing through my veins like a virus. “I don’t ever want to move…” I slowly blurted, too weak to even communicate my words. Charlie responded by planting a kiss on my eyelid; his lips soft and gentle. Grasping me tighter, Charlie reached into the pocket of his cream colored shorts and pulled out a swisher. Lighting it, he tilted his head back and took a soulful long inhale, the smoke slowly rising out his mouth. “I think I’m falling in love with you, Elle”, he whispered in my ear. Too inhibited by the drugs flowing through my body, I just slightly smiled and shook me head. “Me…too…” Suddenly, I sat up in my bed. My cell phone was ringing off the hook on my desk right next to my bed. Determined to shut my ring tone off, I knocked over my lamp trying to locate my phone. Finally feeling the familiar round device, I put it to my ear. “Hello?” I answered my voice raspy and dry. “Hi Elle, it’s me, Kase.” I sighed with relief. “Oh, hey. What’s going on? Are you alright?” I looked at my digital clock on my dresser; it was four-thirty in the morning. What the hell? Who calls at the time? I was confused and disturbed out of my mind. “Yeah, I’m alright…but I don’t think you will be.” “wh-what? What are you talking about, Kase?” There was silence on her side of the phone. “Tell me! What’s going on?” Confusion blended in with my voice. “Well…I just got a call from Jayden. He said he just got off the phone with Charlie’s parents…” “…And so? What’s wrong with Charlie’s parents?” “…It isn’t his parents, Elle. It’s Charlie…” “What happened with Charlie?! Tell me!!” “…Jayden said he spoke with Charlie’s mother. She told him that she came home about two hours ago…she walked in his room to check on him…she said she…” “…She what? Spit it out Kase!” My heart was beating uncontrollably. I tried my best to stay calm, but failed. “…She said when she walked in his room…she found Charlie lying in his bed…he wasn’t breathing…” “What are you trying to say Kase?” “…Charlie’s dead, Elle. He overdosed on ecstasy and LSD…his mother found an empty bottle of liquor by his bed and a zip-lock-bag containing purple pills…” “No…no…no…” My cell slipped through my fingers and fell on the floor. I sat there in complete darkness, my lungs going into overtime trying to supply oxygen. There; in my room, I lay wide awake; the darkness swallowed me whole as I slipped into a deep slumber of unavoidable self-annihilation.