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Potty Wars 2
I run inside the house, and I smile with relief. Luckily, I have no homework, so I go to my favorite place in the world, my videogame collection! I have old games, new games, games that have never been opened, games that have been worn to the disk, games that are rated E and games that are rated T. I have games for the Wii, games for the Game Cube, and games for the Xbox. All of the Mario collection, and Sims, all at my figure, well game controller tips! As I scan through rows of videogames, and I come across a game I don’t remember purchasing. It is “Potty Wars 2,” and under it, it read, “It is so fun; it is like you’re in it!” Since I am not one to wonder, I rip open the plastic covering it, because if you saw a game called “Potty Wars 2” what would you do? You would play it; the name is just so tempting! I read the back, trying to get a better understanding of the darn thing. The rules say: Toilet fighters of the world unite! Toilets have taken over the world, and only you can stop them! You will get through 3 levels, to win! But beware- the rest is blotted out. I shrug, I guess it is safe, so I turn on the T.V., and slide in the disk. Before I press start, all the lights in my room shut off. I look over at my door, my mom wasn’t there, which is weird, she should be home by now. Then, like a black hole, the T.V. starts to pull things in. Unfortunately, one of those things includes me. I scream, grabbing my bed, but it is no use, my hands begin to slip. I hold on tighter, my knuckles becoming white, but hands probably couldn’t take any more, because, as if they had a mind of there own, they let go. I spiral toward the T.V. and brace myself for the worse. What surprises me is that I went through the T.V as if it is Jell-O. I sink through and let myself let go of conciseness.
As I finally wake up, my mind is fuzzy. I stand up; look up, and there, in big, red, bold letters is the word “Start.” I lift my hand, and it’s not skin, but pixels. As if this couldn’t get any worse, I look down to see I’m not wearing my clothes, but a green jumpsuit, and helmet, like the kind racecar dudes wear! There is nothing to climb up to the “Start”, but over to the left, I notice a small ladder. In my amazement, the ladder slides over to me, and expands. I pick up the latter, and steady it right under the “Start”. I start to climb, and the climb is longer than I expected. For about 5 minutes, I am just climbing. Finally get to the “Start,” button, and I slam it. The ladder disappears, and I start falling. It isn’t “falling to my death” falling, but more of an “an umbrella is strapped to my back” kind of falling. I hit the ground lightly, and stand up, brushing my pixelated clothes off. Over my head, “Level One” glows. I look around, and on the left side of the screen, a mob of dancing toilets hop towards me. Now, since I’m the smart person, I do the most logical thing, I scream, I mean, they are dancing toilets, who wouldn’t scream? A girl in a purple jumpsuit and helmet swings towards the enemies bravely on a toilet paper vine. With one shot of what seems to be a spitball gun, all of the terrifying potties are down. I freeze, mid-scream. I know this girl; she is my best friend, Sam. The toilet paper vine snaps, and she tumbles down. I rush to her, helping her up, and hugging her. She pushes me off, as she takes off her helmet. She smiles, and I say aloud, “I knew you didn’t transfer, but how did you get here?”
“Same as you, of course” she answers, grinding her teeth, “And I am TRYING to get out. I have been on level three for forever. Do you know how MIND-RACKING that get? I will go crazy if I don’t pass. Only three levels and you get unlimited lives, now let’s go on with the level.”
“Unlimited lives?” I frown, “Can’t be, there is something in the system that will monitor the lives given. I bet 100 lives at most.”
Sam rolls her eyes, obviously not impressed by my video gaming knowledge, “Well I’ve used up 99, so I hope you are wrong, let’s go.” She starts to walk off, and I choose the only choice; follow her.
I would like to say the first level was easy, but I can’t. I almost died for two of them. I’m about to faint, but the holy words, “Level Two” glows above our heads. And it was literally holy; the “L” in level was so beaten up it looked like an “I”. I step forward, and I wave Sam to come over, but she shakes her head. A store appears in front of me, and I jump back, with surprise and shock. “Not another challenge! What next, toilets invade the store, and take all the money?”
Sam shakes her head, “No dummy, and look at the store!” And that is exactly what I do. There is the weapon Sam has, a toilet paper sword, and a plumber. I glance at Sam for help, and she points up. I look, and on the right hand corner, I notice toilet paper.
“Sam, you want me to take a bathroom break?” I look at her incredulously.
Sam face palms, “No, the toilet paper is money, now go buy a weapon.” So I buy the spitball gun. The store disappears, and Sam rushes past me. Her pixel body made a whooshing as she flew past, a very weird sound for something like that.
She turns to me, and her eyes show me everything, panic. She stops abruptly; and the ugliest toilet steps out of the shadows! I shrink right behind Sam, and whisper, “What is that thing?”
“A toilet,” Sam says, standing her ground.
“Well, der!” I say, “But what the heck?!”
Sam charges. I hear her yell at me. “His weak spot is his hands!” She keeps on fighting, but before long, I notice that she needs backup. I take a deep breath, promising that from now one I will pee in the bushes, and charge. I know, sometimes I’m stupid.
“Three, two, one. Time for a flush!” I blast the metallic toilet square in the hand. He fell over, dead as a doormat. “That wasn’t hard at all!” I scratch my head, and Sam walks over.
“It’s not supposed to be difficult, it just gives you a small warm up for Level three.”
As if on cue, “Level Three” glows above my head. Sam grinds her teeth, “Watch out, they sneak up on you.” I have no idea what she is talking about, but I listen. This girl was a lot smarter than she may seem to be.
We hear a toilet flush, and then something, or somethings overflowing. Sam turns to me, and, in shock, I notice that her face is full of panic; something you do not see on her face. I gasp, “Help me!” as two enormous toilets emerge from the darkness, armed with weapon, like us. I coward behind my weapon as bravely as I could as the two humongous toilets grow closer. Then, out of nowhere, I hear a scream, right behind me. I turn right around, to find Sam on the ground, like she was shot by the toilet, and anger wields inside me. I rush to her, and kneel.
She looks at me; her eyes full of pain. “I guess there is a limit of lives, your right. But go and tell me I told you so.” She says and laughs faintly.
“What happened?” I asked, grasping her hand.
“The potties, they always seem to come from the sky, never seem to come from behind or from the front,” she says each word with strain, as if it hurts just to talk. She takes a raspy breath, “A hard knock to the head is the gamers' weak spot. Don’t let them touch your head, or you will have to start all over,” her eyes seemed to be losing their pixels, “But without me.” Her body is starting to be blown away, each pixel just breaking apart, and turning floating away half-heartedly, gradually growing smaller. Before they hit the armed toilets, they just disappeared.
“Sam, I’ve known you for what is it, 10 years now? You can’t just leave!” I yelled, shaking her disappearing shoulders.
“I’ll turn up some place you least expect it.” Her hand touched my shoulder, but that felt no more than a small water drop now. All that was left were her face, and hands, where were slowly floating away too. “It’s only a game, right?” She then disappears completely.
Just seeing that jarred me up, like I just had an extra-large cup of Joe. The toilets advance, noticing that the show is finished, but I’m through. My friend is gone for good, and this potty wants to keep playing?! I ready my gun, so it will hit the potty right in the hand, just like Sam said. Direct hit! The toilet flies back about 20 feet, strait into a wall. It blew apart with pixels flying all over the place. “Potty One, down, Potty Two, you’re up!”
Before Potty Two came at me, a hear something falling from above me. The potties they always seem to come from the sky, Sam said, A hard knock to the head is a gamers' weak spot.
I roll to the side, and a small toilet explodes as it makes impact with the ground. Well, that was easy, I think, and Potty Two rushes at me, his spit ball gun readied at my head. “Oh no you don’t,” I smile, and sprint to him, my gun aiming at his hand. I shoot, and curse as Potty Two turns right. “Curse you POTTY! That was my only ammo!” Potty Two smiled, and shot his gun right at me head. It fly back, dazed.
I do not know who is more surprised, me or Potty Two, as I stand up, and fly right at it. All Potty Two could do is stick out its hand to cover its face, which is what I am hoping for. I land on his right hand, and start to go baboon on him, ripping it apart. Once the right hand is finished I go to the left. I hear moaning coming from Potty Two, but I continue. “THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING MY FRIEND!” I scream, as I finish it left.
It falls down, and, like Sam, its pixels start to disappear. I look at it and say, “That’s how it’s done, son.” The toilet disappears, and I fall to the ground, exhausted. The colors of the game start to spin above me, turning, and turning. Then, black.
I wake up, and I am on my bed, the cover under me, and my hair a wreck. The phone beside my bed rings, and I scramble to snatch it up. “Hello?” I said, all groggy.
“Hey, this is Sam, are you all right?”
I dropped the phone, SAM? I fumble to pick it up, and shout, “Sam? Is that really you?”
Sam laughed, “Yah, it’s me, why? Is there an evil clone that has taken my place in school or something?”
“Sam, don’t you remember? The toilets? The spit ball gun? Do you even remember POTTY WARS 2?”
“Are you sure you are all right? What toilets?”
“The toilets, you know, and you helped me defeat them with a spit ball gun. Then, at level three, you died, and I finished the game! We are both out!”
“Seriously, I have no clue what you are talking about.”
“Then where were you the past 2 months?” I ask smugly, fully awake.
“I was at my aunt’s house. My uncle passed away, so we decided to stay up there for about 2 weeks. Then a snow storm came, and my aunt’s log cabin was trapped in 10 feet of snow. I’m glad I got out though, my mother, aunt and I almost freeze to death!”
“Right,” I say doubting it.
“It’s true! Here’s my mom-“ the phone sounded like it was handed to someone else, and I heard a voice on the other end, and it defiantly wasn’t Sam’s.
“H-honey,” I chattering voice says, “W-we, just came h-home from those l-long, cold w-inter nights. Now, e-excuse me! I-I need t-to take an n-nice warm bath.”
“Ok, Mrs. Richards.” I say, wondering about the Potty Wars.
“See?” Sam says, her voice back on.
“Ok, I believe you, but still, it was so realistic.”
“Dreams are like that sometimes,” Sam says, and I hear in her voice she was almost laughing.
“Well, Sam, I have to go,” I say, “Video game time!”
Sam laughs, “Yes, I can’t interrupt you with that!” The phone clicks off, and I just stare at it. Was that Potty wars really a dream? Did I really just make that up? I never know, but just to be sure, I take Super Smash Bros Brawl out to the living room…
I never used my T.V again. Even now, 20 years later, where I have kids, and a husband, and even a video gaming company, I have never touched it. I left the T.V. behind when my mom decided to move closer to Sam’s house when her father had died. The T.V. will always haunt me, even if people (Sam) say that what happened is a dream. I try to surprise Sam with the Potty Wars question every so often, but she denies it, and asks me if I’m feeling ok. I just know it isn’t fake, I just wish I have proof. I wish I can just forget it, but those terrifying toilets just dancing scared me beyond compare. I swore to my gaming company that we will not make anything like that, and we still haven’t up to this day. I kept my promise to myself. I never went to the bathroom again; it was always the woods I would use. Now, here is a word of advice that you should listen to carefully. The T.V. I used is all black, with stickers of video game characters around it. If you find something like that, don’t touch it, I swear. Because, I never, ever, took the CD out of it, no matter what was in it before. Never touch it; your fate might not be as lucky as mine was.