Author's note: I have been inspired by the famous author Sarah Dessen. I hope people will understand that... Show full author's note »
Dreamer.It was dark, lonely, and cold. I was trapped and I did not know where I was. Somebody opened a box or a crate type thing. I did not know what I should do. Should I cry and scream and kick and punch my way out? No that could lead this person to kill me I thought in my head. I know what I should do. I think I should pretend to sleep. I closed my eyes when I saw the box open so I still heard everything. But I couldn’t hear what they were saying, all I heard was mumbling. They put me on some type of conveyor belt and walked away. I looked over I saw my dad next to me.
“Dad?” I whispered quietly.
“Hallie what are you doing here?” he said.
“Daddy I want to save you.” I started to cry. I realized how much I miss him and how much I wanted him back, but nothing I could say or do could bring him back to me.
“Hallie, sweetie, you have to go, if they see you trying to save me, they could kill you too”, he whispered as if it hurt to talk.
“But dad I want you to come home and be with me, and Morgyn and mom.” I cried. I could feel the tears rolling down my hot cheeks. Before I saw my dad fall into the fire pit I woke up to my mom saying,” Hallie, Hallie, Hallie wake up.”
“Urrggghhh, come on mom. I don’t want to wake up it is my birthday!” I yelled.
“Are you okay?” she said as she felt my cheeks.
“Yes I am fine why? I felt my face. It was wet? Oh no! I must have been crying in my sleep! I quickly thought it over I coughed as I said “No not really.”
“Do you want to stay home today?” she asked in a strict voice.
“No not really because then I won’t be able to take Morgyn trick or treating, and –
“Shush don’t say that, you will be able to just don’t let Morgyn know that you are staying home because then she is going to want to stay home. Okay?”
“Okay thanks mom I love you (sometimes).”I mumbled under my breath.
“What was that Hallie? Did you just say sometimes?” she said curiously.
“Um, no?” I said skeptically.
“Oh Okay just checking,” she said suspiciously.
My mom was a very good person. She is tall and nice but I am still taller than her. I personally think it is kind of funny. Morgyn came into the room
“Hallie are you okay?” she said curiously.
“Yes Morgyn I am fine!” I snarled back at her. I didn’t mean to but if I didn’t she would have blown my cover. God I hate when little sisters do stuff like that.
“Oh okay, well, Happy Birthday. I love you big sister.” I love when she says stuff like that because when she says she hates me and anything else in that nature I wish I had it on recording so I can show her that she really doesn’t hate me and that she loves me and when we grow up we are going to do exactly what my mom and aunt did we are going to become the best of friends.
“Thanks Morgyn.” I said back. I think it is kind of cool to have your birthday on Halloween. I was supposed to be born on November 9th but I came out 9 days early. My mom says I was a miracle child. But I don’t really see how.
“Mommy, I want to me a kitty cat!’ said Morgyn.
“Morgyn you already got your costume, I thought you wanted to be a dragon!” I heard faintly in the background. When I got downstairs I saw breakfast on the table. It was eggs, bacon and ham. But it was green. I think it was just food coloring but i'm not 100% sure. MY name is Hallie, like Kali but with a few extra letters. I am 14 years old and I live in California. I obviously have a younger more annoying sister named Morgyn.
Morgyn is 4 years old. She always wants to hang out with me and my friends. Whatever I do she has to do. I can’t stand it sometimes. But other times it is kind of cool to have a little sister around that you can boss around and tell her things that aren’t even true about her. I don’t always pick on her because sometimes she doesn’t believe it and she goes to tell my mom. Then I get grounded and I just don’t feel like being grounded for life. So I tend to let her hang out with me and my friends. All I really have to do is make sure she stays out of trouble and is by my side all the time right? Well no you are wrong. I have to make sure I talk to her and don’t leave her out of any conversations. Sometimes I swear I feel like Cinderella not because of how pretty she is, but because of how much a slave she is.
“Hallie?” my mom said while doing the dishes.” Is that you?”
“Yes mom it is me. Thanks for the breakfast it is delicious!” I said considerately.
“Okay good, I thought it was some type of monster.” She said jokingly.
“Okay mom, thanks for everything.
“No problem sweetie”
“I love you”
“I love you too.”
The next day came around and my parents were not home. I still did not know what to do. I went upstairs and I jumped in my bed and covered up. Next thing I knew I was dreaming. I had the dream I said I never wanted to dream about again. I was with my dad again. But this time we were on a beach with Morgyn. My dream would have been perfect if Morgyn wasn’t there. I started to talk to my dad but there was no noise. I cannot read lips. So I did not know what they were saying. Could it have been my last goodbye? Could it have been that he was coming home? I will never know all because of my stupid dream. My dad had passed away in the war a few weeks ago so it still felt like it was new. It felt like taking a bagel out of the toaster but it is too hot to hold so you throw it on the counter. That is kind of how it feels. Now I can understand what people mean when they say I miss this person and I miss that person. Well now I can officially say and mean it… I miss my dad.
“Mom? Is that you?” I screamed down the stairs.
“Yes Mor- Hallie. It’s me. Is everything ok?”
“Yes everything is fine; I was just worried that someone broke into the house. I just woke up so that makes it even scarier.”
“Okay sweetie just call me and let me know if you need anything!”
“Okay mom thanks.”
I heard the door shut. I ran downstairs to make sure it was shut…and locked. I was not trying to take the chance of somebody breaking down my door. The neighborhood I live in is horrible. I did not even want to take Morgyn trick or treating. But I did. I really wish she knew how much I do for her. I fell back asleep. I didn’t know where I was. I was in a very cold room. It was so cold I could see my breath. I looked for a thermometer to see exactly how cold it was. It was frozen. Damn. I tried to breathe on it to unfreeze it but it didn’t work. I looked over and saw a bunch of shelves with really big bags on them. I opened one and a hand fell out. It had a few rings and a few bracelets. They looked like old lady jewelry. I stuffed it back in and screamed. Hoping someone would hear me. I looked at the next one. A foot fell out. They looked like the army shoes I got for my dad on Christmas. I opened it all the way and there he was. Purple lips and a gun shot through the head. It was my father. It hurt me. I started to cry. I could feel the frozen tears stroll down my frozen cheeks. It felt like an atom bomb had just been dropped on my heart. I tried to open the door and it creaked. So I tried harder and it opened. I screamed all the way down a dark hallway. I didn’t see anybody. I pushed the doors open at the exit and was greeted by a bright light in my face. It warmed my face so quickly. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I think it is because knowing that I was closer to home helped. I didn’t understand how I got there. I woke up to a bucket of freezing cold water being dumped on my face. I screamed.
“What are you doing?”I said.
“You passed out… while you were riding your bike”
“Where am I?” I said while my voice cracked. My throat was really dry so I looked over to see if there was any water.
“You are in the hospital you got hurt pretty bad.”
My foot was in a sling and I had a cast on my arm. I had a splint on three of my fingers and an ace bandage around my ankle. I felt like I just fell off of a cliff. Into tons and tons of water. I had a scratch on almost every part of my body.
“Why do I keep passing out? What is wrong with me?”
“You fell down a hill and hit your head on a fence, broke through the fence and broke your arm and leg. You sprained your wrist and while you were waking up you were holding onto the fence. That is how you broke your fingers. Poor Morgyn saw the whole thing.” I saw Morgyn sitting in a chair dangling her feet kicking the floor looking at her fingers.
“Morgyn come here.”
“What Hallie? Are you feeling better? Are you going to be okay?”
“Yes Morgyn I am fine. I am going to be okay. And I wanted to tell you I am sorry.”
“Sorry for what Hallie?”
“Sorry for letting you see all of this happen. I know you have been going through enough with daddy and everything. I just feel bad for making you go through even more.”
“It’s okay Hallie. I am going to be okay.”
I saw my mom tearing up. She told me she was going to go get us something to eat from the cafeteria. I don’t believe her but whatever. I hate the fact that I can never do anything right for Morgyn. I feel like I will never be a good big sister. I hate it. I hate my life and I hate everything about it! When we went home we stopped to play at the park. Of course I couldn’t play but I will do anything to see my little sister happy. My mom pulled me over to the side. My mom asked me questions about my dreams. I told her every dream I ever had…except for the bad ones. My dreams got worse as I got older now they are to the point I am crying in my sleep. I fell to the ground. I felt my body hit the grass and I felt it on my bare arms. I passed out again. I knew it… it was not possible for me to not faint in one day. I started to have another dream. Maybe my dreams mean something, maybe they are happening for a reason.
“Dad?”, I said scared.
“ Who are you?”, he said in a mean voice.
“It’s me Hallie. Your oldest daughter.”
“YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER!”He said while yelling at me.
“But daddy? I am your daughter. I promise. Please believe me.. I am your baby girl. You are my dad. I know it. But if you don’t then that’s fine! Leave me alone!” That is not what I wanted myself to say. I know that he is my dad but how could he not remember me? What did I do wrong for him not to remember me? I woke up in my room. Morgyn was sitting next to me. She looked like she was crying.
“Morgyn what is wrong?”
“What were you dreaming about Hallie?”
“You were talking in your sleep and I heard you so I woke up… you said something like it’s me Hallie your oldest daughter” This is where it gets bad.
“No, Don’t Morgyn me. I know you have been having dreams where you talk to daddy… why didn’t you tell me? I am your little sister you are supposed to care about how I feel and how much I miss daddy. Why? Why Hallie? Why would you do this to me?”
“Morgyn. I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t like to see you hurt. You know I tell you everything. How are you going to say that I don’t care about you when all I do is spend time with you? If I didn’t care about you Morgyn I would not be having this conversation with you right now. I love you Morgyn and nothing you can do will change the fact that you are my sister. I just hope you understand that!”
“Hallie. I am sorry for flipping out on you. But I want to talk to daddy. Why can’t I pass out so I can see him? I haven’t seen him since I was 2 and that hurts me. I miss him so much and not even a dream will come to me so I can see him.”
She started to cry more than she already was.
“Morgyn hugged her closely, you don’t want to see daddy this way. I don’t think daddy wants you to see him this way”
“But still Hallie, she pushed me away, why all of a sudden are you the special child.”
“Morgyn, I am not the special child, but I am the oldest and I think daddy knows that I understand how to handle him coming to me in my dreams, and I don’t think daddy wants you to see him this way, he wants you to think of him looking how he looked before he left for war.” Morgyn started to calm down a little. When she wiped the tears from her eyes she went downstairs. I passed out again. This time I was in the police station with Morgyn and my mom. I felt scared; once again I did not know what was happening. I looked out the window; I saw my mom’s car. She had to of driven here. I tried to talk to my mom but she walked away. She got down on her knees and started crying. This is the time we found out my father and died. Morgyn was busy trying to comfort her. The whole time I was looking at the flag they had given my mom which symbolizes freedom. This is what makes me understand that my dad was fighting for his family’s freedom and dignity he was fighting for our lives and our love. When I woke up I was laying in my bed. Morgyn and my mom were standing over me. Morgyn looked scared, like I did something wrong.
“Morgyn are you ok?” I said in a raspy voice. She didn’t answer me instead she ran downstairs. I tried to follow her but my mom stopped me.
“Hallie, what is going on with you and Morgyn you are supposed to be sisters not enemies. You should love eachother, not fight over the stupidest thing in the world, what are you fighting about anyway?”
“ We are arguing because I get to see daddy in my dreams and she doesn’t. I already tried to tell her that daddy wouldn’t want to see her this way. Daddy wants her to remember him how he looked before he left for the war. But you know Morgyn she doesn’t like to listen to anybody but whatever is going on in that 4 year old head of hers.”
“ You 100% completely right but she is your little sister and you still should not be arguing with her. Do you understand me?” My eyes watered up and I ran downstairs out the front door and down the street. I did not like what my mother had just said. I did not understand why she would say that to me knowing everything I am going through.When I left the house Morgyn and my mom were standing on the front porch watching what way I go. I knew that I would upset my mom and morgyn, But I am so sick of Morgyn. Just because she is only 4 she is treated like a princess and I just cant take it anymore. I ran all the way around the city and still did not go back to my house. I found a place with a couch and blankets and that is where I slept. I slept there because I did not feel like going back to my nice warm cozy home with a little sister that is treated like she is perfect and a mother, that just doesn’t understand. The next morning when I woke up I jumped in the river to clean up a little then started to walk around. I walked up some streets and I walked down some hills. Until I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I finally broke down and started crying. I realized how bad I felt for making my mom worry all night long. I realized everything I said to Morgyn that I should not have told her. I just realized I am a mistake, I don’t belong here. I always tend to mess up everything. I finally built up enough courage to go home, if I could find my way back. I started walking to my house and I was hungry, thirsty, I was dehydrated. If I didn’t go home I would eventually die or pass out, then nobody would find me. When I got closer to home I got the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. They got worse as I opened the door. I was afraid of what my mom did while I was gone. As I walked into the house I saw 2 police officers and a dog.
“Mom?”, I said quietly.
“Hallie Jane, why did you leave all night, where did you sleep, what did you eat?”,she said in a scared voice. I cleared my throat.
“Mom, can you ask the police officer to leave now since I am home?”
“You can leave now officer thank you for your time.”
“Mom I ran away because I am so sick of how good you treat morgyn and you treat me like I cant do anything right.”
“ That is only because I want you to grow up to be a young respectful women, but the way you have been acting lately like arguing with your sister you are showing me that I cannot trust you” I stood there in shock. I felt word vomit coming up through my vocal cords and I knew that I could not hold it in.