The Highschool for the Rich, Famous, and Me | Teen Ink

The Highschool for the Rich, Famous, and Me

April 30, 2011
By maddii_luvss GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
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maddii_luvss GOLD, San Antonio, Texas
18 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we were all born to die, and we all die to live; then what's the point of living life if it just contradicts?" ~ Ronnie Radke

Author's note: I wrote this because I had fell in love with a guy named neil, and felt that our story be justified :)

“Are you still there?” I holler into the swallowing darkness. A small sound comes from a distance. Sounds like rushing water. “Please! Are you still here?!” Nevertheless, the only response given is my trembling voice echoing off the never ending darkness intertwining with the sound of rushing water. It’s getting closer. I slowly turn toward the rushing water trying to find the source of the daunting noise. Turning around I managed to squeak out a small gasp in my shock. “Neil? Neil is that really,” a tear rolls down my cheek,” you?” Swiftly I take a few steps toward him hoping that he is real, that this is really the one I love.

“Ivy? Ivy? Where are you?” He hollers. His voice is oh so familiar and sweet giving me the shivers of joy he once gave me long ago; but the image of him is blurring away as if he was a drop of ink in a lake. The sound of rushing water, whispering it’s thoughts of drowning me and slowly stopping my heart, was beating against my eardrums as it got closer to me.

“Neil! Neil I’m right here!” But my sound was muffled by the water that snaked up my legs and pulled me under. Making me claw my way to the surface only to be brought down to the bottom again, slowly I sunk to the bottom and there let my eyes rest in the content of knowing he saw me.
A strident beeping noise brought me back out of the terrible nightmare. I gasped for the breath I longed to have under the whispering waves, but soon cringed as I tasted the irony taste of smoke on my tongue. Bill is home. The thought came to me before I could even stop myself from thinking about him, not the first thing I wanted to think about this morning. I mechanically roll off my bed and hit the floor with a thud.

“Ow,” a voice whispered, which I hadn’t realized had been my own until five minutes after the pain of getting a face full of wood had started to seep in my bone. Grumbling with my sickness of this morning already, I crawl over to the mirror to see what I looked like. My appearance seemed normal enough (not really what I am aiming for… to be “normal”) the black and bleach blonde hair messed up from the tossing and turning of my nightmarish dreams, the crappy pajamas that I had bought from a church garage sale for fifty cents three years ago and still don’t fit me all too great, and of course my green eyes speckled with a dark shade of red and lined with the dark circles that carry my stress. Everything seemed to be in order, or at least what I am used to looking at, so I crawled back over to my spot on the floor and lay down with my face on its cool ground. It has been five years since we broke up and still I’m having these beautiful nightmares! Does that even make any since; a beautiful nightmare? His voice is silk and his eyes so beautiful, but why isn’t he here? Well if anything I knew that I wasn’t making any since at all today. “Ugh!” I cry into the floor, but I get no response and right now I think that I am ok with that like, my mom always used to say, ‘It doesn’t matter if you talk to yourself. It’s when you start answering yourself,’…. Tears begin to roll down my face and trace patterns of my broken heart onto the floor. I am supposed to be stronger than that. I roll over fast flicking any trace of tears off my face. If Clary saw… Wow. I’m surprised she’s not even- a knock on my door comes before I can even finish my train of thought.

“Hello? Are you still alive in there?” I chuckle and sigh with relief. Wow it is just like Clary to come right when I’m thinking about her.

“No I’m pretty sure that I died in my sleep.” I reply, but soon regret my choice of words as the terrible nightmare chases back from my memories into my mind. I moved to open the door, but she already bursted threw the door set in a pink mini-skirt, a black shirt with hot pink spray paint and a black bow, her signature accessory. “I was about to open the door.” I murmur under my breath as I walk over to my closet.

“Oh come on Ivy!” She yells as she starts the blaring song of Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. I smirk, a classic. “Besides! We only have one more week of high school then BOOM! We get to go to college! Free of this horrid place that we call home!” Alright now she is just being a smart-ass. Actually, I hadn’t even thought about which college I was going to go to. I mean yes of course I had submitted to all the colleges that Clary was submitting to so we might have the slight chance of being together for our college years, but I haven’t gotten a reply from anywhere and Clary had already gotten accepted into University of Texas in Austin and was very proud of herself in doing so. While she jumped on my bed to the beat of the music I go to pick out my clothes from my tiny-sad-excuse of a closet. Ah-ha! I picked out the perfect combination of a hot pink and black plaid mini-skirt, an All Time Low t-shirt and of course my favorite pair of black and white checkered suspenders, and what would I be without my signature shoes? I slip on my lime green Becky Bones shoes and smile happily at the memoires these things could tell. I was happy that my All Time Low shirt was actually clean, because they are one of my favorite bands and I think that it’s like wear a band shirt day on Facebook or something. I turn from my floor length mirror satisfied with my look and search around for my tiny black bow; that I eventually found and pinned into my hair. I turn around and find Clary hovering three inches from my face.

“Ok Ivy, I want you to know…” She said with a big grin on her face. Oh God. “That I want you to have a…” She pulled out a giant button and pinned it to my skirt. I rolled my eyes already knowing what she was planning to say. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” She squeals with excitement. I suck in a breath taking in more air that has been smothered by the disgusting smoke. “Ok look I know that you didn’t want anything and I tried explaining that to my parents, but they wouldn’t listen!! I mean you try explaining that to people who are more stubborn than a cold jar of molasses!” I can’t help but laugh a little bit her and her country sayings, something I could never honestly say I loved. She looks at me hopeful. “Sooo come on outside!” Ugh. I told her no gifts! But I guess that it wouldn’t hurt to take a peek. Swiftly I grabbed my bag and she pulled me quickly down the stairs. “Ok no peeking!!” She says in a sing-song voice.

“Clary as if I’m going to peek.” I say. My eyes slowly open to see what the surprise was, but Clary’s hand blocked my view of the world. The excitement is growing as I hear the screen door shut behind me.

“Ok you can look now!” I hear Clary yell obviously stoked about how my reaction is going to be. Slowly I open my eyes for the second time. This time there was no hand, this time there it was and I just stand and stare.

“Wow.” Is all I can manage to say.

“Oh my gosh I hope you like it! You always would talk about this car and these colors sooo… Ta Da!!!” Clary squeals sitting on the hood of a brand new jet black corvette. A huge red bow was laid neatly on top of it with a little bit of the ribbon melting down the sides to puddle on the floor. “Mommy and Daddy just couldn’t bear to not give you a fantabulous gift, so they put their heads together and decided to buy you something that would last you a long time. Oh! I got you a student parking spot right next to mine so we can be parking buddies!” I looked in the window of my new car and it had the same shiny neon blue parking tag that was on her car. I came up to the side of the car and slowly stroke the warm metal. “Well don’t just stand there get in!” As she jumps into the passenger seat I stroke my new hot ride one more time before hopping into the car. Slowly, so not to over-whelm myself, I take in a deep breath and gulp in the hot pink leather that has been a dream of mine since I knew that was a color. I drank the car in with a smile to myself. She said one day I would get it…. I re-focused back into reality

“You seriously have no idea how amazing this is! I think I am in love! Is it possible to just marry a car?” I bubbly laugh under my breath while laying my head on the seat and looking up. “Oh no!” I squeal with excitement and clicked the small button above my head. “A convertible? Oh my gosh!! I love your parents!!!” The roof of the car makes a small click and slowly retracts back.

“The keys are in the ignition.” Clary chirps with a wink. I look down to find the keys in the ignition with a keychain that has a picture us on it, and the Spiderman keychain I got on a school trip to Disney world when I was 14. About to turn on the car, Clary grabs my arm pulling it away. “Wait. There is one more surprise. Look in the glove box.” Looking at her I try to find any hint of what it might be, but I have no luck. Cautiously I reach over and pull the lever revealing three envelops stacked on top of one another.

“Birthday cards? Hmmm I wonder who they are from….” I say sarcastically knowing one is from her, her parents, and Sam. The first one was addressed to me and said, “Congratulations!” I looked at Clary, but she was obviously not interested in what this was because her face was already at the mirror putting make-up on. What the heck is this? I rip off the top of the envelope and carefully lift out the letter. I read it carefully. Re-read it. And again. Again. And again. Finally I came to this conclusion. “I GOT ACCEPTED INTO UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS IN AUSTIN WITH A FULL SCHOLARSHIP!!!” I was bouncing up and down in my seat not even bothering to contain my excitement. Clary turned from her make-up and copied what I did. We eventually calm down and I pull the second letter out. This is what I come to…. “I ALSO GOT ACCEPTED INTO FLORIDA STATE!!” But my grin soon turned to a sour frown. “But with only a half scholarship….” Clary looked at me and sighed deeply. “Hmmmm which college should I choose?” I looked back at Clary with a fake serious smile and we both bursted out into a giggle fest. “Of course I’m coming to college with my best friend!!!” I smile broadly at the thought of me and Clary going to college together.

“So Ivy, have you made your speech Ms. Valedictorian?” Clary said with a smug look on her face.

“I’m working on it! I promise I will mention you in it!!” I give her a wink and we start laughing again. “Hold on I have one more letter lemme check it out.” I look over the letter, but it doesn’t say congratulations on it. Well I guess Harvard is out of the question…but at least I’m going to college with Clary. I open the letter and automatically wish I hadn’t.

Dear Ivy Scene,
I heard you got into my college. Good job. I’m proud of you.
Quickly I crumple up the letter and throw it out the window into the street. I can recognize Neil’s hand writing anywhere and I knew he had sent that letter.

“Did you read all of it?” Clary says with a worrying look on her face.

“No.” The word snapped out of my mouth. “Clary why did you tell him?” I turn to face her, but she is awkwardly staring at her nails in her lap. Sigh. “Ok it doesn’t matter…. Where are we driving to?” I say cheerily to re-brighten up our now dampened mood.

“Can we go to the high school? I left my real make-up bag in the gym bleachers!” Her reaction was fast and snappy. Sounds like she is up to something.

“What were you doing putting make-up on in the gym?” I ask curiously. She tosses her bleach blonde hair and sighs. Jeesh what a drama queen! She is going to be a great actress when she grows up.

“Do you remember that REALLY boring lecture they gave us the other day?”As I start the car I can’t help but laugh a little. How can you not remember the day that Mr. McLancer comes to your school and talks about how you should go to college so you don’t end up like him? The engine hums to life, the sound of life in my ears of my fresh new car calmed me down from today. The car purred in reaction to my smile.

“Today is going to be a good day.” I whisper under my breath while backing out of my driveway on the way to the portal to hell: High School.

The car ride there wasn’t as bad as I remember, but then again I wasn’t on the bus going to school with a bunch of losers trying to sell me Smarties to smoke, not very smartie. Clary kept me good company, we talked about the new bands and who was good enough to get an album and who was bad enough to not even be able to open for a school principal. We gossiped about the virgins a.k.a. the freshmen, like who was getting beat up and who the “Goths” were... you know the norm. In what seemed like forever, we finally reach the High School for the rich, the famous, and then me; it was really called Los Angeles High, but I like the name I gave it much better; you know? Fits the personality and character of the school much better, but at least it is not as bad as Delphi Academy of Los Angeles. I don’t even think that I could afford to park my car next to the school. It was ironic that I thought of this while I parked my new car, which I named Delilah, in front of the old gym entrance. Rumor has it that some old coach killed a football player in there for losing a game, and when you walk in there right after we have a football game and loose, you can still hear the screams of the boy being killed, but those are just rumors we tell the virgins to get them to stay out of our after-game raves. But still, it is still a scary thought. When some time passed I turned towards Clary. She was texting on her custom made black and neon green phone.

“Um Clary? We are here.” I said trying to see what and who she was texting, but she quickly slid her phone down and turned to me with a smile. I gave her a curious look because we always show each other who and what we are texting. That is how much we trust each other because we both know that no matter how much crap we say or do…we will always be best friends.

“Oh I am just texting my boyfriend,” she said lightly while opening the car door. “You know how needy he can be sometimes.” She added with a quick smile and then closed the door. She fixed her skirt, flipped her hair, and then did the I’m-better-than-you-walk that me and her spent HOURS perfecting at a sleepover.

“Don’t be long!” I call after her, but she has already pushed her way through the rusty old door. I pull the mirror down and tossle my hair. Why are all of these cars here today? Is there some like weird thing going on today? I bet it’s some geeky band practice. I mean playing an instrument is cool, but not while you dance around and sweat under the California heat! I glance towards my clock. Ok it’s 12:15, I’m going to give her until 12:20. I try hard not to stare at the clock because everyone knows that it slows down time. In my head I go over the beginning of my speech which I am supposed to be giving a week from Friday. After going over it for the billionth time I look at the clock. Ok Clary it’s 12:30 I’m coming in. I unbuckle myself, pull the keys out of the ignition and toss them into my bag. I step out of my car, tossle my hair one last time, and pat Delilah’s seats before I close the door and start walking towards the gym entrance. Before I get to the door I pause…ok any weird things you might see Clary do you will always love her like a sister. I push the rusty old door that leads into the gym and step in. I look around the gym to find that Clary is standing in the middle of the gym with one light pouring on her. Why the heck are all the lights off in here? “Clary, are you ok?” I ask while shuffling towards her.

“Ivy no…wait….” She says calmly. I stop dead in my tracks and watch her carefully. “Ivy… my boyfriend dumped me right here in this room….” I ran up to her and hugged her tight.

“I’m so sorry Clary.” I sympathetically said. “What happened?” I picked her face up with my hands and for some odd reason she was smiling.

“Nah! I was just kidding!! Hit the lights!!!” She yelled. All of a sudden all of the lights were on and the whole entire student body was standing there.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” Everyone yells at me. I was shocked; I probably looked like an idiot just standing there so slowly I turned to face the stack of huge presents stacked on top of one another. The biggest one drew my attention and I think Clary’s mom knew that. The box was about as big as my room and it was black topped with lime green ribbon.

“Go for it Ivy. It’s something that everyone pitched in for.” Mrs. Wells told me. I look over the eager faces of people trying to figure out what it was, but no luck. I could just tell that they really wanted me to open it up. I walked down the path that had been cleared for me to the present and was greeted by Sam. His crystal blue eyes sparkled against his pale skin and short brown hair.

“Happy Birthday Ivy.” He said and wrapped his big arms around me. “Just pull the rope and the present will open…but you might want the football team to help you.” I chuckle.

“Ok, but you know I think that I actually might be strong enough to do it alone.” We laugh because everybody knows that I am VERY weak. I can barely pick myself up after falling for attempting one push up.

“Alright boys lead her there!” Sam bellows. I hear the scuffling of feet and finally the loud whooping of the football team. The crowd goes wild! The quarter back of the football team, Jake Richardson, swooped me off my feet and carried me over to the long rope that was supposed to open my eagerly awaited present.

“Thank-you.” I smile and feel my cheeks burn a fiery red since of course Jake Richardson was the “it” guy and any girl who even got a simple hello from him was jealously admired by Jakes fan club.

“No problem birthday girl!” He smiles wryly. “Ok now guys help me out here!” All of the football team formed a line behind me and picked up the rope. We start to pull, well more they pull and I kind of just give them the rope, and the lights go out again! I let go, but I can feel the rope being pulled underneath my feet. I hear some girls scream recognizing Clary’s scream almost immediately, but almost as fast as the lights turned off a spot light shines where the box should have been. At first only the darkness took its place and I was somewhat confused and upset with what this present turned out to be. Sigh. I turn to make my way to the cake and punch, but Jake holds his arm out to stop me. “Woah hold on birthday girl. Your surprise hasn’t even come out yet.” I look up to ask Jake what the heck he was talking about, but he pushes my face towards the empty spotlight again but this time it revealed the perfect face of Mason Musso! I felt a little dizzy and kind of bumped into Jake as he caught me so I was still standing up. Realizing that it would be totally embarrassing if I just passed out in the middle of MY party, I weakly stood there and held onto Jake’s arm for support.

“Happy Birthday Ivy Scene! This one is for you doll.” He said with a wink while smoke poured around him and the rest of the band came into view revealing Anthony Improgo, the drummer, Trace Cyrus, vocalist/guitarist, and keyboardist Blake Healy. As if on que, a group of screaming girls ran up to the make-shift stage as the band started to play my favorite song; Shake it!!! The people around me tell me happy birthday and I thank them for coming. The music pounds loudly into my ears as I search the massive crowd for Clary. Finally I find her dancing with her boyfriend, Sam and a few other people that were just at the party dancing their hearts out. I walk up to them with a smile and awkwardly start moving my hips to the beat of the song, but as the day went on, my awkward movements transformed into the life of the party.
Around 7:00 I finally left the high school, having to put all of my presents in my car, and wrap up a few pieces of cake for whenever I get home. The drive home was amazing, just like the party! I felt the wind in my hair, the breeze in my heart. I kept thinking back to the moment that Mason kissed me on the cheek and gave me his personal number. He is sooo dreamy! Driving home took a little less than five minutes and when I finally did get home the man that “raised” me was not home and the reason I could tell was because his rusty old truck wasn’t on the front lawn or the neighbor’s front lawn. I sigh with relief as I walk into the house because the last bit of smoke was retreating back into the L.A. air. I walk over to the fridge, but realize that I probably ate enough food to last me a month! I laugh and close the fridge door. Oh! I forgot the presents in my car! I ran outside, but wasn’t watching where the side walk was and where it wasn’t so I came crashing to the floor falling flat on my face. My chin and hands stung a little bit but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I got up to a sitting position to see some juniors on skateboards laughing at me. The blonde one, which looked like the leader of the group, wasn’t paying any attention to where his board was did the same thing I did over the curb of the street. His friends and I laughed like crazy! Clearly embarrassed he picked up his skateboard and shouted to his friends that it was time for him to go home, which made us laugh harder knowing that he was embarrassed by repeating what he had just made fun of. The irony.

“Hey can you help me up?” I asked sweetly as one of the boys came and pulled me off the floor. “Thank-you.”

“No problem doll.” He replied and kissed my hand. As he turns back to chase after his friends my cheeks turn a light pink color.
“Hey kutie thanks for the help! Will I see you around?!” My voice chases after his skateboard. He turns around and brings his hands up to his mouth.
“Count on it doll face!” My face turns from pink to full blasting red.
Finally all of my presents are upstairs, or where I wanted them to be, so I take a little rest and lay on my bed. My face is turned up so that I am watching the ceiling; I turn over on my side. I wonder what the rest of the letter said…I didn’t even bother to read it all…. I turn onto my other side and cringe at the thought of going to college with him next year. I actually didn’t realize how tired I was until my eyelids grew very heavy and next thing I know I am fast asleep.
I am walking around the park with Clary and suddenly Neil’s truck pulls next to us. I watch eagerly as he steps out of his truck. I run towards him with my arms wide open, he greets me the same way and with a small kiss on the cheek. I can feel my cheeks turn a small pinkish color. Then as I watch him, he walks around to the back and took out his long board. He smiled at me wryly showing his perfect white teeth. As he placed the board in front of us and I frown deeply. Is he really going to just leave? I look up at him and he is smiling that big smile…my smile, and without realizing what is going on I suddenly feel hands around my waist and next thing I know I’m on top of the long board flying across the side walk. Clary cheers as I roll past her sitting down on the bench with Matt. He pushes me around, but soon I didn’t feel his hands on my waist anymore and a shoot of panic runs threw me.

“Neil don’t let me go!” I yell as the long board, with me on it, head for a big pine tree. He ran next to me and swooped me off the board just before the board comes to a halt while hitting the tree. He treats me as if I was a princess and he was my knight in shining armor.

“I will never let you go baby.” His voice was sweet on the back of my neck and then his hands left me again….But this time I knew that they wouldn’t come back ever again.

I woke up to the loud beeping of my stupid alarm clock which one day I will gladly smash it with a hammer. I mechanically sat up and tossled my hair. My new laptop, still with the black bow on top, sat on my desk showing a picture of Clary, Sam, and I at last year’s New Years Eve party. Good times…good times. I moan and stumble over to the computer. With all this new technology you would think that they have some sort of remote for computers! I open up the MySpace home page while quickly scrolling down to log in. I check over all the new updates, read everyone’s relationship status, and then scroll over to my own messages.

“Ok three new messages.” I say quietly to myself. Clicking on the first one I soon find out that it is one of those stupid forwards about how our economy is dying and if you don’t send this to a billion people then it will die even more. Delete. The next one was an e-card from the football team telling me Happy Birthday. I smile because each one had written me a personal note; I blush violently as I see that Jake Richardson had left a tiny note saying ‘Call me kutie! 213-415-3941’ I picked up my cell phone, but decided that I would call later tonight. Maybe we could go see that new slasher flick that is out at Arclight Movie Theater. The last email I got was from my friend Sam. ‘Hy do u wnt 2g2 mall?’ I was just about to type a HUGE yes because I needed a break from these weird dreams, but my eyes instinctively look at my clock on the bottom right hand corner. 11:30?! “Damn it!!” I run to my closet and search threw all of my clothes noticing that I had forgotten to wash my stupid uniform, but I had to grab it and go. I rush out my door and practically trip down the stairs when I see Bill.

“Where are you going?” His voice was stern and made everything else quiet.

“I have a job Bill. How do you think I buy food and clothes for myself?” I roll my eyes and move to avoid this whole situation, but he raises his hand which makes me cringe backwards.

“Don’t you DARE say my first name!” He booms.

“Well if you actually cared enough to raise me right then maybe I would call you dude!!” I shouted back feeling the stinging tears in my eyes.

“I do raise you damn it!” He replied throwing his hand farther back in the air.

“Uh…? News flash Bill. Raising your daughter means you actually have to be there for her and not leave for like 5 months at a time! You don’t know what a father really should be darn it!! Just get out of here and GO TO HELL!!!!” My sinful words echoed all over the house and right as they escaped my lips I wish that I could have magically taken them back. His face turned to a boiling red and his left hand came down hard on my right cheek leaving it stinging. My tears welled up with tears I cried so much! I dashed out of the house pushing him over onto a glass flower pot Gran gave me last Christmas. I ran to my car not daring to look back and started the engine. He ran outside while I was pulling out of the driveway.

“You little son of a b****! Don’t bother EVER coming back!!!!” He always says stuff like this, but since I am officially 18 and I pay for the house then he is trespassing…but I will call the cops later if he becomes a problem. Let’s hope that he leaves tonight though so we don’t have to deal with the cops…. Again.
... :’(
I arrived at McDonalds wayyy past my shift. Hopefully no one will see me; so I quickly duck in the crowd and make my way to punch in for today.

“Scene! Your 30 minutes past your shift! Where is your head today?!” Mr. McLancer yelled over a greasy fryer. I ignored him and continued on my way to the employee only bathroom. As I turned to face the door my cherry red cheek showed. A tear rolled down my cheek sending searing pain into the already very tender cheek. Mr. McLancer’s face went sorrowful.

“Look Scene I’m not going to count you out on this one. I’ll give you a break.” He pats my shoulder twice and ran off to go scream at some new employee who broke the dress code by wearing neon shoelaces. I push on the door to go in and nothing happens. I push again…. Still nothing. I lay there with my head against the bathroom door. Finally I pull the door just enough for one me, and then slither on in.

“This is not my day.” I grumble as I walk into the first stall that is clean. I place the lid down and sit on it thinking about getting dressed into my uniform but decide that it could wait. Sigh. I stand up and slowly put on the not so cool McDonalds uniform. Slowly, I stride out of the stall to stand in front of the wall length mirror. The red spot on my cheek had died down a lot but it was still noticeable. I walk outside into the chaos of the food industry. Sigh. I shuffle towards the job board and punch in my card eager to see my job. Deeper sigh. I am on the cash register today. GREAT! Just the job I wanted to do! I grab my name tag, blue visor and make my way to my stable and do the job of being one of the many animals on old McDonald’s farm.

The day went by so painfully slow. Each customer took about 20 minutes to order because they haven’t memorized the menu even though they come here pretty much every single day. I turn to look back at the rest of the kitchen. Sigh. I turn back around and rub my eyes with my head towards the ceiling, not even bothering to look I mechanically say, “welcome to McDonald’s, how may I help you?” I don’t want to open my eyes to see some annoying little brat with their mom screaming about how they want a 10 piece not a 4 piece. I just feel like telling them hey lady your kid is fat already just give him the 10 piece! “Could you help me by giving me the chance to take on a date?” A strangely familiar voice called to me from over the counter. I look straight ahead and open my eyes. “Oh! Jake. Hey!” Oh my gosh I bet I sounded so un-cool right now. Wait I always sound un-cool. His clear blue eyes sparkled wildly under his jet black hair. He laughed under his breath. “So how about that date doll?” He said slyly. “Oh…um…when? I get off at 2:30” I couldn’t look him in the eye because I was afraid that I would end up stuttering like an idiot. Well not like your speaking crystal clear now…. “Scene! Come here!” Mr. McLancer called me over. “Look Ivy,” Wow that’s the first time he has said my first name, “you can go home. Think of it as my birthday gift to you. Plus…” he looked over Jake curiously, “I know that you like that boy. Go have some fun.” He gave me a quick smile then ran off still yelling to that same kid for the neon shoelaces. I walk back over to where Jake stood and where the crowd grew impatient behind him. “Actually my boss just gave me a day off.” The smile on my face probably just makes it look like I have gas which was not the look that I wanted to accomplish. “Good! I have a surprise for you, you know like a late birthday present? But I left it at my house. Do you mind if you…” his voice trailed off. Wow. He is not too good with talking to girls, “kind of just follow me home and then we can go see a movie or something?” He had a devious look in his eyes and for a split second his eyes change into a deep purple that sends shivers down my spine. Purple eyes? Ok no more beer before bed. “Something wrong?” His face looked concerned, but the purple in his eyes showed a hideous grin. I knocked out the butterflies and swallowed down the shivers that shot up my spine. “Sure I’ll follow you.” I give him a slight smile knowing that it was all that I could manage since my gut told me that this wasn’t such a good idea. He smiles triumphantly and his eyes stay to that scary deep purple. He walked away with his head down going through the crowd and headed off to his truck. I turned slowly and hung up my visor. “Hey Lavinge can you tell Clary that I’m not sure if I can come to her house after? I’m taking the day off.” Lavinge gave me a quick smile before turning back to the yelling crowd. Finally out of the chaos, I walk over to my car which is oddly parked right next to Jake’s. “Just follow my lead there ok?” He unlocked his truck and started walking over to his car. “Ok sounds great. I would probably get lost anyways.” This wasn’t true because I had gone passed his GORGEOUES house before always dreaming of walking inside of it. “See you there!” He winked and got into his truck. I climbed into my car. My dream is finally coming true! I am going to Jake Richardson’s house. And my engine hummed to life signifying that my dream would soon come true. … :]]]]]]]] His house was amazingly enormous! I had forgotten how big it really was!! The white house with the green shutters was beautiful, a classic Victorian home. “Ivy! Come park your car next to my car!” He had already parked and was showing me where to park my car. My tiny car slid in next to his masculine truck perfectly well. I got out and awkwardly went up to his front steps into his house. The scene reminded me of something that could come out of a fairy tale! The double staircases that lead upstairs was breathe taking along with the marble floors and glass chandelier. He pulled me aside to the right set of stairs. “I must apologize, but my parents will not be joining us this evening. They went out for their honeymoon.” I heard him perfectly clear, but I wasn’t truly listening to what he had to say. My mind right now was off to the whole carriages, ball gowns, and missing slippers land. He grabbed my hand and placed it on a big brass doorknob. I looked towards him and he nodded his head showing in approval that I could open it. Slowly, the opened door revealed a room that actually appeared normal at first sight. A king sized bed -my guess- that wasn’t made up like any normal teenager, a desk piled with books and dust, some old family photos…. Wait. No windows? No way!! I look around his room and find that it was truly windowless. I walked to the middle of the room and set my bag down. I turn to ask Jake about the windows, but he is closing the door and locking it with a key. His eyes turn that deep purple that sent shivers down into my spine. “I find it better to use keys for locks. Privacy today is so well…” He turned towards me with a grin fit for the devil’s face, “violated.” He dropped the key into his front pocket and paced slowly towards me, like a cheetah would to their prey. I backed up, frightened by his eyes and the look on his face, realizing that I was his prey. “Jake…uh…Jake what are you doing?” I panicked and looked around the room, not noticing where I was in his room I fell over and landed on his bed. Not good Ivy. “What I have wanted to do for the longest time.” He took off his letter jacket and came on top of me. His body crushed mine, making it to where I couldn’t breathe…or scream for that matter. I struggled continuously as he took off my shirt and pants and kissed down my stomach. The only way out of this situation would be to do something sexy, something that I would most likely regret for the rest of my senior and college years. Think Ivy! Think! I had an idea, I knew that it may not work, but I had to at least try. “Here let me do this one sweet lips.” I slid my hands under his shirt and took it off. His body gave off a heated sensation that sent tingles through my body. I slide my hands down to his pants and take them off slowly while kissing down his neck. The salt from his sweat stuck to my lips making them sting a little bit. As I look around for some bed cuffs I gently bite his lip. He released a low moan that sent shivers down my spine. I didn’t know what to do next, so I slowly take off his under wear and grin. The bed cuffs where on both sides of the bed, perfect! This might actually work!! I move his arms up to the tiny pieces of cloth and tie him down. Nervousness crosses his face. “WH-what are you doing there Ivy?” He looks directly at my boobs and I just roll my eyes. “What I have wanted to do for a long time Jake.” He closes his eyes and braces himself. I slowly slide off his bed and try not to make a noise. Quietly I creek open the door. “HEY! What the hell are you doing?!!?” His voice became frantic. “I told you. It’s something I have wanted to do for a long time.” I yell over my shoulder as I dash out of the door with his underwear clutched in my hands as if holding onto them would make me run faster. His screams chase after me down the hall as I pick up my pace afraid that he will get out. That Velcro won’t hold him down forever. I run outside and hop into my car. Come on Delilah! Turn on please! The engine guns to life while I pull out. All of a sudden a brilliant idea pops in my mind. If I could just get close enough! Then maybe this will work. I took my digital camera out of the glove box and waited. Suddenly, I see a small figure running out of the house madly yelling. I zoom in good so that it shows Jake’s mad face and his tick tack sized p**** and SNAP! I take the picture, turn around and speed off towards Clary’s house so I can tell her the whole story.

Ring! Come on Clary answer the door. Ring! Come on!! Finally I hear a gruff voice, “I’m comin hold up!” The door seems to rise up in front of me towering over me while my face burns a deep red. “Yo! ....Oh.” Great it’s Jacob the freak! I feel my cheeks turn brighter red as his turn bright red. “Ivy..?” I look sheepishly towards him and notice that he is staring at my new lingerie from Victoria Secret. “Oh!” He leaned up against the door in an attempt at acting cool. “H-h-how’s it growin? I meant going! How’s it goin Ivy?” I rolled my eyes at the pathetic attempt he was giving. Come on Jacob you can do better than this. If this is your best then this is just pathetic.

“Jacob I just want something to wear before I walk into your house!” I looked at his jacket with high hopes that he would gladly hand it over. A sly grin broke out onto his face.

“What’s in it for my baby doll?” He eyed me carefully. “How about a kiss…or maybe something else?” He dug into his back pocket and pulled out an extra large condom. I laugh, he needs something more like an extra small condom.

“How about a kiss and say we did but won’t.” I give him a slight wink and giggle. He grabs me by the waist and presses his smooth cold lips on to mine.

“Now how was that?!” He pulls back obviously satisfied with my kiss, which wasn’t all that great because I was panting, but I think that he took it the wrong way and thought that I wanted him. I lick my lips out of habit and to prove a point.

“Good. Now can I please use your jacket?” I had remembered the previous times that we have kissed when I was drunk. I was lost deep in thought, but was abruptly startled out of thought by his raucous sigh. Grudgingly, he hands over the over-sized jacket that smelled like pot.

“You know something Ivy? You’re supposed to be like my little sister but I’m still in love with you!!!” He opened the door to the house and let me in, but not before he could grab my boobs slightly.

“Pervert” I mumble under my breath and walk up the spiral staircase to go to Clary’s room. As I approach her door I realize that knocking would be stupid since she would just tell me to come in anyways, so I just let myself into her room and found her lying on her bed. Her feet were hanging off the side and I laughed remembering when we have sleepovers and do that.

“Hey Chicka!” She yells and closes her lap top to get a good look at me. She gives me an odd look. “Make out with Jacob again?” I thought about answering yes, but decide to shrug off the question. She seemed like she wanted to shrug it off too. “Hey Lavinge said that you left work early today. Why?” I lay on the bed next to her.

“What? Can’t a hard working girl like me take a day off?” I asked hoping that she would buy the lie; but by the look on her face I knew that on this roll I would have no dice. She turns on her side to look at me.

“Ivy please, for as long as we have known each other you have NEVER taken a day off!!” An anxious look grew in her eyes, “Mr. McLancer didn’t fire you…did he?” Her voice got very quiet as if she thought that somebody might be listening to our conversation.

“No I didn’t get fired! I just…went on a date…with…um…Jake Richardson.” I seemed like it was hard to imagine that I would have the chance of doing that. Clary just stared at me with disbelief so I took out my camera. “See look for yourself.” I showed her the picture of Jake as he ran after me naked. “Wow he is a tick tack!” I laugh, but Clary’s eyes are still locked onto me with an icy gaze. “Clary you should have seen his eyes though!!” This made her flinch a little bit.

“Why what did they do?” Her voice was like a monotone.

“They turned purple! Isn’t that just weird?!!” I laughed at the thought of me being crazy.

“Ivy…let me tell you the story of Jake Richardson.” She looked around her room to make sure that nobody was listening. As she got up to close her door her voice came out a little bit shaky. “Ok Ivy here we go.” She sat down on the fuzzy pink rug and closed her eyes. “Jake Richardson is adopted by the wealthiest family in Los Angeles, but nobody really has any idea of what his past life was like before his rich and fame. His parents now try to get him to tell them, but no luck with someone as stubborn as a rock. Anyways when they adopted him two years ago and found out that he had a thing….” Her gaze shifted to me.

“You mean…?” I shifted my weight. How did I not know that Jake was a sex offender? Clearly she knew I had already guessed because she moved on.

“They were very worried on how this would affect his social life in High school and they wanted to warn people. But they didn’t want to do it publically. A few months later his eye doctor told them about something that they had worked on for a while called ‘Iristacts.’ Basically meaning that if something bad happened the iris of your eye would change colors. Of course this was only a prototype, but Jake’s new parents were desperate to help him. So they gave him contacts that change purple when he wants you….” She looks me over carefully. “He didn’t hurt you did he?” I laugh aloud.

“If anything I think that I hurt him!” I hooted louder and took out the pair of Army underwear I had pulled off of him. Her face instantly lighted up.

“Where did you get these?!!” She snatched them out of my hands and before I could say anything she looked at me while a grin spread widely across her face. “You blow up the picture!”

“And you get the paint!” We laughed and sat on the floor. I don’t think that either of us noticed that I still didn’t have any real clothes on.

I got home proud of the work that Clary and I had done with Jake’s underwear and picture. I smiled widely thinking back to the Herpes website we submitted his naked picture to. Bill’s old truck wasn’t there so I know that he would be gone for awhile. I opened my door slowly and poked my head out the door. I start to get out, but the sound of a familiar voice sent me back into my car daring me to run across the lawn now.

“Hey doll; want to borrow a jacket? It’s a little bit too cold for lace.” His voice made me jump and turn my head to look and see who it was coming from. It was that junior skater that helped me up off the floor when I tripped.

“If you don’t mind.” I said sweetly trying not to let him see me blush as he took off his jacket and handed it over.

“Hey, do you mind if I come inside? I really could use a drink.” He looked parched and his eyes didn’t flicker any shade of purple so I told myself that he was safe enough. I slipped on his jacket before getting out of the car and I was lucky enough that it came to my mid-thigh.

“Your new here aren’t you?” I say over my shoulder trying to shove my stubborn Tinker Bell key into the tiny whole. After I heard the lock click back I opened the door and we awkwardly walked in. There was a silence and I was about to mention the awkward silence turtle, but he broke the silence.

“Yeah I just moved here from Texas. I’m supposed to be a senior, but my mom thought that it would be a good idea to hold me back in case the education was to ‘hard’ for me.” He paused for a second at the kitchen table then sat down. I ran over to the fridge to get something for us to drink.

“What do you want we got orange juice, milk, coke, and beer?” He looks at me puzzled and calmly says,
“Can I have a coke?” I take a coke out of the tiny box and remove a beer from the plastic. I shuffle my feet over towards him and hand him the coke.
“You ordered a coke I believe.” He smiled and took the coke out of my hand. He awkwardly shifted in his seat as he watched me pop the top of a beer can before I gulped down a big drink.
“D-d-do you drink often?” His eyes seemed like they were locked onto the can with an icy glare. His glare would have gone straight through my heart if he were staring at me and I silently thank the beer to be there to hold that long stare.
“Nope,” I say in a calming voice that my mom would have used if I was afraid. His whole body seemed to relax with relief as he released a breath that was big enough to launch a space shuttle. “I only drink when Bill comes home.” His look changes from relaxed to very confused.

“Bill? Who is he?” He smirks, “You got a husband you aren’t telling me about?” I was tempted to slap him across his face, but decided that wasn’t the ideal way to make a new friend.

“Bill…. Well I guess he is a father figure. I mean I have no idea the idiot didn’t raise me. After I was 9 he just kind of came and left for 5 or 6 months.” I leaned back in my chair and took a drink of the cool bud light in my hand. “I guess I pretty much raised myself.” I smirked remembering the countless times that Clary and I had to pretend that we were sisters so I wouldn’t get shipped off to some stupid orphanage that still haunts me to this very day.

“Sooo…” his voice startles me out of my haunting nightmare of becoming a so called orphan. “What does this have to do with drinking?” Obviously still confused I decided to tell him my whole story. No matter how long, boring, gruesome, or scary it may get. He should know. I am not sure why I trust this…kid with my secrets; but I knew that he wouldn’t dare tell anyone and that he will eventually tell me things of his life. Plus, I am not getting any buzz from the beer so I could easily push him to believe in a lie. Wow. It has been a very long time since anyone has cared about my past. I think that the last person who asked about my past was…Ryan? Sigh. I really miss him. I smirked.

“Where should I begin?” My smirk faded as the time passed by while he pondered my question carefully. He turned to face me.

“How about the very beginning?” His voice sounded a little off. Like it was strained or forced out. His question startled me.

“Um. Well.” I stuttered a little then thought of my beginning. “My parents loved me.” I look up from my lap directly into his eyes. “A little too much.” I frowned. I knew that I wasn’t making much since. I smile widely. “Here let me start with the day May 27, 1992….” I paused for awhile. He cocked his head sideways and frowned.

“What is the significance of that day?” I smiled. Knowing something that no one else did make me feel smart.

“My birthday.” I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and looked back down to my lap. I paused for a second while I could feel his body warmth lean in closer. “My mother wanted a home birth with me. She knew that I was going to be her only child so she decided that it would be best for me and her to have a home birth. She burnt sage and lavender before my birth; she said that it purified the air so that I would come out as the perfect angel I am now.” I smirked. As if I had come out to be a perfect angel. “As I had said before my parents loved me. I was their perfect little angel! Their treasure to their sunken ship. Unfortunately…” I sucked in a deep breath of air, “they didn’t really like each other after I was born. And as my age progressed, the fighting and yelling continued to progress with it.” Slowly I turned towards the skater to where my whole body faced him. “You see my dad was a very big alcoholic and an even bigger smoker. My mom didn’t want me to be exposed to any of that; she used to tell him ‘Should have just surrounded me in cigar smoke before her birth!’ So one night she decided that I should have no more of it and she took me away just like that.” I smile remembering past times I had spent with my mom, remembering all the bubble baths and half-eaten gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “Those were the best years of my life, and I lived with her until I was about seven years old and then everything went downhill from there. My world slowly came crashing down around me at the age of seven and I didn’t even know it yet.” I pause for a moment, thinking where I should start with my ‘crashing world’. Puzzled for only a moment I began to unravel my tale. “It was my very first sleepover. Clary asked me to come over…she is my very best friend if you didn’t know this. We had so much fun that night! Huge pillow fights, lots of pizza, and the best ice cream sundae that has EVER washed over my delicate taste buds. But when I came home…” A tear threatened to roll down my cheek, but I blinked it back. “Clary’s mom, Mrs. Wells, never wanted me to go home. If it hadn’t have been for my mother, she probably would have never let me go home ever. You see she didn’t trust my father. She said that one day he would just go crazy. In fact, she gave me an emergency phone so that I could click one button and it would call her just in case I needed help in any way.” I can remember the day that I didn’t need that old phone anymore; and after awhile I began to miss the heavy weight in my left pocket. I shook my head. “Anyways I got home and nobody answered the door; so I used the emergency key to get in. I remember running around the house yelling mom! Mom! I wanted to tell her EVERYTHING that we did, from reading magazines to doing karaoke. I searched the house getting very anxious because my mom had never left me home alone before, for fear of my father coming to steal me away. Then I found her.” My hands were sweaty and blood flowed in my mouth from biting down on my tongue which I hadn’t realized I had been doing. “Her body was cold and I realized that something wasn’t right; something was wrong. I tried to wake her up. I really did. As I shook her a red stained the white blanket she was under. A red that I knew wasn’t a good sign. My hands pulled slowly away at the sight of what I soon realized must be blood.” I sigh and look down at my hands. My voice became very strained and raspy. “Are you positive that you want to hear the rest?” I asked while a little bit of hope surged threw me.

“Yes…if you do not mind actually.” He tried to keep his tone casual, but I could since the suspenseful hint in his voice. I looked at my hands as if remembering the feel of her touch.

“Ok…. ‘Mommy, wake up! Please mommy, wake up!’ I continued to shake her ignoring the gut feeling that she may not wake up. That’s when I heard a click. It startled me and I jumped. Bill had his arms behind his back as if hiding something. ‘Daddy?’ ‘I am surprised that you remember me Ivy. Your mother has kept you away from me for so long.’ He paced towards me carefully and his eyes narrowed in on me. ‘Too long Ivy.’ My heart beat fast like prey trying to get away from a cheetah, nearly impossible. ‘Daddy she won’t wake up!’ I pointed innocently to my mother who still lay on the bed with a peaceful look on her face. He looked over his shoulder, and now that I think of it, it might have been just a glance; just a sneak peek over his shoulder. A devious grin, fit for the devil himself and still gives me nightmares to this very day, spread wide across his face. ‘Mommy...’ that smile got wider showing more of his hideously yellow teeth ‘won’t be waking up anytime soon.’ His voice deepened and he paced forward to me faster making me press up to the bathroom door. ‘She kept you from me for too long Ivy. And now; you both get to pay the price.’ He pulled out a knife caked with a thick layer of blood from behind his back. ‘Night night Ivy.’ He raised the knife high into the air. I opened the door and closed it as fast I could and then locked it behind me. ‘You stupid brat!! Let me in! Let me in! I’ll die without you! Let me in! Let me in!!’ He pounded furiously on the door. I knew that this door would not block him away from me forever.” I looked up to find him rocking back and forth.

“Go on please!” The excitement bounced in his eyes as he decided that he would no longer hide it.

“If I must,” I situated myself to go back into the story. “I looked around realizing that I have to hide for fear that he will get in soon. I opened the grate above the mirror and climbed in right in time, because next thing I knew he was prowling on the ground looking for any sign that I might be still here. ‘Come on out Ivy. I am not going to hurt you baby girl. Just come on out’ I peeked through the slits in the grate and saw the shine of his knife in his right hand. I knew that if I didn’t act I would die fairly quickly. I hastily dialed the number for the wells on my emergency phone, but had no answer. The only other number I could remember was the cops and I knew that was my only option when he started to tear things apart to find me.” I sucked in a deep breath. “They came and took him away. I remember his piercing scream as they pulled him away swearing that he would one day have vengeance. For a year Clary and her family generously volunteered for me to live with them and about a year later he moved back and I moved back too. That is my story. The End!” I felt as though my ending was cut a little bit short. But by the look on his face I could tell that I had perhaps drawn it out a little too long. His face was in a fixed expression of being mortified, while I just sat back and took another drink of my beer that had gotten uncomfortably warm.

“Wow.” I guess that all that I could have expected of the poor boy. I glanced at the clock realizing it was around 2:15.

“You better get home kid.” I looked towards the door and he got up to leave. “Hey I never did catch your name.” He turned towards me and smiled brilliantly.

“Alex” and with that, he was out the door totally forgetting the fact I was still wearing his jacket.

… :}

“Clary?” I chirped over the phone while driving to her house. “Do you want a ride to the movies?” I already knew that the answer was a no considering that her parents had just bought her a new porch last Christmas.

“Sure! I will be outside the gate.” She happily replied.

“Ok ttyl!” I say excitedly

“Ttfn!!” She replies. She was probably planning a big sleepover or something fun like that because for those we have learned that it is easier to use only one car. I turned the corner and in the back I heard the crinkle around the flowers that I had bought for mom.

“Hold on little guys.” I whispered as I pulled up to the gate and waited for Clary who I knew, and expected, was not on time. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long at all. Thank God. “Hey ummm…. You know that it is the 28th right?” I gave her a sideways glance as she climbed into the car and pulled out 2 lilies out of her bag.

“I know.” She said and placed the flowers in the back with my roses. “I bought flowers too this time.” She gave me a sympathetic smile and turned on the radio. We sang our favorite songs, but we didn’t really talk at all on the way to the cemetery. Finally, we get to our destination.

“Hold your breath.” I look over and gave Clary a small smirk.

“Long breath.” She murmured as we stopped in front of the waterfall. “Do you want to go alone?” She looked a little bit nervous.

“Actually can you come with me? It won’t take me long I promise.” I held out my pinky and she smiled while taking it with hers. I slowly got out of the car and grabbed the flowers from the back seat. Clary had already grabbed hers and started walking towards mom’s spot by the waterfall under a willow tree. I bent down and placed the roses next to Clary’s lilies. “I love you mom.” I stared up above at the patches of blue that dotted the sky. Sigh. “Clary, are you ready to go?” I turn towards Clary and watched as a tear rolls down her cheek.

“It’s my fault she died. If I wouldn’t have asked you to sleepover. Ugh. I am such a fool.” She looked down at her feet as another tear flowed from her eyes onto the ground.

“Clary if it weren’t for you then I would have died with my mom.” I looked at her and squeezed her arm lightly. She turned her head towards me. “Clary it’s just Bill’s fault and nobody else’s. Not even mine. Not even yours either.” Clary gave me a bewildered look as if it was my fault that I was the “perfect angel”. I look at her wildly. “What? It’s not my fault that they decided to have sex!” We both giggle until we are about to pee our pants.

“Alright I guess you have a point.” She says happily. I shiver and look around.

“Hey Clary can we get out of here? I think the dead is getting tired of our presence.” I say and add a teasing smile.

“Sure thing!” She grabs my arm and we skip back to my car probably giving a dead person a headache.

… :]

“We have arrived at last to the theater your hiney-ness!!” We hoot with laughter and park in the closest spot next to the building that loomed up before us.

“Arclight movies! You know I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw Ryan here. He supposedly came back for awhile and is working. No idea what he would need the money for.” She looks around and leans in a little closer as if trying to keep a secret, “Plus, you didn’t hear this from me, but I heard that he is a super good kisser!” She exclaims while moving to get out of the car. I pull her back down with a few giggles.

“He is my boyfriend I think I would know that!” She gave me a smile that told me oh-my-gosh-I-forgot-about-your-long-distance-relationship-thing. I laugh it off and before she can replay at all I dash off to the front of the building. I almost hear a faint voice calling after me saying something about me driving and it wasn’t fair if I paid too. I didn’t care Clary had done so much for me in the past, I think that I owe her a small movie ticket. “Two tickets to the next good slasher flick that is showing!!” I am out of breath by the time I pull out my debit card and I.D. Clary is coming up the stairs fast as a lightning bolt already holding out her debit card and I.D. to quickly buy the tickets. Right before I watch the black silhouette swipe my card she slides hers in the tiny opening.

“No! Let me pay!!” She got a devious grin on her face and I knew what was going to happen next, for I had seen Clary do this multiple times to get her way with a guy. “I’ll give you a lap dance if I can pay for it.” I sighed deeply realizing that I had been defeated. The black figure inside the box shrugs.

“Sorry baby doll, but I am coming up on an 18 month dry spill.” He swipes her card and then puts both cards back in the tiny slit. “Come on down hot shot! It’s your turn to keep up your side of the deal.” He slipped the key ring into the slit; while Clary eagerly took them and went around to the side.

“Clary I’m not so sure this is such a good idea. You can’t even tell what he looks like ever since the manager put up those dark screens! He could be a 90 year old virgin!!” My voice became frantic as Clary put the key in the doorknob.

“His voice sounded hot, his silhouette was fine, and how could he be a virgin when he said that he only had an 18 month dry spill?” I sigh. Sometimes talking to Clary was like speaking to a stupid rock. I chuckle a little remembering how we had a funeral for Clary’s pet rock named Carl because we forgot to feed him. It’s funny how weird 14 year olds can actually be. “Besides,” her voice snaps me out of my memories, “I am going to laugh when he turns out to be super cute.” She turns the key and opens the door; and as if on que we both scream. Ok pause; your probably thinking did you see Taylor Lautner?! No. What stood before us was way worse, because if it had been Taylor I think that I would have given him the lap dance instead of Clary. Ok play. Sitting in front of us was an over-weight 15 year old kid with long curly hair, a fishing hat covered in weird looking fish things, and geeky square glasses.

“Come here! I have got my G-String on baby!” Apparently the dude was wearing pull away pants because the next thing I knew he was wearing nothing but a moron polo T-shirt and a hot pink G-String. “Oh s***! My mom got mine mixed up with hers!” He looked clearly embarrassed but started walking towards us.

“Get away from me you creep!” Clary threw the keys at him and we both turned to run out of sight.

“I told you so!” I pant as we stop right before the doors.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Just come on.” We gain back our looks, sort of, and walk in with the walk that we both worked on. When we got in the first thing that caught my eye was the most beautiful thing I could have imagined. Ryan. He was 20 years old, name: Ryan Paul Flaherty, favorite color: blue, favorite thing to do: play sports. I may sound like a creepy stalker to you, but I and Ryan have been dating for about three and a half years now. I think that I know everything that there is to know about that boy. His long brown hair looked perfect against his fair skin. Wow. He got his lip pierced since the last time I saw him, he looked truly spectacular.

“Oh hey Ivy! What movie are you going to see?” He glanced at my ticket and then I caught him looking at my boobs once, but his face turned such a bright shade of red that I didn’t feel like calling him on it.

“Oh you know…that new slasher flick.” I blush slightly as his skin touches mine to grab my ticket and then he reaches for Clary’s ticket too.

“When does your shift end? My boyfriend is coming and will be here in like ten minutes, if you get off soon maybe you and Ivy could catch up.” She gave me a sly wink and slid her phone easily down.

“Actually I get off right about…” His voice kind of trailed off leaving us hanging. All of a sudden a booming voice came out of nowhere.

“Ryan! You off now! Go have fun!” I had heard that the manager was a retired veteran from the Vietnam War in 1959, but I never thought that he was this demanding.

“Sir yes sir!” He raised his right hand to his brow to almost mimic the tiny old man with a salute, but the man took it with a proud smile and disappeared back to where ever he had some from. Ryan turned back to us beaming proudly.

“Does he seriously make you do that?” Clary said with a hint of disgust in her voice. Ryan eyed her curiously sending a hot stab of jealousy through me.

“Like omg. Yeah. Doesn’t like everyone who is anyone get the latest gossip?” His voice is in a mocking tone of a popular girl which kind of freaked me out, but at the same time made me burst out with laughter at his fail attempt of pretending to be a girl. Clary smiled showing that she was not defeated or put down in any way.

“Don’t flatter yourself Ryan.” She rolled her eyes high towards the ceiling. “So are you coming or not?” She didn’t even bother to disguise the impatience in her voice which kind of upset me. Ryan smiled politely and nodded.

“Of course I am; wouldn’t miss out on seeing my girl.” He winked at me which sent my heart fluttering out of my chest and up into the sky. He came around and pushed on the small of my back signaling that I should start walking towards the movie theater.

“But what about MY boyfriend I can’t just leave him?!” Clary stomped her foot in frustration and stood stubbornly close to the exit.

“While you wait here for… Who is the next victim of the week?” He looked down at me and winked making me chuckle. “Ivy and I are going to do some catching up. It’s not every day that a couple can say it’s their 4 year anniversary.”
I looked up to him in disbelief. Was that really today? I look back trying to think hard. No it wasn’t! It was yesterday! Shit. And I forgot to text him. Wow. Number one girl friend right here, might as well get a t shirt for him to wear around saying it like Cindy makes her boyfriend Kyle do. Trust me I wouldn’t actually do that. I think it’s kind of creepy in a weird sort of way. I am lost deep in thought about Kyle’s freak of a girl friend and how I am glad that he isn’t with me anymore, yes we used to date… but that was like a century ago! “Are you going to walk up the steps or do I need to carry you myself?” His breath slowly traveled down my back giving me the skivvies.

“Um…I” I looked deep into his eyes and almost lost myself for a moment. “I think that I can manage to walk.” He looked a little bit worried but shrugged his shoulders.

“Whatever suits you best my love.”He went ahead of me and led the way to the far back corner of the dark theater. He moved to the side and bowed slightly, “m’lady.” I gave a brief giggle and took my seat in the corner. He took his seat next to me and lifted up the arm rest that blocked us from snuggling. Instantly, I felt my body curve right along his and the familiar scent of him, which I had forgotten how much I love, intoxicated me. He brought his right hand up and started to twirl my hair. “You have no idea how much I missed you.” I look up at him, but he is just staring at the screen that has turned blood red from the killing spree that the mass murder just went on. “It gets rather lonely up in Oregon. I am all by myself.” I turned my attention back to the screen which now showed to lovers in a car, who everybody knows, is about to be killed.

“Well then you shouldn’t have moved.” My voice was cold and had a cutting edge to it.

“Did I have a choice in the matter?” His tone echoed mine as he continued to twirl my hair between his fingertips.

“I believe so, yes.”

“I would have stayed.” His voice was a chilled sword to the heart. I chuckled a little bit.

“Somehow I don’t believe that.” My hair fell back down to my shoulders as his hand pulled my face up to his.

“Ivy. I love you with all my heart. I wouldn’t have moved if I truly had a say in the matter. I don’t know how to make it much simpler for you to understand that.” I fidgeted trying to get out of his clutch, but it only tightened. His eyes screamed out sorry, but I knew that this boy had too much pride to say so. When I was just about to scream out two camels in a tiny car, my friend Terralyn had taught me that if you say that then the other person will stop fighting with you, but Ryan leaned into me quick not giving me a choice whether I wanted a kiss or not. His lips were firm against mine, but slowly melted like butter. The cold steel of his new lip ring was a delightful addition to our tasteful kiss. My tongue went over his lips and searched for the small ring. At last I found it and slowly, but playfully, bit down on it. A deep moan stirred from within him telling me what he truly wanted was me. A tear almost fell down my cheek, but I kept it from falling for fear that he would pull away. My arms found their way to his neck and I pulled myself closer forcing my body onto his. One of his hands traced some design on my back while the other thread its way through my hair. Electricity flows through our already heated lips making the kisses seductive and more desirable. I can feel his love being pressed deep on me, almost as if I am drowning, but I like this weird feeling of drowning. The feeling of drowning in love for Ryan.

The movie was actually extremely scary! I think for about three fourths of the movie I hid in Ryan’s jacket, but I don’t think that either one of us minded that too much. We walked out of the movie theater joined by Clary and her boyfriend. It was a bit chilly for a night in May which didn’t help at all because cold blood already ran through my veins from the movie. My and Clary’s skin was completely drained of any sign of any type of color, of course it’s not like we have the sexy tans that almost every other girl has but now we look like a pair of albinos. Ryan casually placed his arm around my shoulder.

“Hey little girly you aren’t lookin to hot.” He looked a bit worried as he inspected my cold pale little body. “I think that I am going to take you home tonight.” He smiled and pulled me closer. Now whether it was with the intentions of keeping me warm or to just have me close I am still questioning. No matter, the heat of his body felt good as we walked to my car leaving Clary and her boyfriend behind making out on a wall.

“But I was Clary’s ride.” I protested while Ryan buckled me into the seat.

“The victim is going to drive her home don’t worry about it baby.” He gently shut my door and moved over to the driver’s side. “Where are the keys baby doll?” I sat up straight and glared at him. He gave me his best puppy dog look and I just had to give in.

“In the side pocket of my purse.” He gave me a skeptical look, but reached across me for my purse. He got the keys and dangled them in front of my face. Like a child, I stuck my tongue out at him while giving him a sour face. He kissed my cheek and laughed hard.

“Gosh Ivy I love you so much.” I continued to give a pouty look, but couldn’t help but blush a violent pink. Delilah purred to life as we backed out and started to go back home.

“Hey Ryan?” I asked and snuck a glance at those beautiful amber green eyes.

“Yeah babe?” He kept his eyes locked firmly on the road, but threw his arm over my chair.

“Why did you move to Oregon in the first place?” I found that my eyes had now locked onto him and he let out a deep sigh.

“You know that I love you baby.” His voice was pressing.

“So then why did you leave me two years ago?” He sat up a little taller and cleared his throat.

“I had to baby. The job and college, but I came back didn’t I?” He tried to lighten the mood, but my mood wasn’t going to change.

“For how long?” My words cut through his mood like a fiery sword threw a sheet of ice. He sighed deeply.

“I have some things that I need to work out up in the north. I leave in four days.”A big sigh escaped my lips. That is not the answer I was looking for. “But in two weeks I am coming back to live with you.” His right hand moved down to my hand. “I promise.” He squeezed my hand in reassurance. I laugh a little bit.

“You know something?” I looked at him and he shook his head, but still looked onto the road. “I stopped trusting boys after David lied to me in the eighth grade.” I giggle thinking back to how pointless a “love” relationship is at that age. I must admit Sam was right, but I would never admit that to him. Ryan bursted out into laughter because David and he had known each other in some sort of weird way.

“I remember you telling me about your little valentines plan. I remember being so jealous of David getting all the attention from you.” He laughed a little as we pulled into the drive way. I was about to argue, but remained silent because a wave of relief washed over me; Bill was still not home. Good. Now I won’t have to call the cops on him again. I get out of the car and slowly hear the die of Delilah’s humming as I put my Tinkerbell key into the little hole and open the door. I feel the door being pushed from my reach. I don’t bother to acknowledge it so instead I just walk in and head towards the kitchen.

“Want something to drink hun?” I don’t get an answer right away so I just open the refrigerator and grab two Bud Lights from the plastic that holds them all together. As I am walking over to the couch he finally answers me.

“A beer if you don’t…” his voice stops abruptly as he watches me walk into the room holding the beers. “You know me to well baby.” The familiar smile that spreads across his face makes my heart feel warm. I set the beers on the coffee table, but I feel his eyes on me.

“Can I help you?” My voice is smooth chocolate over a freshly baked cheesecake. I turn slowly to look at him and he has his pouty face on.

“You’re so far away!” The whine in his voice is almost like nagging, but I think it’s cute…sometimes. Just to annoy him I scoot an inch closer. “Closer!!” The tone of his voice reminds me of the voice I used to use when I went and helped Clary deliver Girl Scout cookies, annoyed. Another inch. “Ivy don’t test me.” He says playfully. I decide that staying still would be the most fun, so I stay put. “Ivy…” He gets a sexy grin on his face. “Fine have it your way. I will give you to the count of five.” I laugh a little.

“As if I should be afraid of you!” My tone is playful, but I have to admit; he did scare me with that look in his eyes. Almost as scary as Jake…. I shiver trying to shake off the feeling of them having anything in common. I smile like a sweet innocent little kid who just got into a jar of cookies and blamed it on his best friend who obviously didn’t have any crumbs on his mouth. “You’re a little teddy bear.” He got on all fours and crawled one inch.

“One…” he scooted towards me, but I backed away trying to keep the space between us noticeable.

“A big, huge, fluffy teddy bear made of marshmallows!” I smiled wickedly as I leaned on the arm of the chair. He had slowed down just to make the attack more fun… for whom it was meant to be fun for, I am still curious.

“Two…” his inching quickened as he paced forwards toward me. He became the predator and I was his prey. “Three….”

“My little hopeless, whipped, romantic.” I knew that this would set him off as if he were a time bomb, but instead he paused to where he was only about a foot away from my feet.

“You sure you want to test me? I become very…naughty when I don’t get my will and it’s not as much fun when I must force it.” He laughed a stony laugh, and oddly I laughed along with him.

“Oh please! I can’t turn you on when we are making out or anything! It’s not like you would want something like this.” His face grew a wickedly sexy smile. Oh damn was he one fineeeee boy! My body wanted him, almost willing me to move forward, but I kept myself down.

“Four…” His body curled up and bent forward like he was in pouncing stance. I forced my eyes to widen as if in fear of him. “Five!” He willed his body forward and jumped onto me. His lips deeply pressed against mine making our kiss intimate and sexy. He started to tug at my shirt and the deep moaning meant told me what he wanted. It wasn’t before long that I had my shirt taken off.

“Oh Ivy.” His voice was a whisper loud enough for both of us to hear; his body gave off short chills also sending them through me. I was straddled on him, one fist was knotted in his hair and the other was rubbing the lump in his pants to keep him satisfied. He traced my neck and back going all the way down to my thigh. His hand moved to my chest, sending shivers through my body. My moan is released, and my breathing becomes heavy. As if I almost cannot breathe. I sit up straight and look around. This just doesn’t feel right… Neil. His name echoed through the back of my head. Neil. My gut told me that something was wrong about Ryan and me making love (I don’t like the term “having sex”) in the living room. I push away from him and sit on the couch, but he doesn’t let me go long, just long enough for me to throw on his shirt that was laid across the ground. “Baby come here.” He patted his lap and I crawled over to him, letting him cradle my body to his. “Baby I’ve been thinking long and hard.” I turn to look at him; his face had gone from seductive to serious. Gently, he nudged me off of him so that he could get a better look at me. “Four years as of yesterday we started to date; do you remember? I asked you out the day of your birthday at your party so that you would have to say yes to me.”

“Yes it has been four happy years, and how could I forget? You bought me a James Avery necklace that engraved will you go out with me.” I remembered happily to the day I was presented with that gift. He dug around his pocket, pulling out a tiny black box. My throat tightened while my head swam.

“Remember two years ago when I told you that I was going to marry you one day?” Oddly my mind traveled to Neil. A long time ago he had too once promised my hand in marriage. No. Ryan is my future; not Neil. I gave him a smile for a reply, but my heart chanted Neil’s name. Neil isn’t coming back!!! It’s Ryan and I we are the future now!!! My heart takes another stab as Ryan gets down on one knee. Hot tears start to roll down my cheeks.

“Ivy Scene,” he looked down while he opened the box. “Will you do me the grand honor of marrying me, Ryan Flaherty?” My head felt light as if my body was floating; I felt lighter than air! Obviously I was not considering next thing I knew all I saw was blood and felt a strong stab of pain in my head.

“Ryan I want Neil….” I was shocked to hear the words come out of my mouth. It was the truth, but I didn’t want Ryan knowing about Neil. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any time to correct myself because next thing I saw was darkness crawling into my vision and blocking out the rest of the world.
… :O
A hand is holding mine.
“Ivy! Ivy! Are you ok?” It’s Clary.
A different hand is holding mine.
He smiles.

Everything goes black again.

... :O
“Ivy please don’t leave us like this!”
Clary again…. Us?
“Ivy stay with me! I lost you once and I’m not going to lose you again!”

Everything is black once again, but I know for a fact that this time I have a smile on my face.

… :O
The bright fluorescent lights burn loudly under my eye lids screaming for me to wake up.

“Clary? Clary where are you?” I panic, I don’t remember anything but a picture of her face in my mind. I look down and see my body stabbed with multiple needles and random machines placed around me. I also see a bag of blood; the smell hits me firsts, strong and hard, almost as if made of complete and pure iron burning into a tube to get quickly back in my body. My left wrist is killing me while shots of pain continue to pulsate through my arm down to my wrist. The tears rain down my face as I look over and see a bright green cast wrapped around, the apparently broken bone, in a corkscrew manner. “Where am I?” I say out loud into what I thought was occupied by no true person. “What is happening to me?” The empty echo of my voice is what I get in response. Eventually, I stop crying over what seemed pointless other than the fact that I was stabbed with needles and stuck in a place that I could now make out as St. John’s hospital. Something squeezes my hand, I look down and see him. Neil. Steaming hot tears roll down my face sloppily landing on my cheeks.

“Shhhh. Baby, you don’t have to cry.” He gently rubbed his thumb back and forth over my hand while the painful tears burst out from my eyes. He leans forward and kisses my cheek. “Man I am jealous of your tears.” I sniffle a little bit and give him a puzzling look, while the tears still steadily rolled down my cheeks. He traces the border line of my face, “I want to be born in your eye, live on your cheeks and then eventually die on your lips.” I chuckle slightly at his cheesy, but romantic attempt to make me stop crying; and this is why I love him…. I love him. The words seem to echo oddly in the back of my mind. The thought made me happy, but also a little bit frightened by the thought that what I once thought that my love went to Ryan…Ryan!!!

“Neil do you know where Ryan is?” I pause and think for a moment. “Wait, what happened to me?” His sigh was long and deep, making the room hot with the Carbon Dioxide that he breathed out. Wow talk about being a total and complete nerd. His face went almost completely hollow.

“He’s the reason you are here.” He looked down letting his hair fall over his face hiding him away from me. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left so abruptly.” He brought his face to look up at me, his eyes sparkled brilliantly. “That’s why I came back for you.” I stared at him in disbelief.

“You had a right to leave me.” I looked away out towards the window. The city lights danced wildly in the dark night sky almost looking like stars joining hands while fluttering across the midnight sky. Truly magical I believe. A small no escaped from his lips almost as if the whole situation was not my fault. “What. You know that it is true Neil. I lied to you, and I deserved what I got.” I met his eyes and watched the pain flicker through them repeatedly. “I remember thinking the day that I met you, that if I told you my real age, then you wouldn’t want to talk to me.” My lip raises up in an attempt of a half smile. “You were so set on making that stupid basket. You and your man slippers.” Clary had given the rightful nick-name of his weird looking manly slipper things. He laughed as if he could reply the moment so vividly in his head almost as if watching a movie and then replaying the parts that you could memorize by heart because you have watched it over one billion times.

“Look. I’m back. I told you that I was coming back. Didn’t you get my letter?” Oh crap, the letter.

“Neil; you left me for good five years ago. I was ‘too young for you.’ What’s the difference now that I am eighteen?” My tears had come to a complete stop, but they still stung from the salty tears that were just previously pouring down my face like a waterfall.

“Ivy, just because I left doesn’t mean that I wanted to. I love you.” He draws a long breath and then closes his eyes. “Loved you then, love you still…”

“Always have, and always will.” I finished his sentence as if it had become something natural. He squeezed my hand firmly, but with lots of affection. Yet another tear had made its way to my cheek; Neil had come out of pure love. This must be something of a dream. Maybe I am in a coma. That’s it I have been in a coma this whole entire time and Neil truly didn’t come back. Wow ok well if this is a dream then I am going back home. I try to sit up, but a pain that is too severe for words shot down to my left wrist again.

“Hey babe take it easy, the doctor said that your arm will be sore for awhile.” I laid back down and stared at my feet. His hand pulled my chin towards him, so that I could see his face. “I am not going to leave you Ivy. I can promise you that.” At first he looked as though he were about to do something awkward, but instead he leaned forward and kissed my forehead lightly. His lips lingered over my skin sending tiny little shivers down my spine and hot stabs of pain into my heart.

“Am I interrupting something?” Ryan came into view holding flowers, possibly for me. Neil, still lingering above me, sighed deeply then pushed away. He walked towards the door.

“Nope she is all yours.” He smiled, slapped Ryan’s shoulder briskly, and then hastily walked out the door. Ryan came into the tiny hospital room that was not shared by anyone, but me. He set the flowers that he had bought on the cabinet next to my bed. A tiny box was at the bottom of the roses sent my heart sinking into my already clenched heart. Ryan sat down where Neil was previously sitting and stared at his folded hands between his knees; he let out a deep sigh that filled up the empty feeling in the room.

“I believe that was Neil wasn’t it?” His head still hung low, and his hair covered up his face, but I looked at him in almost pure disbelief. How did he know his name? Have they talked at all? Was Neil in here the whole time and Ryan just got here? It seemed almost as if he could read my mind, “the last thing you told me was that you wanted him.” His voice trailed off into a dark silence. The statement made my head swim. All I can do is let out a small whimper and for the very first time in a while he looks at me straight in the eyes. “I know that you love him.” He stood up silently, “and since I love you.” He opened the door slightly as if about to exit, but instead swiftly returns to my bed side while whispering in my ear. “I’ll set you free little bird.” His lips pressed hard against mine, I knew that this was the last time I would ever feel that same steel lip ring pressed against my lips. He pulled away and for a split second I could see pain in his eyes, but then, like as if it were magic, he vanished through the door. I squeaked; no reply. A loud groan escapes from my throat, but still got no reply what so ever. Tears rolled frantically down my cheeks and for the first time since Neil left me I screamed. And I didn’t scream alone, my heart screamed right along with me; a chorus of pain and depression.

I growled at the Jell-o that tasted like throw up being shoved in my face. The green slimy goo still continued to hover just inches away from my face. I snapped at the hand that was trying to fees me and smirked as the spoon, with the disgusting flavor of barf on it, slowly retreated to the trash can.

“Ivy come on! You have to eat at least a little something! That stupid liquid that you get fed through those tubes of you are not going o be enough for you to live on.” Clary tossed the Jell-o into the trash can and laid down on the couch. She was defeated and clearly, she knew it. A few, but what seemed like hours, moments later Neil slipped into the room with a couple balloons.

“These are from some guy named…” He pulled a tiny card out from his left pocket. “Jake Richardson?” A shrilly squeak escaped the depths of my throat. Clary was quickly on her feet and across the room. She smiled sweetly acting as if she were innocent, her? HA! Yeah right you have more chances of a raccoon falling n love with you than you do Clary being innocent.

“I think that I can take care of these.” A deep relief washes over me as she opens the window and releases them into the air. I giggle because I can almost hear a faint voice yelling about the release of his balloons. Oh what a loser Jake truly was.

“That wasn’t very nice.” Neil mumbles under his breath. He sits down on his usual chair next to my bed. “So how are you doing baby girl?” His smile always had some weird way of cheering me up.

“She’s not eating her Jell-O.” Clary grumbles while she heads to the door with a bucket to get more ice.

“Well what kind did you give her?”

“Um watermelon? Who eats any other kind?” She rolls her eyes as she walks quietly out the door.


“Come again?” Clary pokes her head back in the door way.

“While you are out and about get her some strawberry Jell-O. That is the kind that she likes after all.” Clary just leaves the room while mumbling incoherently about something like why do I have to do all the work. Neil grabbed hold of my hand making it warm. “You ok baby?”

“Yeah I am fine.” My voice came out jagged and rough as if I might have taken sand paper and, just for the heck of it, scraped it around my throat.

“Baby, your voice sounds like a bee with strep throat. Let it rest okay hun?” I grumbled something, but I knew that he wouldn’t be able to understand my mumbling, I don’t even think that I could. “The doctors said that you lost a lot of blood.” This would be one of those no s*** Sherlock moments, I mean come on. I hit my head on what I thought was a “stylish” metal coffee table. So much for listening to any furniture sales person; next time I think I might try like a fluffy feathery coffee table. “Just let me know if you get light headed okay?” I rolled my eyes as far up as they could go. “You just have me worried that is all.” Hmmm that’s odd, because for the past five years I don’t think I would have mattered to you at all, since I was the “crazy chick from my hood.” It still kind of hurt to think that Neil thought I was crazy. It’s not my fault the dude fell for a thirteen year old. I wiggled my toes, making sure that they would stay awake because nobody likes the feeling of pins and needles in your feet, it’s just plain annoying. He stroked the hair out of my face and whispered like sweet honey into my here, “I am truly sorry for leaving you.” He brought his hand up my arm delinquently almost as if I may break. “These past five years without you.” He shook his head and looked me deeply in the eyes, “they were unbearable. How many times I picked up my phone and wanted to call you so badly.” His hand was now holding my face up so that we were only inches from a perfect kiss. The sugary stroke of his silky pink lips sent petite quivers up and down my whole body. Making my own lips crave the delectable taste of his kiss. His kiss came down strong and bold at first, but then the outer layer slowly melted away like a drumstick ice cream cone would on a hot summer’s day by the beach. It’s just us. The thought of Neil and I together made my head swim around in circles. It was just then that I realized I wanted him, badly. I needed him; my soul was already in a mouthwatering crave for every kiss he gave me. My body tingled with the electricity from the intensity being sent from his heart into mine. His tongue swept through my mouth washing every bit of anything that I had left. It was as if he magically took all the pain and hurt away with just one simple kiss. I wish he would have stayed with me for all these years. I missed homecoming, prom, just Friday night dates, graduation….. Graduation. The word seemed to echo throughout my mind as if it were supposed to trigger something of my memory. Oh my gosh! Graduation! Is that where Clary ran so hurriedly off to? Is that why Sam isn’t here!! What day is it?! I raked my brain for ideas on how to ask without sounding like golem from Lord of the Rings. I did the sign language for day which seems pretty lame, but I mean that’s all they teach you in Girl Scouts isn’t it? That and how to scare people into buying their cookie…jeesh, Girl Scouts still terrify me. I am pretty sure that he understood, because he nodded his head slightly. “It’s Saturday.” I was so tired. My eyelids grew heavy becoming harder to open with every blink I took eventually not opening for I was deep in thought about my not-so-perfect valedictorian speech that I hadn’t quite nailed yet.

“Ivy.” A voice called after me, but the person was unrecognizable. Her voice was sweet, familiar, but still not in the reaches of my brain. I followed a line to the source of the voice. A woman standing in the middle of meadow on a soft spring day, she looked like home.

“Mom?” She seemed to be luminous as she turned towards me with a warm smile. She held her arms out to me as if welcoming me back home.

“My dearest child; I was hoping to see you soon.” She embraced me with the smells of lavender and oranges. Her touch gave off warmth that could only be described as love, and her smell brought tears to my eyes because it was the smell of happiness. Something that lately I have been lacking. “Look at you.” She held me by my shoulders trying to get a good look at me. Her bright smile widened. “I never would have imagined that you would have turned out this beautiful.” Her smile turned into a troubled look. “Does something trouble you my dear?” I look at her in disbelief and then remember that all moms can tell when something is wrong; I guess growing up without one really brings me down.

“No.” I rub the tears from my face with my shirt sleeve, “it’s just that I wish you were here…” I look around and quickly rethink my choice of words. “I meant I wish you were home; with me.” She sat down in the middle of a flower bed of roses and lilies; something that you don’t see every day.

“Come sit by me hija.” I smile at the familiar use of Spanish. I sit next to her and then move to sit in her lap. She cradles me in her arms as if I am nothing but a small child to her no matter my true age of 18. “I watch over you sweet heart. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” She started to slowly rock me and I could feel things start to slip out of the reality of my dream. “A la nanita nana nanita ella nanita ella. Mi nina tiene sueno, benedito sea, benedito sea.” She waited a little bit and then kissed the top of my head. “Te querro tu mi hija.” A tear rolled down my cheek as the scene dissolved into nothing but darkness.

“I love you too mom.”

“As if! You still look gorgeous!” Clary and I stood in front of the floor length hospital mirror in my room. Something that Clary had cleverly requested be in my room. A goofy smile was spread across my face because thoughts of getting out of here and going to prom tomorrow night were just too exciting to keep all bottled up inside of me. However, I was not smiling at the fact that Clary had arranged for me to have a blind date to the prom, and that I had on a stupid lime green cast when I was going to be wearing an elegant midnight blue dress.

“Clary, don’t get me wrong. I love the dress!” I turned away from the mirror to face her, “but this!” I shove my annoying color of green cast, which covered a good portion of my forearm wrist and hand, in the air between us. “Is so totally not what I wanted in my prom picture!” I sheepishly look down to the ground. “It’s not like I am going to be prom queen anyways, but still.” She casually turned her back towards me as if not listening, or that she could care less. “Plus I would like to know who my prom date is. It makes me feel weird not knowing who I am going with for MY prom. As in MY only prom.” I put some emphasize on the “my” because I hoped that she didn’t pick some loser, or just a complete idiot like Brett. Yuck. That boy was fine and he was a good trumpet player, but man! Talk about getting on your nerves like twenty-four seven!

“Look Ivy I know the dress isn’t your favorite color.” She was totally side stepping my whole tirade about the blind date thing. “And the green cast clashes with it.” She walked around to the other side of me and rested her head on my shoulder giving me a pouty look. “You look beautiful and my mommy already bought the dress for you.” Her little puppy eyes widened as she pretended to sniffle and wipe the “tears” from her eyes. Her hands found their way to my face and moved it so I was facing the mirror once again. I don’t even look like me at all; not that it’s a bad thing, but the person who was standing in front of me looked like nothing but a familiar stranger. Her hair laid flat against her face, and the navy blue dress grabbed all of her curves in the right way showing off her natural non-prostatic boobs. The navy blue against her skin worked, but what truly surprised me was the flow at the end really worked. Ha! I thought flow was like so last year, but I guess that it isn’t. I know that I looked pretty in this dress…but the thought of going to prom without Neil just seemed truly awkward. His name, even though by now I had said it so many times, still made my stomach flip-flop like a twisted pancake. “Did you just hear anything I said?” I slowly shake my head guessing that maybe if I let whatever she soak in then I might remember. “Neil is coming back up!” Quickly I haul the dress off, and it makes it a little bit difficult since I still had a few needles in me, and throw back on some of my normal clothes which consisted of: Tattered bubble gum jeans, a “I only date ninjas” shirt, my favorite black chocker, and of course Clary and I’s signature accessory a black bow. One single knock on my door sends me flying to my bed and my heart racing.

“Man this Jake kid is desperate!” Neil side steps into the room holding a gigantic stuffed bear with large print saying “I was an ass” on the bear’s stomach. Wow that is attractive. Where did he even buy that? Neil tossed the bear next to the trash can on the floor and resumes his seat next to my bed. “You sure about the prom baby? Just you and I could go somewhere.” A flash of nervousness crosses his face almost as if he didn’t want to go.

“I am going to be fine. Plus it’s not like I have a date or anything. I am just going with Clary and a group of girlfriends to hang out there and maybe dance for a few songs.” I crossed my fingers hoping that he wouldn’t be able to detect the lie that so easily slid in my voice. “Besides, Clary already bought me a dress!”

“I just want to be with you.” I looked deep into his eyes as the swallowed me whole, “I just cannot bear the thought that you might be in some other guys arms tomorrow night.” I could see the hurt in his eyes, I could even feel the hurt in his slowing pulse from his fingertips. “It just really hurts.” I put one hand up to his cheek and just hold it there.

“Don’t worry, I promise nothing bad will happen.” However I knew for a fact that I could not promise this because, of course, Jake would be there hopefully with a date; and if things really turned out the way I wanted them to then he would be going with Sarah Pock so his time would be completely fixed on rich b**** number one. Ugh. She was like… a hateful hag from hell was pretty much the best way that I could describe her at the moment. Or Medusa, that would help describe her too. “I think that I can take care of myself.” He gave me a doubtful look and opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but the over speaker, thankfully, interrupted his train of thought.

“Ivy Scene! Nurse to Ivy Scene!” Looks like it was time to get all of these uncomfortable tubes out of my body, not like there was that many left anyways, but still; it was like hell trying to get that dress on and off not to mention my real clothes.

“Hello darling.” The familiar Brooklyn ascent made me smile a little bit. I could tell which nurse that was from like a mile away.

“Well hello Nurse Larocca!” I slid my fingers out of Neil’s grip easily. “See you in a little bit.” He looked from me to Clary, who was leisurely sprawled out on the couch obviously tired from the sudden rush of Neil’s return.

“Why doesn’t she have to leave?” His voice was an icy cold blade that he used to defend himself when upset or thought something was unfair. Clary lifted her head up just so that she could look him in the eye with the return of an icy blade. Jeesh, you would think that civilized people could at least hide their discomfort!

“Because stupid, I have something called a brain! And by law only smart people can stay when the little tubes are being taken out.” She laid her head back down smiling at her defeat on him. I thought that I had heard Neil mumble something about him having to stay and Clary going if that was the case, but I chose to ignore anymore bickering that came from either parties. He stumbled out of the room closing the door behind him, but I could tell that he had not gone far because I could still catch a glimpse of him through the window meaning that he if he was supposed to leave the room, then he would do it very reluctantly.

“Ok Ivy we are going to take these tubes right out of you and then put you in a wheelchair.” She got an alcohol patch and pressed it firmly to my arm.

“I’m pretty sure that I can walk though.” I cringed as the needle slowly made its way out of my skin. The sliding feeling made me woozy, so keeping up a conversation was probably the best thing for me right now.

“Oh please doll.” She unwrapped the tape off of my little E.T. devise; it wasn’t really an E.T. devise, it just made me think of the stupid movie about the alien and the little boy. I motioned for Clary to grab my dress, but she was already on top of it tackling the dress bag to fit lazily across her arms. “Can you get into the wheel chair doll?” She smacked on her gum and brought the wheel chair close to my bed. I grimaced at the pain that I hadn’t noticed was there while sitting down, but hobbled my way over to the chair.

“Just wheel me over to the door. I am sure that Neil will want to wheel me the rest of the way.” She gave me a small wink and opened the door.

“She is all yours cutie pie.” She winked at Neil and walked off probably to just go flirt with one of the doctors that were just hanging around with nothing at that moment to do.

“Uh… I am going to go home and…” She looked around as if trying to remember something very important.

“You were going to go get my things that I left at your house and then bring them back over later.” I said almost as if trying to remind her that she wasn’t supposed to say anything about my dress to Neil because I didn’t want to cause him any pain when he saw me in it since I had already done enough of that.

“Yeah! That!” Clary dashed down the hall and hopped into the closet elevator.

“Jeesh what is her problem.” Neil started into a slow stride and pushed me toward the elevator.

“Oh she gets kind of squeamish when she is around blood and hospital stuff like that.” He looked at me pretty doubtful as if he could see through my, what I thought was good lie. “She has had bad experiences with hospitals.” I made my face look as though it might as well have been carved from stone. Neil just looked up ahead watching the elevator and trying not to look at the people being rolled by us on stretchers. We went slowly passed patients, well little kids specifically, crying about pain and truthfully it made me just a little bit squeamish. I wanted to help those poor people, but I don’t think that I would be able to be around people all day like that without completely losing my mind. “Uh Neil could we please just speed up? I want to go home.” He didn’t respond, but I could feel our speed increase. He didn’t stop at the elevator like Clary had, but he took a sharp left instead and headed out the front doors. Where the heck did Clary go? Like almost everybody else in this whole darn world, Neil seemed to easily read my mind.

“She parked her car in the garage. Well her parents came later and dropped it off along with a few of her over night things.” Overnight things? How long was I in the hospital? Again, creepishly, he answered my question. “You were here for about two days Ivy. Don’t you remember falling asleep?” I shook my head hastily not remembering anything past this morning. “Hmph. Figures. With all of that medicine that they have been giving you, I didn’t expect you to awake until tomorrow. They really drugged you up baby.” I was about to ask what they used, maybe roofies? Oh please Ivy, we are in a hospital. They are not going to use date rape drugs to keep me knocked out. But the thought vaguely stayed in my mind until I realized something scary. My car wasn’t here. Um, hello? I just go a sexy new car and what we pulled up to was defiantly not my sexy black car. Instead it was Neil’s old Toyota Tacoma. I did a silent protest, but was also thankful that we were taking his car. It reminded me of days when things used to be just me and him and not this utterly confusing love.. square? Ugh I hated feeling like Sarah, a skank, all the time. How on Earth could I handle three guys?! Even though technically Ryan had left me, the thought of that oddly made my stomach flip flop. I had Alex, Ryan, and Neil. That was plenty enough guys right? Not to mention any other guy… Well crap! I totally forgot about my little “problem” with Jake. Ugh. This boyfriend issue is starting to wear me out and if it gives me black circles under my eyes then someone is going to have to pay for the make-up that I use to cover those up! Completely submerged into a world of my own, I didn’t even notice that Neil had taken me into his arms and gently placed me on the old seats of his car. Ok, his car wasn’t dirty, but it also wasn’t very clean at all. The old truck did seem to have the same smell that wrapped around Neil, and truthfully right now it felt really good to be here, almost like it is perfect. Hmph. That’s kind of funny how much just a truck can remind you of the past, but it is also something that I miss so dearly. “Ivy did you hear me?” His voice makes me jump a little bit, but I soon pull myself together.

“Um. Yeah I am ready to go.” I pulled the seat belt, that in an emergency could supposedly save my life, but I still have no idea how that could happen.

“Alright off we go.” I watched as the hospital was quickly out of view and slowly, soundlessly drifted off to sleep.

I remember waking up just before we turned down my street.

“I am glad that you could wake up before we got here. I would have hated waking you up. You look like a little child when you sleep soundly; not like when you were in the hospital, then you looked scared and almost not normal.” He smirked a little and teasingly added, “Oh and you had dark circles under your eyes.” I would have blown up, but something caught my eye as it lingered on my steps. My first thought that ran through my mind was Jake which scared me to… well it sure did scare me and I felt my eyes widening in fear. Neil’s features instantly carved out of stone which freaked me out a little bit. As the small truck got closer to my house, a face materialized from the dark shadows that danced on my porch as the sun kissed the horizon letting the moon slowly and calmly rise. A name escaped from lips underneath my breath, but it was so low that it could not be heard. “What did you say baby.” I recognized that tone of his voice, it was the back-off-kid-she’s-mine-now kind of tone. Neil pulled into the driveway and almost instantly his head snapped up to get a good look at us. Neil’s face grew grim and cold; turning from a marble that might be soothing to a black asphalt that had no comfort in it at all.

“Uh…It’s just Alex. I think that I will be fine.” I get out of the truck on my side and come around to Neil’s side and tap on the window carefully. The window rolled down, but Neil’s gaze was locked onto Alex who squirmed nervously under the icy cold gaze of Neil.

“I think that I should stay.” He got a grin so horrible the only place that it could be worn without looking odd would be The Devil’s or Jake’s face; and both were horrible beyond belief. “Plus Matt left his skinning knife in the back.” His gaze never tore from Alex, whom of which by the way looked extremely uncomfortable as he fidgeted with his fingers like a little kid who has been blamed for eating the cookies out of the cookie jar when obviously it was the kid who still had crumbs caked onto his face.

“No Neil. He isn’t bad.” He tore his gaze from Alex to me now, but his gaze softened and the smile that had scared me like crazy before now easily rested into his normal smile. I smiled at him softly in return. “I can handle things on my own as I had said before.” He looked at me doubtfully, but instead of listening to him protesting any longer I put my head in and kissed him on the cheek. I pulled away fairly quickly and hobbled over to where Alex, now standing, was waiting for me. As if daring for Alex to lay one hand on me, Neil revved his engine from behind us as he backed down the drive way. As I reached the steps, finally, Alex smirks and comes behind me to hold my waist with one hand and my had with the other gently balancing me so I could easily walk up the steps. A loud honk came from behind us making us both spin around and watch as Neil drove by with his middle finger high in the air. “Oh my gosh. I am so sorry for that!” The last thing I expected to happen just then, did. Alex erupted with laughter.

“No, I am sorry that your boyfriend is such an ass.” I could feel my cheeks burn a bright red as he mentioned that Neil was my boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered sweetly in my ear, “but if I must share you, then I must.” He opened the door right as I was about to protest, but his voice had gone all seductive and I couldn’t help but fall into his arms and let him carry me to the couch that awaited to have me between the cushions safe. He set me down easily, I watched his eyes, but they did not flicker colors, only gave off what looked like want. His eyes could have been a spell as I leaned forward to kiss him intimately as if the rest of the world was at a non-existence, but before I could lean into him, he jumped up and swiftly, but smoothly, moved over to the fridge. “Beer?” A deep whine came from my throat signaling that a beer right now was probably not the best thing for me. “Jeesh Ivy. We don’t have any wine around here.” Despite that I was feeling like utter poop I stifle a little giggle and then abruptly stop as a hollow feeling inside of my chest appears. “Oh how about a nice cold strawberry popsicle.” I threw my hand up in the air to show that he had my approval to put the popsicle stick into my hand so I could gingerly suck until it was soft enough to bite into without making my teeth sore from the bitter cold. The familiar wooden stick made its way to my hand as Alex hops over the other side of the couch and gets on his knees shuffling over to me.

“Oh my gosh, please Alex if you are going to propose to me just get out of my house right now.” He laughs a little, but stops abruptly almost as if something has cut off the air from within him. I turn to look towards him and find him oddly staring at me already about three inches from my face.

“Now why would I ask you.” He moved a strand of hair that blocked him from seeing both of my eyes, “when I hardly even know you as a person.” His voice got seductive and made me want to drowned in his handsome voice forever and ever. The sound just was so appealing to me that it was truly amazing that I could keep myself together in front of him. His breath smelled minty and sweet like honey dew melon. My favorite smelling fruit, but I don’t like the taste. It’s just a little too sweet for my liking. “I am going to ask if you want to go to the prom with me however.” His voice came out like silk that I hadn’t even realized what he said until it finally clicked in about two minutes later. I frowned deeply.

“Oh Alex,” I took his hand in mine and squeezed it lightly, “I truly would love to go with you, but Clary has already set up a blind date for me to go with.” I look from the ground up to his eyes. “I am really sorry.” As always the boy surprised me with his reaction. He threw his head back and just laughed. Maybe not directly at me, but something like oh-my-gosh-I-can’t-believe-you-just-said-that kind of laughing.

“Um news flash Ivy. Clary chose me.” He had a grin on so big that it made him look like a fool, but it was still pretty cute. A smile smeared its way across my face, so I probably looked like a stupid moron who just figured out that the birds and the bees are not what they seem to be. Ok ew? Since when did I think about sexual stuff like that. Ugh gross.

“Well then of course.” My smile shrunk down to what probably looked like a lazy tired smile, “I would love to go to prom with you Alex.” A yawned slipped through my lips which surprised me, I actually didn’t feel tired at all, so it was weird to hear myself yawn. Oh Great! I stare down at the melted popsicle that has literally become a puddle of pink goo in my hands. Jeesh couldn’t a girl like me get a break at least every once in a while? I dropped the popsicle stick and whatever remained of the mutilated flavored ice on the coffee table. It looked like some little kid had eaten strawberry ice cream and then threw it up on my arm. Yuck. I ran around the room in a flurry trying to find some sort of cloth to wipe this goo off of my arm so that I could peacefully sleep, instead of worrying that my hair might stick to my arm. Finally, I pull a towel out of the dryer and wipe off the goo. Some still had not come off, but there was not much that I could really do about that.

“Here,” Alex was at the base of the stairs with his shirt off; carefully I tip toe over to him trying not to step on beer cans that were thrown about the floor. He grabbed me by the forearm and pulled me forward a little bit. I struggled a little bit to get out of his icy grip, but he kept firm. “Hold on baby. Just be still.” Utterly defeated I just let him wipe the remains of the popsicle with his shirt.

“But now your shirt is going to be all sticky!” I protested as he was cleaning up the last of it and pushed me up the stairs.

“I don’t mind.” He gently tossed his shirt onto my bedroom floor. Then he swooped me off of my feet and gingerly placed me down on my bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

“You’re not leaving me…are you?” His eyes showed to reflection of my hurt eyes as he had tried, or so I thought, to pull away from me. Smiling he took off his pants, which revealed Mario Kart boxers, jeesh what a nerd.

“You kidding me? I am spending the night.” He easily climbed over my body to sleep on the other side closet to the wall. We laid quietly next to each other; both baffled and not truly sure on what to say at all. Finally I couldn’t take this silence since obviously I was not going to sleep at this exact moment anyways.

“Wow. It is kind of cold in here.” Without any further saying Alex rolled over and held me. At first his touch was awkward, almost like a teacher holding onto a student, but eventually it faded and turned into old lovers who haven’t had a touch in minutes, but still could somehow miss each other desperately. Slowly I closed my eyes and snuggled closer to Alex. His warm embrace sent me on a rowboat across the sea of dreams peacefully and happy.
“Alex?” I pace nervously around the small area that I seem to be confined in, trapped like a helpless animal made for a greater destination; but instead of hitting the walls I couldn’t move, I was frozen. So I stopped…. “Where are you!?” I jerked around helplessly in my mind compelling myself to move forward until finally, I walked; then I walked a little more, and then a little more, until I was walking frantically toward a light that seemed to almost appear out of nowhere. Finally reaching the light, I found a magnificent waterfall and I was standing on a cliff overlooking it all. It fell down for as far as the eye could see. Footsteps startle me as I jump around to find Alex.

“I am right here.” Alex raised his arms above his head almost looking like an embrace, but where his eyes should have been were cold dark holes that looked like they were carved from stone. “But where are you?” He pushed me just enough so that I fell down the falling tower of water forever.
I wake up to the loss of a presence that kept me company throughout my slumber.

“Crap.” I mutter under my breath as I take in my surroundings and look around my room. He had left me alone; maybe that explained this odd dream. Sitting up, I could see more clearly around my poorly lit room, but just enough to see his pants still laying on the ground from where he had tossed them on the ground last night. Suddenly I smelled something that sent my taste buds screaming for a taste. “Mmm something smells delicious.” Rolling off my bed I noticed that I was oddly in my crappy 50 cent pajamas when I fell asleep fully clothed. How did I get in these? I don’t remember putting on any clothes. That was something feared would not be in my memories, but in his. The thought made me chuckle a little bit as I reached the stairs and started to descend them.

“I am guessing that you are awake now?” His voice floated up the stairs and wrapped around me. I reached the bottom of the stairs until I answered him, why I am not sure.

“Yes.” The air was thick with the smell of pancakes, oranges, eggs, and various vegetables being tossed together in a pan. This must be a dream. Afraid that I might break the fragile dream I tip-toed into the kitchen only to find Alex, still in his Mario boxers, flipping pans and cooking. Without even thinking I let a cheesy pick-up line slip through my lips, “What’s cookin good lookin?” He turns to me with a wide grin.

“I made pancakes, fresh orange juice, and an omelet to share.” Wow I pretty much just called that one. Awesome point for me! He pointed behind me and to my own surprise he pointed to something that caught me in awe. The table had a yellow and white checkered table cloth and pink roses in a vase in the middle as a centerpiece a plate stacked high with pancakes awaited me along with a pitcher of fresh orange juice. He pushed gingerly on the small of my back. “Right this way my lady.” His voice was a soothing wave that flowed over my body that relaxed me all the way to the bone. My cheeks burned the color of the roses while he pulled out a chair for me to sit down; as graciously as I can I sit down, but it turns out to look like a spaz rat movement. My chair slowly crept forward and a napkin eventually found its way onto my lap. Alex walks back over to his frying pan; then cautiously he turns around only to find me staring at him with a blank expression on my face. “Sweetheart if you’re hungry then you can go ahead and eat; I will be right there in a second.” Blankly I turn to look at the staring pancakes and almost as if they grew eyes, they were watching me in anticipation to become my breakfast. Almost as if the orange glass would dissolve into thin air I poured myself a glass of orange juice into the tall clear glass softly and slowly. Slowly I take the first bite, of what now I can only describe as fluffy heaven, and give into the delicious taste eventually diving back into the plate for more. For the whole entire meal I don’t think that I put my fork down once, but I know that I didn’t touch the glass of orange juice. I am going to save that for last. After my plate was cleaned about 1,000 times over, I picked up the glass tenderly tilting it back until the orange liquid met my lips. As the glass was licked clean I realized I hadn’t noticed Alex at all! Frantically I look around, but he was sitting on the window ceil with a small, but gorgeous, ukulele. Brown with a golden trim surrounded the outside with a white circle around the middle.

“Alex?” He hand starts to rhythmically strum over the strings and oddly I remember the chords and the way he is using them. Suddenly I remember the song. It was actually like my favorite song in the world, a song that reminded me of back when I was thirteen and in LOVE with Christopher Drew, well I still am but that is beside the point.

“I've been waitin my whole life. For a someone like you. To go and pick me up. And take away my blues. It's been one hell of a year. In my own shoes. But I got some questions for you…” His voice memorized me as the soft chords he played matched his voice in clear perfection. His voice matched the singer so wonderfully I felt like he was just lip syncing. I almost spoke, but I held my tongue because I knew that it wasn’t over. My favorite part was next. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Did it hurt just to know I was right here awaiting? Did you know? Did you know? It was love from the first time we touched.” His voice broke off and the ukulele left an echo throughout the house. He turned from the outdoors and watched me suspiciously. “I am guessing that you are done?” He set the instrument on a counter and moved to my side.

“Uh.” My voice kind of came out in an odd stutter, “yeah I think that I am.” He picked up my plate and placed them inside the sink. To myself I noted that I would have to wash those later. “Alex.” I managed to get up and move stiffly over to him.

“Yup?” He called over his shoulder almost carelessly.

“You never told me you could sing.” The water was cut off abruptly and he turned to me. I was expecting an icy look, but was greeted with a warm smile. He wrapped his arms around me protectively I buried my face into his chest as he gently stroked me hair.

“Simple. You never asked.” I don’t laugh, but kind of snort in response.

“Am I interrupting something?” Clary’s voice rose from my left side which kind of made me jump, but not enough to jump out of Alex’s arms. “Because if I am, then I don’t care.” She grabbed my elbow and wrenched us apart. Some weird part of me just wanted to forget that tonight is prom even though I am going with Alex. Who is not my boyfriend! I have too many guys, jeesh I need a break from all of this. “Sorry but I have to steal her away.” She lugged me up the stairs, only getting about to the bottom one because of my resistance.

“Do I at least get my clothes back?” He stood there and gave Clary his best attempt at looking pitiful. And truthfully, it kind of worked. I mean since he was standing there with nothing on, but his Mario Kart boxers. Clary sighed and slowly went down the stairs. She pushed on his chest hard and he stumbled out the door.

“Later skater!” She closed the door and locked it; thank God that my doorbell broke years ago because hearing the pounding on the door was enough to annoy me. She ran back over to me, “Ok let’s get shakin bacon!” She laughed as she lugged me up the stairs. I caught a glimpse of the clock that hung on the wall. Oh. My. Gosh. We didn’t have another six hours until we actually had to leave. Sigh. This is going to be a very long six hours in cosmo hell.

“Clary I am not coming out,” trust me it’s not like I look bad in my dress or anything, well kind of. The cast like totally kills the sexy-drop-dead-gorgeous look that actually took up all of the six hours that we had. Looking in the mirror made me get all misty eyed. If only my mom and Nana could see this. Gosh, I haven’t talked to Nana since I was a little kid. Boy I do wish she were here for me . . . but I don’t even know where to begin to look. Maybe the phone book will have something for that. Note to self; look for Nana and ask her to come to graduation.

“Ivy let me in!!” Clary’s loud pounding on the door snapped me back from my mental lala moment. Wow. My black hair was curled, but only at the bottoms and my bangs were perfectly straight. I almost looked like a fictional character, my dress fit perfectly around my body making my curves stand out against the dark navy blue fabric. Clary had done my make-up, because apparently when I do make-up I make people look like a tree elf or something, but she had done it to perfection. My eyes were a smoky charcoal black, not too dark, but also not too light. What will Jake do? The thought has been lingering in my mind all day, and it scared me to death to think of me being in the same room as him. Well I am going to have to face him now or later. I wanted so desperately to face him later, but I knew that it would do no good. I wonder where Ryan ran off to. The thought made my heart sink as I remembered the night that he left me alone, screaming, in the hospital. Since then I had so desperately wished that it was a dream, that one day he will just knock on my door and ask if I was ok, or he would bring me flowers and “get well” balloons. But as each day rolls by I know that there is no way that he is going to come back for me. No matter how much I wish and pray. All I can do is pray that he is safe, and that his broken heart will mend easily. I ran across my room and fished out the little box I had stored in my bedside table. As I watched the tiny box open my stomach twisted. Maybe I should…. “Ivy! I am going to break down the door if you don’t come out here right now!” Clary’s voice was filled with impatience.

“Ok! I am coming!” I clicked my tongue once and grabbed the ring from its holder shoving it on one of my stubby fingers, the one that it was meant to be on.
The skin where it lay tinged a little bit. Pounding on the door was enough to send me flying through the air to grab my purse and unlock the door. “Jeesh Clary! Don’t get your panties all in a wad!” She didn’t laugh instead she shoved a box and note towards me.

“Ivy; Bill left this for you on the doorstep.” Carefully, I plucked it out of her hand giving her a curious, but stern look.

“I wonder what the butty hole of a father wants now.” I shrug my shoulders and open the box. A fragile looking necklace sits on red velvet. The note slipped to the floor and I bend down to pick it up, it reads:
You have grown up fast. I am sorry that I suck as a father. Your mom wanted me to give you this at the right time. So…here.

The note made me feel both upset and angry. How could he have never told me about this?! How could he leave me hanging here, take everything else that my mother left for me, and then the day of my prom leave this?! How could he?! No! How dare him!! Bill infuriated me at times, but this is the farthest and lowest that he has ever gone before! And what? He can’t even tell me this in person? Ugh! If I wasn’t wearing make-up tears would have flown down my face, but I wasn’t about to be late to prom for something caused by Bill. Gingerly, I pick up the necklace and look at it. “Mom.” I can feel the tears threatening to pour down my face and the clenching feeling my heart. I turned to face the door, “can you?” But Clary was opening the door to let Alex in, whom gently grazed my side. He came behind me moving his lips to my ear.

“May I?” He grabbed the necklace from my hands and clipped it on. His voice was honey dropping on top of a cloud, sadly I remember the feeling of his bare skin on mine. The feeling will never have the same effect again. I didn’t know that I was standing there looking like an idiot until Clary grabbed my arm and yanked me towards the awaiting limo.
... :\

“Hey do you know what the theme is for this year? Like everyone I asked just kind of brushed off the question and went on about something else.” I looked skeptically at Alex whom was pulling me to my feet and out of the limousine. “Actually most of the people that I asked didn’t know what the theme was either.” We walked slowly up the stairs to one of the many clubs that my high school owned. Jeesh; sometimes I feel like I am talking to no one but myself.

“I heard that it was supposed to be cool,” he shrugged his shoulders to show that he almost didn’t care at all about anything that had to do with prom, “but I don’t know what the whole theme is supposed to be.” It aggravated me that his tone was the whole oh-I-am-to-cool-for-this. He was the one that asked me to go! At the very least he could act interested. He also gave off the hint that he totally did know what the theme was going to be but felt that he couldn’t tell me. “After you my lady.” He bowed low and opened the door to a hallway that caught me in shock. Blank. Just white walls, ceiling, and tile floor, well except the door at the very end of the hallway, which was black. If the theme was ‘snow’ then they totally could have at the very least put snowflakes made of paper and cotton balls on the walls. But was my school really too cheap to even do that? Yes, of course! Otherwise the walls would have…well something on them! I am going to have a very long talk with whoever was in charge of decorating! Apparently I have been either screaming in my head so loudly it leaked out of my ears, or I just complained out loud because Alex let out a long and hard laugh. “No. Trust me it is a whole lot cooler than this.” Well at least he sounds a little more enthusiastic about this whole thing. He smiled as we walked down the hall. I looked around because, call me crazy, but the walls seemed to stretch farther and the ceiling seemed to climb higher than before. I only had a glass of apple juice in the limo!

“Alex?” I squeaked from where I stood next to him, but he seemed like this was normal. Maybe he didn’t see it! Was I going crazy? No. “Alex? What’s happening?” He just seemed to shrug off the question and continued to walk down the hallway. “Alex I think that we are at the wrong-.” My voice cut off abruptly considering we just reached the door. From far away the door looked like it was normal size, maybe even a little too small; but now that I look up at the door knob, I have my doubts about it being too small. The doorknob was at least, at the very least, five feet above my head! How the heck are we supposed to get in?! Do we just stand out here and wait for someone to come out of the door and squish us like bugs?! No, I don’t think so. I turned to leave, but Alex caught me by the arm and spun me back around so that I land on top of him.

“Woah. Hold on Ivy. We haven’t even danced one song yet and you want to leave already?” He pushed hard on a smaller part of the door. As if that would open up this massive thing? The small piece of wood that he pushed on creaked in protest, but gave way to reveal the dance floor and almost a foggy forest. Carefully, almost as if I stepped to hard the picture in front of me would shatter, I stepped into the dimly lit room. My breath was an intake of the candy smelling air that smoke machines sometimes made, but I could feel my knees almost give way to the gravity. Alex’s hand was on my lower back the other one intertwined with my fingers. “Ivy,” he whispered in my ear, “welcome to wonderland.” He pushed me along something that seemed to act as a make-shift foggy forest trail. Clary was at the end impatiently waiting for us with her boyfriend.

“Ivy!” She ran over to me with her arms spread wide open almost as if I had not just spent the whole day with her trying to get ready, but I opened my arms and hugged her anyways. The boys just awkwardly stood there talking about some stupid sports game that was going on. “Look.” She nodded her head in the direction of girls lining up by the stage, they all had a mask of either nervousness or poison, sometimes girls reminded me of spiders, once someone goes weak and the other needs strength so the weaker one gets eaten. Ew. “They’re lining up to do the catwalk for prom.” She smirked and then squirmed nervously while staring at her feet. I chuckled as one girl dramatically fainted and was rushed to by a group of girls. Ugh, what an attention hogger.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Clary looked a little uneasy. At that moment her boyfriend came and put an arm around your shoulder.

“Hey what are you doing here Mrs. Prom Queen to be?” He eyed me suspiciously.

“Clary you got nominated!! That’s great!” My face twisted into the fakest smile ever. Clary? Prom Queen? She already has enough reason to not be my friend, but jeesh if she wins this than she will never want to hang out with me again. She’ll spend all of her time with Sarah Pock.

“No.” She said awkwardly.

“What do you mean no?” I was truly confused now, but Alex came up behind me and pushed me into the line of girls who waited to get up in front of the crowd.

“Good luck doll!” Alex yelled over the crazy crowd. Me? Nominated to be in the royal court? Hell to the No! I moved to make a bee-line for the punch bowl, but Mr. Snooter stood up and began to talk into the microphone,

“Welcome one and all to our 2010 prom!” Everyone around me cheered loudly. Mr. Snooter grazed the air around him with his arms to show the choices for both the boys and girls, obviously the boys were on the other side of the girls. Forcing my hands to clench and un-clench I panicked. Great! This is just another way to prove that I was uglier than the ugly duckling! “Each contestant will walk down the stage and do a pose at the end of it. After all of the contestants have gone threw for both girls and boys you can vote the next Prom King and Queen!” The crowd roared in approval as the music began to play. Mr. Snooter came over and shook hands with all of the girls occasionally looking down the already to low cut dresses. The song Love Drunk flowed from the speakers’ cueing on the first girl who looked around trying to do the I-am-so-better-than-you walk, but epically failed as she tripped over her own feet. Suddenly I looked around and noticed something was odd. OMG! I AM THE FOURTH PERSON IN LINE!
The girls in front of me must have felt so scared! The crowd would get quiet, or some people would scream. The yearbook kids who were in charge of getting pictures from prom sat in their seat nervous that their job would not be well done. The girl in front of me was coming down off the stage and whispered a small “Good luck” to me as the chorus of the song came on. Slowly I got up the steps and faced the crowd expecting pen-drop silence, but the unexpected, as always, happened. Cameras flashed, people screamed, boys ran up to the side of the stage to be able to just touch my hand if I reached out to them. I smiled; I think that I can do this. I looked both ways and did the-I’m-better-than-you walk that I had secretly practiced just in case that I did get nominated. I reached the end of the stage and was about to turn around to go back. Well I guess I better give them what they want. I turned my body around, but my head was still facing the ground; I winked and blew a sweet kiss before turning back around as the boys in the crowd screamed like a girl who just got kissed by Taylor Lautner. You did well. I walked back to the end of the stage turned around and blew one more kiss that sent the boys around the stage into a frenzy trying to get up onto the stage. I walked off and when I did I walked off no longer scared and self-conscious, but confident and beautiful.

… :)

They took all of the girl contestants behind the curtains all of us eagerly awaiting the results for the top four girls. I was one of the lucky ones that got a spot to peek out of the whole in the curtain as everyone was putting in their ballets into the box at the front of the stage. Wow; that is a lot of people. After what seemed like an eternity Mr. Snooter took an envelope and walked up to the front of the stage while everyone else gathered around the stage in excitement for who won to be crowned queen and king.

“The top four of fifty girls this year are,” he pulled out a piece of paper and read it carefully squinting as his beady eyes grazed over the piece of paper. The anxiety of waiting for this was eating away at me on the inside as I am sure it was with every other girl as they pushed me up to the curtain. “The top four are,” oh my flipping gosh, was he really going to repeat himself in a situation this momentous?! This no time for you to stutter Mr. Snooter! He was doing this on purpose! Just to make me think that I actually might have a chance against all of the other girls who were so much prettier than me! He thinks that I am going to fall for his stupid little mind games, but I won’t! “Number four- Casey Spander,” a few people, obviously her close friends, screamed while the rest clapped loudly in enthusiastic to get all the way up to number one. A short skinny red head came on the stage and took the rose graciously from Mr. Snooter’s hand and walked to sit in the “princess’s” throne. “Number three- Sam Lee,” a tall-pole like girl with short blonde hair jumped on stage with a little ballet dance and took the flower out of his hand and sat down in her chair watching the crowd like all of them were lower than her. “Number two- Sarah Pock,” yuck, I know her.

“Oh my God, finally.” Sarah flipped her hair and walked out doing the princess wave to the crowd who roared with cheers. When she approached Mr. Snooter who held out half a dozen of roses out to her she snatched the beastly and stomped to her seat gazing longingly at the queen’s chair.

“What a hateful hag.” I mumbled under my breath, but a few girls around me heard and giggled quietly them to themselves.

“And as everyone is waiting for the woman of the night,” Mr. Snooter was handed a dozen roses and a kid, who I have never seen before probably a virgin, came up on the stage holding a crown. “She has won over the hearts of many and now finally I give you the number one girl.” I crossed my fingers and said a silent prayer, but for what? I was not going to walk away tonight happy and chipper about being prom queen. He paused, “Please welcome our 2010 Prom Queen, Ivy Scene!” My heart dropped and it was almost as if the world had stopped, but soon I was pushed out of the curtained area. People all around the stage were screaming and jumping up and down in approval of their new prom queen. Thankfully Mr. Snooter came to meet me half way up the stage because my knees were wobbling like crazy making it almost impossible to walk. Tears of joy filled my eyes as the sash was placed around me by the virgin and Mr. Snooter handed me my roses. He guided me back to my throne thank goodness because my knees were shaking up a storm. Sarah Pock looked at me like I was trash, which truly upset me. Ok this girl needs to get over herself.

“Hey Sarah.” My voice drops down silent so that Mr. Snooter doesn’t look up from his envelope that he is trying so hard to decipher the hand writing. Her eyes narrow as she gives me a long side glance almost as if I didn’t deserve her full attention.

“What do you want?” Her voice came out in a small cat like hiss, which fit her perfectly because her new nose job made her look likes an ugly Persian cat. Flipping my hair I got up and turned to look half way over my shoulder.

“I guess that new nose job did nothing but make you look like your stupid cat.” I smirked delighted with myself for coming up with something that is that smart assy. I am so awesome. I should write a book. Turning I see what I thought, and hoped, was a nightmare. Jake Richardson stood in front of me with a smile as twisted as the tornado that blew Dorothy over the rainbow. His eyes were plain blue, but the rest of his face whispered want, rape, and pain.

“Prom Royalty!” Mr. Snooter pushed me up alongside Jake who had his arms around me in a split second. My face was twisted in disgust, but luckily was hidden from sight. Just keep you cool Ivy, just smile and wave. Forcing on a smile I wave mechanically while Jake’s crown was placed on his head along with his sash and, I don’t know why my school does this because it seems like it is the only school that does, put his cape over his shoulders. Ok now I can get off this stage and go hang out with Clary and Sam. “Now, if the DJ would be so kind, we will have the royal dance. If the princes will please pair up with their selected princesses.” The Royal dance? CRAP! I totally forgot all about this thing! A slow song started to flow out from the speakers; one by one couples gathered on the floor and gently swayed to the music. Not being able to help myself, my eyes quickly swept over the dance floor, no sign of Alex. Jake pulled my body into his arms and gently started to sway to the beat of the slow song, I think that it was Sarabeth by Rascal Flatts, but I am not really sure. His eyes did not quiver to the deep purple, instead they were just watching mine slowly as we moved from side to side in our tiny circle up on the dance floor. He pulled me closer just so that if he bent slightly down he could whisper into my ear.

“You will be mine one day Ivy Scene.” He pulled slowly away from me almost acting as if he had kissed me and the audience below clapped, showing in approval that our dance had been truly “romantic”. Standing there, I felt weak, helpless and scared. Jake came behind me and held my waist while I gracefully curtsied and he bowed low. “Even if I have to kill to get my girl back.” He threw his head slightly to the right showing that he had meant Alex, whom stood at the side of the stage waiting for me to get off.

“Alex?” His name formed nothing on my lips but a small squeak as he ran towards me.

“You did great baby!” As if that were the invisible key to some sort of invisible gate letting in a crowd of people to drowned me. People were surrounding me, everywhere I looked I saw someone complementing me on my hair, my make-up, and most often my dress. But instead of seeing all of that I only saw Jake Richardson staring at me intensely with Sarah Pock who, stupidly, was throwing herself all over him.

“Ivy!” Clary’s voice took me back into the reality of what was happening around me, “you looked so good out there babe!” She grabbed hold of my hand and looked like a proud parent of some super successful teenager like Taylor Lautner, whom of which by the way was like hotness in a bottle.

“Clary?” I don’t understand why I said her name, she was standing right there next to me, it just made me look like an idiot. Clary’s face had gone from proud parent of hotness in a bottle, to concerned parent of a pot child.

“Are you ok? Is something wrong?” I paused. What was I supposed to tell her after all? Oh yeah Alex might be killed tonight by Jake who is still in love with me and may try to rape me, again. Ha! Everything is ay-ok in my world! NO! I would look insane if I tried to say that; and not to mention the ultimate party pooper.

“Actually I just have one thing to say.” Walking through the crowd was not as easy as it looks, and standing on top of a chair in the middle of the crowd, was even harder than it sounds. Everyone’s attention turned to me and stopped talking. “Let’s get this party started!!” People around me cheered as the DJ threw on I Don’t Want to be in Love by Good Charlotte. Everyone was jumping up and down to the beat of the song that pulsed through my body and made my blood jump. Searching the crowd thoroughly I found Alex dancing by Clary throwing his hands in the air having probably the best time of his life. “Alex! I have to go get some punch! I am so thirsty!” Before he could answer I squirm my way off the stage and headed for the back of the stage. I found myself mumbling incoherently while running over to the punch bowl, but as I reach the punch bowl, Jake starts to head my way bumping people to get out of his. Quickly I open the back door and soon regret not bringing a jacket to wear or something that was going to at least keep the cold from creeping along my skin leaving trails of goose bumps. Looking around I discover that I was not the only one who had retreated outside to get away from the chaos of prom. Who is that? “Hello?” I call out to the shadow that was looming around the railroad tracks. I walk a little closer, listening to the gravel crunching this way and that underneath my heels. “Hey you!” The shadow moved slowly looking like it was trying to turn around to see me.

“Ivy? What are you doing out here?” His voice came out raspy and cold he had been waiting for me.

“Ryan?” My voice cracked up to the octave above my normal one. “Ryan what are you doing out here in the cold?” He remained sitting as if danger was not whispered in the winds all around us.

“Thinkin.” He sighed deeply, and I took the opportunity to inch forward just a little bit without him whipping his head around to make me freeze in my tracks.


“I want to go home.” His words were a cold knife to my heart tearing apart a newly sealed flesh wound leaving it bloody and scared.

“You know that your flight leaves tomorrow for home sweet heart.” I try to make my voice sound light and even, although my mind was filled with dread. He glares at me firmly even though the darkness graciously tries to hide most of the icy stare from tearing apart my heart even more.

“Not what I meant.” He hisses through his clenched teeth, “I meant there.” I looked to see what he meant and now I understood. That home. Our beginning and for most of us, our end.

“Stop this nonsense and come inside, I am sure that I could sneak you in as my date or something, they wouldn’t care at all.” I turn my back to the whispers of death and slowly pace back up the crunching gravel to the back door of the club. When I got to the back door I turned to check that Ryan was right behind me, but instead I just hear the sound of what I now know as death. The sound of a train running along the train tracks.

“Ivy!” He bellowed from his place on the tracks, but now he was standing cupping his hands around his mouth. “Do you love me?!” The cold wind got the better of me and stole my voice away from me. Now with my every being I curse that wind of the night for stealing away my only way to save him…. “It’s ok,” it was almost as if the wind carried his whisper to my ear, taunting me, daring me to run and push him out of the way. The horn of the train got closer and the light from the train was bleeding on the tracks now.

“Ryan?” I start running back to the tracks. “Ryan move!” My mind raced as I hurriedly ran over there, not an easy thing to accomplish in high heels. “Ryan please move!” I stopped dead in my tracks for fear that the train would take my own life.

“No Ivy, it is going to be ok.” His voice came out as a soft sweet honey whisper reminding me of the first time that he ever told me that he loved me. “Just don’t forget that I will always love you.” And then came the silence of death. No longer did I hear the horn of the train, or the winds sweet whispers of Ryan’s last words. My world was now obsolete of sound, nothing came to me. My heart slowed as I dropped to my knees.

“Ryan?” No. . . This isn’t right! “Ryan!! Ryan!! RYAN!!” My fists bounded on the gravel. Why didn’t I tell him that I loved him! Why didn’t I just do that?! I could have saved his life!! “RYAN!!!!” I knew my scream would never be answered by his true voice, only the voice of his last words that surrounded me as if mocking me that his death was my fault. I knew that nobody would answer me, but I screamed into the night anyways begging for death to give Ryan back to me.

They found me.

All alone.

On the ground screaming.

It’s weird you know?
I used to think that dead meant lost.

Or maybe even missing for a little while.


Dead means gone.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

“Are you going to stop being annoying?” My voice came out sleepily and annoyed. I wanted to sleep in, this whole week I have been able too since seniors were exempt from the last week of school, thank God.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

“Lady! I am not going to get up!” How many times would I have to tell her this in order for her to understand that I was not going to get out of bed for anything. The covers were ripped off of my body within a split second making me grab my pillow quickly so it too would not slip out from underneath me. The crappy pajamas were now replaced with lavish silk ones, they were a gift from the Wells to sooth my despair. It was sent along with bath fizzies, soaps, perfumes, and a fruit basket. It was a very nice gesture, but nothing could mend the hole in my heart from that night. Thinking about it made goose bumps crawl up my legs and my back, tears were always threatening to rinse the grime off my face and my throat got tense, it’s like when you know you are about to cry, which I know that we can all say we felt when that stupid bully would pull on your pig tails and throw your ice cream down in the sand, but of course that didn’t happen to you if you were the bully…or just the really weird kid no one touched…or an alien child. Still thinking this was a dream, I peeled open one of my eyes to take a peek at the morning that was streaming through my window. Ugh, it was 9:45.

“Ivy! GET UP!!” Clary’s robe flittered from the corner of my eye, but instead of coming towards me to shake me, it was retreating out the door. Slowly and carefully I sat up in bed, trying not to move to hard for fear that more of my heart would stumble onto the ground and run out to the streets. Taking in my surroundings I found my room had been cleaned, probably by Clary who had a slight . . . ok well maybe a HUGE case of OCD or as she likes to say it CDO. The light filtered in threw a shiny lime green curtain. Hm, that’s new. Clary came back into the door holding a large blue cup.

“Clary NO WAIT I’m” but it was too late since in the next instant my bed was soaking wet. “Ready.” After spitting out what felt like was twenty gallons of water I stumbled out of bed and pushed past Clary. “Thanks.”

“Ivy could you please hurry up?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Blowing off Clary like she was a wishing flower I made my way to the bathroom. That’s odd; the water for the shower is running. Hm, maybe she just really wants me to hurry up. Stripping down to nothing but my socks, I keep those on until I HAVE to take them off, I tiptoe quietly to the awaiting shower that now sounds like a heavenly retreat from this world of chaos. Steam escaped from the top showing a sign that the water was nice and hot. Just the way I like it. Taking off my socks, careful not to hurt my blisters, I walk into the shower and pull back the curtains closing my eyes to meet the water with a warm greeting. Waiting for the warm water felt odd because instead of a warm embrace from something not living, I smacked up against something that was.

“AHH!!” I jumped back to the wall where I felt at least some sort of security.

“Oh, hey Ivy. How are you doing? Just decided to take a shower. Sorry if that was in any. . .” His voice trailed off as he turned around to face me, “inconvenience.” He chuckled a little bit before turning back around to scrub the remainder of the soap off of his head. The tone of his voice, almost as if this was something that could happen every day, disturbed me, but not enough to make me not push past him so that I could get in the tiny space that my shower head covered. Neil’s hand caught my arm. “Hold on.” He pulled me back from the water and poked his head out of the shower.

“Neil what are you,” and then it was raining. Not the kind of rain that rained sideways just to piss off the poor little girl that had to go find her cat in nothing but her pajamas and some muddy socks, but the kind that a little girl wants to kiss her first kiss under. And right now, I felt like the little girl that wants her first kiss under the sweet rain.

“Turn around.” He turned me around, but not with much force since I did it anyways. The cap on my shampoo bottle clicked and something cold touched my scalp. The coldness felt good from the hot shower and so did the hands rubbing my scalp clean. “Just relax; you are going to do good today.” My shoulders un-tensed as I rolled my neck around.

“Sorry. This whole speech thing is just stressing me out.” He pulled me up against his body smoothly and dipped me back, just so that the little suds could run out of my hair and scurry across the floor into the drain.

“I am sure that you will do fine.” He lifted me back up into his arms and held me there. His hair fell sexily into his eyes where the water dripped from there onto his cheeks and rolled down his skin. Never could I be happier here with him, even though it was a tad bit awkward that we were standing in the shower, but I didn’t care as long as nothing happened.

“IVY COME ON!” Clary’s voice rang through the bathroom and made me jump a little bit away from Neil.

“Never! She is mine FOREVER!” Neil grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder while stepping out of the shower nearly slipping on his way out. Kicking and screaming I was carried over to the closet on Neil’s shoulder. He was totally ignoring my fake screams and pleas for help; it was kind of obvious when he started muttering something about which towel would match the color of his eyes. Then he situated me and opened up the door. A cold burst of air slapped my dripping body, but Neil wasn’t going to let me down for anything.

“Maybe you should take her back in there….” I could hear Clary chuckling as we made our way to my bedroom. He plopped me down on my bed and I quickly scrambled for my covers to at least cover my body.

“Ok I’ll see you later,” he gave me a small wink and left the room in all his glory. Clary closed the door as she came in with a smirk on her face.

“In a week you might want to take a pregnancy test.” I scrambled to keep the blankets on me as I shifted to go put some clothes on.

“Ha ha, you are hilarious.” I glowered at her back, but continued to maneuver to my closet. I wanted at least underwear on, I have a no-no square you know? Stop! Don’t touch me there ‘cause this is my no-no square! The good old days of intermediate school.

“Are you ready for today?” Her voice was sincere and for a moment I forgot that I had a speech today, one that could change my life for better… or for worse.

“Well I have my speech, but I don’t know if I am ready for the actual day to come.” I sighed a little bit as I continued to mechanically brush my hair.

“Well,” she jumped off of my bed and easily strode to my side, “you have my best of wishes and I know that you are going to do fine.” I looked up at her and smiled, hoping that she was right.

… :S

“Clary, pinch me.” I whispered over her shoulder as we were lining up, soon able to take our seats in the front row as the class of 2010.

“Ok!” She pinched my arm as we started to waddle our way through the tunnel and onto the football field. She throws me a look over her shoulder that looked like a cross between oh-now-you-tell-me and like she was about to burst out laughing.

“Not literally!” I could feel her shrink back, but kind of laugh.

“Sorry.” She spit out, but it was barely over a whisper as the crowds started to clap and cheer for their children, family, and friends. Somewhere Neil is out in that crowd cheering me on. For some strange reason that gave me hope; hope that this speech would carry on throughout people’s lives and they could one day look back on this day and remember my speech. I lifted my chin up, moved in front of the others, and took my seat on the stage next to Mr. Snooter and a few of the other teachers whose names escape me at the moment.

“Show time,” Mr. Snooter muttered under his breath as he picked his big belly up out of his chair and walked up to the podium. The crowd started to quiet down and soon I knew that our graduation would begin. “Ladies and gentlemen will you please rise while the national anthem is being sung.” The stadium seemed to rise up around us as, we too, stood up for the national anthem. I watched as Casey Spander took the small stage set out for her holding the microphone. She started after about 2 minutes of complete silence and what came out of her mouth was wonderful. I didn’t know that she could sing at all! But this was amazing! I watched closer as Sam and the other color guard marched into the center of the field. It was completely silent, the only sound that you could hear was her echo throughout the football stadium. Not one car honked, not one plane flew over, not one baby cried; life itself paused to hear her beautiful voice spin out the tale of our country. And as the last line was sung the crowd erupted into a mob of cheers and clapping. She bowed low and stayed on the stage until color guard was dismissed, then she gracefully bounced back into her seat while people around her patted her back to congratulate her on a job well done. “At this time,” He paused and looked around, “you may be seated.” Everyone took their place and got quiet again. “At this point in time our valedictorian Ivy Scene will present her speech to us.” He moved sideways a little bit and smiled to me. Every bone in my body shook with anticipation for this moment, but now that has finally come, I want to go home and hide under my blankets. My knees wobbling, hands sweating, and hair frizzing, I walk up to the podium. The crowd claps politely and cheers quietly, all waiting for me to start talking. I cleared my throat and began.

“Today is the day of not only graduation, but celebration of years that have changed us all. A day of tears as the high school years go away, but also of joy as we get to step further into our future lives. I would now like to take this time to thank all of the teachers and staff to be there for each and every one of us when we needed them most. I want to thank Mr. Snooter most of all for making our school trips, pep rallies, and school dances, that we the students organized, come into reality. You have helped us all feel safer here; whether it was wearing a superman costume during SATs,” a few people snickered in the crowd, “or actually being a super hero and role model for the students here at Los Angeles High.” I paused a little bit for people to aw or to continue snickering at the memory of Super Snooter in way to tight tights running around throwing pencils at kids in the hallway, unsharpened of course. “If I can remember correctly, we were all very nervous and much in our own business in the very beginning, when we were all fish lost in the new tank of high school. We tried not to make too much eye contact, tried to stay away from upperclassmen, and try to stay to ourselves as much as possible for fear of the rumors of freshman Friday.” A couple of people actually laughed, we all knew that freshmen Friday didn’t happen, well at least not at this school. “But as things like homecoming, winter formal, and other social events started to happen, we all became one class. Now I think that it is safe to say that we are just one big family and not one senior feels left out.” I took a moment to breath and let that sink into the crowd. You can do this. “Do you guys remember back when we were in elementary school and on the very first day we would take little quizzes and at least one of the questions would ask ‘ what do you want to be when you grow up? ’ All of us put things down like super hero, princess, warrior, ninja, or, like me, a wizard. As we got into middle school they asked us the same question, but this time we had answers like pro-skateboarder, NFL player, BMX racer, or like me a rock star. And once we got into high school, they asked us the same question, but this time they pushed a little harder and wanted a real answer, some of us said things like a doctor to finally cure cancer, a fireman to save a life, a policeman to ensure the safety of others, an artist to comfort those who are hurting, an actress to be someone’s role model, or like me, an author to take someone to a different land when the one that they are living in is getting complicated. Each year as we got more and more mature, our ideas of becoming things we know that we couldn’t started to die down. The little kids in our hearts started to quiet down and make way for the adults we are turning into. As we all head off into the different directions of life and might possibly be the doctor who cures cancer, just remember to keep your mind open to new things. I now graduate with all of my fellow classmates to become a writer, but also a wizard. Congratulations super heroes, ninjas, and princesses of L.A. High School, now let’s go save the world.” At first, it was as quiet as a sleeping lake, but then someone in the crowd screamed, “I wanted to be Spiderman!” And one by one the graduates stood up and yelled what they wanted to be when they were little and the whole while it was silent, until finally Sarah Pock stood up.

“I wanted to be a magician!” She smiled at me and winked. Then the crowds erupted like a volcano with cheers and screaming. Not one person in the stands was silent. I could feel myself glowing with pride as Mr. Snooter, tear stricken, came over and hugged me.

“Thank you.” He whispered quietly in my ear. I wanted to say you’re welcome, but truthfully I think that I should be thanking him. I think he understood my point because he motioned for me to walk off the stage and take my place next to Clary’s. And then began the long process of going through all of the seniors names, even though there weren’t THAT many of us, but still quite a few. Each name was followed by a cheer and a round of applause as the students filed their ways through the certificate taking, handshaking, and flower grabbing. Soon I was up there behind Clary, but this time as I took my first step back onto the stage I was full of pride and self-esteem. I looked through the crowd as they called my name and saw a few familiar faces. Jake, whom was still waiting in his seat carefully watching me, Neil, who was standing on his seat cheering and I think screaming that’s my girl, the Wells, who looked happy and as proud of me as their own daughter, and I caught the sudden glimpse of Ryan and my Mother standing side by side on the field smiling each giving me a nod of approval and pride. I paused for a second, but continued to go back to my seat twiddling with my flower between my nervous fingers. They were here. They watched me graduate with a smile on their face. I wasn’t alone in this world anymore. A sudden relief washed over me, I felt re-born, like a crystal glass lake in the morning before even the fish wake up to start sway. I wonder what the flower is for…. After all of the people were called and each of us were sitting down the crowd seemed to get more alive and each of us more excited with the level of anticipation that seemed to be alive in the air. “I would now like you to meet the Class of 2010!” Cheers ripped throughout the stadium, the band played, flowers were thrown high into the air along with our graduation hats looking like it was raining petals and hope; hope that each and every one of us would continue in this life to do great things. We left the field, Clary and I, holding hands as we did when we were little kids and afraid of going into the dark hallway at a sleep over, but now we hold hands as adults afraid of going into the world, but in the end, we know that we have each other to hold onto when the light starts to get dark and the world starts to slip between our fingers.

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