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One girl a million insecurities

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Author's note: this was written out of anger,hurt, and improvement to myself as a person.
Author's note: this was written out of anger,hurt, and improvement to myself as a person.  « Hide author's note
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7TH GRADE

6th grade flew by and then came my second year at Mountview, that was when the drama really started. 7th grade came and I thought I was ready to handle everything I was going to deal with. I realized 1 week into school I couldn’t. I will admit it was the “best year” only because that was when I made the most friends and had the most fun. I did have ups and downs that year but I learned to push myself through it all. Around that time I began learning the ways of other people, and how to put a wall up. That’s what I did. I never let anyone see the real me because I was so afraid of what people would say about me. 7th grade was hard. That was the year I really started to be affected by the noise around me. I had never had the problem of being picked on before so I didn’t know how to cope with it. I didn’t know how to defend myself. All I knew how to do was sit and take the emotional abuse. The bullying. When I had gone into Mountview I was happy, then as years went by I became drained of all happiness I had in myself. I guess some people got pleasure out of seeing me suffer. I never really showed it though, I never cried, I never yelled I just stayed silent. Silence was the only way I could collect my thoughts when I was upset. Which is something I still do. When I feel like I’m about to break I sit in silence, so quiet you can barley hear me breathing. I didn’t want people to know I was upset but somehow they always knew. I never let anyone see the real me because I was so afraid of what people would say about me. 7th grade was hard. That was the year I really started to be affected by the noise around me. I had never had the problem of being picked on before so I didn’t know how to cope with it. I didn’t know how to defend myself. All I knew how to do was sit and take the emotional abuse. The bullying. When I had gone into Mountview I was happy, then as years went by I became drained of all happiness I had in myself. I guess some people got pleasure out of seeing me suffer. I never really showed it though, I never cried, I never yelled I just stayed silent. Silence was the only way I could collect my thoughts when I was upset. Which is something I still do. When I feel like I’m about to break I sit in silence, so quiet you can barley hear me breathing. I didn’t want people to know I was upset but somehow they always knew. People would poke fun at me all the time. Silence was a sign of weakness. I wasn’t weak though. That these moments I was weak but over all the experience made me a stronger person. Pushed around and kicked but when I fell down I wasn’t going to give up, I was going to keep trying to get up when they kicked me down.
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This book has 2 comments. Post your own!

Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 11:43 am:

God, it seems like Middle School was the  tougest time for almost everyone. This was very honest and relatable, and it takes courage to share your personal stories!

 

Please check out my novel "SuperNOVA" and post your thoughts on it! Thanks :D

 
misstywaterfall replied...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 12:04 pm :
yah it was and thanks 
 
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