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Rock Star Cinderella

Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Hearts Broken Too Many Times

"So how did it go? Nice rose, by the way," Trish said as she came up to me with bags in each hand.
"Thanks. It went great," I said as we both walked to the mall entrance.
"is he cute?" Trish asked with a smile.
"Trish! Well, maybe. I'll give you the details when we get home," I said as Mom pulled up to the curb to pick us up. A few minutes later, Trish and I were up stairs in my room blasting some music.
"OK. So, who is he?"
This isn't the end for Ryan and Joanna. More coming very very soon.
Trish said with an excited face.
"He's somebody," I said mysteriously.
"Somebody who?"
"Somebody you know."
"Please, don't tell me that he's that kid who sits at lunch dissecting his chicken to examine the tendons."
"No. He's not Rodney Holder," I said with a big laugh.
"Then who is he!?" Trish said impatiently.
"You wanna know?"
"Please, please, please, tell me!"
"Ryan Prest," I smiled.
Trtish's jaw dropped. "Get out!"
"I'm serious."
"This would've been the perfect day to wear that glove. I can't believe you didn't wear it! Did you tell him who you were? I mean, of course you told him that you were Rock Queen," Trish rambled.
"I didn't tell him that I was Rock Queen, and I don't think he remmbered me without my glove," I said sadly.
"Why?" Trish asked with a questionable look on her face.
"Everything just happened so fast that I didn't get a chance to tell him, but I had this really great connection with him. He's something special," I said thoughtfully.

Later, at a hotel in Syracuse...
"OK, Ryan, we're here! You haven't said anything since we got in the car at the mall. Now tell me, how did it go?" Rob said as he shut the door behind him.
"She wasn't there," Ryan said saidly.
"What!? How come?" Rob said shocked.
"I don't know. She just wasn't there. Once I got to the fountain, this mob of screaming girls started to run towards me. This girl came by and grabbed my hand. She started dragging me to some sports gym, and we hid behind a window display until all of the girls left. I had such a connection with her. We talked for a little while. She made me realize what I have to do," Ryan said thoughtfully.
"What's that?"
"I'm gonna find Glovegirl." Ryan walked over to the computer.
"It's been three months since you've seen her. She's probably moved on."
"But I've got to try. If I dont' try, I fail anyway." He logged onto his e-mails.
"Are you sure she's the one?"
"So, how are you going to find her?"
"The next interview I do, I'm gonna mention her name, and hopefully, the next time a mob of screaming girls chases me, she just might be one of them," Ryan said hopefully.
"Well, that sounds logical," Rob said sarcastically.

[Hearttrhob: Hey, Rock Queen.]

[Rock Queen: Hey, Heartthrob.]

[Heartthrob: Where were you on Saturday?]

[Rock Queen: I know it looks like I stood you up, but I didn't meanto. I got there, then I ltierally had to run because something came up. I'm so sorry I did that to you.]

[Heartthrob: It's aright. I got caught up in something too. Can I ask you a personal question?]

[Rock Queen: Sure. What's up?]

[Heartthrob: Have you ever felt a certain way about a person that you'll probably never see again?]

[Rock Queen: So, who's the girl?]

[Heatthrob: How did you know it was about a girl?]

[Rock Queen: One thing that girls know all about is relationships. When someone says something about feelings and a significant other, you know it's about a girl.]

[Heartthrob: Wow! You're smart.]

[Rock Queen: Thank you. Anyway, tell me what's going on. The love doctor is in!]

[Heartthrob: Okay, "love doctor". I met this girl a few months ago, and I don't think I'll ever see her again . What should I do? Should I move on?]

[Rock Queen: Well, here is the love doctor's analysis: if you feel that strong abot her, then your definitely crushing. Don't move on yet. Who knows, maybe you'll bump into her at the most unlikely moment.]

[Heartthrob: So, you're saying that if I reallly like this girl, I should try to find her?]

[Rock Queen: If that's what your heart is telling you, then, yes.]

[Heartthrob: Thanks for letting me talk to you about that. I really like that I can talk to you about anything.]

[Rock Queen: No big. I feel the same way. Speaking about moving on, I need to talk to you about something.]

[Heartthrob: Sure. What's up?]

[Rock Queen: I think it's time that we move on. You've been a great friend, and I've really enjoyed chatting with you. But, I think it's time that we say our last goodbyes.]

[Heartthrob: Why? Did I do something?]

[Rock Queen: No! You did nothing. I wasn't there on Sturday, and I feel really bad about it.]

[ehartthrob: Don't be. We both got swept into something else. We can always try again.]

[Rock Queen: That's what I'm trying to say. If we keep talking, we'll try to meet again, and I already hurt you once. I don't want to see you or anyone else get hurt again. I'm soooo sorry, Heartthrob, but all the sign are right in front of us. This is one of the hardest thing that I've ever done. Everything is changing, and I think it's time that we move on.]

[Heartthrob: Since we're spilling our guts to each other, and we'll probably never meet, I need to tell you who I really am.]

[Rock Queen: Are you some type of secret agent? If so, I can definitely say that I have a clean record.]

[Heartthrob: Lol. No, I'm not a scret agent. My name is Ryan Prest. I have so much fun talking to you. You make me feel like a regular person, and that's a great feeling when you're always being chased by crazed fans. Thanks for being a great friend. I've been through some long distance relationships, and I totally understand where you're coming from, and, honestly, I've been thinking the same things too. Hey, If you ever happen to run into me, let me know.]

[Rock Queen: Lol. No problem.]

[heartthrob: So, I guess this is goodbye.]

[Rock Queen: Guess so.]

[Heartthrob: Goodbye, Rock Queen.]

[Rock Queen: Goodbye, Ryan.]
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 13 comments. Post your own now!

thejoyofrediscovering This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 8:58 am
Your idea for the story was good, and though people have done it, the rock star touch was creative. However, the story is kind of....rushed, which, unfortunately makes it a bit boring. Also the voice, for your narrator and other character's assumed age, is very inaccurate and immature. So slow the story down, add some description and age, and a good round of spell and grammar check, and you have potential for a better novel.
alex9426 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 6:19 pm
I think you have a good idea here, ie fame meets normal. But, I couldn't get through the first chapter. Start off with the story, you don't need all that background information if you can show the reader through her actions and dialogue. Work on dialogue flow and making it realistic. Also, there is a bunch of descriptive stuff that only takes away from rather than adding to the story. Keep the idea (it really is a good one) and start a new story with a different angle and a different style. :)
JustAnotherOwl said...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm
What direction are you planning on taking with this? Because it seems so...pointless. Like you aren't getting to the point and I don't understand why she does some things...Like, why does she say that they can't talk anymore online?
TheCreepyNeighbor said...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t exactly enjoy this.

Me!! (You don’t need two exclamation points, one will do.)

No one actually introduces themselves like that.

Try someone calling on her name. Show, not tell.

Again, too much showing not enough telling.

Most boy bands don’t have mosh pits at there concert.

“[T]hank you!”

Started raining really hard? Look in a Thesaurus for better wording. The dialogue isn’t ve... (more »)

TheCreepyNeighbor replied...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Oops I ment too much telling not enough showing. And this is why we proof-read. :D
CrazyWriter said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm
I love it!! no critzism !! CONTINUE please!
triathlete99 replied...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 8:54 pm
I agree! PLEASE FINISH!!!! So addicting!!!!
stellabella21 said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I REALLY like the story but I think the story is moving to fast so uch stuff happens in like 4 chapters. Really good so far can't wait for more!
peace4all This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 5:49 am
finish it!! can't wait!!!
BrielleM said...
Mar. 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm


I love this story so far! I like the idea & how instead of her being your typical Cinderella, you know, glass slipper and all, she drops her fingerless glove...Which is pretty awesome! (:

Obviously, the story has a few problems, just as every good story has....

The grammar was a bit off at some parts and the sentences can be choppy...& I agree with one of the people down there...Things just happen too fast! But that's okay, that happens to me too!

Someti... (more »)

MysteryHeart said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Ok So I REALLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wanna know what happens next.... you might have at one point though MAKE A CLIMAX !!!!!!! Tradgedy, deceive , back stabbing, lies ...its perfect story its just tooooooo perfect which can sometimes be boring we need something that will want us to keep reading.. your doing great though keep it up
PrincessSparkle said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I am a sucker for famous meets Normal people. I loved the idea but a few things sort of bugged me. I didn't like how fast everything was happening. Most readers like to build up to the climax whereas you jumped right on it. Its not really realistic but I still enjoyed reading it. Please write more. =]
Leann13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 24, 2010 at 8:58 am
It is a good idea, but I think if you would have added a real summary more people might have clicked 'read book'. :/ Well, I am going to give some tips, if that's ok? You have a lot of potential but most of your sentences are a bit choppy and I feel if you added more to them, let them flow, they would sound a lot more proffesional as a whole. You also use a lot of exclamation points, which is fine, but it starts to annoy the reader (I have gotten in trouble with this as well, haha) and just one ... (more »)

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