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Rock Star Cinderella

Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

Paparazzi + Celebrities = Running

That weekend, Trish, my dad, and I walked up to the building where the party would be held in a half an hour. Muffy's dad gave my dad an extra pass so he could be our parental advisory. Let's face it, that's the only reason why we were allowed to go to this function in the first place. The party was being held at a building that the record company used for special parties. The room was SO cool. The floor and the walls were a metallic black; a disco ball and some flashing lights helped give the room a nice tint of color. As we walked in, hundreds of girls were outside banging on the windows and screaming some pretty crazy stuff. In a half an hour, they would all be let into the party. We got in really early so we could talk with Mr. Riles, Muffy's dad. Trish and I wanted to give him our demo. You see, a few years ago, Trish and I started our own rock duo called Under Water. Basically, Trish sings, and I play guitar. We started performing at our school's talent show a few years ago. Everyone says that we sound really good; so we decided that we would try to break into the music business. You never know until you try.
A few minutes later, the party started hoppin'. "That's Evan Craiger! Harvey Coolage! Guy Savor! Guy is even hotter up close!" Trish said as we stood next to the snack table. Some of the best in the business were swarming around the place. Every time Trish saw a famous person, she would get all excited and scream her head off. As we ate cheese and crackers, Trish glared down at my left hand. "Why are you wearing the glove?" she said.
"I figured that if I wore my glove, Ryan might remember me. I mean, I only met him last week. How bad could his memory be?" I said unsurely.
"True. What happened to the other glove?"
"I don't know. When I got out of the meet and greet, I checked my back pocket, and it wasn't there," I explained. "I'm gonna get some more food. You want anything?"
"No. I'm good. Thanks though," Trish said as I walked over to the snack table. As I reached in for a popcorn ball, Ryan Prest did too!
"Sorry," we both said as we looked up at each other.
"Hi," he said shyly.
"Hi," I said, both of us staring at each other with big smiles on our faces. All of a sudden, a swarm of paparazzi started snapping cameras at us. Ryan grabbed my hand as we ran out the side door that led to an alley. "Thanks for getting us out of there," I said, fixing my hair while I stood in the alley.
"No problem. Didn't you come to my concert last week?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Thanks for lifting my spirits. That concert seened like such a disaster."
"Oh, no. It was great."
"I'm glad you liked it."
"It was the bomb," I said with a big smile.
"So, what's your name?" He said smiling back.
"My name is-." As I started to say my name, a swarm of paparazzi started to charge toward us. Suddenly, Trish ran through the crowd of paparazzi and grabbed my hand.
"Come on!" Trish said, dragging me behind her while we tried to run away from the paparazzi.
"Wait! I have something of yours!" Ryan yelled as I looked back at him. Once the paparazzi fiasco was over, Trish and I met my dad at the front of the building where the car was parked, and we headed back to our quiet home in Syracuse.
Trish slept over that night. "So, details, girl. I need details!" Trish said as she shoved popcorn into her mouth.
"We talked, and that was pretty much it," I said shrugging my shoulders.
"That's it?" Trish said as popcorn spat out of her mouth.
"There would've been more if you didn't drag me away," I said agitated.
"That's alright. You were just trying to help," I said with a sigh.

The next day at school, Muffy came over to our table. "Joanna, did you see the newspaper?"
"No. why?"
"It looks like Ryan has his own Cinderella," she said as she held up a picture of Ryan. I was standing next to him with my hands covering my face. "The report says that he doesn't know her name, but it seems like he and this girl have great chemistry," Muffy said with a smirk. "Sorry, you lucked out, Joanna. You two would've made such a cute couple."
"I think I'll survive," I said as she and her group of Cheerleaders walked away.

Later, at a hotel in New York City....

"You should've seen her, Rob. There's something special about her," Ryan said as he sat down on the couch with my white fingerless glove in his hand.
"Let me guess, she still has her real nose, right?" said Rob, Ryan's best friend/guitarist.
"No. Well, yeah. She still has her real nose. I think. But it wasn't about her looks."
"What was it then?" Rob asked as he sat down next to Ryan.
"her personality. She didn't fawn over me like the others."
"So, do you know her name?"
"No. She started to tell me, but her friend grabbed her hand and ran out of the alley. I tried to give her back her glove, but she ran away before I could give it to her. I have to find her!" Ryan said distressed.
"Ryan, she's just a girl. Don't waste all of your time looking for her."
"But, Rob, she the one!"
"What if she isn't?"
"Trust me, she's the one. I just know it."
"Okay. So, she's the one, but how are you gonna find her? Who knows how many girls own a glove like that," Rob said, pointing to the glove.
"When I see her, I'll know. I mean, we both know the conversation we had at the concert. Plus, I think this glove is growing on me." Ryan slipped on my glove.
"Oh, no! Call the fashion police. Ryan that's so '80's. Nobody wears that anymore," Rob said in horror.
"True. The only person that would wear something like this would be Glovegirl. Maybe, just maybe, if she sees me wear it, she would realize that it's hers, and I could find her. Some how. It's a plan in progress."
"Glovegirl? She must be pretty special if you're gonna give her a nickname."
"Yeah. She is," Ryan said with a thoughtful smile on his face as he looked at the glove that was on his hand.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next »

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This book has 13 comments. Post your own now!

thejoyofrediscovering This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 8:58 am
Your idea for the story was good, and though people have done it, the rock star touch was creative. However, the story is kind of....rushed, which, unfortunately makes it a bit boring. Also the voice, for your narrator and other character's assumed age, is very inaccurate and immature. So slow the story down, add some description and age, and a good round of spell and grammar check, and you have potential for a better novel.
alex9426 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 6:19 pm
I think you have a good idea here, ie fame meets normal. But, I couldn't get through the first chapter. Start off with the story, you don't need all that background information if you can show the reader through her actions and dialogue. Work on dialogue flow and making it realistic. Also, there is a bunch of descriptive stuff that only takes away from rather than adding to the story. Keep the idea (it really is a good one) and start a new story with a different angle and a different style. :)
JustAnotherOwl said...
Apr. 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm
What direction are you planning on taking with this? Because it seems so...pointless. Like you aren't getting to the point and I don't understand why she does some things...Like, why does she say that they can't talk anymore online?
TheCreepyNeighbor said...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 4:13 pm

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t exactly enjoy this.

Me!! (You don’t need two exclamation points, one will do.)

No one actually introduces themselves like that.

Try someone calling on her name. Show, not tell.

Again, too much showing not enough telling.

Most boy bands don’t have mosh pits at there concert.

“[T]hank you!”

Started raining really hard? Look in a Thesaurus for better wording. The dialogue isn’t ve... (more »)

TheCreepyNeighbor replied...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Oops I ment too much telling not enough showing. And this is why we proof-read. :D
CrazyWriter said...
Mar. 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm
I love it!! no critzism !! CONTINUE please!
triathlete99 replied...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 8:54 pm
I agree! PLEASE FINISH!!!! So addicting!!!!
stellabella21 said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I REALLY like the story but I think the story is moving to fast so uch stuff happens in like 4 chapters. Really good so far can't wait for more!
peace4all This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 5:49 am
finish it!! can't wait!!!
BrielleM said...
Mar. 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm


I love this story so far! I like the idea & how instead of her being your typical Cinderella, you know, glass slipper and all, she drops her fingerless glove...Which is pretty awesome! (:

Obviously, the story has a few problems, just as every good story has....

The grammar was a bit off at some parts and the sentences can be choppy...& I agree with one of the people down there...Things just happen too fast! But that's okay, that happens to me too!

Someti... (more »)

MysteryHeart said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Ok So I REALLLLLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wanna know what happens next.... you might have at one point though MAKE A CLIMAX !!!!!!! Tradgedy, deceive , back stabbing, lies ...its perfect story its just tooooooo perfect which can sometimes be boring we need something that will want us to keep reading.. your doing great though keep it up
PrincessSparkle said...
Mar. 2, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I am a sucker for famous meets Normal people. I loved the idea but a few things sort of bugged me. I didn't like how fast everything was happening. Most readers like to build up to the climax whereas you jumped right on it. Its not really realistic but I still enjoyed reading it. Please write more. =]
Leann13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 24, 2010 at 8:58 am
It is a good idea, but I think if you would have added a real summary more people might have clicked 'read book'. :/ Well, I am going to give some tips, if that's ok? You have a lot of potential but most of your sentences are a bit choppy and I feel if you added more to them, let them flow, they would sound a lot more proffesional as a whole. You also use a lot of exclamation points, which is fine, but it starts to annoy the reader (I have gotten in trouble with this as well, haha) and just one ... (more »)

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