Colorful hair don't care | Teen Ink

Colorful hair don't care

January 15, 2019
By cschwarz, Nyack, New York
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cschwarz, Nyack, New York
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Author's note:

It is a very entertaining sotry

Colorful Hair Don’t Care


As I walk down the hot San Diego streets everyone always looks at me and laughs. They act like I wanted this to happen to me, but all I can say is “colorful hair don’t care!”. It’s almost like Ii’m not a real person, the only person who respects me is my girlfriend, Nikki. Without her I would have nothing but my colorful hair and my failed attempt at being a rapper.


*2 Months later*


It’s bad enough that 4  months ago I was kidnapped  by a mad scientist and he permanently turned my hair rainbow colored. But now things just got so much worse. My girlfriend, Nikki, the love of my life, left me for some guy named Meek who just got out of jail. I don’t even know what to do with myself anymore. I’m alone and scared. The only thing I do is sit at home and try to rap. Maybe one day I will make a song good enough to get a record deal. So I got to work…


I thought long and hard about what what I should name my song. Then it came to me, I will call it Gummo. The name is just so perfect it will have to be a good song. When I started making it I knew it was going to be a hit, the beat was perfect and the lyrics were catchy. I startedplaying it for people showing it to people I found walking down the street. Most people hated it, which made me upset but a few people did enjoy it which gave me hope. The people who liked it showed it to their friends and then they showed it to their friends and I actually had a decent group of people awaiting the release of my song. Now that I made a good song I needed a sick name that people would remember. I came up with the name Takashi 9ine 6ix, it was perfect. Soon everybody would know the name and I would be famous.


One day I got a phone call from a man who said he was from Scum Gang records. This was one of the hottest record labels out at the time so I got super excited. He told me he heard my new song, Gummo, and wanted to sign me to a record deal. I said yes right away and he told me to come down to his office. He said the only problem was that he offered a record deal to a guy named Chief Keef and whoever makes it down to his office first is gonna get the deal. I immediately got into my car and started speeding down there. I was 4 blocks away from the office when all of the sudden someone crashed right into the side of my car. I was fine besides being a little shaken up. When i got out of the car I see a guy leaning out of a car window yelling “B*****s love Sosa”. I was so confused but then I saw his license plate said Keef and I knew who it was.


He hopped out of the car and I asked “who is Sosa”


He laughed and said “seriously, you haven’t heard my new song, AKA the best song ever. It’s called Love Sosa.”


I said “no” and I saw a great rage develop in his eyes.


He started running at me so i grabbed his arm and swept his leg out from under him. As he was on the ground he yelled “You will never get the record deal.” he managed to get up quickly and threw a right punch to my gut. I countered quickly with 3 throat jabs, he fell back with a stunned look on his face. I built up all my energy and punched him a hard as I can while yelling “TR3WAY!” He fell to the ground and said “You will never get this deal, you have colorful hair.” I couldn’t believe he said that, I yelled as loud as I could, “COLORFUL HAIR DON’T CARE!” and I face stomped him.


Chief Keef layed on the ground motionless. I was scared I had killed a man, I couldn’t afford to go to prison at a time like this. But all of the sudden he got up and ran, he kept running, and never came back. I had won, I had defeated Chief Keef. I made my way over to the Scum Gang Records office with my chest puffed out and the most confidence in the word. I walked in and a man who went by the name of Nighthawk invited  me into his office. We sat down, he didn’t say a word. He slid a thick packet of paper in my direction, it was a contract. I skimmed through, when I got to the last page I saw the line to sign my name and I knew all of my hardwork in life was worth it.


Then I got right into the studio and started working on my next hit...



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