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Lost For Words

Author's note: This piece relates to those who have a hard time expressing themselves in emotion filled or...  Show full author's note »
Author's note:

This piece relates to those who have a hard time expressing themselves in emotion filled or abrupt situations.  You would enjoiy this piece if you liked heartwarming?comedic story about relationships and friendships.  If you would like to leave me feedback, feel free! 

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“It is now or never,”  Mindy sternly stated, but was frustrated, “give me an answer” she pleaded. 
“This is too much for me,” John Joseph replied, he took a deep breath in,   “I do not not know what to say, and you know how I am.”  he stated as his eyes fell to the floor. 
She gave him an “are you kidding me?” frown and glare with her eyes.  “We can continue our lives together,

The hook, also establishes the conflict.  after, there is some background information about John.   

maybe get married,  I thought this would be an easy decision.  We have been happily committed as adults for seven years now.  This is the last time I will say it; Come live with me and support me in Florida, or stay here and we have to end things.  I have to do this, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” she said flustered. 
He kept replaying the question in his head and nothing came to mind. Except, how he could get lost in her big blue eyes or her adorable smile, even while screaming she was the most amazing girl on this planet.  He really could not imagine losing her and would do anything just to be with her.  Then he realized the word she had just suggested; married.  She had never brought that up before.  His heart started pounding faster and his armpits began to feel damp.  The same feeling came across him five years ago the night before they moved into the apartment together, and the time when she spontaneously opened a bank account in both of their names. 
“Go,” John Joseph said softly.  He barely knew what he had just said, but it came out.  His eyes began to develop little salty drops that rolled down his face.  He tucked his hands into his pockets and rubbed his fingers back and forth against the seams. 
“Oh,” Mindy stated in a lower tone than before.  She gripped her leather suitcase with the same pink bow on top that John had tied for her so that her luggage was distinct from everyone else's when they went on trips together. John saw that bow and all he could think of was how he would never go on another trip with her again.  No more late night conversations about wacky families, no more Netflix cuddle sessions, no more one on one basketball games at the park,  no more cliche sharing the same milkshake with cute red striped double straws, no more watching the sunset on the beach like in the movies, and most importantly no more Mindy Gathron.     
John Joseph O’Brien’s favorite saying is “Emotions are for the weak”. Even as a young kid, he would never give mercy and show a single tear drop after wrestling his brother and sustaining a bloody nose.   The idea of therapists and psychologists are outrageous to him.  “What kind of person pays a random stranger to talk to them about s*** going on in their life?  I’ll go out and do that for free” he told his brother after his mother died when he was 19.  This concept of avoiding emotions is not exactly great.  For example;  after he failed out of college he did not know what to do, and the next day he was on a plane to an atmosphere filled with colorful cartoon characters walking the brick paths, thrills of roller coasters, loud hoots of joy, and a marvelous towering princess castle.  He figured visiting Disney World for a week would supress how he feels and help him avoid dealing with his emotions.

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